Last week, I talked about putting Mazzy on a "Toddler Sleep Rehab" program designed by a sleep consultant named Erin. (If you haven't read that post yet, I would read it before continuing).
I promised I would post the results this week, but to be honest, it is still a work in progress.
I thought about postponing the post until next week because I wanted to come back and say— "It worked! Mazzy is a changed child! Parenting is like a dream job now!" But the truth is, parenting is freaking hard. Solutions don't always happen overnight. Or even in a week and a half. And both Erin and I thought you guys should know exactly what has been happening.
Last Monday (ten days ago), I implemented everything Erin outlined throughout the day and for bedtime routine. Shockingly, Mazzy went down with no problems whatsoever the first night. There were tons of surprises in this— she had no issue reading one book instead of four, was super excited to get the ten minutes of reading time as opposed to the five, and ATE UP the whole "three things I love about you". She was okay with turning out all the lights and okay with me taking away all the books. I think the novelty of everything was interesting for her. I left her room by 7pm and she fell asleep immediately.
Then I made the mistake of posting the following to a private group on facebook:
"People. Yesterday I had a consultation with a sleep expert about Mazzy, who has been driving me out of my mind lately. Today we followed everything she said to the letter and it's like I have a brand new daughter. She went to sleep tonight in two minutes. Usually she's up for hours screaming from her room. I don't want to get ahead of myself but it can't be this easy!!!"
This is the equivalent of Ginnifer Goodwin saying, "I've met the perfect guy and we're gonna get MARRIED!!!" in the first five minutes of a two hour romantic comedy.
Approximately three hours later, with crow in mouth, I was forced to post a most unfortunate development that is so over-the-top ridiculous I fear you will think I am making it up. I assure you, I AM NOT.
Let's just say, later that night, Mazzy very quietly crawled into our bed while Mike and I were *ahem* otherwise engaged. Mike addressed her before I knew what was happening and I am still getting over the shock. Also, it's a little hard to quickly and wordlessly lead your child back to their bed (as per Erin's instructions) when you have no explanation as to why you are fully naked.
At that moment, I knew this sleep training thing was not going to be the smoothest of rides.
Mazzy is a smart girl (Erin-confirmed) and it seems like once we get control over one area, she comes up with something else that throws us for a loop. Currently, she loves to hold her poop until fifteen minutes after we put her down for a nap. She has just been recently potty trained (although the poop is still an issue) so of course, she knows this is the impossible-to-ignore thing that will get our attention.
Because Mazzy has inserted so many twists and turns into sleep training, it has been very helpful to email back and forth with Erin to give her the daily rundown and switch up the plan when necessary.
For instance, when Mazzy continued to wake up in tears in the morning, Erin kept pushing her bedtime earlier, claiming Mazzy was still not getting enough sleep, until we had her in bed by 6pm.
To my amazement, I found that at 6pm, Mazzy goes to bed without a fuss, falls asleep within five minutes and wakes up fresh as a daisy. It also means that I must put her to bed fifteen minutes after I come home from work and Mike misses her altogether.
You see the problem?
Apparently, fixing Mazzy's sleep habits comes with a heaping dose of self-sacrifice.
Also, Erin says you have to be consistent to make a permanent change. Obviously, this is something I already know, but it has been a lot harder to implement in practice. I was very good with sticking to the plan last week and noticed continual improvements, but then we got to the weekend and everything was shot to shit.
Mazzy had a birthday party at noon on Saturday which is supposed to be when she takes her nap. We had dinner plans at 5pm which seems really early until you realize that we are supposed to put Mazzy in bed by 6pm. On Sunday, we had a family photoshoot that crept into naptime and we were scheduled to see friends across town in the afternoon. Mazzy fell asleep in the car on the way back.
This week it only got worse. It seems like every day brings unexpected circumstances designed to make "consistency" impossible— Grammy making an evening visit, me working late and missing bedtime, a surprise visit from Mike's aunt, our downstairs neighbors with a kid Mazzy's age unexpectedly dropping by two minutes before bedtime, etc.
Despite all of these hurdles, working with Erin has taught me a ton about my daughter's sleep patterns and what works for her and what doesn't.
For some reason, I previously thought being overtired shows up in the evening if your child skips their nap or misses bedtime, and then in the morning, you get to start over with a clean slate.
NOT SO.
It seems obvious now, but if Mazzy goes to bed late, she is a complete nightmare in the morning. If she gets a full night of sleep, she wakes up happy and ready to start the day. We found that the earlier we put Mazzy to bed, the more well-behaved she is in the morning. And interestingly, whether we put her to bed at 6pm or at 8pm, she still wakes up at the exact same time.
