Dr. B took a sick day (I hope she realizes she's only got one left) but that's fine because I've got two other things to keep you occupied.
1) Alison, the very funny blogger at Mama Wants This grilled me yesterday for her Guest Star Series. She even challenged me to caption a picture involving a baby bottle, a handgun and a some sort of stuffed animal devil. Disturbing stuff. But Alison is from Malaysia so who the hell knows what passes for normal there. Check out the interview here.
2) I need to ask you all to settle something between my husband and me.
Last weekend, I left Mike alone with Mazzy for less than 24 hours. During that time, Mike took her to a Kentucky Derby Party at a friend's house. He even had me pick out a dress and hat for her before I left. Adorable, right?
Yeah, I thought so too.
Until he showed me a rather disturbing video from the party. More disturbing than a stuffed animal devil with a baby bottle and a handgun, you ask? MOST DEFINITELY.
WARNING: The video below shows extreme violence that may not be appropriate for young children, people with pace makers, or moms who are about to leave their kids in the supposedly "capable" hands of their fathers. I would also like to say that I have NEVER EVER witnessed Mazzy behaving remotely like this in my presence.
That's Sophia (5yo), Madeline (4yo) and Lucy (2.5yo) getting trounced by my one-year-old. Shocking, right? I know it looks like l edited the footage to appear worse than it actually was but in all seriousness, it was edited to look far less incriminating for all parties involved. The raw video with sound and at actual speed (it goes on for quite some time) was much harder for me to watch. Especially knowing that the answer to the "Where is Dad?" question was obviously— behind the camera.
THE DEBATE
Me: You should have intervened and broken up the kids.
Mike: Nobody was upset, hurt or in danger. They were playing. The girls were egging Mazzy on and she was having fun.
Me: I see that everyone was enjoying themselves, but by not intervening, you are teaching Mazzy that hitting is OK.
Mike: She's tough. It's a good thing. Did you see the "Scare the Bear" move at :42 seconds in?
Me: What the hell is the "Scare the Bear" move?
Mike: If you ever encounter a bear, you're supposed to raise your arms above your head so you appear as large as possible. Baby's got instincts.
Me: Great. Now we can leave her alone in the woods. I feel so much better.
Seriously— What do you all think? Should Mike ever be trusted with the child again? Or am I being ridiculous?
He should spend as much time alone with Mazzy as possible. So you can catch up on napping, blogging and pruning. In the future however, may I suggest he doesn’t take videos. What you don’t know doesn’t hurt.
Also the bear technic is not the best for NYC streets. Makes it easier to get mugged.
Don’t worry. Let Mazzy spend time with her Daddy. Toddlers sometimes roughhouse, and he was right- as long as everyone was having fun, and no one was getting hurt, there’s nothing to worry about. Mazzy won’t turn into a thug. Now, if someone was getting hurt, or was unhappy about the play, that would have been a different story. Maybe ask him not to record next time- then you won’t have to watch, and can worry less. “What goes on when Daddy is in charge…”
This looks very similar to my toddler even when I am around. And those girls did keep coming back to Mazzy. It seems they were all having fun.
I agree with Stasha! And get her into martial arts, quick. Or junior park ranger school. 🙂
May I direct you to a picture of your daughter doing a Karate Kid pose on a photoshopped Karate Baby Poster… Enough said. Keep Mazzy tough. Kids are too soft these days. “Scare the Bear move at :42 seconds in” = Hilarious.
Ah don’t worry. They were all smiling and generally having a good time. No blood or tears were shed, I call it a good day. Wait til you have a boy, you won’t be able to watch half the shit they get up to (ok that so didn’t help did it?)
As an aside, cute dress Mazzy.
Oh, and we Malaysians are awesome and weird and funny. You guys should totally come visit. We’ll even throw you a party.
It looks like she is winning, so I would just let it be. Also, he should take her out more.
Dads never do things the same way moms do. I have learned to live with it, to get some peace. Its the only way for me!
Or close my eyes and pray!
It’s pretty funny that he proudly showed you Mazzy kicking ass though. She will be able to stand up for herself!
“Me: Great. Now we can leave her alone in the woods. I feel so much better.”
