Screen Shot 2013-01-18 at 12.47.09 AM

Remember when we all thought Harlow was the biggest thing to happen to me this year? We were so shortsighted! Yesterday, I crossed the 10,000 fans threshold on the Mommy Shorts Facebook Fanpage, a goal of mine from way before I started thinking about having a second kid.

Harlow dear, I'm sorry, but you have just been bumped by my newly massive ego.

Can I do my Anne Hathaway impression?

Blerg. Thank you for that word, Tina Fey. Oh my gosh. This is happening. To the Facebook Foreign Press, thank you so much for having me on this internet full of extraordinary bloggers that have changed my life with their work. Thank you for this impressive number of "likes" that I will forever use as a weapon against self-doubt. And thank you for putting me, my work, in this category with great and gutsy bloggers. Kate and Lydia from Rants from Mommyland, Tara from You Know it Happens at Your House Too, Jen from People I Want to Punch in the Throat, Susan from Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva, and Amy from Pregnant Chicken. Something about typecasting and the Princess of Genovia and now I'm interupting another speech and making myself look like a total asshole because I forgot to thank some lady from CA and my lawyer. Somebody stop me with music!

Seriously, Anne Hathaway has never done a worse acting job than trying to sound off-the-cuff and humble at the Golden Globes.

If you have been a fan of mine since I started this blog two years ago, I hope you are as excited as I am to see the site grow, and you won't abandon me because I'm no longer cool and under the radar like I did with the Spin Doctors in 1992.

If you are one of the bloggers I mentioned in my acceptance speech above, then you know. 10,000 is nothing. I should hide in a hole until I have over 50,000 fans like all of you. 

Help a lady out, will you? Join my facebook page here

And just to prove I am not only thinking of myself, I somehow got Britax to agree to give away a $500 stroller to commemorate my milestone. So if you'd like a brand new set of baby wheels, check back here on Monday.

————————————————-

Searching for January's Instamom


Instamom

I've been truly blown away by all your fantastic submissions to the Elizabeth Street Instamom Contest. Above are four of my favorites. Clockwise from top left is @saidkristin, @thechirpingmoms, @mommasgonecity and @cmall2012. If you are on Instagram, do yourself a favor and follow them all. 

To enter, post a photo on Instagram that represents your new year with the hashtag #esnewyear and tag @elizabethstmom before January 31st. All submissions are eligible to win a family pack from Bobble.

And make sure to follow @mommyshorts to see if you are featured.

————————————————-

Braving Winter with Vaseline Intensive Rescue

Untitled-2On Monday, I asked you to name your favorite winter activity in order to win a prize package from Vaseline.

The five winners are LISA who likes neverending games of Monopoly, AMY who enjoys "a nice fire in the fireplace" (as opposed to setting her whole living room ablaze), JINA who likes going to the Museum of Natural History, KATY who likes drinking hot chocolate while huddling on the couch under a warm blanket (and obviously doesn't have any toddlers who would spill that piping hot liquid on her lap), and ANNA who likes counting the days until spring.

Congratulations! Please email me at ilana@mommyshorts.com to claim your prize.

———————————————-

Bringing My Play to Life

On Tuesday, I wrote a short three act play entitled "Post Maternity Clothes Shopping". Someone named Gretchen, who apparently has a baby that naps all day and thus, all the time in the world (way to rub it in, GRETCHEN!), made my play into one of those Xtranormal robotic animated videos.

Check out the final act:

 

An actual fan tribute! I really have made it! You can see the first two acts here.

I hope everyone has a good weekend full of facebook fans, moisturized hands and babies that nap like Gretchen's.

As for me, I'll be making our fourth attempt at potty training. If this time fails, I'm gonna forget about Mazzy and pin my hopes and dreams on Harlow. Clearly, she's the only one who cares about going to college without a dump in her pants.

— Mommy Shorts