Two weeks ago, I talked about all the smart stuff my two-year-old says and asked you to submit the smart things your kids have said for the chance to win a $250 Target Gift Card and a stash of very Smart Cookies from Bitsy’s Brainfood.
Your responses were awesome examples of something I call “Little Kid Logic,” which is always surprisingly smart and impossible to argue.
Here are my favorite deep thoughts and wise words spouted from the mouths of toddlers, preschoolers, and kindergarteners (including a couple new ones from own kids).
1) Harlow on birth
2) Landon on his future:
MOM: What do you want to be when you grow up?
LANDON: I still want to be Landon.
3) Alison on Magic
ALISON: Can I have some crackers?
MOM: What’s the magic word?
ALISON: Abracadabra.
4) Jack (6yo) and Belle (4yo) on pet ownership
JACK: I’m saving up to buy a dog.
MOM: It’s not just about having money. Right now, Mom and Dad have told you that you may not have a dog.
BELLE: But when Mom and Dad get old and die…. THEN we can get a dog.
5) Ollie on weight control
6) Mason on milking a cold
MOM: Grandma is going to the store to buy you medicine. Is there anything else you want her to bring you?
MASON: Yeah! A bouncy house!
MOM: Um, she’s just going to the grocery store. They don’t have bouncy houses there.
MASON: Oh… Then nothing.
7) Addison on saving room for dessert
ADDISON: I’m full.
MOM: Okay, then no dessert.
ADDISON: My food stomach is full, but my dessert stomach is still hungry.
8) Mazzy on the value of paper
9) Morgan on self-identity
MOM: You are so silly.
MORGAN: I not silly. I Morgan.
10) Jackson on geography
JACKSON: Where is my mommy?
YAYA: She’s in Miami.
JACKSON: Where is your ami?
11) This kid on football
12) Lucille on out-smarting bedtime
DAD: You need to go to your bed.
LUCILLE: Why?
DAD: Because happy people sleep in their own beds.
LUCILLE: Where do sad people sleep?
13) Morgan on heating up Toaster Strudel
MOM: Does Daddy put this in the microwave or toaster to warm it up?
MORGAN: Well, it says TOASTER strudel, Mom, sooooo…
14) Emma on being benched
15) Caitie on her grandmothers (aka Nanna and Gigi)
MOM: Caitie, do you want a PB&J for lunch?
CAITIE: Yeah, Momma.
MOM: And a banana?
CAITIE: Or a ba-GIGI!
16) Ollie on bad behavior
MOM: See how nicely behaved those kids are over there?
OLLIE: They’re THEM, I’m ME.
17) Max and Lily on survival
18) Valerie on knowing your right from your left
MOM: You put your shoes on the wrong feet.
VALERIE: But these are the only feet I have!
19) Boy and Girl twins on gender
BOY: I am a boy because I have a penis.
MOM: That’s right. Now, what do you have that makes you a girl?
GIRL: Shoes!
20) Mary on cupcakes
21) Carolyn on temporary tattoos
DAD: What does your tattoo say?
CAROLYN: Dad! Tattoos can’t talk!
22) Emery on Baking Bread
MOM: This dough needs to sit for 30 minutes.
(after 30 minutes)
MOM: Okay, it’s been 30 minutes. The dough is ready to come out.
EMERY: Do you think he learned his lesson?
23) This kid on nap time
24) Camilla on God taking her dog Cricket
MOM: I wanted to tell you that Cricket died today. God came and took her to Heaven. Mommy is very sad but Cricket is in a better place.
CAMILLA: Is she in heaven now with great-grandma?
MOM: Yes.
CAMILLA: What does God look like mommy?
MOM: Well love, I am not sure. This is one of the mysteries of life.
CAMILLA: You mean you let him come in here and take our dog and you didn’t even look at his face?!?!
And the winner is…
25) MATTEO ON HIDING HIS BALL FROM DAD
MATTEO: I hope Daddy doesn’t use Google to find it!”
Congratulations, Matteo! You win a $250 Target Gift Card and a selection of products from Bitsy’s Brainfood!
Please contact annie@mommyshorts.com to claim your prize.