Also, if we put Mazzy to sleep between 6-6:45, she falls asleep immediately. Whereas, if we put her to sleep from 6:45 or later, she will be up for the next two hours in her bed, grunt and groan throughout the night and then wake up like a bat out of hell. So even just putting her to bed ten minutes late, can result in two hours less sleep. I can't tell you how many times Mike and I have to turned to eachother over the past ten days and said, "Crap. We missed our window."
Even more importantly, I realized it's much harder to be mad at Mazzy when she is acting like a nightmare in the morning when it's now clear her behavior is the result of us scheduling something that didn't allow her to go to bed on time.
So, as I said, it's a work in progress. But we will stick with it because we have seen many positive signs that we are moving in the right direction.
Here are the things that are currently working for us:
1) Putting Mazzy to bed as early as possible
I thought Mazzy would notice we were putting her to bed early, but she really has no idea.
2) Taking TV away before bed
We used to battle every night when we turned off the TV because Mazzy always wanted to watch more. Without TV as an option, we ease into bedtime routine pretty seamlessly.
3) Waking up with Mazzy in the morning
Instead of dragging Mazzy into our bed and trying to make her fall back asleep when she comes into our bedroom at 5:45am, I have been getting up with her and taking her into the living room. Erin said to make her eat breakfast before I turn on the television, in hopes that Mazzy will start waking up later because she doesn't have TV as an incentive. While it hasn't detered Mazzy from waking up super early just yet, it has given the two of us some of the quality mother/daughter time we are now missing at night. Plus, if we do bedtime right, Mazzy is in a pretty good mood.
One thing we have really struggled with is naptime. Erin has been talking to our nanny to try and work out a plan and I am hopeful that it will eventually come together. Efffective, timely naps will be one of the things that allow us to keep Mazzy up a little later without effecting her in the morning.
I think what it boils down to is Erin's plan WILL WORK if we stick to it, but we might not always like the implications. Namely, less time with Mazzy at night and our lives revolving around Mazzy's strict sleep schedule on the weekends.
However, I'm finding that fifteen minutes of Mazzy acting pleasant and well-behaved is way better than two hours of Mazzy screaming her head off, whining like a baby and demanding everything in sight. As for being spontaneous and social, I guess we'll have to judge those opportunities as they come up and weigh the consequences.
Before I go, I wanted to share a letter I received in my inbox this morning from someone who also used Erin after I talked about her last week:
"I just wanted to say thank you for posting about sleep consultant Erin from Pickles and Ice cream. I contacted her the day after your post because we were truly at the end of our rope with our 2.5 year old son and his sleep issues (which we quickly realized were really OUR issues with not setting boundaries! Parenting is so humbling). We skyped with her last Sunday and implemented the plan the following day. While the first night was pure torture, we have seen progress every day and so far have had two full nights of sleep with no night waking and no hysteria at bed time. So beautiful after months of sleepless hell that I almost cried this morning."
Which just goes to show you that everybody's situation/child/circumstances/results are very different. Just because I am having a hard time, doesn't mean the solution isn't easier for you.
With that in mind, I have two things to offer today. First, I am giving away one full consultation with Erin, which includes an hour conversation over phone or skype, a customized sleep plan designed just for your family and and two weeks of communication. This service is valued at $150.
In addition, if you contact Erin with the code SLEEPREHAB10, she will give you $10 off any sleep service. If you like Pickles and Ice Cream on facebook, she will give you an additional $5 off.
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GIVEAWAY RULES
1) You must be a Mommy Shorts facebook fan to enter. Then leave a comment below describing your current sleep issue as briefly as possible.
2) For a second entry, please follow @mommyshorts on twitter, tweet the following and leave a comment saying that you did so:
"I entered to win a full consultation with a child sleep specialist via @mommyshorts and @childsleephelp http://bit.ly/WMLV5c"
3) For a third entry, follow Mommy Shorts on Pinterest and pin the graphic below with the caption "Enter to win a full consultation with a child sleep specialist from Pickles & Ice Cream". Then leave a comment saying you did so.
Winner will be selected at random and announced March 15th.
Good luck!
I don’t need if for myself, but I have a reader who desperately needs it, so I hope I win so I can help her!
Just wanted to wish you continued luck with the scheduling. We, too, live our lives around our son’s sleep. It’s frustrating and annoying to miss out on fun stuff because we have to be home at a certain time for nap and (a very early) bedtime, BUT, the upside is he sleeps and, beyond normal toddler mishaps, is a tiny ball of sunshine. I remind myself it won’t be like this forever. And the upside is we go out for breakfast. A lot.
We have a 6 month old who has been waking several times a night ever since we got rid of the swaddle. He was such a good sleeper before, I want that back!
