About a month ago, I posted a comment on my facebook page about having trouble getting Harlow to sleep. Lo and behold (and this is what’s awesome about having a blog), a woman named Erin left a comment to contact her because she is a certified sleep consultant.
I finally took Erin up on her offer last week when I emailed to get her advice on how to successfuly transition my two girls into the same room. (Despite my post last week, we have been too scared to do it.)
Erin asked me to describe Mazzy’s sleep habits so she could customize a plan. I thought we had Mazzy’s sleep schedule in a pretty good place, but once I started giving the rundown to a professional, I quickly realized there is no way we can put both girls in the same room without some serious changes.
Ever since we switched Mazzy to a toddler bed, our main goal has been to get her to stay in her room, rather than to get her to fall asleep. But although we may have successfully gotten Mazzy to stay in bed, she will still remain awake for almost two hours after we put her down, ‘reading”, singing and talking to herself. Mazzy also wakes up crying hysterically every morning. She’s been doing the hysterical wake-up thing ever since she exited my uterus, so it really never occurred to me that this isn’t normal.
Erin said she suspects the reason Mazzy is having a hard time falling asleep and waking up like she under attack, is because she is overtired. And that lack of sleep probably translates into a lot of hyperactivity during the day.
**** RECORD SCRATCH ****
“Wait? Do you mean to tell me the reason my daughter is BATSHIT CRAZY all day every day could be because she doesn’t get enough sleep and not because she is ACTUALLY CRAY CRAY?????”
“That’s my suspicion.”
!!!!!!!!
At this point, I was ready to do whatever Erin suggested.
After filling out a questionnaire and talking with Erin for about an hour, she emailed me a customized plan. The most important thing being that we don’t move Harlow in the room, until Mazzy’s sleep is worked out, which is ideally 12.5 hours a day.
Erin wants to be clear that every kid is different and her sleep plans are based on her clients’ very specific situations. Mazzy’s plan is a very detailed two-page document but I am going to share a basic rundown of the things that are the biggest changes for us.
WAKE-UP TIME
CURRENTLY: Mazzy wakes up crying at around 6AM and comes to our room whiny and miserable. We let her come into our bed with the hope we can all squeeze in an extra half hour of sleep. We won’t turn on the television or get out of bed until 6:30AM.
REHAB: Erin said we need to honor Mazzy’s biological wake-up time and not try to make her go back to sleep. We should greet her with a big smile, turn on the lights and start the day.
NAPTIME
CURRENTLY: During the week, our nanny gets Mazzy to take a nap by letting her fall asleep in her lap on the glider chair before eventually transitioning her to the bed. On the weekends, Mike and I tend to skip the nap altogether unless she falls asleep in the stroller or the carseat.
REHAB: Erin says we must keep naps consistent, both with timing (1PM for 1-2 hours) and with how we put her down. Our nanny should follow the same routine we use at bedtime and Mazzy must nap regardless of the weekend.
BEDTIME
CURRENTLY: We usually start Mazzy’s bedtime routine between 7-7:30 and she’s in bed by 7:30-8PM.
REHAB: Erin says to put Mazzy to bed four hours after she wakes up from her nap. So if she wakes at 2PM, we should start putting her to bed as early as 6PM. The absolute latest she should go down (meaning bedtime routine is complete) is 7:30PM.
TELEVISION
CURRENTLY: Mazzy watches TV in the morning until 8AM when she must get ready for school. She is not allowed to watch TV during the day and then we let her watch a half hour show before bed to get her to wind down.
REHAB: Erin says to avoid television 1 1/2 hours before bed because it’s too stimulating.
SLEEP ENVIRONMENT
CURRENTLY: Mazzy forces us to leave the light on in the hallway with the door open.
REHAB: Erin says the bedroom needs to be dark with one nightlight preferably low and behind a piece of furniture.
BEDTIME ROUTINE
CURRENTLY: We brush teeth, change into PJs and a diaper (Mazzy is in the midst of potty training and we still use a diaper at night), and read books. Mazzy chooses her books herself. I usually read three books to her in the glider chair and one book with Mazzy in the bed. Then we give her a huge stack of books and let her “read” for five minutes to herself before turning off the light. Mazzy keeps the stack of books and continues to “read” with the lights off until she eventually falls asleep. This could last anywhere from five minutes to three hours.
