I'm sick. Like hacking cough, if my life were a movie this would be DEATH FORESHADOWING, sick. If you remember, I also had a cold a few short weeks ago. It seems that I was permitted to get better long enough to prepare and host Mazzy's birthday party but as soon as it was over, I was sentenced to a fate far worse than the cold I started with.
You see, I have also lost my voice.
I've never lost my voice before and always thought it would be fun, but this SUCKS BIGTIME. Why do people keep asking me questions when they know it is painful for me to answer? And then those same people ask me to repeat myself over and over again because they can't hear me??? Maybe my husband can answer this question, HMMMM????
And why do other smaller people pitch a fit unless I read to them at bedtime even though there is someone else with a perfectly capable voice watching football in the next room???
And why does that football watching person in the next room act like he is the victim in this situation because he is condemned to live with someone who can't get rid of their horrible hacking cough???
I went to the doctor today and he said it's just a really bad cold and there is nothing they can do. I kind of wish it was a raging sinus infection so I could get some meds.
I guess I will just have to wait it out.
(She says while singlehandedly destroying forests to replenish her never ending supply of tissues.)
Because of the cold and the general misery, I do not have much to impress you with today. No fancy charts, no funny pictures, nothing.
So instead, I will turn this blog post over to Mazzy. My very advanced 24 month old who will wow you with her literacy.
CHECK IT.
Now. I know Mazzy is not actually reading this book, but in my mind, a ridiculous memory is just as impressive. I have read "I Can Share" just as many times as she has, but I can't repeat it back to you verbatim.
I would also like to make the point, not in a bragging sort of way, but in a "don't worry about your own toddler" sort of way…
Mazzy is advanced for her age. This is a factual thing told to us at Mazzy's first pre-preschool parent-teacher conference last week. Apparently, most kids will catch up to her in a year or two and we don't necessarily have the next Doogie Howser on our hands.
But that's okay, because as long as she can forge his signature and get me some meds so I can get rid of this GODFORSAKEN HEAD COLD, I'm totally okay with that.
She’s so cute! Does she like older men? Roo is 2.5. He reads with a bit more. . . let’s call it artistic license. Actually, he’s like that in all his artistic endeavors. Like at church this weekend when he went for a lot of crotch grabbing (Pampers in a twist, I guess) instead of singing about the birth of Baby Jesus.
So, keep us in mind, eh? Roo may need an advanced reader in his life.
Mazzy is totally advanced. I can barely make out what Monkey is saying and he definitely does not read out stuff (or quote from memory, whichever, it’s impressive).
And she’s so cute!!
I do hope you get better soon. I had the death cold a few weeks ago and I swear I died and went to er, hell, for 2 days. It sucked.
So cute. Astrid now lines up her animals to read to them and sometimes yells at them for not listening. Not sure who she learned that from.
In the midst of a cold myself, with my husband away and my children hell-bent on keeping it a living entity by continuously fostering their slobbery kisses my way. But even in the midst of my haze I can tell you (1) Mazzy is adorable and true beauty never lies, she will continue to be a stunner (2) but of course brains are more important than beauty (says me, but may be biased as am certainly no beauty); and while at some point all toddlers/preschoolers catch up in terms of being about to do the basics (walk / talk / memorize / potty train / etc.) some kiddies are naturally ahead of the game and remain so – my friend’s kid was an early talker and really has continued on to be an early reader, musician, etc. and not just in a regular way but Mad Skillz way. So yes. Mazzy is both a stunner and brilliant. Accept your fate! π
That – must – have – been – HILARIOUS!! I hope you taped it!! To replay at his wedding!! LMAO!
I love those books. My son was a lollipop as a toddler – skinny and a big head. Those books and the Clap Hands! Oxenbury ones were favorites because he related to the big-headed babies.
I also have a video of my daughter “reading” to me. So freaking cute. (And, like Mazzy, wildly advanced in ability!) Linked to it in my name.
This is great. I love hearing my 27 month old read to me. I get kinda giddy when he says “no momma! I read it!”
One thing I have found to encourage it is to just stop mid sentence in a book. He is so excited to finish it. We also are starting to sight read onomatopoeias (ahhh yeah 7th grade English in the hizzouse!) in easy books like “buzz buzz” “peep peep” “chirp chirp”. I point them out and he reads them….even if he hasn’t seen that book. It is pretty cool. Go Mazzy!
