Snooki-pregnant-emilio-masellaAs you have all undoubtedly heard by now, Snooki is pregnant. I think I speak for us all when I say, I can’t wait to see the intelligent grounded baby that this fetus becomes.

What’s the best way to honor Snooki’s unborn child? By using her as a muse for my new line of maternity wear and baby onesies, of course!

Yes, they are even available for purchase. Thanks for asking.

FULL DISCLOSURE: I half-watched the first season but did not watch the seasons following, so I used the power of the internet to help me brush up on my Jersey Shore lingo. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, more power to you— please go back to reading your copy of The New Yorker.

As for everybody else, let’s take a look at my new MEATBALL MATERNITY COLLECTION, shall we?

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In case you are unaware, ‘DTF’ is Jersey Shore lingo for “Down To Fuck”. Everything make sense now?

Alright, one more…

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I didn’t want to leave Snooki’s fetus out so here are a few Jersey-Shore-appropriate onesies in case anyone is invited to the baby shower. She’ll love ‘em, I promise!

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Check out my entire Snooki collection on Zazzle. Feel free to submit your own Jersey-Shore-inspired sentiments in the comment section below.

And congratulations, Nicole Polizzi— I think you just upped your asking price for Season Six!