A few years ago, my sister told me that she couldn't imagine me having kids. Since I had always planned on having kids, I took offense. My sister backtracked and said that it wasn't that she couldn't imagine me having kids, it was just that she couldn't imagine what kind of mother I would be. (I guess that's better…?) Later that day, she called to say, "I figured it out. You are going to be the mom that throws the best birthday parties!" And I said, "You are totally right! I SO AM! "

And now here we are.

OH, THE PRESSURE!!!

Mazzy's first birthday is on the 9th. And due to certain circumstances mixed with general laziness and complete exhaustion, I have yet to do anything to plan for her party besides set the date. Which is Sunday. People will be coming. But as far as party decor or any form of entertainment, that all still remains very much a mystery.

Below is the party decor that exists in my head. Pretty, isn't it? But this decor requires that my world revolve around a stark white background. And that peonies are in season. And that I have a willingness to wander the streets of Manhattan on an IZZE sparkling juice and French pink macaroon expedition despite having to work the lionshare of the weekend. And am I really the kind of mom that has a birthday party for a baby that is THIS art directed? Or THIS pink?? Probably not.

My mom was the kind of mom that threw completely original and creative birthday parties for us every year. She did things like arrange elaborate games of "Friendly" Feud in our basement. Complete with large signs hanging behind each team, ridiculous questions and my dad as Richard Dawson. Another time she staged a murder mystery. I remember the name of the girl that was ultimately labeled "the murderer" but have no idea how or why the poor thing was chosen to take the fall. And then there was the homemade puppet show she put on for my sister's 2nd birthday. You do not know hilarity until you witness Bert from Sesame Street interacting with Miss Piggy. Trust me. Year after year, my mom came up with talent shows, craft projects, chocolate making extravaganzas until inevitably I screamed, "I'm a grown-up now—I WANT MY PARTY AT LACES!" (That was the local roller skating rink. When you were eight, it was the coolest place on earth to have a party until you were mature enough to celebrate your birthday in the most sophisticated of eating establishments— Benihana's).

So thank you Mom for being THAT kind of mom. But now I'm curious— how the hell did you find the time and energy to put all of that creativity together??

A few weekends ago I went to a party for a three-year-old. This party consisted of bubble machines, princess costumes, a magician and an inflatable rooftop castle. No joke, this party really existed. Now THAT mom throws the best birthday parties.

So maybe I'm not the mom that throws THE BEST BIRTHDAY PARTIES, or THE MOST CREATIVE PARTIES or even THE BEST ART DIRECTED PARTIES, but I'm hoping that maybe I am the kind of mom that knows that once you put a one-year-old in front of her first birthday cake, she's not really gonna care about much else.

Throw some assorted snacks on the table, artfully scatter some toys, cue a pre-arranged playlist and call it a day.

When they give out the awards for best birthday parties, I want to be the mom that wins MOST EFFORTLESSLY FABULOUS.