It's Day Two of the Evil Baby Glare-Off and we are now down to just 16 babies. Sixteen babies who would eat their siblings if they got hungry in the middle of the night.
Most of the babies won by a considerable margin yesterday, but there were a few close calls. One of my favorites was edged out of the competition. Her name is Piper.
Piper's mom (@dangerlynn on Instagram) submitted about thirty pictures to the Glare-Off and it was hard to pick just one. Now that she's out of the running, I think everyone must see the full range of evil in Piper's arsenal.
I think she might be the only baby with a glare as consistently intense as Harlow's.
But Piper was ousted by Smith, who I've since found out, goes by the name "Grumpy Baby" online. Can he make it to the end? Well, he's got to beat out Quinn (aka "The Firestarter") first…
Today's giveaway is from Van Thomas Concepts and you can enter by helping me come up with more "Evil Baby Questions" in the comment section below.
Have you been paying attention to the questions? They are my favorite part…
Polls will close at 10pm EST tonight. Winners will advance to the quarter finals tomorrow.
May the evilest baby win!
GIVEAWAY
Today's giveaway is the complete Christine haircare line from Van Thomas Concepts— Shampoo, Reconstructive Conditioner, Body Wash and Protective Glaze (value $70). Christine uses a special formula of silk protein, keratin and jojoba oil to cleanse, condition and truly revitalize your hair.
I've been using Christine ever since they sent me a set this summer, and I can attest to it's revitalizing power. I mean, I agreed to do this giveaway on the condition that they had to send me more.
If your evil baby is going to get in your hair, shouldn't it at least look fantastic?
GIVEAWAY RULES:
You must be a Mommy Shorts Facebook Fan to enter. Then, help me come up with "evil baby questions" in the comment section below. My favorite answer wins. Plus, I'll be using some of your best responses tomorrow.
All giveaway winners will be announced on Monday November 4th, along with the winner of the glare-off.
GOOD LUCK!
You are missing the Benjamin vs Jason bracket!!!
Where is Benjamin?!
What? Wait. Where is Benjamin?…I’ve got him in my final four! 🙂
Which baby most likely dreams of knives and chainsaws?
Which baby gives Freddy Krueger nightmares?
I was about to say – no way did Benjamin lose! But he’s just missing
yes, ben is in my final four too! i went back just to make sure he wasn’t out!
Sorry- Jason and Benjamin are in there now!
Thanks! It’s fixed now.
Him and Jason are in there now!
It’s fixed! Sorry about that.
My bad- all good now.
awesome, although i did my vote wrong as i didn’t think about jason and ben being up against one another! oh well! it’s fun!
Which baby is Rosemary’s?
Whose siblings are afraid to go to sleep?
Which baby is more likely to have a stash of all the missing neighborhood pets?
Which baby’s head rotates when you try to feed them peas?
Which baby caused more screaming in the delivery room AFTER their birth than during it?
Which baby keeps souvenirs of the hair they pull out?
Which baby ate the dingo?
Which baby’s favorite toy is a pitchfork?
Which baby was born on 6/6 at 6?
Which baby can spin their head completely around?
Which baby laughs after pushing their “friend” off of the jungle gym?
Which baby has plans to get rid of their least favorite parent?
Which baby mounts the heads of stuffed animals on their wall?
Which baby is Chuck Norris afraid of?
Which baby will dip the others pacifier in sugar to make them smile and lose the competition?
Which baby can projectile vomit at will?
Which baby can say ” No ” and ” Why ” at one week?
Which baby vows to never – never – never poop in the potty?
Which baby’s first words are – ” I am not amused “.
Which baby’s face does Michael Myers wear as a Halloween mask?
Holy crap, Benjamin has got to be the favorite…
Which baby is the only name on Santa’s Naughty list?
Which baby likely ate their twin in utero?
Piper was in my final 4! Oh well! Those glares from her sure are consistently perturbed :). Still cute though. My evil question is: Which baby haunts Hannibal Lecter in his nightmares?
Which baby is best friends with Grumpy Cat?
Good one!
I love it! (Although I suspect the answer is Benjamin!)
I predict Benjamin takes this whole thing. That claw takes evil to a whole new level. he doesn’t just slash stroller tires, he slashes dreams to shreds.
Which baby’s glare makes Mommy cry it out?
Which baby sends Mommy for a time-out?
Which baby are you afraid to babysit?
