There were 82 people vying for the position of the newest Caption Contest Queen. (Read all the entries here.) But sadly, there can only be one winner. Lori from In Pursuit Of It All poured through the entries and made her ruling. She even went above and beyond and helped picked the runner-ups. The Queen's reputation needs to be upheld after all.
Without further ado, the new Caption Contest Queen (and the winner of a $50 Shop At Home gift card) is… Poppy from Funny or Snot!
She wrote:
"I cut a bitch to get in and I will cut a bitch to get out!"
Congratulations, Poppy! You may have to physically yank the crown off Lori's head, but when you do— it is all yours.
HONORABLE MENTIONS
"Best Hommage to Homicidal Tramps" goes to New Mom on the Blog who wrote:
"He had it coming. He had it coming. He only had himself to blaaaaame."
"Best New Addition to Your Baby Registry" goes to Melanie who wrote:
"The baby cage has been a godsend. I don't know how we would go on vacation without it!"
"Best Wannabe Museum Curator" goes to Whiskey L'Amour who wrote:
"…and on your left, you'll see the exhibit titled 'Birth Control For Childless Friends: Pills One and Two.' To your right, you'll see Monster's cage, titled, 'Why Mommy Drinks Rosé at Breakfast.'"
"Best Braveheart Reference" goes to Christy who wrote:
"…tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take… OUR FREEDOM!"
"Best Ode to Pampers" goes to Dusty Earth Mother who wrote:
"I knew prison would be rough, but I thought there would at least be a toilet."
And finally, "Best Blatant Pandering Attempt" goes to Sara from Periwinkle Papillon who wrote:
"WE WANT OUR RED UNDERWEAR!"
For those of you who don't understand that last one, read this amazing piece from Lori that she just had the honor of reading at BlogHer's Voices of the Year.
Thank you to Natalie from Mommy of a Monster & Twins for providing this picture so we could make fun of her children and judge her parenting methods.
As for Poppy, put on your prettiest dress for the crowning ceremony and stick a shiv in your purse to deal with Lori. Maybe they sell shivs at Shop At Home.
The crown is yours until I call on you to judge the next one. Be ready!
Congratulations Poppy, that was an awesome caption!
Always a wet nurse…
Congrats Poppy! I also really loved the Chicago number. So what does the best Pandering Attempt Crown look like?
That was a great caption!
These are all hilarious!
Wow. A tough field to choose from. Congrats to the new queen!
Very funny! Can’t wait for the next contest!
I want Poppy to be my new babysitter.
For reals.
I made the Honorable Mentions! I’m so delighted. Of course, that emotion is being squeezed out by my fear of Poppy.