To the left is a picture of Tina Fey who is obviously the only mother on earth who CAN do it all. It was either that or a stock picture of a woman unsuccessfully juggling a briefcase, a grocery bag and a baby. I chose IRONY. Anyway…
I had a post all planned to write this evening. Something about babies and the Oscars. It was going to be HILARIOUS. But it will have to wait. Because today is the day that this whole blogging/working/mothering thing came to an ugly head.
I'm actually in Utah right now. On what was supposed to be a ski vacation with my husband's family. I haven't mentioned it yet because life moves faster than I am able to write about it.
Another reason I haven't mentioned it is because I came extremely close to sitting the trip out due to a freelance project. But at the last moment, I decided that what I can do from home, I can do from Utah.
Which is true.
When you don't factor in the "missing out on all the fun" part.
Even so, it was all going pretty smoothly. My clients are a pleasure to work with and our cousin Robyn (Saint Robyn as we will now call her) doesn't ski and agreed to watch Mazzy during the day. So I've been working most days while everyone else skis and then working at night while everybody else drinks beer in the hot tub and watches movies and eats ice cream and makes fun of me because they know I have no time to defend myself.
All fine and par for the course.
Until today.
Today, besides the fact that I realized February ends on the 28th meaning everything that is due on the 1st has three days less to get done than I thought (please slap your palm on your forehead in my honor), I was also plagued with numerous computer problems.
Crashing. Freezing. Unexplained uploading glitches.
But by far and away, the WORST problem is that the only outlet willing to acknowledge my laptop charger appears to be the one by the kitchen table. This makes things difficult because (as I've previously mentioned) Mazzy believes that the computer exists for the sole purpose of showing her videos of her herself. If not obliged, she goes beserk. So I've been working upstairs in my room with the door shut until the laptop dies and then coming downstairs to work/recharge at the kitchen table while Mazzy whines at my leg and Saint Robyn does her best to pull her away.
Let's just say, ignoring the baby feels a lot better when she cannot see me.
And then to top it off, I had to do a conference call at the exact moment that my husband was putting Mazzy to bed. The fact that Mazzy is not used to her dad putting her to bed combined with the fact that she received absolutely zero attention from mommy today made bedtime quite the tantrum-esque affair.
Not that I was present for the tantrum. I was just hearing her wail her head off through the wall as I tried my best to concentrate on the call.
Inbetween underlining revisions and circling deadlines, I kept thinking that if she was still crying by the time I got off, then I would have no choice but to go in and comfort her. But when I got off the phone, almost to my disappointment, she had already begun to settle down.
So you know what I did? Just to solidify my standing as a horrible mom?
I went in and scooped her up anyway.
If she had started to cry again or begged to be let out of the room, I think I would have lost it. Her further discomfort would have been entirely my own doing. But luckily, she melted right into my shoulder as I sang her to sleep.
In that moment, I am aware, I needed her more than she needed me.
And now I'm blogging about it because I needed a break from work and writing about the Oscars wasn't gonna cut it as a stress reliever.
Plus, everybody else went out to dinner.
If I wasn't trying to wean myself off of emoticons, there would be a frownie face at the end of that last sentence.
It’s so hard to try and figure out how to get it all done–and freelancing stops for no parent (the years with my husband have proven that to me).
I’m sorry you’re having such a stressful time of it. I’ll tell you what I tell my husband–just make it through these deadlines and then you can breath easy again. Until then, well, thank goodness for snuggles from little ones.
I am extremely, extremely impressed by your decision to go to Utah! Your travails sent such a chill down mine spine. To me, there’s nothing lonelier than an empty ski house while you are stuck at home. Usually, I’m stuck with the baby, not a freelance project. I seriously can’t imagine how you are surviving this. You must really love your inlaws! I want a Robyn! Good luck and you are a great mom.
🙁
(I have also vowed off emoticons, but I broke my vow, just for you)
Thank you for this. I thought scheduling around my full-time job was difficult. But it’s so much harder to turn down things when you don’t know when the next opportunity will come along. I’m hoping that after I’m at this for a while longer that I can relax and set my own pace a bit more. But I’ve always been a workaholic so now that I am on my own, I’m sure I will be no different.
Ahhh, I know this feeling well. Except for the whole ski trip thing because my sister almost broke her leg on the bunny hill one time and had to be rescued by the patrol guys. We still laugh at her, but have collectively agreed to avoid the situation.
We just started a Mommy’s Day Out program so that I could get some work done a few days a week. It’s pretty fantastic! Major props for going on the trip! Try to have just a little bit of fun while you are there!!!
Robyn has been fantastic. If she hadn’t agreed to watch Mazzy, I never could have gone. And then my husband would have had to decide whether to go without me which would have sucked any way you look at it. So I think I made the right decision. And so far, I have gotten in one day of excellent skiing. Thanks for the support!
🙂
The only thing about this post that doesnt make me sad is the thing about the emoticons. You know how I feel about emoticons. I’m really sorry. But no matter how shitty you feel right now, you’re still a rock star to me.
Trying! And the image of patrol guys rescuing your sister from a slope that is basically flat and probably about 50 ft. long IS pretty funny. Minus the weeks of a mending leg and all.
My emoticon diet is almost entirely to do with you. Thank you for making me reflect on my butchering of punctuation.
I don’t even have kids, and some days, I can’t get all of the freelancing and blogging and tooth brushing right. You’re a super hero and I’m impressed!
I think you’ve just made a very strong case for never working on vacation again. In fact it doesn’t even feel like a vacation does it? You might get more work done staying at home.
I feel for you, I’ve had similar situations and my 17 month old also thinks the computer is her personal video player. Good luck!
Hey there! Great blog–saw you on SITS. Love the pic you posted!
I feel all your pain. I am doing 6 separate free-lance gigs right now and so much is not happening in my life that should be. Things are slipping, kids are upset. Working from home is so hard. SO, so hard.
I’ve told this exact same story. Only it was at a beach. And I was copywriting not graphic designing. But close enough. Either way, not fun. But something to make it a little better — booking a spa appointment for when you get back.
I have totally done that same thing with my little one- amazing how their needing us can fulfill our needs sometimes, isn’t it?
Just dropping in from SITS
~Heather
Toothbrushing! That’s what I forgot to do today!
“My Vacation” is definitely the biggest loser in this equation. Mazzy is probably much more content than I imagine.
Thanks for the visit!
I work harder now than I ever did when I had a full-time job. How is that possible? At least at the full-time job there were lags and downtime. All of which, I was still getting PAID. Now, not so much.
At least people don’t expect me to return with a tan. Than I’d really be in trouble.
I really do need a massage and a pedicure…
Totally. I sneak into her room all the time just to watch her sleep for a moment. This is the first time I actually woke her up though. But it worked.
No wonder you dont have time for me 🙂
You are such an inspiration Ilana, I can’t wait to see Mazzy soon and hope you get some rest in btween yeas? and also, YES working from home is HARD, HARD , HARD.
Love u and miss u.
xxx
I will see if I get lucky after next week then.