Which baby used his own fontanelle as an ashtray? Which baby spells “chewtoy”, A-R-E-O-L-A? Which baby keeps your breast milk in a separate stomach compartment where it ferments into its own moonshine? Which baby is more likely to soulfeed than breastfeed? Which baby wants Fisher-Price’s My First Shiv for Hanukkah? Which baby’s first step is going to be towards anarchy?
Which baby will cut your hair when you’re awake?
Which baby was born with a tail and a pitchfork?
Which baby puts Legos on your bathroom floor in the middle of the night?
Which baby fills your DVR with all Caillou episodes?
Which baby’s first word was “REDRUM”?
Which baby only drinks milk from a flask?
Which baby makes al Qaeda look like a Mommy & Me group?
Who makes ‘The Omen’ look like a lullaby?
Oh yes I like this one!!!
That’s my rude dude Piper!! She gives me more evil glares in a day than I know what to do with! Thank you so much for the honorable mention, and good luck to the other evil babies!!
Which baby thinks Dante’s inferno is a fairy tale?
Which baby could be the bride of Chucky?
Which baby is most likely to become an evil dictator?
Which baby is plotting each night to become the future Lord and Master of Earth?
Which baby uses your Candy Crush turns just to mess with you?
Which baby scares Chucky?!
Which baby gave Chucky his scars?
Which baby stole Santa’s sleigh, then burned the toys?
Which baby’s first giggle was a maniacal laugh?
Which baby thinks mom’s breast is just another chunk of meat.
Which baby sleeps in their own bed? As in – three feet above the bed while chanting in Aramaic?
Who could make Hannibal Lecter become a vegetarian?
Finish the sentence: “All work and no play makes ____________ a dull baby”
Which baby is the reason Norman Bates still cries for his mother?
I love how consistent her glare is! That definitely ups her level of evil in my opinion, haha. What a silly kiddo!
Evan
Which baby is Chuck Norris afraid to take on?
Even ‘The Most Interesting Man in the World’ won’t hold this baby…
Which baby is ruler of all that is evil?
Which baby will only fall asleep to the dulcet sounds of Marilyn Manson?
Which baby should be the poster child for abstinence?
I could not agree more!
Love the least favorite parent one!
Nice one! I could so see this being one of the questions.
Which baby hid the red wine?
I can’t believe how close some of these are! I seriously think Eva should be in the top four! Along with Benjamin- my prediction as winner!
Final four prediction-
Benjamin
Sydney
Caroline
Eva
Benjamin HAS to win though- that is SO evil 🙂
Which baby levitates at nap time a la the exorcist?
I want sydney to win so badly it hurts. Her evil eyes are adorable
what baby for the rest of your life, would you never say the word NO to? (you wouldn’t dare)
I want EVAN to win so bad it hurts!! You know how hard it is to get a toddler to stand still for a photo!?
She’s adorable. Evan isn’t actually scowling – he just can’t wiggle his eyebrows up and down without tilting his whole head
Which baby is mostly likely to turn his daycare into “Lord of the Flies”?
Agreed!
hi-lar-i-ous !!!
Which baby IS the monster under the bed?
It’s going to come down to Emma and Benjamin. She is burning a hole in your brain with her eyes, and he is reaching out his claw to take YOUR SOUL!
Which baby has recorded a Death Metal CD?
She just appears to be disappointed in the entire world. We are NOT living up to her expectations! She makes me want to try harder!
Which baby spits in the holy water?
Which baby is most likely to view the entirety of HBO’s Dexter as a “How To” guide?
Excellent job, Kevin blah!
Off the top of my head…
Which baby poured motor oil into your morning coffee?
Which baby switched their sister’s cracker jacks for firecrackers?
Which baby orchestrated a prison-break style escape from their baby bjorn while their mother was wearing it without her noticing?
Which baby likes to jump rope with barbed wire?
Which baby poured a gallon of gasoline into the family fireplace?
very kind.
Can I be afraid (very afraid) of Kevin? WTG!!
My friend’s baby. 6/6/06 at 6:36.
Which baby has whatever men he meets running for vasectomies?
Which baby’s chilling rendition of “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” made grandma and grandpa move to Antarctica “for safety reasons”?
[…] Some people say that professional creative director Ilana Wiles makes life with kids look TOO good, but stick with her; she will win you over with contests like Most Epic Baby Hair, Celebrity/Baby Lookalikes and the notorious Baby Glare-Off. […]