Oh man. This is so awful. And so awesome.
We have a whole different kind of problem that we just need to ride out. Our almost 4 year old doesn’t nap anymore at home and goes to bed like a champ on no-school days at 7pm. But when she goes to school, she takes a 2.5 hour nap and then can’t get to sleep until about 9pm at night. It’s awful. The school won’t allow her to not sleep, as she isn’t fighting the nap there, so it just is what it is.
I’m just hoping she gets a public school lottery spot for September so we can get her out of daycare and out of naps. We find out next week about that. Until then, I’ll be crying and drinking in the living room while Roozle sings Call Me Maybe as loud as she can all night long.
We have been a prisoner to my 3yo daughter’s nap schedule (she takes a 3 hour nap between 1 and 4 every afternoon) for the last couple years. While it is hard, it’s totally worth it to have a child that is pleasant, well rested, goes to bed without a fuss and sleeps 10 hours solidly each night.
Any time we make the mistake of putting our weekend social activity ahead of her need for sleep, we pay the price and have nobody to blame but ourselves =)
Maybe once Mazie gets caught up on all the rest she’s been missing she will be able to handle a later bedtime?
Liked on Facebook.
2.5 year old and 3 month old. 2.5 year old sleeps awful – hours of singing etc and has since birth. Three month old likes to sleep at night and hates naps over 30 minutes.
I guess we thought doing things like having dinner at 5pm was for her (we’d never go to dinner that early on our own) but in reality that’s still too late and we really can’t go out to dinner with her at all. The trip across town was to see one of her best friends, so it’s not like we were making her sit alone while we have cocktails or something. But I get your point.
We were a lot more strict about her schedule when she was a baby. I guess we have to go back to that way of thinking.
My boy is four years old and won’t go to sleep unless he’s in my bed with me!
Pinned (by AustinKVS)> Thanks!
My godfather&family are totally beholden to the kid’s sleep schedule. We’ve done the opposite – and have an almost-2-yr-old who wakes up 1-4 times a night. 🙁 At least she goes down easy but I notice she looks tired in the mornings which makes me sad. 🙁
I’m a fan on Facebook.
My big problem is that my son wakes me up EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. He’s 3 1/2 and has slept through the night maybe 20 times total in his life. He was waking up crying for a long time and often tosses and turns and talks in his sleep. Lately, though, he wakes up between 2 and 4 and just called me from his crib (we haven’t switched to the big boy bed yet) to come get him. So I bring him to bed and we sleep fine until about 7 AM (is in bed by 9 PM).
We’ve also been held hostage by our 3YO’s nap schedule for 2 years. I am the nap nazi who has turned down many party invites that occur during naptime. I would rather have a happy home and toddler!
My 2 year old doesn’t fight naps or bedtime, but he plays and talks in his bed a good 1-2 hours before falling asleep. And often, he will wake after 7-8 hours at night and play another 1-2 hours before falling back asleep. Maybe. Or he just stays awake. We don’t ever get him before 6:30-7 though, even if he woke up at 5. Meanwhile, my 3 month old was a beautiful napper until he was 11 weeks, and he forgot how to settle himself to sleep for naps or when waking after 45 minutes of nap. He does sleep well at night, though. Thank goodness.
My issue is how to handle three kids in a two bedroom NYC apartment. I’m pretty sure the answer is “Move” but an expert might help us merge all three (6 mo, 3 and almost 5) into one room so my husband and I can reclaim our space and some semblance of a normal marriage.
my husband and I had no life for the first few years of my sons life because we quickly figured out no matter when he went to bed, he was up at the same time… so just like Mazzy how he woke became the key. We lived a strict schedule around his sleep habits, and family thought we were crazy and inflexible… but totally worth it. He’s 9 now, still sleeps a min. of 11 hours a night most nights and we have few complaints. (only problem is bedwetting, he sleeps so well he doesn’t wake to go – so we wake him and he goes back down with no problem.) We found if we eased up on the routine, it took twice as long to get back onto it… it’s hard, but worth it. both my kids were sleeping through the night by 6 or 7 months old, and slept no less than 12 hours a night until they were 7. My daughter 7 sleeps from 7:30 – 7, Son 9 from 8 – 7.
My 3 year old daughter doesn’t nap, hasn’t since she was about 20 months. Has night terrors, sleeps with us and her baby brother in our bed and wakes up crying every morning. I haven’t slept through the night in over 3 years….Help would be so awesome and an answer to prayers.
My 2 year old goes to bed like a dream around 7:00 – 7:15. Problem is she is still waking up at least once a night and in order to get her back to sleep she gets a cuddle and some milk in her sippy cup. Her naps are always at 12 – 12:30 and last for 1.5 to 2 hours and she wakes up pretty happy but in the evenings she’s a terror! Whining and screaming argh! I pinned the photo and follow you on pinterest so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I win! I have a new baby on the way any day now and it would be lovely to have only one child keeping me awake all night.