Dude – skip the cold meds and go straight to the Ambien. They your husband HAS to read the nighttime booky wook. It’s all about priorities.
Just found your blog through the rabbit hole this weekend, and am SO glad I did. You straight up funny.
merci,
Shannan
Mind over matter friend. Mind over matter. That is not a river of snot in your sinuses but merely an opportunity for you to overcome.
You can slap me at any point.
Feel better and I’m glad you have Mazzy to fetch you Halls & tea… Screw it, go straight for the brandy and hot toddy and you’ll feel better right quick or you’ll pass out which could be for the best π
I love it! Kiki used to do that. There was this one book that she could recite without even opening it. (She’s currently being evaluated for gifted education btw!).
Losing your voice sucks. You need to eat a lot of Jolly Ranchers, or your favorite sucking candy. Feel better!
See, you’re a nice, honest mommy. My mom used to set me up in the living room with my copy of Little Red Ridinghood and NOT tell anyone that I had it totally memorized (including when to turn the pages.) π
Adorable! This was totally my son at that age (and still to this day) memorizing stories ridiculously soon after hearing them. At 5 1/2 it makes it tough to get him to abandon his brilliant memory long enough to learn to ACTUALLY read the words, but I’m still proud of him π
Hope you feel better soon – and why are you reading to Mazzy anyway when she obviously should be reading to you? :O)
I thought I was the only one with an unsympathtic husband. They must have gone to the same “how to take care of your wife” class. Now he’s sick and receiving the same treatment he gave me. karma my friend!
Get well soon and Happy Hanukkah!
II wish! I’m never that prepared. Just lucky a we all got to church that morning.
Mazzy does like the older men. But Roo’s got lots of competition. Her birthday party was like one big collision of past and present boyfriends. Maybe the crotch-grabbing will give Roo an edge.
There are so many reasons that being sick when you’re a mom sucks- #1 being that you feel guilty for staying in bed.
That’s adorable. Mazzy likes to pass out books to me and Mike for us to read silently to ourselves. Then when she reads to us she does this very deliberate, “Okay. Ready? Everybody quiet. Okay.” before she begins. I’m sure it mirrors her teacher exactly.
I will take that fate. Although, something tells me that’s a dangerous combo in the teen years!
I hope we both feel better soon.
Just watched your video- that was crazy impressive! Mazzy likes to read to us all the time but she usually just pulls phrases that she remembers and says the title a lot. She doesn’t actually describe what’s going on in the pictures.
Mine’s got a year on yours…but maybe your next contest could be a Read-Off. π
Okay.
As you likely are aware, about 3 weeks ago I had surgery on my – ahem – asshole. As you can guess, IT HURTS LIKE A MOFO. It was serious surgery. Painful. I have been under doctor’s orders to lay down. No lifting. Rest rest rest.
So what does husband do?
HUFF because I asked him to carry the garbage bag 20 feet from our kitchen to the outdoor bin.
MOAN because I asked him to take the kids to school.
ASK if recycling “really needed” to be taken to the curb (the last cycle before Xmas? Uh. Yeah.) because I couldn’t carry the already-organized bins.
This man gets a hangnail and he flies his mom in to hold his hand. I have massive surgery on a very sad place and it’s somehow more painful for him to have to wait for my recovery.
Honestly. I just don’t get it.
Now go blow your nose.
I have a video of Princess “reading” Where the Wild Things Are. She’s slightly older, maybe around 3. So yeah, Mazzy is a super genius. Because obviously MY daughter is a genius and if Mazzy is somehow more advanced than her, Mazzy must be a super genius.
Oh also, I think you gave me your awful death-foreshadowing cold. Thanks a LOT. And my husband’s trick whenever I get sick? To suddenly be TWICE AS SICK AS ME.
We do this all the time. It’s always so surprising to me how many of the words Mazzy knows if you prompt her to so many different books!
Do you have the book- Knuffle Bunny? Mazzy reads (remembers) all the words in the speech bubbles so you just have to point to it at that point in the book and she shouts out “Aggle flabble klabble” and “Where’s Knuffle Bunny?” etc. It’s the cutest thing.