REHAB: Erin says bedtime routine should be no more than 15 minutes and we should only read ONE BOOK. She suggests picking out five myself and then letting Mazzy choose one. Then I can let Mazzy have ten minutes of “reading” time to herself with the lights on. But after the ten minutes are up, I must take all the books away. She also suggested that I create a simple ritual like telling Mazzy three things I love about her and giving her a kiss, before I leave the room.
FIELDING REQUESTS
CURRENTLY: We are actually pretty good at this and don’t usually respond to her even if she yells for us. Although sometimes she tricks us like the time she pretended to hurt her arm so she could get a Dora band aid. We will also occasionally call out to her to say “No water, Mazzy! Go to bed!”
REHAB: Erin suggested that any time Mazzy asks for something, we take a piece of paper, write her request down and say we will do it tomorrow. We should not give in to any request ever. She also said if Mazzy just starts calling for us, to not engage.
GETTING OUT OF BED
CURRENTLY: If Mazzy comes out of her bed while we are still awake, we quickly take her back to her room, but if she comes into our room in the middle of the night while we are sleeping (which doesn’t happen often), sometimes it’s easier to just pull her in the bed than to walk her back to her room while she’s putting up a fight.
REHAB: Erin says, if Mazzy comes out of her room, regardless of the time, one parent has to walk her back without talking or looking at her. We must do the same thing as many times as it happens, even if it’s 1000 times in one evening. Eventually, Mazzy will catch on and the more we keep it consistent, the faster that will happen.
I’m very pleased that Erin’s plan is so different from what we are currently doing. Terrified, but pleased. It makes me think this might actually make a huge difference, if Mazzy responds positively.
We officially started TODDLER SLEEP REHAB on Monday. Erin says to expect it to take four to five days before Mazzy starts to get with the program. I will give you a full rundown of how it went next week.
If all goes well, I’m even gonna offer Erin’s services as a giveaway.
If Mazzy starts camping out in the hallway on a bed of tears and broken cookies, we all know who I will blame.
Wish us luck!
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You can find out more about Erin or arrange a consult at Pickles & Ice Cream Baby Planning.
This is awesome.
Good luck! I can’t wait to hear how it works. My 19 month old is a horrible sleeper – she goes to bed at 11pm and wakes up at 3am. We just bring her into our bed then and she usially sleeps until 8am. I’ve tried putting her back in her crib after she falls asleep but she always wakes up as soon as I lay her down. I always said I wouldn’t let the kids get in our bed but its hard not to. At least my 2 month old sleeps through the night!
This is an awesome plan. Before lights out every night I tell my daughter her dreams. Super fun for both of us!
I feel as though sleep training was our biggest challenge, but sooo worth it in the end. I’m sure you can stick to the plan. Good luck!
Good luck! I think she has very realistic suggstions and I like she had you fill in such a detailed survey as every kid/family IS so different even just with hours needed for sleep and how they handle being tired.
The nap thing is hard … my youngest doesn’t nap regularly, if she absolutely needs to she will fall asleep on her own but will not if I put her to bed. She ended that around 2.5 years of age (whereas my older child napped until past age five!). My youngest is up around 6:45a.m. and to bed at 8:30p.m. … but rarely wakes up at night so is solid sleep and that schedule is more at the start of the week – by the end when I am home, she sleeps in later. But … her mood is usually worse by end of the week, probably due to lack thereof of sleep at the start. However my hands are tied as 6:30a.m. wakeup is necessary to get to work on time, when at daycare they can’t force them to sleep and of course now the preschoolers chitchat while resting rather than sleep, and due to my older one’s activities and my hubbys work schedule the 8:30p.m. bedtime is impossible to move to an earlier time … whereas when I had only one I could cater a lot more toher sleep needs!
So awesome that you got expert advice on toddler sleep. Really hoping it works! And really hoping I can win a giveaway. It seems that we follow about 50% of the advice that Erin has given you (consistent nap times, succinct bedtime routines), but we are having trouble with our son waking in the middle of the night. Sometimes just standing at his doorway crying. Sometimes coming to our room. I feel like if we continue to have to help him back to bed, he’s just going to continue doing it. Also, the bedtime routine goes pretty smoothly when I do it and he’s in bed by 9:45 or 10 (I know, late). But when it’s hubs turn, it can be 10:30 or 10:45 before the kid falls asleep. Well, I won’t bore you with more. I’ll save it for Erin! Tks for sharing! Good luck!
Please do this as a giveaway. My kid’s sleep schedule is a fucking nightmare.
