Earlier this week, I asked a simple question on the Mommy Shorts Facebook Fanpage: "What was the worst baby name your significant other suggested?" There were over 130 responses.
Today, we are putting the absolute dumbest suggestions to a vote in an old fashioned comment competition— with prizes, of course!
I culled through the Kal Els (a popular choice), the Mayhems (I like those Allstate commercials too) and the Nimrods (seriously?) and picked what I thought were the top ten funniest responses. I tried to pick names that had a slight ring of legitimacy to them.
For instance, if your last name is Bass and your husband suggested Dum, I'm gonna guess he was joking.
If he was not (I'm talking to you, Amanda), get out of that marriage while you still can.
Ready for the worst of the worst?
Melody said…
"Desmond T Roy so that his nickname could be DesTRoy… he's still pretty keen on this one actually."
Lynn said…
"Fifinella which is a female gremlin."
Celeste said…
"My husband wanted to name our son Chaos. I said no thanks because I didn't want a self fulfilling prophecy. We settled on Gannon. But after naming him I learned that Gannon was an evil character in the video game he grew up playing (Legend of Zelda)."
Gretchen said…
"Our last name is Beveridge, (sounds like beverage). My husband wanted to name our oldest son Cole. Ummm, no."
Lauren said…
"Elle Evans…aka Elevens, and then her number in sports could be 11 and life would be perfect! Seriously, I am not making this up."
Stacey said…
"Mohawk and Tomahawk for our twins. He wanted to call them Mo & Tom. Ahem, 'No thank you, dear'."
Jen said…
"Judge. Kind of cool, right? Not when your last name is Laws. Judge Laws. And what if he wants to be an attorney? Attorney Judge Laws. Or better still, Judge Judge laws."
Bethany said…
"Pickle. Pickle Wickham. Not as a nickname, not a middle name. A serious, first name."
Jessica said…
"Oh geez. Well. Our last name is Lloyd. So Floyd Lloyd, Boyd Lloyd, Android Lloyd, Frank Lloyd Wright Lloyd, Christopher Lloyd Lloyd. Avoid the Noid Lloyd. Unimp Lloyd. Every single name conversation we had for both kids ended up this way. We are talking a total of 18 months of this. 18 MONTHS of MY LIFE."
Kikiandkyle said…
"My husband desperately wanted to call my son Dragon. That is why I had my tubes tied."
Winner of the comment competition gets a set of five maternity-safe nail polishes from KNOCKED UP NAILS. Colors include (left to right) "Preggers in Pink", "18K Gold Crowning", "One Glass a Week", "Craving a Creamsicle" and "Red-E or Not, Here Comes Baby".
Who will score the prize? That all depends on your vote. Voting will be live until Thursday night, August 2nd. Winner will be announced on Friday, the 3rd.
May the worst name win!
TOO funny.
That nail polish is fabulous! I’m shopping for it TODAY. 🙂
I thought I could do this, but that is one tough list. I have to give this some thought.
so you have “peter parker” at the top…my son’s name is parker, and my husbands name is peter. and no, we didn’t do that on purpose, parker was the only name we both liked.
My sister had a friend who was named nimrod. no joke.. I felt so bad for that kid. Oh and she had another friend named netme and tangenika. yeah.. I would cringe every time.
There is an orchestral piece by Edward Elgar called “Enigma Variations” with a particular variation called “Nimrod” named for a friend of Elgar’s — We played it in my community orchestra last season, it’s actually quite beautiful, but I can’t help but giggle at the title like a 5 year old 😀
For those classical-music-inclined:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUgoBb8m1eE
Heather 🙂
DesTroy made me laugh out loud for an unusually long time.
I have a friend that named her son William Danger. So he could say “Danger is my middle name.”
I loved poor Jessica’s story! Sounds like my husband. Our last name is Bubert so he always throws Hubert Bubert out when we’re talkin’ baby names. It NEVER gets old, let me tell ya. He’s learning that it isn’t always fun for me for him to “have a great one” and it end up being something equally ridiculous!
Our last name is Casey. Luckily, we have two girls because both times my husband threw out Justin as a name. You know, “Just-in-Case…y” we had a boy.
I saw some paperwork come accross and this lady named her daughter La-a…..Supposed to sound like Ladasha, but she leagally had the dash in there.
My mom suggested ‘Kaysa’ or ‘Keisa’ when I was pregnant… I entertained the idea for a half second, until I put two and two together and said the full name. Kaysa Diaz. Oh Mom, how I miss your sense of humor!
I knew a girl who named her son Justin Nicholas, her last name was Thyme. Said he was ‘Justin the Nick of Thyme’.
The best, hands down, goes to a couple I knew who agreed to name their first born after the husband. That was close to 20 years ago. I’m curious what kind of young lady ‘Russell’ has grown up to be. Wish I was making that shit up…
The Dum Bass name was at first a joke. Then when my husband realized it made people crazy when he joked around with them, he started seriously lobbying for it.
DesTroy? Pickle? Sometimes I wonder what is going through our husbands’ heads.
bwahaah! I kind of love it. 🙂
I have to admit, I kind of like Elle Evans – sorry, Lauren! 😉
All these are pretty funny!
So do I!
I had to vote for Dragon simply due to the added ” and that is why I had my tubes tied”. Otherwise Pickle would have been the winner. But I just can’t get over ” I would like my tubes tied” MD ” Why?” ” Because my husband wants to name our next child Dragon” ” We will schedule you in tomorrow” Bwaa-haa-haa!
i knew a girl in school who was named (i kid you not) Almond Joy. Pregnancy cravings, anyone?
It didn’t take much convincing. My husband still finds reasons we should have gone with it after 2 years.
I knew a girl named April December. Really mom? Just because you loved the name your whole life did you have to do that to your kid?! April spent too much time explaining her name to people because we all thought she was kidding when we first met her.
My fave is floyd boyd, android boyd….what a guy lol.
Our son was going to be Mark Boy (after his dad’s name) a la John Boy Walton. Yeah we were both being silly by then lol.
Our last name is Mulfinger. Pronounced with the “finger” *cringe*. If only it could be pronounced like Kissinger… Anyway, my husband wanted to name our son Paul. Haha. Paul Mulfinger? Funny. When we found out we were having a girl, he said he’d settle for Paula, but only if we pretended we were Italian so we could say her whole name with an Italian accent.
i chuckled at Dragon 🙂
Hands down it’s Lauren’s “Elle Evans.” The name sounds cute until you know that the “Elevens” is a painful and awkward running affliction where a male runner’s nipples will chafe against their shirt until they begin to bleed. If you see a guy with two straight streaks of red running down his shirt he’s got the Elevens. And it’s totally common.
Christ. Just writing that made my nipples hurt…
My family’s last name is Flood, so when my brother’s wife was pregnant they said they were going to name a girl Phoebe Flood and a boy Elmer(Fudd). That was 25 years ago and I still laugh!
Nimrod is a totally normal and common name in Israel. You just can’t ever move anywhere else (maybe that’s why the mothers do it…..)
My favorite has to be Floyd Lloyd and Chaos!! ha,ha,ha…
Vegas. I know a girl who named her son Vegas. Kid doesn’t have a chance. He is destined to bea pimp or a bouncer at a strip club.
I realize I’m commenting on a 2-1/2 year old post, but I have to say that I went to school with a boy named Ben Jackson whose full name was Benjamin Franklin Andrew Jackson, and a girl named Krystal Lehr (pronounced ‘leer’) which was all good and fine unless you knew her middle name was Shanda. There are some strange parents out there.