You know what’s funny? My husband has been taking Ambien so he can sleep through me coughing. He tried to get me to take it too but I was nervous to take it in addition to Mucinex, Advil Cold & Sinus, Robitussin etc. etc.
That is impressive! Most two year olds are hard to understand when they speak.
She’s actually been interrupting my napping with “Mommy, medicine?” and she hands me a cough drop. I keep waking up with wrapped Halls piled next to my head.
I feel your pain as I have the same cold and I was sure I had managed to avoid it! If Mazzy writes you a perscription please ask her to write a second one for me. Hope we both feel better soon!
You know it didn’t even occur to me that i could be sucking on something other than Halls. I bet it’s just as much sugar and equally effective.
That’s hilarious that your mom used to make you perform like that!
There is not a chance in hell Mazzy would “read” when prompted for company. I feel lucky to have finally caught it on tape. Although, I do think Mazzy knows which words go with which pictures since she seems to get confused when she skips a page by accident.
Reading to me is her new thing. Unfortunately, it just translates into postponing bedtime. She has been sitting on her bedroom floor insisting that she read herself- book after book after book. When I finally say, okay, time to go to bed, she puts up a huge fight unless I read to her as well. I can’t win.
I will be sick for three weeks, Mike will catch it and get sick for a day. Then it’s my own fault for not taking care of myself enough to get rid of it.
I get no sympathy whatsoever.
That is definitely one sad *nose blow* story. I’m sorry about your ass! And even sorrier about your sorry-ass husband. (OH, that worked out better than I had intended.)
Next time he gets a hangnail, you should pull it off for him and pour salt on it. Man needs a lesson in suffering!
While you’re at it, make his mom watch.
Too much?
Hope the healing is quick:)
They can go to Harvard together. Mazzy needs a room mate and maybe by that time, they will be in the same year. Kidding. No really, I’m kidding.
ha! ok ok, look, on second thought, “where the wild things are” is SO much tougher and more advanced than “i can share.” so maybe they’re both super geniuses. mazzy can move in with princess when princess is a senior and mazzy is a freshman. π
actually maybe that’s not a good idea because then mazzy might meet her roommate’s brother, and she will obviously fall in love with him, and we’ve already established that we cannot allow that to happen.
Oh man. I REALLY REALLY REALLY wish that we could tell everyone why that cannot happen.
Also- Mazzy and I are going to get started on “Where the Wild Things Are” tonight. Scratch that. War & Peace.
hee hee. i know, now we’re those annoying girls with a stupid inside joke they won’t share.
I hope you feel better soon! At least you got the reprieve for the birthday.. I had NO VOICE for Rebecca’s birthday when we had family over on the 11th. Thankfully, I had it back for her party on the 18th.
My favorite from my husband is when I weakly ask if he doesn’t mind getting Rebecca up from her nap, and he gives me an exasperated sigh and rolls his eyes because HE wanted to take a nap.
I know we’re Jewish and we don’t even think about the guilt-trips (it just falls right out), but I HATE it when he does that to me! (This sigh also makes appearances when I ask him to help with dishes and the laundry).
P.S. I used to think that when I asked my husband to move the laundry from the washer and dryer, it was implied that I also wanted him to turn the dryer on. I have now learned a valuable lesson π
OMIGOD Yes! When I’m lucky enough that my husband is home to help, I still hear everything, and I feel horribly guilty for not helping. Especially when he gives me that exasperated sigh… (see below)
She really is a mini Mommy Shorts.
OK, not to alarm you in any way, but I also caught the death foreshadowing cold and lost my voice this time last year, right after planning and hosting Vivian’s massive 1st birthday party. It turned into pneumonia and I literally couldn’t get out of bed for five days. So, just take it easy, OK? And also, this is why Vivian had the lowest of low-key birthdays this year – I was literally too scared to throw her a party after the memory of last year.
Vivian also has an amazing memory and can recite Goodnight Moon to me page by page. I, on the other hand, have NO memory anymore. She must have sucked it all out of me and into her while she was still nursing.
Feel better lady. xo
We had that with Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you see? And Ummm…I DIG the Manning shirt.