Bitsy’s Brainfood was started by two moms who believe learning to eat smart should be lots of fun for kids. Not only are their cookies shaped like the letters of the alphabet, they come in flavors like Zuchinni Gingerbread Carrot, Orange Chocolate Beet and Sweet Potato Oatmeal Raisin. They don’t believe in hiding their vegetable ingredients in the small print— they want kids to know their veggies, value their nutrients and be excited to eat them.
All Bitsy’s Brainfood products are organic, nut-free, whole grain and vitamin-packed. You can find them in the cookie aisle at Target. In addition to the regular bag, they also come in a pack of 16 single serve bags perfect for a healthy nut-free Halloween alternative.
If you don’t trust my endorsement, trust Harlow. Since we tried them for the first time a few weeks ago, she requests them almost daily and I love that I feel good about handing them over.
FYI, Zucchini Carrot Gingerbread are her personal favorite.
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This post was sponsored by Bitsy’s Brainfood, but all thoughts and opinions are my own.
Lol! I actually do a segment on my FB page called Conversations With Sofía about funny things my 4 yr old daughter says. Here are two of my recent faves.
Conversations with Sofía:
Me: “Next year you’re going to kindergarten. So exciting!”
Sofía: “Kindergarten? GARDEN? Am I gonna water some flowers there?”
Me: :::blank stare:::
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Conversations with Sofía:
While doing some spelling and reading exercises with Sofía, we encountered the word YOU.
Me: “The word YOU is spelled Y-O-U. Just 3 letters. It’s easy, right?”
Sofía: “No, mami. It’s NOT easy. This word YOU sounds like the letter U. Why this word YOU has so many letters? Why it’s not one letter? Why YOU is not spelled with U? This is ridicoolous!”
Me: ***facepalm***
HILARIOUS!!
“…my dessert stomach is still hungry.” That’s hilarious!
Here’s one from when my daughter was about three.
Mom: I’m losing it.
Daughter: What did you lose, Mommy?
Mom: My mind.
Daughter: Oh. What color is it?
[…] They’re all fun and worth reading. Tell us your favorite little kid logic quotes in the Comment section below. Read the full post: “25 Hilarious Examples of Little Kid Logic.” […]
One of my favorite radio programs just did a show about “Kid Logic:”
Stories of kids using perfectly logical arguments to arrive at perfectly wrong conclusions:
Kid Logic | This American Life – @ThisLife – http://j.mp/2i6rdiW
Here’s a cute little kid logic my son used at 5y:
Mom here’s crying coming from the bathroom where Jimmy is taking a shower. She rushed in…
Mom: Jimmy, what’s wrong, why are you crying?
Jimmy: I’ve tried and I’ve tried, but it won’t work!
Mom: What won’t work? What are you trying to do?
Jimmy: I’ve willed it and wished it as hard as I can and I still can’t do it! You said I could do anything I put my mind to, but I can’t do it!
Mom: Do what? What are you trying to do?
Jimmy: I’m trying to change! I’ve been trying for ages and I can’t. I finally decided it would work better if I was in the shower because it’s wet.
Mom (trying not to cry from sorrow or laugh at the humorousness): Oh! Uhm, what are you trying to change into then?
Jimmy (still crying): At first I wanted to change into a velacoraptor, but since I’m in the shower I thought an alligator might be easier, but it still isn’t working! I keep trying and willing as hard as I can but I can’t change! What am I doing wrong? What’s wrong with me?
…
And of course, Mom has to explain. I was so very honored though in learning my son trusted and believed in me so much he took my words this literally. I watched very carefully what I said and how it was worded after this.
[…] <Pun digression>Pregnancy Win:Good ultra-sound and not much* happening*except for continued growing…e.g., swimsuit size up againSize Butternut Squash x 6 (or other squash) x2 Hair Dryer Savoy Cabbage Brocolli Pineapple Gizmo Jug of Milk (~26cm and 1.2kg) 5 pounds combinedFrench BébésParisian parents groups (expats e.g., Message and locals)French parenting Care/support resources (e.g., au pairs, creches, …)Socialism (CAF)state-run crèches < assistante maternelle < garde partagée < crèche privée < garde simpleHalte-garderieA la carteKid Logic: #24 […]
When my little 3 year old cousin asked my auntie why is the newborn baby is not growing my auntie looked at her a nd said it takes time you were that little ounce,immediately she replied look at me I am a big girl and why is the baby still so so small.I just looked at her.