Apparently, natural disasters sound a lot scarier from overseas than they do when you are actually in the midst of them. While in Argentina (I'm still stuck here), New York fell victim to Hurricane Irene (hardly late-breaking news, I know) leaving Mike and Mazzy to fend for themselves in downtown Manhattan.
This put me in the tough position of having to trust my husband and his "laissez-faire hurricane-preparedness-attitude" over Mayor Bloomberg and his "doomsday-esque NYC Mayors Office twitter feed".
Phone Conversation I Had With Mike On Saturday:
(day before hurricane was scheduled to hit)
ME: WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GO???
MIKE: When?
ME: When you evacuate for the hurricane.
MIKE: We're not evacuating.
ME: But you're in an evacuation zone.
MIKE: No. We are in ZONE 3 which is not an evacuation zone.
ME: Shouldn't you err on the side of caution?
MIKE: We'll be fine.
ME: You don't know that. You have to be prepared for the worst.
MIKE: We're prepared. Don't worry.
ME: Did you tape the windows?
MIKE: I don't think that's necessary.
ME: Everyone is taping windows.
MIKE: Where?
ME: Online.
MIKE: I can see half of Manhattan from our apartment. I see no taped windows.
ME: Bloomingdales boarded up all their windows.
MIKE: Bloomingdales is on the ground floor. We're on the 12th.
ME: I heard that people above the 10th floor should find shelter lower because it's more likely their windows will get knocked out by flying debris.
MIKE: Where are you getting this stuff?
ME: Can you at least stay in Mazzy's room where there are the least amount of windows?
MIKE: Fine.
ME: I might not be able to talk to you for awhile.
MIKE: Why? Where are you going?
ME: No. I mean— if you lose power and then your cell phone battery runs out, I probably won't be in contact with you for a few days.
MIKE: You really have to stop reading stuff online. It's all media hype.
ME: I'm not reading media hype. I'm listening to Mayor Bloomberg.
MIKE: What are you— following Bloomberg on TWITTER? (said with heavy dose of disdain)
ME: No.
MIKE: No?
ME: Promise you'll stay indoors.
MIKE: Bloomberg is just covering his ass.
ME: Promise.
MIKE: I'll stay indoors.
———————————-
Phone Conversation With Mike On Sunday Morning:
(after hurricane hit)
ME: ARE YOU GUYS OKAY?
MIKE: Yep.
ME: Where are you?
MIKE: Outside.
ME: What do you mean, you're OUTSIDE?!
MIKE: We're fine. It's over. Everyone is outside. It's not even raining.
ME: Is the power out?
MIKE: No.
ME: Did anything get destroyed?
MIKE: There's a tree that fell down in front of the Italian place. It's like a glorified branch. A foot in diameter at most.
ME: That's it?
MIKE: No. You wanna know something horrible?
ME: WHAT??
MIKE: It's Sunday and the bagel place is closed.
(Glad it's Monday and everyone seems to be alive in New York.)
——————————-
Due to the hurricane and an internet outage in my hotel room yesterday, the results of the Baby Celebrity Lookalikes Contest will be announced on Friday instead of today. The winner of the Vonage Time to Call iPad Giveaway will be announced tomorrow.
Picture credits go to ABC News and NY Daily News.
It’s nice to know how reassuring husbands can be right?
Doesn’t he know that everything you need to know is on Twitter??
Have a safe flight home!
Ha ha ha! I love this so very much. And your husband reminds me SO much of my husband. He totally would’ve been the same way. (Oh, and in this dream world, I am totally you.)
So glad everyone weathered (ahem) the storm ok!
I had to BEG mine to take in the patio furniture. Now I’m gonna have to BEG him to take it all back out!
Funny! I’m glad the hurricane wasn’t bad and that your husband and child are okay.
I fled East Hampton to get to a non-flooding zone in Manhattan. I’m glad NYC was spared and everyone seems to be blissfully underwhelmed. Underwhelmed after a natural disaster in a city like New York is a good thing.
This is great. The hype was outrageous. I tend not to fall for hype over storms and even I filled the bathtub. It was a rainy day. That’s it. OK, so it was a rainy and windy day. Big fucking deal.
I know it was seriously destructive in other places, and don’t mean to be flip, but where I am it was nothing.
My husband and I would have a conversation EXACTLY like that. Funny how calm they are and how freaked out we get!
I know it seemed hyped, but more than 20 people died as a result of this storm (sorry to be Debbie Downer) so maybe we weren’t overprepared enough (?).
Ha. Yes, despite someone kayaking down West Broadway in Soho, it was a total non-event on the Upper West Side where we are. We woke up and were like, “did we miss it?” but glad we totally (over)prepared! Now we’re eating like pigs so all the food we stocked up on doesn’t spoil.
I know. But the NYCMayorsOffice twitter feed reported no casualties or injuries in NYC last night and I checked again this morning and read the same thing:
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2011/08/29/earlyshow/main20098619.shtml
I don’t mean to make light of the people that died. I just think they were all located farther south.
Also— I don’t fault Bloomberg for overpreparing. Better this way than the other way around.
I’m all for erring on the side of caution but the problem with that ridiculous Twitter feed (I did not follow it), is that next time they’re going to have a helluva time getting people to listen.
We left the city and went to Long Island where the power actually went out. Came back early yesterday and have been enjoying the quiet ever since.
Glad everyone is safe and sound on your end too and you’re still enjoying empenadas and dulce de leche. My huz is Argentine. We’ll be taking that long-ass flight with the baby in November.