Your post inspired me to try to get Caitlyn’s sleep issues in order. I took away TV and really took the whole “overtired” thing seriously, so she’s now going to bed almost 2 hours earlier. I seem to be having more luck than you, because last night, for the first time, she didn’t cry when I turned out the lights. I’ve been doing it for about 5 days now.
That being said, she tried the holding her pee/poop thing. She rarely uses her little kid potty- she always uses the regular toilet, but when she was obviously using it as an excuse to get out of bed, I put the little potty in the bedroom and told her- only ONCE (the first time she asked)- that she needed to use that potty if she needed to go to the bathroom. Then I ignored her after that (she wears a pull-up to bed, so worst case scenario is she pees in that). And you know what? She stopped asking to go to the bathroom. When she actually has to go, she uses the little potty in her room because I’ve stopped engaging her freshly potty-trained bullshit.
oh and when I say once a night that’s a good night. Most times it’s 2-5 times a night!!
“It also means that I must put her to bed fifteen minutes after I come home from work and Mike misses her altogether.” <---THIS My husband leaves around the time my 3.5 year old gets up in the morning and gets home between 8:30 and 8:45 every night. It tears him (and all of us) up for him not to see her for basically the entire week. And so she goes to sleep close to 9. Most of the time it's okay, but mostly we're just crossing our fingers for a better job :-/
We were total nap nazis when our twins were young. Everything revolved around the nap and the bedtime. It is so worth it in the end. We have two good sleepers.
Ugh, I get the “slave to nap” thing. Luckily most of our friends have kids too, so drinks and dinner pre-kids quickly turned into weekend brunch/lunch and mimosas post kids… we rarely do dinner out any more due to the same issue.
Pick me! Pick me!
My 3yo just doesn’t want to go to bed…she’s hungry,. she wants me (or Daddy…whoever ISN’T in the room at the moment).lately it’s potty…and we have ‘conquored’ potty training EXCEPT for the poop part…even so I feel like we are making progress. The problems come when we let her stay up (“but she doesn’t act tired”)
My 1 yo doesn’t want to sleep unless she is in my bed. She will go to sleep in her crib (Although it is more likely that we get her to sleep and then put her in her crib) And then EVERY. NIGHT. at between 10 and 11 she wakes up. IF i can get her back to sleep relatively quickly she goes back into her crib. However, then she wakes every hour until she is in bed with me/us. SHe still naps 2x a day…a 45 min nap is a long one.
Good parenting always requires self sacrifice. You’re putting their needs above your wants.
I hope the time change this weekend does not upset Mazzy too much. I know it always took my children a week to fully adjust to the time changes. Perhaps, for you, it will mean an extra hour with her in the evening, and an extra hour of sleep in the morning.
I’m a fan on Facebook, I tweeted and I pinned! Now for the sleep issue…
I have an almost 3 yr old that has suffered from nightmares and night terrors since we moved into our new house in Sept 2011. As a result, we have done anything possible to get her to sleep. This has transpired to be a 25 min lay down routine (hugs, loves, prayers and a story) followed by movie night, every night, in the living room and then transferring the sleeping toddler to her room. She has finally started sleeping thru the night about 3 weeks ago (typically 9p-530a), only since intervention from a priest after she described.. well, that’s enough of that for now. Anyway, she sleeps thru the night now but still will not go to bed (or in her room) awake. Ever. Even for nap. Or to play. The 9mth old has a bottle with me during the toddlers movie and falls asleep within a half hour on my chest, transfers to the crib without issue and sleeps like 10-12 hrs.
I need to get my 1 year old out of my bed. I also have a four year old who I thought was sleeping well, but after reading both of your posts, I’m realizing we may have some of the same issues that you’re having with Mazzy.
I’ve got a 2 1/2 year old and 1 year old twins. The oldest has discovered how to escape the crib so we’re moving her to a toddler bed – would love some tips on how to do this as smooth as possible, and how to get our nights back! Routines right now can easily last over an hour and she only wants Mommy. That’s after I’ve spent time putting the twins down too. HELP!
2 year old, with baby on the way, husband out of town for three weeks, last night’s experience (one of many):
8:00 p.m. – fell asleep in car, no bedtime drama
10:00 p.m.- woke up, I fell asleep in bed next to him until 12:00
1:00 a.m. – woke up, laid next to him for approx. 20 min while he fell back asleep
2:00 a.m. – see above (he did not actually get out of bed until now)
3:00 a.m. – see above
4:00 a.m. – noticed him standing in doorway, told him to go back to sleep. Think he stood there for about 45 minutes or so.