Good lord mine is as well. I feel ive failed at parenting because i cannot get him on an acceptable sleep schedule. Everyone tries offering me advise but they dont understand that kids are different and if im going to get help id like it to be from a professional
Good luck! Getting my kids on a good sleep schedule was probably the one thing I did well. It is still reaping rewards 8 years later.
Not gonna lie: I’m giving my husband and I a big ol’ pat on the back right now because we’ve apparently been doing everything right and, with only a few exceptions every now and then, Lil’ Bit is a great sleeper. She does go through periods where she’ll wake anywhere from 2-4 times during the night, but she no longer gets out of bed and comes into our room to stand beside the bed and stare at me until I wake up, as if she’s plotting to siphon my soul. She does call for us, but will generally go right back down when we come into check on her; sometimes I barely even remember getting up.
Beyond that, we seem to have a great bedtime/wake-up/nap schedule going on. So, I appreciate the validation from Erin – and wish you the best of luck with Toddler Sleep Rehab, Ilana. 🙂
I am curious what she would recommend for the child where they are giving up naps and to even attempt a naptime routine results in meltdowns EVERY TIME–to the point they spend most of the naptime screaming, and by the time they fall asleep, it would be such a late nap it completely messes up bedtime. For both of my children once we reached that point we stopped attempting naps and moved up bedtime.
Our bedtime routine is very similar to the one suggested, although with my daughter, I am to stay in the room for “five minute”–mostly because she’s a bit scared until her brother gets in there, but to avoid “talking to each other syndrome” we stagger their bedtimes by about 30 minutes–and she’s usually asleep before five minutes have passed, ten at the most.
Good luck! I’m sure the week will be rough as you transition.
good luck! i’ll be waiting to hear the results!
We call it the point of no return at our house. If little one doesn’t get 11 hours of sleep for 2 nights in a row she becomes hell in Keds. If she’s in bed by 7:30 she asleep before 8. If for some reason we’re running late and she doesn’t get to bed until after 8 she’ll be up as late as 10. It’s crazy.
wow. It makes total sense that she’s just hyper because she’s tired, but I never would have thought of that on my own.
I might need Erin. We have strict bedtimes and naptimes up in here, and the boys go to bed at 7, but OMG my almost 2 year old JUST DOESN’T SLEEP! We let him cry when he wakes up at night, he cries for hours. HOURS. and he’s done it since he was born. He is also pretty busy during the day. He’s the reason I don’t think I could have another child. I AM JUST NOW STARTING TO SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT AND he wakes up at 4:45. Naps are impossible. So yeah, you’re not alone?
Reading this plan literally made my pits sweat and I’m in panic mode. My toddlers sleep habits are identical to Mazzy’s but those rehab ideas are just not feasible for our schedule. Which then makes me feel like an awful mom. And now I’m sweating again. Sorry, but I hope it doesn’t work just so I know that I’m not a total failure.
Of course, I’m not serious about that part. I hope Mazzy becomes an awesome sleeper for you. Then I’ll ship Ryleigh the 90 miles to NYC and you can fix her for me. K? Great! 😉
Wishing you the best of luck. Once our son started getting his needed sleep time, his behavior improved greatly. Then again, all it took was removing his adenoids (snoring kept him from sleeping well) and establishing a 7 pm bedtime. Totally worth it.
I don’t agree that you should cut down reading time to just one book, it’s reading and quality time spent together. I do think she nailed it on most other points. It’s gonna take time and consistency and patience. Stay strong!
I hope this works for you guys. I am a sleep nazi, always have been and it is so nice when they go to bed without whining, you can still have together time/do some work time and you know that she will wake up refreshed in the morning. When my kids don’t sleep well, their behavior is definitely linked. And unfortunately since they didn’t sleep well, I likely didn’t either, so my behavior is just as bad
I am fascinated by this. My daughter is almost 4 and her sleep sounds identical to Mazzy’s. I will be anxiously following your progress!!!
I hope it works and you do the giveaway and I win. I desperately need help with my seven month old. I’m insanely sleep deprived and my health/family/marriage is suffering!!!
Good luck! The plan sounds great, and totally doable.
Our 3 year old is a great sleeper because we follow a consistent nap routine (by god I am not giving up his naps), and he goes to bed at the same time every night, and his routine is short and sweet. Other than a couple of regressions where we were firm with him (taking him back to bed firmly, quietly, like 1000 times), he’s been great. He also stays in his room after he wakes up, until I come get him.
