Last Friday, we tallied the popular vote for the Baby Celebrity Lookalikes Contest which went to the very deserving Lisa ‘Left Eye’ Lopez. Today we’ve got a second winner, courtesy of my official judging panel. (Somehow, I convinced a bunch of very big bloggers to judge my little contest. It’s possible they think there are actual celebrities involved. Shhh! Don’t tell them I am organizing this from my kitchen in my pajamas!)
Motherhood in NYC: Marinka is my daily read and one of the dryest, wryest, most cyncial humorists in New York City. Which is really saying something.
Scary Mommy: Jill has singlehandedly built a mommy blogging empire that makes me wonder if it is possible for someone to sleep less than I do.
The Pioneer Woman: Ree is not only charming and beautiful in person, she is a blogging legend with a following that rivals Justin Bieber.
Access (f*cking) Hollywood: Ryan writes the Access Hollywood Glam Slam blog and is totally slummin’ it in Mommy Shorts land. Be sure to leave your Fendi clutch and Prada wedges at the door!
Mama Wants This: Alison is my most faithful reader. She lives in Malaysia, so she’s the first to leave a comment EVERY SINGLE GODDAMN DAY. Seriously. Go check.
Crumbs Bakeshop: Mia is the co-founder of the sinfully delicious bakeshop that keeps lavishing my readers with all those awesome COLOSSAL CUPCAKES. In fact, they are giving out two more COLOSSALS today to the runner- ups!
Dr. B: Our resident early childhood development specialist, not to mention my sister.
Mike: My husband. The one and only.
Mazzy: My incredibly wise 21 month old, who will be weighing in because I didn’t think it was fair if I participated myself (ahem).
Each judge nominated one baby celebrity lookalike (out of the 150 entries) for the win. Then those ten nominations were given to each judge and they each put them in order from first to last. I used each lookalike’s collective ranking to determine the winner.
Shall we get to it?
Rants From Mommyland:
“We love Seth Rogen (because how can an adorable baby girl look like Seth MOTHERF*%KING Rogen?!), Bill Murray (the hair. OH DEAR GOD THE HAIR), and Crying Dawson (because the refrain from Varsity Blues – “I don’t want your life” – still haunts our dreams). But our favorite is Porter & John Candy because Porter’s expression is the BEST THING WE HAVE EVER SEEN in the history of the world.”
Motherhood in NYC:
“My goodness, who knew that kids could be so adorable! And so photogenic! And so famous looking! I wish I could vote for them all, and give special honors to the Olsen lookalikes and the animated Popeyes and Betty Boop and Cindy Lou Who, but for me, it’s Zach & The I Can Haz Cheezburger Cat who take the cake. Or the huge cupcake.”
The Pioneer Woman:
“The Russell Brand, the Billy Idols, and “the bad guy from Superman” made me laugh. But that Michelle Williams doppelganger? She’s a true lookalike: haircut, facial structure, eyes, everything. Anna & Michelle Williams for the win!”
“Runner up is the Yoda clone. That kid is practically the identical twin of the Jedi Master. The Kim Kardashian lookalike scored points for her bootylicious pose and who doesn’t love a girl in a little black dress like the Audrey Hepburn wannabe? But I gotta go with AJ & Russell Brand – any kid who can rock a rock-star-worthy ‘do better than the wild-mane man himself deserves to win. Now… where’s that pint-sized, pink-haired Katy Perry lookalike for a playdate?”
“This was one of the hardest decisions of my life. Agonizing, truly. In the end, the resemblance between Erin & Suri Cruise was just too great for me to ignore. Gilbert Gottfried and Elton John, however, were a close second. And shall haunt me forever.”
Mama Wants This:
“I love Jones as Popeye and Alexandra as Iron Man. As you can tell, I like the props. But my absolute favorite is Austin & Dexter. He doesn’t even need blood spatter, the resemblance is THAT uncanny. And my love for the show has NOTHING to do with my pick— promise!”
“I like Gilbert Gottfried’s grimace and Brad Pitt‘s pout. And I’ve got a special place in my heart for Uncle Buck. But I’ve got to go with Stephanie & Seth Rogen. Even in ruffles, she is the spitting image!”
“The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man and Humpty Dumpty have both been longtime favorites. Chris Farley and Mini-Me are the best recent entries. But ultimately, I’m gonna give it to one that got lost in the shuffle. Jake & Alfalfa. Severely overlooked in my opinion.”
“I need you to pick a favorite for the baby celebrity lookalike contest.” “Why? I thought you had a judging panel.” “I do. You’re on it.” “What do you want me to do?” “Just go on the fanpage and pick your favorite.” “How do I do that?” “What do you mean— ‘how do I do that?’ You’ve never looked at them ???” “Alright, alright… give me a second… I like… Alfred E. Newman… the bad guy from Superman…. Stay Puft the Marshmallow Man…” “Who’s your favorite?” “The Sweep the Leg guy.” Who? “Alexander & William Zabka from Karate Kid.”
“Mom, I know how much you love Kevin from the Office and Humpty Dumpty. And it is especially hard for me not to pick myself. But I think if no one nominates The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, you might have a reader uprising on your hands. Sammy & Stay Puft for the win. Because he came in second for the popular vote, because he is amazingly accurate, and most importantly— for your protection.”
The 2nd Runner-Up goes to… Jake & Alfalfa!
The 1st Runner-Up goes to… Porter & John Candy!
And the winner is…
Well, it’s an interesting thing because even though nobody picked him outright, almost everyone put him in second. And since all the other votes were all over the place, this lookalike prevailed without even counting Mazzy’s vote. SO.
SAMMY & THE STAY PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN!!!!
For more baby celebrity lookalikes, check out MyBabyLooksLike.com. (I told you I wasn’t joking.) All the contestants aren’t on there yet but I’ll be adding to the site daily. If you weren’t part of the contest but have a baby celebrity lookalike of your own, upload him or her here.
Next contest will be THE EVIL BABY GLARE-OFF TOURNAMENT. To enter, upload the meanest looking picture of your kid (ages 0-5) to the wall of the Mommy Shorts Facebook Fanpage. (Currently looking for prizes and sponsors— email me if interested at firstname.lastname@example.org)