I just laughed out loud at this one. I may have woken my kids up.
So glad they are all ok.
Great post. I live in Texas right near Galveston Island and Glamamom is exactly right. After 48 hours in a car with two dogs and a cat for “hurricane” Rita, we refused evacuation for Ike.. Thankfully we were spared. Now that I am a mother of a 5 month old (minus the pets) we will definitely be leaving if another one comes our way, with the hubby kicking and screaming.
wow. Just reading those tweets made me want to crawl under my very not in New York desk. He sure wasn’t trying to avoid a panic!
OK, this made me laugh. And I desperately needed a laugh today.
Awesome. Guys are so funny. But, I would have been mad about the bagel shop being closed too!
also, i hope you get home soon, I bet you’re sick of being away from your family and their maniacal ABC singing ways. 🙂
GENIUS interweaving of the tweets. Love it!
Hilarious! I’m very much a “be prepared” kind of gal. In the summer I keep a cute battery powered lantern on our dining room table in case a storm shuts down power. I’m glad Irene wasn’t as bad as she could have been.
I swear that for the past 3 days I could only be found hyperventilating on my couch in my tiny apartment in Brooklyn. The bathtub was filled. 9000 gallons of water were purchased, along with batteries, more flashlights, nutella and a thousand loaves of bread.
Who wants to come over for a nutella, bottled water and flashlight dance party?
Everybody gets there news from Twitter now. Doesn’t he know that. At least they were safe.
Mike’s sense of dry humor is a welcome addition to the storm histrionics, alll of which scared the crap out of me (naturally). I’m very happy every one is safe and sound. The “glorified branch” made me laugh out loud. Hope you catch a flight soon. Xo
Hi-larious. As always.
And now I’m going to go eat a bagel.
Just because I can….
Oh yeah.
HILARIOUS. So spot-on. I was all over Twitter (a hundred miles away in PA) trying to figure out what was happening in NYC. Honestly, even with the hype, it was the best news source out there.
That was absolutely hilarious! A similar conversation took place in my house, only I was having it across the room at my husband who was lying on the couch checking Facebook while I scurried around, moving things away from windows and stocking the pantry with Pop-Tarts and other nonperishables. We didn’t fare quite as well as you guys, unfortunately! (Out of power till Thursday. Flooded basement. GOOD TIMES.) xo
Great conservation! I was like that with my sister in Maryland. ( I am in michingan) Are you ready, Do you have supplies, are you evacuating, what about your papers – everything in backpacks… humphf.
The sky is falling, the sky is falling
The roles are reversed in my household. My husband was buying handheld water pumps and water by the caseload. I’m all…uh…we’re supposed to get 2-4 inches of rain. 🙂
(conversation)
i dont think you are the only one finding the lighter side of the bloomberg twitter stream, i loved this tweet:
@clevertitletk: in 10 minutes, Mayor Bloomberg is expected to announce a mandatory 9:30 “brush teeth and p.j’s” for the entire city.
also, @Seth_fried had such funny tweets i took the liberty of posting them (#9): http://bit.ly/noNXqh
hope u get home soon!
This is gold. Golden nuggets of har-har. Friggin’ Twitter Bloomberg and life-threatening hurricanes. Friggin’ husbands and their nonchalance. How is an overseas mom supposed to know how to feel? How to react? Disdain at the annoying disturbance of real-life blown out-of-proportion while you’re away being relaxed or abject fear and panicked rebooking of plane flights to rejoin your family before the worst happens? Didn’t anyone consider that?! Did they?!
Ilana, I have to tell you, I had finally caught up on your posts and then created a tab that automatically opens when I use Outlook Explorer so I never fall behind again. I will occassionally ask your mom “Adel, did you read Ilana’s post today?” and often times, she would come to my desk because I had the speakers.
This post I was dying!!!!! talk about piss ur pants funny!!! the inserts from Bloomberg’s tweets were on point and your conversation hysterical!!!!! never have I laughed so hard, with the expection of your post re: cutting off your lady parts….
I hope Mazzy survived Mike during the wrath of Irene :))
PS. it’s NOT just Mike that has the “oh, nothing’s gonna happen” attitude…My husband did as well. I found myself running out Saturday afternoon stocking up on candles.. Irene came and went and the candles weren’t needed (Thank God!), so he had a little “I told you so” thing goin on..Let’s just say, he is kissing the ground I walk on right now. The power DID go out!! only it was Sunday after he thought we were in the clear of Irene..
moral of this long story….SHUT THE EF UP and JUST DO WHAT I ASK YOU DO TO!!! WE KNOW BEST!!!!! IT WILL SAVE “YOU” THE OF EMBARASSMENT AND “ME” ALOT OF TIME I DONT HAVE BECAUSE I AM DOING WHAT THE GOV. OF NJ SAID TO DO!!!!!!!
You are doing a great job with this blog, Ilana :))))
I just read this today. And laughed really hard.
We live in DC, but were in NY for the earthquake. I was in my in-laws apartment, on the 9th floor, and said to my husband that I thought the building was shaking. He thought it was from the subway under the building. Did I mention we were on the 9th floor? Ummm…you don’t feel the subway on the 9th floor.
This post is brilliant! Thanks for the great laugh! 🙂
Just catching up on your blog…this post is brilliant! You’ve sure got a great sense of humor.
Oh my gosh I love this! This seriously sounds like a conversation between my husband and I!
That was hilarious! I’m seriously in awe of your sense of humor- wish I could pull that off. You are too funny! -A new reader
Wow, lovely site. Thnx …|