Dying. Dead.
Also, you broke the first and second rule of Fight Club with this post.
I think it’s about time to make Mazzy a sparring partner (preferably a boy) so all UFC training can be under the supervision of mom in the privacy of your own home.
Those other girls were obviously asking for it. Which, as we may know, is a perfectly reasonable excuse when you’re 12 and in the principal’s office for fighting. In other words, you may have just witnessed a glimpse into your future. Or not. Kids like to playfight. Mine do, anyway. Constantly.
First rule of Fight Club: DO NOT TALK ABOUT FIGHT CLUB!
BTW, was that a band-aid on her forehead? Had she already gotten into a previous brawl? Your baby’s a badass.
First of all, this may be the funniest kid video I’ve ever seen.
Second, I’m torn. I see Mike’s point that no one was getting hurt, and what I’ve learned from having 3yo twins and a 1yo is that if no one is getting hurt and everyone is smiling….leave it be! But I do discourage hitting or throwing.
Scare the bear. Snort!
LOL!! I would not worry about it. This was a game to all kids involved from the looks of it. I agree with a previous commenter, if someone got hurt or was getting too rough then a parent needs to step in.
Love how you edited though, especially the end all slow motion. Cried laughing 🙂
She is totally badass. My 3 year old cries when tiny babies yank away her shovels in the sandbox. They were playing: I wouldn’t sweat it.
Hilarious!
When my son was just barely two, my husband took him to New York for my father-in-law’s 60th birthday party.
I stayed back in California with our newborn daughter.
They were gone for four days which was hard for me, but I figured, “He’s his FATHER. How bad could it be?”
Bill told me everything was fine. Jack was fine. We are all. just. fine.
When he got home and I saw the video from the party, I said, “Ummmm……why was Jack wearing only a diaper? In the winter. In New York?”
“He was fine.”
According to my sister-in-law, Jack spent most of the trip naked. He didn’t eat much or sleep.
Naturally.
So never again will my children vacation without me.
Not until they’re 18.
All excellent points. Although, if Mike hadn’t made the video then what we have to show proudly to his friends?
Can’t wait to catch up on pruning!
Now we know who the real bully is. Ella has been warned!
The visual evidence is definitely not doing him any favors. Roughhousing is new to me. I was the least aggressive child on earth.
If the sound were on, you would hear that while the girls were egging her on, they also kept pointing and saying no. I guess someone had to assert some discipline!
Is bear fighter an official job? How young can one apply? How good do you think it will look on a college application?
I would love to party in Malaysia. Especially if you bring your handgun.
Thanks for having me!
To his credit, he’s been spending a lot of one on one time with her recently. This is just the first time I’ve seen how they spend it.
I am more horrified that Mike didn’t take her shoes off as she walked all over that really nice piece of furniture. Kids heal, but gray velvet? Those scars would be forever.
Not just me. He has shown EVERYBODY. Proudest father-daughter moment so far I think.
That was fantastic. She was having a ball. They all were. Don’t worry.
Crap! I did break the rules! What happens now? Do I have to get beat up by Brad Pitt or something? Cause… I might enjoy that…
The UFC sounds like a perfectly reasonable forum for a 17mo girl. Those matches are caged, right? It’s basically a big play pen! Who needs supervision?
I’m not sure about Sophie or Madeline but that Lucy is definitely TROUBLE.
That would be a barrette. It was either there as a result of the brouhaha or because Daddy did her hair that morning.
If I was there, I definitely would have broken it up. But she does look like she is having a good time. And learning valuable life lessons in bear confrontation.
Slo-mo was a last minute addition. Made the whole damn thing.
Mazzy is fearless— there is no doubt about it. I have witnessed kids hitting her or ganging up on her and she doesn’t back down an inch. But this is the first time I’ve seen her do the hitting.
She’s like a little dog who barks at the big dogs because she has no idea she is little.
I rarely laugh out loud at kid videos, but I must say, I lost it around :51 when Mazzy slow-mo clotheslines that kid. Pure awesomeness.