5:30 a.m. – alarm goes off, he was sleeping at the foot of my bed.
Basically refuses to sleep alone – HELP!
I did all three entries. My daughter will turn 3 tomorrow and she is an absolute grump in the morning. She also likes to play for a long time in her room before falling asleep.
My mother-in-law loves to take my three year old to Disney. But if she gets back even twenty minutes later than she said she would, she gets all anxious and is like, “neal’s gonna kill me. He’s gonna kill me. Now Addison is gonna go to bed late, and he’s gonna kill me…”
So, it’s possible I get a little intense about our kid’s sleep schedule. My wife has to tell me to chill out all the time. It’s PROBABLY good for her…but I have to be honest and admit that it’s particularly for me. I need structure in my life, too. Getting her to bed at the same time every day is like my security blanket.
My 3 year old son has only slept through the night a handful of times. I realize I’m to blame but I just don’t know what to do! His behavior seems a lot like Mazzy’s but I could really use some direction! Help!
Our 6 month old daughter will ONLY sleep in our bed and wakes multiple times during the night. She used to sleep through the night in her crib with no problem. It’s almost reduced me to tears, when she doesn’t sleep, all three of us suffer.
Our two year old has never slept through the night, except for random nights. She will only fall asleep with us in her room, and at times takes hours to get to sleep. We have a new baby on the way in two months and desperately want to help her learn to sleep better!
I pinned the pin!
I shared your first post with my husband, and said, “Read this, and tell me why you think we have trouble getting Mariah to sleep.” We have been breaking just about every one of Erin’s rules. We are experienced parents – if one can ever consider themselves “experienced” at parenting, that is – Mariah is our 5th child in our blended family, as we each have two others. We are going to sit down and come up with a plan this weekend. A strict bedtime, no more computer games with Daddy before bed, change the lighting in her room, start reading before bed, and figure out how we are going to stick to it together. I hope you find someone who can use Erin’s services to really help them. Thank you for both of these posts, they are super helpful. Oh, and about Mazzy walking in on you and hubs? Welcome to the club!
I have always thought there were two types of people, night people and morning people. While the Supergirl and the Hubs seem to be night people, I have always been a morning person. I prefer to be in bed before 10 and I walk up easily around 5:30. Currently, I am having to stay up until midnight or later to make sure that Supergirl is finally asleep and then drag her kicking and screaming out of bed in the morning (around 7:15). On the weekends, they will both sleep until about 11 AM. She is 5 – I cannot bear to think what I will have to deal with when she is a teen.
My 2.5yo is far from a perfect sleeper, but my almost-seven-month old thinks naps are for sissies, and although she is an angel all day, she demands to be held and nursed ALL NIGHT, and even then she wakes me up every 20 minutes or so to let me know that she is not happy. Steps must be taken!
Tweeted! 🙂
(https://twitter.com/vermardimick/status/309711069188866048)
15 month old who cosleeps and still is breasted likes to nurse all night. :/
I sent your first post about Mazzy’s sleep issues to my husband because it was so similar to our own 2 1/2 year old son’s issues! Coming up with every excuse possible, having to do crying it out, inconsistent wake up times, etc. We were afraid we were going to have to phase out his nap because he just didn’t seem tired when it was time for him to go to bed. We could definitely use some help!
And I tweeted! https://twitter.com/laurenm83/status/309713597414645760
Tweeted: https://twitter.com/moshau/status/309708649645875200
Pinned: http://pinterest.com/pin/256353403761528093/
My 8 mo. old does not like to nap for more than 30 minutes and is a jerk about it!
I am all over this giveaway. My son is 2 1/2 and typically doesn’t fall asleep (or stay asleep) unless either my husband or I are in the bed with him. Usually, the bedtime routine involves me falling asleep with him about 8:30 and then waking up disoriented about 10:30 p.m., wondering where my evening went. If he finishes dinner and takes his bath by about 7:30, we let him watch some tv before bed, which I’ve already been second-guessing and now this post makes me re-think it even more. Our kid also does the “waking up screaming and whining” bit and has since he was a baby. I had suspected it might be due to a lack of sleep but, like you Ilana, I did not want to sacrifice my limited evening time with him (after the commute home, it comes out to about an hour to an hour and a half currently). My baby daughter (now 5 months) is another issue – she crashes out at about 7 or 7:30, which is so fun trying to juggle along with getting our son ready for bed. She co-sleeps with me and sleeps well for the most part, except for waking to eat – but early morning (about 5-5:30) she gets very restless and so the last hour or so of our night is spent trying to keep her asleep. Why can’t this be easier?!
