Last night will forever be remembered as the night Mazzy turned into Jillian Michaels.

First, she started running wildly in-place and then demanded I do it too. Next she yelled for Daddy to get in on the action.

A minute passed of frantic stationary running when Mazzy yelled, "NOW LIE DOWN!!!"

We did as we were told.


Okay… we stood up.


We ran to the door. 


Mazzy proceeded to take us through all the actions in the same sequence. She ran in place, she lied down, she got up, she ran to the door. 


We went through the sequence and paused back at the door.


I swear to GOD, this was happening. Mike and I completed the circuit maybe twenty times before Mazzy finally decicded it was time to move on to something else.

Unfortunately, that something else was sashaying across the room with our arms high above our heads and then chasing her around the coffee table.


There's no real end to this story except that after twenty minutes, I was kind of wishing she would announce a "temptation challenge". Would 400 Ring Dings and a blindfold be too much to ask for? I'm pregnant and I'm pretty sure there's no money involved, so I would inhale those ring dings like popcorn.

What else happened this week besides Mazzy threatening us with a weigh-in?

• I started writing for Babble's Being Pregnant. Don't worry, it's not an additional writing gig— I'm just spliting my posts between 'Being Pregnant' and 'Toddler Times'. Same workload. Check out my first post called— My Name is Ilana and I am 21 Weeks.

• I officially announced the gender of my fetus and we all wept for Mike.

• We tied our kids up while making mac-n-cheese.

• We played Road Trip Bingo.

• The first ever Preschool Superlatives were published.

TomKat fucking settled so we'll never know ANYTHING.


• I said next to nothing on National Television.

• Mazzy called me a "slut" in Spanish.

Cookie Monster sang hopefully the last cover of 'Call Me Maybe'.

• And… we plucked dirty pacifiers off the street and stuck them in our kids' mouths without even wiping them off on our jeans.

If you are not following Mommy Shorts on facebook (you can remedy that mistake by clicking here), you might have missed Mazzy's milk overdose scare.


Don't worry, she's recovering nicely and keeping her liquid intake strictly to apple juice.

I think that's pretty much it. I know that last week I talked about a "Battle of the Baby Bands" photo contest but Piccolini, the contest's sponsor, decided to hold off until September. You can still expect an AWESOME giveaway from them next week.

Also, and I don't want to get anybody too excited about this, but we might be getting a visit from the fabulous Dr. B.

We really NEED her around here, don't we?!

I hope everyone has a great weekend full of long naps, finished dinners and late wake-up calls.

By "wake-up calls", I mean a toddler screaming "MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKK!!!!!" like she was going to put out a fire with it in her crib.

xo, Mommy Shorts