Now, if only I can get my 10 month old to sleep through the night……
I hear you. Putting Mazzy to bed before 7pm seems crazy since my husband and I get home around 6pm. And our nanny is having a hard time getting Mazzy to nap before 1:30 because preschool is over at 12pm and then they need to get home and eat lunch.
But we’re trying to stick to it as close as possible and Erin has been making adjustments along the way. She has me email her daily.
My youngest cut out naps doing same thing, though if I am home and she is acting tired, I put her on the couch and let her watch a show – if she is tired enough will nap there, if not then at least is enough of a rest to rejuvenate.
I think the real tipping point in nap vs no nap is – is the child not napping but then constantly acting up? In which case they are resisting naps as not as much fun as being up, but really the naps should be re- implemented. As opposed to a child who stops napping but then is ok until bedtime (even if bedtime is then bumped up by an hour or so).
And that can all be relative to family schedules, for example my 3.5 year old can sleep in until 8a.m. at least 4-5 days of the 7 day week, since I only work Mon/Tues/alt Wed. Compared to another 3.5 year old who is dropped off at daycare BY 6:30a.m. 5 days a week and – I would imagine drastically different nappng patterns!
I was recommended to read ‘the no cry sleep solution’ by Elizabeth…?(can’t remember surname) and I read the symptoms of overtiredness and just thought….Ooooooh, that explains A LOT!! The main problem i found was keeping everything the same each night – you just don’t realise how late you get home or how long dinner takes or how much tv they’re watching until you start to look at it through someone elses eyes. If you don’t win the giveaway I’d recommend the book though – as always there are bits i think are a bit OTT but the general gist is similar to above and have worked for us. She also does a pre-school age book which i assume has similar ideas.
I can’t wait to see the results. I may have one just like yours…
I feel so sad reading your post!! You are so NOT a failure! It is unrealistic to expect one sleep solution to fit every lifestyle, which is why Erin made Ilana say that in her post … that the solutions are specific to family situations. I thank God every day I am off as I know in my heart of hearts that my second child would resemble a demon-spawn if I HAD to work everyday, and she HAD to get up at 6:30a.m. as she still would not be able to get to bed until 8:30p.m. which would not be enough sleep for her. Add in her personality – unlike my first, she is not comfortable with discomfort – and we would have had a hell of a lot more tantrums than we already were dealing with even with more sleep!
No one is judging you, so work towards the best you can do, stop judging yourself for things out of your control, and know karma = everyone with toddlers who naturally sleep great ending up with teens that keep them up all night 😉
I love this! I really hope all goes well for you. I could use a little sleep rehab myself for my one year old. I blame the fact that we share a room, but maybe Erin could be of assistance!
I can’t wait to hear how this works. I still remember my children’s good night ritual: “Nighty night, sweet dreams, I love you, I’ll see you in the morning.”
I think adding I’ll see you in the morning is comforting and reassuring.
Yes Kande, I should have said that! Erin really wanted me to make sure I stressed that every situation is different and there is not a one size fits all solution. This plan was specifically tailored to us!
“Erin said we need to honor Mazzy’s biological wake-up time and not try to make her go back to sleep.”
Wow, that sounds awesome and would mean my family would be starting our day at 3:30 in the morning since that is when my 5 yr old wakes up EVERY SINGLE DAY!! So um yeah… good luck with that. lol
Good luck! My almost 4 year old has picked up some bad sleep habits in the past few months. I will be taking notes. (And perhaps seeing if your slee rehab professional makes house calls all the way in the Michigan).
You are in luck! We did everything through email and over the phone. No house calls necessary.
Oooh Ilana I am so excited to hear how it goes!!! Good luck!
this is amazing! i didn’t even know these sleep whisperers existed in real life… we have a 17 month old who gives us the most difficulty with sleeping. he’s still in a crib, but i think he’s going to climb out of it any day now and then we’re screwed. fingers and toes crossed for you guys!
Good Afternoon. We made it feasible for Mazzy and I can make it feasible for any family. Thats why I do customizable plans for every family because every family is so different. Moms should never look at themselves as bad mothers because their children don’t sleep. You are doing the best you can and that makes you a great mom!
Erin
biological wake time for a 5 year old is between 6am-7:30am.
I’m praying you give away some services and I win. Sleep is the ONE THING that is still driving me crazy beyond the normal crazy of having a 18 month old.
