Last week I announced I'm having a girl. The only problem with this (besides Mike casually asking me if I would ever consider a third) is that I already used my girl name.

The name 'Mazzy' was established long before I met the man I wanted to marry, headlining the baby name list I've had hidden in a folder within a folder within a folder on my computer for the past fifteen years.

It was the first name I suggested to Mike when I got pregnant and it was the only name he liked from that point forward.

Easiest process ever.

This time around, naming our baby is proving to be a bit more difficult. Every name I bring up connotes some sort of odd association for Mike. His response is usually quick and brutal, with a shake of the head that says, "There is nothing you can do to change my mind".

Our conversations (pre-gender determination) have gone something like this:

ME: What do you think of Rowan?


ME: Yes, Rowan.


ME: What's wrong with Rowan? Rowan is a cool kid!

MIKE: No, he's not. He's a skinny mime who wears his pants too short.

ME: What? What are you talking about? 

MIKE: He thinks he's funny but he's just annoying and British.

ME: WHAT????

MIKE: You know, Rowan Atkinson.

ME: Mr. Bean???

MIKE: Yeah, I'm not naming my kid Mr. Bean.

ME: Nobody associates Rowan with Mr. Bean.


ME: Alright, what to do you think of Lennon for a girl?


ME: Why not?

MIKE: Everybody's gonna think we're huge Beatles fans and start asking music questions we're not going to know the answer to.

ME: This is coming from the guy who suggested Hendrix for a boy?

MIKE: Hendrix is an awesome name.

ME: You know NOTHING about Jimmy Hendrix. What about Lennox instead of Lennon?

MIKE: Lennox is a stripper.

ME: Really?

MIKE: Yes. What else you got?

ME: How about Violet?

ObMIKE: Tell me one person who is happy with the name Violet.

ME: I don't know any Violets.

MIKE: Exactly.

ME: What about Archer for a boy?

MIKE: (long pause) Archer is cool.

ME: And then we can call him Archie for short!

MIKE: You just ruined it for me.

ME: Okay, we'll never call him Archie…

MIKE: No. Next.

ME: Sebastian?

MIKE: Sebastian is a cat.

ME: Jasper?

MIKE: Jasper is a ghost.

ME: That's Casper.

MIKE: Same thing.

ME: Allegra?

MIKE: Allegra is an allergy medication.

ME: Alexa?

MIKE: I like Alexa.

ME: No, I'm not naming my kid Alexa.

MIKE: You just said Alexa.

ME: I know. Forget that ever happened. Isadora?



MIKE: Everyone is going to call her Izzy and then we'll have Mazzy and Izzy and that just sounds stupid.

ME: Alright, you have a point. You come up with something.

MIKE: Indiana.

ME: Huh. That's pretty.

MIKE: Indiana Jones Wiles.



Obviously, Mike and I need help. What should Mazzy's sister's name be? (And just for fun, I'm going to answer as Mike in the comment section.)

Since we're on the topic, I thought it was finally time to share my 'tale of baby name regret' over on Babble today. For a brief period after Mazzy was born, I experienced the baby naming equivalent of "buyer's remorse". It was awful and took me over two years before I could write about it. But don't worry— it has a happy ending.