After scouring over 2500 Healthy Mama headlines to find our top choices (including one that Healthy Mama is comfortable turning into the fourth ad in their print campaign), and then having numerous discussions to narrow them down to the final three, and then scouring them again to make sure we attached the headlines to the correct people who first wrote them, we finally have our winners.

The person who will win a $750 Visa gift card, a selection of Healthy Mama products ($100 value) and the chance to see her headline in print is… Megan Martin! She wrote the so-sad-it's-funny headline above, "We can't help your boobs find their way back to their original starting position, but we can help you deal with almost everything else."

We're going to find a different visual for the actual print ad— hopefully something with lopsided nipples pointing in different directions. I'm kidding. It will be a woman with post-breastfeeding boobs dragging on the ground like deflated balloons. I'm kidding. It will be very tasteful. I think.

In second place and the winner of a $100 Visa gift card, a selection of Healthy Mama products ($75 value) and a Diono RadianRXT Car Seat ($350) is… Sarah! She was the first person to write the line below:


In third place and the winner of a $50 Visa gift card and a selection of Healthy Mama products ($50 value) is… KissMyTulle! Her headline was one of my personal favorites, featured below:


In case you are new to this contest, Healthy Mama is a new line of over-the-counter remedies specifically designed for pregnant and nursing women. The products use the safest* ingredients to tackle common pregnancy symptoms like heartburn, lack of sleep, pain relief, nausea and constipation— but with fun names like "Tame the Flame", "Move it Along" and "Shake that Ache". You can learn more about them here.


Healthy Mama is backed by the American Pregnancy Association, FDA accepted and made in the USA. It's currently being sold at, Buy Buy Baby, and coming soon to

For the stuff Healthy Mama can't help you with (like unsolicited parenting advice from strangers, co-workers reheating seafood curry leftovers, and the annoyance of your husband's breathing), check out 30 of the Funniest Headlines About Pregnancy.

Trust me, it's worth it.

A big thanks to Healthy Mama for trusting me with their ad campaign and this contest. I told them I had some of the funniest smartest commenters around and that you guys would come up with something awesome. You proved me right over 2500 times. Healthy Mama now has enough material to continue this campaign for the next 10-20 years.

Thank you all for participating. Truly. I hope everyone is happy with the results!

If you'd like to know about the next Healthy Mama contest (possibly one to name their next product), follow Healthy Mama on facebook


This post was sponsored by healthy mama, but all of the thoughts and opinions are my own.

* No medication is considered 100% safe during pregnancy and nursing.