Yea, that darn preschool! Which, for us, doubles as daycare so Ry is there 7am-5pm.. so they nap pretty early, like 12-2, which means, with your plan, bedtime would be 6pm.. but we’re barely walking in at 530pm LOL! It was the 4 hours after nap being bedtime thing that got me all sweaty..
Aw, thank you Kande! I didn’t mean for that to be a poor me post.. I was being a teeny bit facetious.. but panicky still just because of the hours I have to keep my kids under someone else’s care.. and the absurd hour I have to get them out of the house! Thank you for the support 🙂
I know it’s a custom plan.. but when you talk about Mazzy and your schedule and routines, it is so so similar to my toddler and our routine/schedule that I couldn’t help but think how unlikely an earlier bedtime would be for us.. I really do hope this works for you and I can’t wait to hear how Mazzy adapts!
Thank you, Erin! Sometimes there just isn’t enough time in the day to find more time for another routine LOL I’m anxious to see how Mazzy takes to this plan! And I’m betting it helps with potty training, too! Which is another thorn in my side.. much like Ilana! 🙂
WOW Mazzy is my daughter londyn!!!!!! It’s so hard and i have done most of these. BUT i haven’t been consistent. I am trying all of these i like the write it down on a paper one. Good luck i’m printing this out and following it! Only thing is I work in NYC and get home 730-8. i could never do 6pm 🙁 anywho i’m so excited for this free advice, THANKS FOR SHARING!!!
I can’t wait to hear your results.
I’m very surprised about the 4 hour gap between nap and bedtime routine. My daughter falls asleep in 5 minutes at nap time but then takes, on average, an hour to fall asleep at night. I thought it was be because she is not tired enough. Now in winter it’s difficult to go out and let them get tired so I’ve been waking her up earlier from her nap so that she’s more tired at night. Sounds like I’m wrong.
Very glad to hear this can be worked out over the phone, might consider Erin’s services very soon, although she may faint when she hears I put Nat down at 10pm… We live in Spain and it’s quite normal over here.
Best of luck, we are all rooting for you.
Hi, how does Erin decide what time Mazzy should nap? Is that based on what time she wakes up, like bedtime should be 4 hours after she wakes up from nap? Struggling with my 2 1/2 year old and when to put him down for a nap.
Kande – Both of my children had several weeks of “adjusting” when they gave up naps, with a few cranky evenings and a few days they actually napped.
Now naps typically only happen if A) they are rendered immobile in the car on long trips, or B) are sick and didn’t sleep the previous night or C) for whatever reason woke up insanely earlier and wouldn’t go back to sleep.
Most of my stress comes from transforming into the nagging mom every bedtime. My husband is assigned bathtime (something his responsibility since they were infants) and he feels zero urgency about sticking to a schedule, completely nonchalant if they go to bed an hour later. It makes me feel like the bedtime Nazi.
Of course, he misses the “joy’ we have the days they haven’t slept long enough while at work.
The info about bedtime starting approximately 4hrs after end of nap is fantastic info! I do find if the previous night’s sleep or that afternoon’s nap is crappy, I will move bedtime up by at least an hour (which means lights out at 6pm sometimes). It’s hard to do, but I do find it makes a world of difference!
I will admit that I am like a drill Sargent with naps – when the little is not at ‘school’ (aka daycare), I will always arrange our schedule to ensure we’re home for it (weekend, vacation, etc.). That routine saves all of us from insanity!
Best of luck!
Given that I also have a daughter Mazzy’s age, it’s interesting to read Erin’s suggestions. We still nap here, but I only wish it could be the same time each day! Impossible with an older sister who requires picking up from school around 2pm most days (Ugh!), and – now – a preschool schedule about to be thrown into the mix. Thankfully, this second child of mine has given me a lot less grief with sleep than her sister did. I hope the rehab works out for you. x
I love this – such great tips! I can’t wait to hear how it goes. Good luck!
Based on my experience, as well as schools/daycares, the universal nap time tends to start sometime between 12pm and 1pm.
My son is 15 months and it’s great to hear what your professional says. We have been bed sharing since he was 6 weeks old because it was the only way we could get some decent sleep. I don’t know if it’s been comfort or laziness or denial, but we just sorta kept it going and here we are at 15 months, still bed sharing, still nursing at least once a night, and nowhere near any sort of sleep training. Both my husband and I are very anti-crying, but we’re at the point where we feel like it might be time to get him in his own crib, in his own room. On the one hand, I know I really need to be ready to have the steely will not to cave to a crying baby, but on the other hand, the way this thing is going, he’ll be sleeping with me until junior high. I own a few sleep training books (including two copies of The No Cry Sleep Solution, I bought two since I didn’t remember buying the first one and it was tucked away on a shelf somewhere not being read) but who has time to read them?
