Toddlerfightclub Dr. B took a sick day (I hope she realizes she's only got one left) but that's fine because I've got two other things to keep you occupied.

1) Alison, the very funny blogger at Mama Wants This grilled me yesterday for her Guest Star Series. She even challenged me to caption a picture involving a baby bottle, a handgun and a some sort of stuffed animal devil. Disturbing stuff. But Alison is from Malaysia so who the hell knows what passes for normal there. Check out the interview here.

2) I need to ask you all to settle something between my husband and me.

Last weekend, I left Mike alone with Mazzy for less than 24 hours. During that time, Mike took her to a Kentucky Derby Party at a friend's house. He even had me pick out a dress and hat for her before I left. Adorable, right?

Yeah, I thought so too.

Until he showed me a rather disturbing video from the party. More disturbing than a stuffed animal devil with a baby bottle and a handgun, you ask? MOST DEFINITELY.

WARNING: The video below shows extreme violence that may not be appropriate for young children, people with pace makers, or moms who are about to leave their kids in the supposedly "capable" hands of their fathers. I would also like to say that I have NEVER EVER witnessed Mazzy behaving remotely like this in my presence.


That's Sophia (5yo), Madeline (4yo) and Lucy (2.5yo) getting trounced by my one-year-old. Shocking, right? I know it looks like l edited the footage to appear worse than it actually was but in all seriousness, it was edited to look far less incriminating for all parties involved. The raw video with sound and at actual speed (it goes on for quite some time) was much harder for me to watch. Especially knowing that the answer to the "Where is Dad?" question was obviously— behind the camera.


Me: You should have intervened and broken up the kids.

Mike: Nobody was upset, hurt or in danger. They were playing. The girls were egging Mazzy on and she was having fun.

Me: I see that everyone was enjoying themselves, but by not intervening, you are teaching Mazzy that hitting is OK.

Mike: She's tough. It's a good thing. Did you see the "Scare the Bear" move at :42 seconds in?

Me: What the hell is the "Scare the Bear" move?

Mike: If you ever encounter a bear, you're supposed to raise your arms above your head so you appear as large as possible. Baby's got instincts.

Me: Great. Now we can leave her alone in the woods. I feel so much better.

Seriously— What do you all think? Should Mike ever be trusted with the child again? Or am I being ridiculous?