First of all, I didn't understand how bedtime went down. Did they put the kids to sleep in their bed first and then join them later? Or did they all go to bed at once? And how does one fall asleep to re-runs of Seinfeld in either of these scenarios?
Secondly, I didn't understand when, why or how this started. Was it something instituted at birth on purpose? Or did it just develop over time despite best efforts to keep the bed kid-free?
And thirdly, doesn't having kids in your bed rule out all opportunities for sex pretty much ever? And shouldn't that be at least a little bit important to the two adults involved in this arrangement?
Never in a million years did I imagine I would join the myriad of parents who welcome little creatures into their bedrooms, to steal their covers, hog their pillows, and cockblock their sexy time.
But about two months ago, we moved Mazzy into a big girl bed and everything we took to know as true evaporated overnight. Our perfect sleeper? No more. Our efficient bedtime routine? Out the window. Our marital bed meant for two? Completely vanished.
Although Mike and I have successfully gotten Mazzy to fall asleep in her own room, we now have a little friend that likes to visit in the middle of the night and camp out with us until morning.
Our intruder usually makes an appearance at around 4am, which also happens to be the exact time that "taking Mazzy back to bed" no longer seems worth the trouble. "Taking Mazzy back to bed" would mean a tantrum followed by a calm down period followed by a begging/pleading session where I try and FAIL to convince my daughter to stay in her room until daylight. The inevitable defeat would take place at around 6am when Mazzy would proclaim, "Look, Mommy! It's light out!" and then all my trouble and lost sleep would be for naught, because indeed, it is now officially MORNING.
Did I mention that 4am also happens to be the time when you realize you went to bed too late the night before and you don't have nearly enough hours of sleep left to make up for it and thus, the day ahead of you is bound to be a disaster?
This is why, when Mazzy stumbles in at 4am and says in her most manipulatively adorable voice, "Can I sleep with you, Mommy?", I just pull her up into the bed, plop her between my husband and me, and try to take advantage of some cuddle-time.
With my daughter. Not my husband. That's clearly OVER.
Now, if we all just stayed still and respected eachother's positions in the bed, that would be AWESOME.
But after about ten minutes of cuddling, Mazzy always seems to maneuver her body so that she is lying in the bed perpendicular to both Mike and me, so we all form one big H.
She also prefers my side to Mike's side, so while Daddy is allowed to take up his whole half of the bed, Mommy is relegated to a teeny tiny sliver of bed all the way on the edge (see photo up top). Plus, Mazzy's feet are always pressing against my back (I have to turn away from her to protect the belly) so I'm left trying to balance on a half inch of bed while literally getting kicked in the back, until slowly, slowly, I am edged out entirely.
This is my NEW REALITY.
But at the same time, the baby is coming in less than a month and things are about to change dramatically in ways none of us can imagine.
Can you blame me if I don't want to kick Mazzy out just yet?
That ten minutes of snuggle time before Mazzy pinwheels around also happens to be the BEST THING EVER.
What's your bedtime sleeping arrangement?