I think a sleep professional would laugh in my face and call me a lost cause. My son has never put himself to sleep. The whole “put down drowsy but awake” thing never happened here.
I’m interested to see how it goes. My toddler sleeps good most of the time and I have a 7 week old. I would also like to hear how putting them in the same room will go. We want to put our two in the same room, and I have no idea how that is going to work. 🙂
I have heard the 4 hour rule before and I think it applies for naps as well. It might seem early at first, but soon his schedule will even out. Our daycare does naps right after lunch, around 12- 1230. 🙂
My 4 year old has slept through the night since she was 16 months, no whining or crazy requests. But we are still struggling with my 21 month old who was waking every 2 hours. We recently removed obvious sources of dairy from his diet and his night waking has reduced to about once per night, which seems far more developmentally reasonable. Could a dairy allergy have been causing his frequent waking? Or just coincidence that his sleep improved when dairy was removed? Will be watching Mazzy’s progress with interest!
Good Afternoon Bailey,
First and foremost, you are not a lost cause. Thousands of parents are in your same situation and there is hope. There are many gentle approaches that I personally like for co-sleeping parents. He is most likely not able to fall asleep because we aren’t putting him down at the right biological times and he is super overtired.I couldn’t agree more with you on the books. Who has time to read them and what if you pick up the wrong sleep plan for your family? Sleep is so important at his age because they are growing fast! More and more studies, find that children who don’t get the proper sleep are having self esteem, learning and weight issues down the road. I would love to help if you would like. I am offering 10% off my services to all MommyShort fans. I can almost promise you that this will be life changing for your son and yourself!
erin@picklesandicecreamstl.com
a child at 15 months, usually needs one solid nap (at least an hour) and a good bedtime between 6:00-7:00pm. This is the perfect age to stop co-sleeping because he will fight it more after 18 months.
I think one book is a great idea- just get the rest of your quality reading time in at some other time of day. There’s no rule about only having one reading time. And actually I thought this was genius because my kids use books as a way to delay bedtime because I’m a sucker for the “just one more book, Mama, please!” Almost no matter how many times they ask.
I want a sleep therapist for my son!
I am so happy for you that you have someone like Erin supporting you through this!
I went through something very similar. I was so confused by why my sweet daughter had become hyper, disagreeable, and moody. I got advice from a friend who is an infant/child sleep consultant that is very similar to what Erin told you.
It was AMAZING. After about a week, I had my sweet girl back again. It was worth all the work. We have kept up the basic bedtime rules and routines for the last 3 years, and she is still a champion sleeper. I could not believe that the girl I always called a terrible sleeper was really secretly an awesome sleeper all along.
No exaggeration: changing our sleep routines/habits literally changed our lives. I can’t tell you how many of my friends begged me for advice when they saw how much better we were doing!
This is funny
http://www.kodiakmylittlegrizzly.com
For me, this sounds very cruel 🙁 Ever heard about attachment parenting?
I absolutely am loving the idea of writing requests on paper and dealing with them in the morning. I’m usually like, “No”, but I think writing them down will actually make a toddler feel like their want has at least been addressed for the night.
I completely agree with the overly tired thing too. I think most parents have no clue how much toddler sleep our kids need. Toddlers can fake a mom out acting like they aren’t tired. Sometimes on the weekends we do a movie night, and my little guy can stay up late like a champ. It’s hard to believe how much sleep they actually need when they act like they can stay up forever!
it sounds like erin read healthy sleep habits, happy child. her principles are similar. there are chapters earlier in that book that will be really helpful in sleep training your youngest, too!
the toddler bed does rock your world, regardless but it’s a great tool and i love the science in the book, too. it really helps you understand what determines how well you sleep as an adult, too!
i read your blog pretty faithfully but normally, i don’t comment b/c it’s usually been said before! 😉
Well I could easily write an extremely long story about the rollercoaster of different sleep habits my daughter has had during her 5-year life, but I’ll just skip to our current situation. How do I get her to go back to sleeping on her own like she did before I went back to work and before I got pregnant? I think she’s anxious about sharing me with the new baby, and I don’t want to confirm her fears by telling her that only the baby gets to sleep with me and not her. On the other hand, I don’t want her to go through the same lack of sleep I will be going through when the baby wakes up to nurse every 2 hours.
