One year ago, I wrote "15 New Year's Resolutions I Wish My 2yo Would Make" which basically listed all the things from naptime to mealtime I hoped would change over the course of 2012. Today, we're going to see how far my daughter has come. If at all.
Did she keep her resolutions? Or did she break them on January 2nd like everybody else?
Her 15 resolutions below with her progress in red underneath…
It all depends on whether Mom makes me. Sometimes, if I put up enough of a fuss, Mom will realize it's much easier to do it herself. Pick your battles, right Mom?
2. Due to efforts that proved futile in 2011, I will stop resisting diaper changes. Besides, potty training is scheduled to begin shortly and then I will be free to poop on the floor.
HAHAHAHA. My mom thought potty training would begin shortly. That's a riot. Still in diapers. Still resisting changes. "DIAPERS FOREVER!!!" That's my rallying cry.
3. I will let my mother wipe my face with a wet washcloth. Particularly if my face is covered with dried snot and old food. She is just trying to protect herself from judgement once we leave the house.
I will willingly let my face be touched with a wet washcloth on a COLD DAY IN HELL.
4. I will cut back my security items to one. Getting upset because I cannot carry both blankies, Abby Cadabby and all three sippy cups (milk, water and juice) at once is silly and unproductive.
I no longer carry around a plethora of sippy cups but I have increased my blankie allottment to five. There's New Boo, Big Boo, Tiny Boo, Old Boo, and Piece of Old Boo. That being said, my mother only lets Tiny Boo leave the house.
5. I will learn to love my mittens.
6. When I finish eating a food item but still have some left in my hand, I will put it down on my plate in a separate discard pile instead of throwing it directly on the floor.
I don't throw food on the floor. That would mean touching it. I haven't touched dinner since 2010.
7. I will work on broadening my cultural horizons. I hear there is a world beyond Sesame Street.
Yes! There is Curious George, Fireman Sam, Dora, Diego, Wonder Pets, the Fresh Beat Band, Bubble Guppies, Team Umizoomi, Yo Gabba Gabba, and Calliou! How silly I did not appreciate the cultural value of all of these last year.
8. I will limit the number of times I say the word "again" in any given situation. I understand that even if I find something fun enough to do over and over, after THREE, it ceases to be fun for everyone else.
What? Can you say that AGAIN? AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN!
9. Similarly, I will switch up my preferred bedtime books. I have a large book collection and there is no reason why I should make my mother read the same three books night after night.
Totally rocked this one. I now require my mom to read four different bed time books every night, chosen so carefully that it extends my bedtime at least one full hour. Then I must sleep with a pile of ten different books and then have my supply replenished some time in the middle of the night. Basically, there is never enough books.
10. When outside on the streets of Manhattan, I will refrain from licking random glass surfaces.
EWWWWW!!!!! THAT'S GROSSS!!!! No, I don't do that anymore. Wait, the sliding glass door in my apartment doesn't count, does it?
11. I will reframe my concept of naptime to both a privilege and a gift. Certain people would do almost anything (pay large sums of money, commit heinous acts, etc.) if it meant they would be allotted one hour in the middle of the day to lie on a bed. (Or so my mom tells me.)
I have totally embraced my nap but now my mom is trying to take it away because it makes me sleep better at night. WHAT IS WITH PARENTS??? Can't they pick a tactic and stick to it??
12. I will make an effort to expand my palate. I'm sure there are other culinary delights I can learn to enjoy besides crackers and bagels.
Like lollipops. And toast.
13. I will not throw a tantrum the second something goes wrong. Instead I will think about my dilemma, determine the most effective course of action, and then implement a carefully thought out solution.
I'm not sure I understand what this means, but it's making me ANGRY.
14. I will relinquish control of my iPad for a few hours a week so that my parents can check their email, play Angry Birds, etc. While I'm at it, I will stop referring to the iPad as "MINE".
Mom just got a mini iPad for the holidays so the old iPad is officially MINE. However, my parents have implemented this nasty timer thing whenever I use it and they appear to be sticking to it. Sigh.
15. I will stand still for approximately one minute a day. In that time, I will look my mother in the eye and tell her I love her. Like I mean it.
Yep, I do that all the time. Watch. "Hey, Mom? I love you… Now give me a lollipop."
What's your kid's biggest goal for 2013? Mine is all about potty training. If Mazzy's not potty trained by the time she's four, I'm pretty sure they revoke your parenting rights.