Just pinned the giveaway on Pinterest. Fingers crossed, we need help!
Please help! I am struggling with my 2 1/2 year old going to bed and my 8 month old who does not want to stay in her bed!
I follow you on FB, Shared on Pintrest and follow you on Pintrest.
Wow…very timely post. Sleep training sucks. I’ve got a 3 year old non-sleep trained beast! He sneaks into our bed every night and then I end up on the floor in his room with him just to get some sleep. Translated…..Help!!!
My almost 8 month old has very inconsistent night sleeping patterns. He can wake anywhere between 1-4 times a night, crying. We usually feed him 1x/night (around 1-2am), but my pediatrician says he’s old/big enough to get through the night without a feeding.
I tweeted! (@hleatherton)
I pinned! (http://pinterest.com/pin/246431410832411006/)
Our 3.5 year old has a bedtime routine that keeps getting longer and longer, with requests to read “one more” book or to lay down with him for unspecified amounts of time. His routine can last up to an hour and a half.
I also have an 8 month old who wakes up as much as every two hours. All night.
Help! 😉
My one year old son has a usual bed time, but what happens throughout the night and in the morning is a mystery every night. He goes to bed around 7:30pm every night, wakes up 0-3 times in the middle of the night, and then wakes up at 5:30am. My boyfriend and I both work full time jobs and have a lot to do outside of work. It drives us insane and we’re both exhausted.
Posted a comment on twitter, my username is ashleestoeppler
I may not be able to swing not TV before bedtime, but that whole eating before screen time is something I’m going to implement.
I would love to win a consultation. Currently, my almost 4 year old is refusing to sleep through the night. He wakes up every night before 2-4am with a bad dream, but I am almost positive that he just wants to sleep in our bed. I am going bat-shit crazy without uninterrupted sleep. I could understand when he was a baby, but he’s almost 4 and my youngest!!
So. Helpful. Just a few thinking changes and I seriously feel like I get my toddler’s behavior so much better now. Like the “window” and the waking up hysterical. Game changer.
My son wakes up crying many mornings. I didn’t realize that was due to lack of sleep. Some days he falls asleep on the couch while I’m making dinner and other days he’s up until past 9. His father and I are separated so I’m not sure of the bedtime routine at his house. Oh, and he recently stopped with naps although we still have “quiet time” in the afternoons.
Tweeted!
Glad you are getting. I am not entering to win but I am glad you are getting this info out. I am/was tired of being the black sheep for early bedtimes and not letting my preschooler skip nap…ever. We have had the same basic routine since he was 5 months old. Bottles traded for books. Crib traded for bed. But the same. Then along came Oliver and I repeated it. They now go to bed at the same time and sleep for 11-12 hours at night (barring baby sleep regressions…fucking babies). Then they both go down for nap within minutes at the same time on the weekends. No rocking. No feeding. Books, song, sleep.
Hopefully getting a solid nap will help with the bedtime being so early. It worked for us because we get off work at 4. Also maybe get her thoughts on the time change this weekend. Could you use that to your advantage?
I also interviewed a local sleep coach here…maybe some of this could help people as well: http://www.mannlymama.com/2012/11/first-daze-and-nightzzz-a-sleep-coach-interview/
Pinned!
Should I do something on Instagram too? I feel like we’re not employing enough social media outlets!
I also tweeted.
I don’t comment on my own children’s sleep habits because it’s just tempting fate, but I will say that I have been preaching the “putting them to bed later will not make them sleep later” line for years. I firmly believe that kids have a hard-wired wake up time and there’s nothing you can do about it. It’s so hard to put them to bed early though if you have traditional (or even later) working hours.
Our 4 month old is about to start to roll over and I am worried once she starts to do that and can’t be swaddled her sleep is really going to be a mess. She goes to bed at 7pm and sometimes sleeps until 4 or so, other times she is up at 12:30 or 2:30. We never know what to expect with her.
I tweeted the giveaway (bcvannier) too!
I follow you on FB and tweeted. My 2yr old – we put him down at 730 and he doesnt fall asleep until 830ish. Tries to take a 2-3 hr nap in the afternoons, too long.
3yr old getting up 3 and 4 times a night. We have an 11mo that needs to share his room!
We SO need this. Let’s just say we have a 1.5 year old and her sleep is worse now than when she was 1.5 MONTHS old. HELP!!
My 3 year old daughter’s sleep schedule has been rocky for the last month. She gets up earlier every day. Yesterday she was up and ready to play at 5:15 am. I try to get her to go back to bed, but it’s pointless. She has also given up her afternoon nap. We do “rest time” in her room for an hour, but she does anything except for rest.