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Hello everyone, I am a new mother and I’m desperately to get my three month daughter to sleep longer during night. At the moment I’m lucky to have three hours sleep per night. Best wishes
Anistyn’s sleep habits are all over the place. I spoke to a sleep specialist recently and a lot of her advice was similar. I can be down with the no screen time a couple hours before bed, and doing a shorter 20 minute bedtime routine. What I don’t understand is how people are able to get their kids in bed by 7:30…I feel like half the time we are eating around 7. If I wanted the kids in bed by 7:30 we would need to be eating by 5. Also, I can’t get Anistyn to nap for the life of me. I could lay her down and close the door for a couple hours in the middle of the day, but she sure as heck isn’t going to decide, hey, this is a good opportunity to get some shut eye. I’ve decided I’ll just sleep when I die.
I hired Erin to help sleep train my 2 year old and it was a complete waste of $243. She has a cookie cutter approach that works for some toddlers, but not all toddlers. If your kid doesn’t respond well to her approach like my son, then she won’t adapt and stops responding to your emails even though you have paid for her support for 7 days. My son was pushing bedtime really late and sleeping in too late. We didn’t know if he needed to cut his nap or adjust his bedtime to fix the schedule problem. Erin’s approach is the same (exactly what you read on Mommy Shorts). She makes your toddler go to sleep so early like 5pm if they have not napped that day or 6:30pm if they did take a nap. I would have to leave work at 3-4pm to meet this crazy schedule she put me on. Not realistic. My son was not tired enough to go to bed that early (he was going to bed at 9-9:30pm before the sleep training). She would make him cry it out for hours without allowing me to rock him or console him when he was hysterical – I was only allowed to do a 30 second quick check-in every 10-15 minutes, no holding him. She even told me to continue the cry it out even if he vomits (which my son almost did from crying so hard the first night)! Erin said to clean him up quickly, no engaging and put him back in the crib even if he continues to cry! Heartless!
After 5 days of him crying on and off for a minimum 45 minutes to 2 hours and him refusing to nap when he was such a good napper before. Things were getting worse, not better so I was done with her approach. She refused to adjust. By Day 5, Erin’s sleep training method resulted in him hating bedtime, kicking and screaming fiercely when we started the bedtime process, and my son trying to escape his room because he didn’t want to go to bed. His separation anxiety peaked after the 5 days of sleep training. It was really impacting him emotionally. Erin kept insisting he was overtired and had to go down that early. When it wasn’t working, she didn’t return my email after Day 5 when I paid for 7 days of support.
He was not overtired – he just wasn’t tired enough. On my own without Erin’s help, I found his ideal sleep window was 7:30-8pm, not 5pm or 6:30pm, and his naps finally returned to normal. He loved going to bed again, fell asleep within 5 minutes and slept 11 hrs at night and took a 2 hr nap consistently. No wake ups at night and he woke up very happy! I found his ideal sleep window on my own, which is what Erin should have helped me figure out. So disappointing!
Unless your child fits her cookie cutter approach and likes to go to bed really early (falls asleep within 5 minutes at 6:30 pm like in Mommy shorts) and you don’t mind crying-it-out for hours until your kid vomits, then feel free to call Erin. Otherwise, don’t bother wasting your money.
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The issue for parents WE NEED TO SLEEP. The issue for babies is WE NEED ATTENTION BECAUSE OUR NEEDS AREN’T MET. The parents think WHAT NEEDS? From the time you get home from daycare, preschool etc., you needs to engage your child in communication and routines. What did you do today? What happened that made you sad, happy, etc.? What needs to you have? Are you cold, sick, hungry… Let me show that I still love and care for you and vice versa. Hug, kiss boo-boos take bath, comb hair, etc. The routine creates a calm that means sleep. If you get in PJs and perpare for bed then your kid won’t think they are missingout on something. Books until you get tired? Not wound down enough… Warm bath, PJs cuddle time, etc. If you are giving rushed and annoyed vibes then the baby senses this, and the back and forth is proove you still love me, and that I am important! Really take a look at your behaviors and expectations then see where the gaps are that need bridging. Babies and toddlers are still growing, they need you to be consistent.
Soo interesting! Thanks for sharing! Here’s to more sleep!