That being said, you have/had every right to give Mike a talking to. But I do agree with the other person who said that dads do things their own way, and I think it’s a balance of mom-style and dad-style that makes kids great. So don’t worry, she will learn that hitting is bad from mom, and that sometimes a beatdown is in order, from dad.
I always try to teach Mango to use her inside voice and then Luke will come running in and go, “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” and she’ll die laughing, and secretly so will I.
Don’t you know? Putting clothes on is hard! Feeding is hard! Just be glad there was a diaper involved and he wasn’t pissing directly on the floor.
MEN.
Yeah— you better tell her to watch out! We’ve been practicing with a punching bag with Ella’s picture on it.
Hey— as long as it isn’t MY couch, who really cares— am I RIGHT?
It looks to me like more rough-housing and playing than something to genuniely worry about, my toddler and eldest always tumble about with great giggles … the only part I would object to (well, the second part after the why-is-she-on-a-couch-she-could-easily-fall-off-of-why-not-wrestle-on-the-ground) would be that IF the other girls clearly said “No” then Mazzy to learns to Respect the Words. Otherwise the laughs/actions were obviously telling her “Yes” in which case, it is cute. Now (since both you and your husband clearly state have never seen this behaviour before) I would be grilling him on how much sugar she was hyped up on. Ahem.
As part owner of the wrestling mat/couch , I did not actually witness the kiddie brawl (back turned during kitchen duty) but i did have Mike look at me, hair disheveled high, asking “Did you see what just happened?!?” in complete disbelief. Although there was that slight smirk of pride when he noted how well Mazzy held her own… 🙂
I have to admit, I watched the video twice. I couldn’t resist it. My hubby has taken videos of our daughter that’s similar to this and while I would laugh, it also made me ask him what the hell was he thinking? She’s 2 & I would rather not know what he lets her get away with. I still speak up but since he doesn’t listen, for me it’s denial and wine. Love the song choice.
Isn’t it amazing what dads will let them get away with? If this is what your husband lets her do, I’m scared to see what my husband does with Harlan when I leave them for a few moments of sanity. I must admit though, the video did make me laugh and she did look cute doing the bear move.
I have to say, I’m most impressed the pacifier doesn’t even slip from her mouth. It’s just like in “The Fighter,” when Mark Wahlberg’s mother has an entire conversation without even removing the cigarette tucked into the corner of her mouth.
Sure, this is cuter than that. But on the scary scale, it’s really kind of a draw.
I’d be more worried about the girls that keep going back for more.
But yeah, I have to confess, I would be slightly upset b/c of the reason you brought up about teaching that hitting is okay. Wee ‘Burb loves to poke Daddy’s eyes and he thinks it’s hilarious but I put the kibosh on it because I just envision everything coming back from daycare. “Um, Stephanie, we’ve noticed that your daughter has been trying to poke kids’ eyes out.” Awkward.
Part of this kind of play, and it’ll become more apparent with age, is that kids learn about boundaries of rough play. Sometimes there are ouchies but when they’re this small, it’s easy enough to shake/cry off and learn not to do it again.
It’s understandable that you would be concerned, but it looks like they were having fun. My favorite part is that it looks like she managed to keep her pacifier in the majority of the time. Kid’s got skillz.
This is hysterical. I probably would have broken it up….although the whole event is definitely good for comic relief. And I suppose you could use the footage one day with Mazzy to talk about it not being ok to hit- one day, in the future, when she is able to reason.
As a former toddler bully myself, I would like to attest to the fact that we often grow up and turn out just fine.
Then again, I win baby photo caption contests by using Silence of the Lambs quotes.
……….
Maybe Mike should have a supervisor present…..