I have a newly 3 year old that will not sleep in his own bed. We’ve coslept since his birth and it has been fine, but it’s time to get him out of his bed, but he WAILS if I don’t sleep in his bed with him or don’t let him sleep with me. It’s getting to the point that neither of us is getting adequate sleep. I am a facebook follower, btw.
My 2.5 year old daughter is a BEAST if she doesn’t take a nap. If she does take a nap, she’s up until 10 pm. Oh…and I lay in her bed with her every night and sing a line from a song over and over for 10 minutes and she takes 3 bottles of milk at night. If we take them away she won’t sleep at all.
I fucking suck.
I’m having surgery next week and cannot lift her for 4 weeks. I need help.
Good luck! We’ve been through some rough points around here too, but don’t worry — you’ll get in a groove. Love Erin’s tips {except the no looking/no talking bit; reminds me of a portlandia sketch}. Only thing I’d add is: take at least an hour in the late morning to wear that little person down! {e.g. swim lessons, playing “fetch” with your child as the dog, soccer, crazy tickle wrestle sword fight match}
My 18-mo. old daughter sleeps pretty well (knock on wood!) but, I’m entering hoping to win and gift this to my best friend. Her 2 year old goes down great at night, but calls to them between 2 and 5 am everyday expecting to move to the couch with one of them for the rest of the night. She naps great at daycare, but only naps on the couch with the tv on at home. Their daughter is an absolute sweetie and incredibly well behaved, but hasn’t responded well to sleep training. I feel so bad for the lack of sleep they all get and would LOVE to be able to help them out!
I pinned on Pinterest, too!
Our situation is similar to yours. Our 2-1/2 year old son goes to bed between 8:30 and 9:00, wakes up a little before 8am, and then takes a two hour nap at daycare. But we are admittedly inconsistent.
The bedtime routine, which isn’t really even as complicated as yours, has been taking over an hour. We put on jammies, sit on mommy’s bed to read two or three books, brush teeth, and then rock and sing in his room for a few minutes before putting him into bed. It seems like it should all take 20 minutes, but with all the running around, demanding of different books, refusal to brush, questions, demands for water, stories, multiple songs, etc, it takes forever! Then he still sits in bed singing and talking to himself for at least another 45 minutes. So in the end, it is often after 10pm before he is actually sleeping, he wakes up grumpy and demanding, and we are frazzled.
I’m five months pregnant, do bedtime by myself because of hubby’s work schedule, and am not sure how to sort this all out before the baby comes in July.
My 20 month old daughter FINALLY fell asleep at 1am last night (guess that would be this morning…) normally she falls asleep around 10 or so in our bed and I move her to her crib. She sleeps until 3am and then we have to get her and she will go back to sleep anywhere but her crib. I’ve been too tired since I had baby #2 to sleep train but now that she is 3 months old we really need to get Ari (20mo) sleeping! I had no idea kids went to sleep at 6 or 7!! Lol
I tweeted! Wish me luck!!
Also pinned… 🙂
Pinned!!
My five year old refuses to go to bed at night and is such a pain in the morning to wake up that it chronically makes us late. Kindergarten starts in the fall and I’m afraid if we don’t get this under control that she is not going to do well in school.
My 16 month old wakes up in the middle of the night and refuses to go back to sleep until I pick her up and sleep with her in the big bed (we have a queen sized bed in her room in addition to a crib). Our second baby is due in 11 weeks and I have no idea how I will manage the night feedings for #2 and getting #1 back to sleep!
Tweeted “I entered to win a full consultation with a child sleep specialist via @mommyshorts and @childsleephelp http://bit.ly/WMLV5c“
I’ll start by saying that we’re horrible parents. We often say that we don’t want to be the parents that live their lives around the kids’ schedules. But after reading these comments, I’m realizing how incredibly selfish that is. And yes, we suffer the consequences by having 2 cranky kids, one especially whiney and stubborn. Here’s our situation: have a 6yo daughter and 2.5 yo son. We’ve very aware of the fact that they don’t get enough sleep and I worry about it constantly. Husband, not so much. we’re horrible with routines. girl usually gets in bed as late as 9:30, rarely before 9pm. we were letting the boy either crash with us downstairs or i’d take him to bed after girl has gone to bed, meaning after 9:30 (gasp). He would cry when I’d try putting him in his crib so instead i’d bring him into my room and we’d fall asleep together. (EVEN BIGGER GASP) I think Erin needs to give us the training. my poor kids. For the past 2 days, we’ve been sending both kids up to bed at 8:30. girl is immediately in bed and falls asleep right away. and boy has been going to sleep in his crib. to my amazement, he only cries for a few minutes after he’s put in there and hubby gets him to quiet down immediately. don’t want to jinx, but he’s doing well so far. i’m expecting a change, but for now, he’s doing well. tonight, we will do baths at 8pm and get them in bed by 8:30. the problem is getting hubs to help with baths and bedtime when tv is on. he’ll start watching something and just doesn’t want to get up. maybe one of you can talk to HIM! it’s the one parenting thing that i stick to, he’s in charge of baths. otherwise, i get stuck doing EVERYTHING. but then that means that we’re all on his time. isn’t that terrible? (GASP) I know they should be getting to bed much earlier than that, but we get home from work at 6:30, start dinner around 7pm and eat around 8pm. how do we get them to bed earlier when we’re barely sitting down to eat at 8:00? Erin would have a field day with us and I would be terrified of the routine.