As we know, I have no parenting skills. But I do know good comedy when I read it and that was some fine entertainment. What’s particularly disturbing is that he afforded you multiple camera angles for this cage match to end all cage matches. Thank heavens the next time you run into a bear in Soho though, she’ll be able to do something about it. You know what it’s like down there during a sample sale…
Ugh, allow me to digress from my normal smart-ass, sarcastic, who the hell cares mask for a bit and issue a loud-as-can-be, “WTF” for a moment!!! Kudos, Mike on being the fun guy at the party with the hysterical princess able to leap tall buildings and bitch slap all the other toddlers into oblivion. But in all honesty, you will rue the day you laughed (she says with a less-than-satisfactory smirk, as she thinks back to the days when princess Analeigh was truly a peanut-head with the cutest voice ever). Fast forward to present-day San Clemente, CA. Princess Analeigh literally rolled on the floor in hysterics today as the 2-year old chameleon warned me of the impending fury she was about to inflict. “I’m gonna hit you, HIT, HIT, HIT!” She proceeded to give me a pint-sized smack down, all the while screaming, “I’m a fairy princess.” Two.years.old. May God be with you, crazy kids. Mike, nothin’ but love for ya. Ilana, nothing but prayers for ya!
That was brilliant. BRILLIANT, I tell you. This needs to go viral and then win awards and shit.
But if it was my kid? Totally would have broken it up. Of course I would have. Setting precedents like that one? Makes me nervous.
I think Mazzy is getting a Napoleon complex. She does kick ass though.
this is awesome. my little guy (almost two) is a total fighter. i’m gonna make sure he adds “scare the bear” to his repertoire. maybe your husband would like to manage his fighting career too?
a tad disturbing but I see that the other girls were completely part of the mayhem. Something about making a toddler spastic excites older kids; I see it everyday when my kids irritate and provoke my niece.
The girl’s got moves!
What is the matter with you people? FUN?
I am now an adult and mother. There is nothing fun about sibling abuse. It is under reported for years. It exisits because parents don’t get involved , let the kids sort it out, or it is deemed “fun”.
If you teach them young how to deal with conflict and their emotions without physical aggression and emotional abuse. You get the gold star and can sit back and “let them solve it later for themselevs”. They need the skills first. Your job is to teach it and intervene when necessary.
AN Excuse to justify your own limitations and lack of boundaries. It hurts and your child will (hopefully) “wake up” to the family dynamics when they are an adult, one day raising their own kids. It may not be CPS worthy but do not fluff it off as fun. IT is called dysfunctional family Dynamics.
They then go to school and friends with their “distorted” views it is a hard lesson to not get invited to the party or no playdates all the while Mom and Dad don’t get it. Why is their child not invited anymore? Not every family sees this as fun nor wants this “fun” dynamic added to the home they work hard to cultivate a peaceful home.
Ask in several years the children the same question. As the “play” fights and simple “fun” esclates into something more. I suggest you read up on dysfunctional family dynamics. YOu are creating / supporting a dynamic that will not be easily reversed that will carry on into adulthood and future generations. They are too “young” for you to see this now. May you figure it out before it gets worse. And yes I have strong feelings about this-I was the youngest and it was not FUN!
But go ahead enjoy and disillusion yourselves. Oh and continue to try to get the employees fired etc in the school district who attempt to right your wrong. In the olden days at least my parents had us keep what was at hone at home. Parents today feel their kids have the right to bring their dysfunction to school and have others deal with it. ANd when we do-you want our head on a platter for your lack of boundaries and limitations!
I think the video looks like the kids where having fun. No one was crying or hurt. It does appear that the older ones where wanting her to keep going. On the other side an adult at the party should have stepped in and stopped it. People make mistakes, but to call you a bad mother is ridiculous.
Looks like fun, and Mazzy has a future in the WWE!
It does look like the kids were having, but kids think other behavior is fun that would not be acceptable to an adult. If this were my husband, I would be furious.
My nephews were never told no. My nephews would constantly jump on me, kick me, bite me, etc. (I am only 7 years older) Their parents thought it was funny and would tell me to stop being such a baby. Now they have a lot of behavioral problems.
You can’t teach a child that it’s okay to do something and expect them to grow up and change what they’ve learned, without a lot of help and possible intervention.
I believe you have every right to be mad. I’m sure some people will think that I’m taking it too seriously, but it is. Kids only learn things once. I also realize that this is from a couple years ago..but you know! =)
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Your one-year old is trying to get away away from the bigger kids as they’re in her space after she’s had enough and they won’t let her – don’t find it funny. Someone should have stepped in. Rough housing is all well and good – my two do, but as a parent you have to use your judgement to step in.
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