Pinned! I hope I win – we need help so much!
You think it’s hard to manage Mazzy’s schedule now? Wait until Harlow has her own nap/sleep schedule and you have to manage them both. You’ll never leave the house on weekends again!
My one year old is a terrible sleeper. My husband needs as much training as my son since he has no problems skipping naps on weekends or keeping him up late. I haven’t slept in over a year. God help me!
And I pinned as well!
We are doing pretty good on sleeping. But I need to know how to put the two boys into one room. I have a 20 month old and a 2 month old….
OMG – we need some sleep training. My son won’t sleep in his bed without one of us in there and if you sneak out in the middle of the night some how he knows and comes into our room and crawls into our bed! I am a CPA and it’s tax season – i would kill for some rest!
I’m not an ounce surprised that Mazzy needs 12 hours of sleep each night; our eight year old goes down around 8pm and if I let her wake on her own, she wakes at 8am. On school days, of course, I have to wake her at 7am, but on the weekends, she sleeps in, no problem. If Mazzy’s an early riser, that means an earlier bedtime…sorry! Trust me, though, that it’s really for the better.
I have to explain and re-explain to my husband that an hour matters in kidtime. That 8pm is bedtime – period – or Maddie (mine) wakes up almost drunkenly and needs a nap later in the day to “catch up”. If it’s a school or activity day, we’re pretty much screwed. But Daddy just LOVES his time with his little girl…at the expense of her mood and ability to pay attention the next day. It’s a learning experience for everyone, trust me, and you can fight this for years without seeming to gain headway in your schedule.
Keep your chin up and be persistent… Remember that being a good parent isn’t doing what’s easy; it’s doing what’s best for your kid. <3
I’m sure you’ve talked to your pediatrician about the night terrors, but, our oldest used to have them. We noticed he got them when he was exhausted, and our pediatrician taught us “sleep begets sleep”. They don’t know how to relax and fall asleep when they are exhausted the way adults do, they just act more wound up. So they never catch up. When we started being more strict on sleep routines for him it sorted itself out. Good luck. FYI, he was never a good sleeper as a baby. He had terrible excema and sensory disorders.
I’m a FB fan and our biggest issue is constant wake ups at 4am. I think based on your post we might be putting her to bed too late, which leads to not sleeping well. Also, I’d really like to stop having to sleep with her for the second half of the night. And stop rocking her to sleep. That’s the most annoying one.
Tweeted https://twitter.com/bybreenah/status/309756022644436994
Pinned http://pinterest.com/pin/190347521722988395/
Casey, THIS IS ME.
My 3.5 year old sacks out for 2-3 hours EVERY DAY AT DAYCARE. Which means homeslice isn’t tired at 7pm. Which means he is up until 9pm.
Which means I’m exhausted, I get zero time with my husband alone, & I’m pretty darn fed up wit the whole thing.
I even begged daycare to not let him nap & they said they couldn’t.
Erin – my 8 year old boy is the same way. I can’t wait until the day I don’t have to get him up any more before I go to bed! Most of the time he is sleepwalking in there.
Hi! Our son is 3.5 yrs old and rarely sleeps thru the night. In an effort to get more sleep ourselves I’ve put a 2nd bed in his room and my hsb and I take turns sleeping on it so we can manage the boy more quickly. Some of his issues may be physiological (starting eval process for allergies and adenoid/tonsil issues) but a lot of it is definitely behavioral and bad habits we’ve allowed to go on for far too long. I am tired. Also, I miss my own bed and the fella I used to share it with.
Pinned!
http://pinterest.com/pin/274438171015280370/
I cosleep with my little one, and I’m at a total loss over how to switch her to her own bed. On top of that, I’m trying to wean her, and if I can’t get her out of my bed (where she somehow snuggles up under my shirt during the night), I have no idea how that can happen. Help!
Tweeted it: https://twitter.com/RobynHTV/status/309763990035238912
Pinned it: http://pinterest.com/pin/123849058474948723/