That's 18 month-old Landon popping a squat next to his dog Jack Sparrow. If you'd like to know why the dog is named Jack Sparrow, you'll have to ask Brandy from Mannlymama. Both boys belong to her.
You'll also have to ask Brandy how often she has to clean that white carpet with both a toddler and a dog in the house. And more importantly, how someone whips out a camera at the exact moment all hell is about to break loose.
So what's going on here? Is Brandy really bad at potty training? Is Landon making a statement about Pirates of the Caribbean III? You tell me in the comment section below.
Captions will be judged by our current Caption Contest Queen— Poppy from Funny or Snot. The new Queen will win the supreme honor of judging the next caption contest as well as an all expense paid trip to the crowning ceremony which exists solely in my head. It will be in Paris and Johnny Depp will be in attendance so I suggest brushing up on your "21 Jump Street" trivia and bringing a VHS copy of "Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare" for an autograph.
Good luck!
OK, Jack, light the match NOW!!!
Stand back Jack, I’m about to blow and it ain’t gonna be pretty for mom.
“Right back atcha.”
That kid is on to something…..
Get closer, Jack, I need to go NOW!!
Can captions be sung?
I’m kinda buzzed and it’s all because
(This is how we do it)
South Central does it like nobody does
(This is how we do it.)
“Ruh roh.”
Thar he blows!
BOOYAHHH!
Tonight on Hot 97, Fartmaster Flex is blowin’ outta the rear while LL Cool Jack drops it looooooow for the ladies….
I even think about doing that and I’m out of here. That punk does it and he’s cute. FML.
How’s that? I totally suck at this caption thingy.
It’s worth it, this will undoubtedly get him shipped back to the pound. *breathe through your mouth, Jack, breath through your mouth*
Smells like breastmilk and ass…dude!
“Allow me to introduce myself…”
Dude. Even *I* know you’re not supposed to go there.
Or, for the grossies out there:
Hurry up! I could use a snack.
Hey Jack, remember when you snuck into my room and left me a lil’ present? Well payback’s a bitch!
Oh please. I pooped there three times before you even woke up this morning. Amateur.
Jack: I wouldn’t do that kid. They’re going to rub your nose in it!
No, seriously. You’re so good at this? Get in there and tell me: Am I a boy or a girl?
“Now if you’d just worn the saddle like I ASKED you, I could be a proper cowboy and wouldn’t have to look like a lame-ass on my ‘air-horse.’ I tell ya, we are NOT gonna get any chicks this way.”
Be honest Jack…do I look fat in these track pants?
You think your insides smell bad???? Get a load of this….
See, Jack. Just like Mommy in those pictures from Spring Break. Now maybe she’ll remember: NO HORIZONTAL STRIPES!
Landon has studied Jack for days, wondering how that damn dog licks his own balls so easily. He thinks squatting just.a.bit. more may do it!
Hey Jack, Mom won’t buy wet wipes anymore. Can you help a brotha out?
Jack: I just know I’m gonna blamed for this.
correction
Jack: I just know I’m gonna get blamed for this.
Landon: Dad blames it on the dog, why can’t I?
lol! Good one 🙂
TAKE THAT, UNDERWEAR!
How’s a bitch supposed to get a tan when your ass is blocking my sun???
Landon, you need to take that outside. There are no papers there.
“This is for all those times you farted in my face!”
I want to amend:
Landon, Dude, you need to take that outside. There are no papers here.
I’m sure the “Dude” makes it that much better. Ha ha.
But Mooooommmmm! Jack Sparrow said this is the poop deck!
Looks like someone is about to board the poop deck
“I Fart In Your General Direction!”
Oh? you want to know what your breath smells like? Well then, here you are…
So, Jack, watch this milk shake bring all the girls to the yard.
*Jack* What’s that smell??
I bet I’Ll get the blame for this………..
So how do you drag your ass on the carpet Jack?
I bet u my black pearl is bigger tan yours!
Is this how you do it Jack Sparrow? Do I squat like this?
Kibbles N’ (baby) Bits!
Release the Kraken!
Ha Landon’s falling for it again, just a little bit more and he will notice ive stolen the chair….they don’t call me jack sparrow for nothing!!!
Jack : NO NO NO all 4’s then poop
Humans are so dense. It only took me two weeks to get house-trained.
“This will teach you to steal a brother’s goldfish”
Best one so far!
Looks like he’s about to lift some weights. And Jack Sparrow is doing a shit job of spotting him.
That was a good one, Jack, but check out this (Pfffffffttthh) one…
Stop it! Only I’m allowed to shit on the floor!
Landon’s perfect dismount scores him a Gold Medal for the Pommel-Dog competition!
Ready….Aim…..Fire!!!!!!
If you S*it in my sand box ONE MORE TIME!!!!
Jack ~ I said RUM… Not BUM!
Favorite thus far. We have been wanting to get Jack a saddle 🙂
Shhhhhhhhhhh…..listen…listen, get you some of that!
Release the Kraken!!
AGAIN?? REALLY??
You’re getting better, son. But you might want lose the trousers when it happens….
“And this is how you do a posh wee.”
(Admittedly this may not make sense if you’re not British).
Hey Jack…….. do you have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?….. good, come here for a second.
You tell me, Jack, why do Football players squat like this. You’re the experienced one when it comes to sniffing others.
And..Ahhaha, there we are Jack. What we call in people speak, “reciprocity.”
Seriously? Is that what I look like when I’m taking a shit? Gross.
Can you guess what I had for lunch?
Jack, you heard the doctor say that I had to generously apply the hemorrhoid cream several times a day. There’s no need to be shy about it now.
You call THAT a poopy? Hold on a second & I’ll show you a poopy!
Um, you’re doing it wrong.
This is MY house now!
Mommy, I told you I didn’t want to try broccolli, See, it made me poop a giant dog!
“It’s called the Bunny Hop and you just hop like this…”
THAT’S what it looks like? Time to stop licking mine.
Watch the Birdie Jack, it brown eyes about to wink!
ECHO CHAMBER!!! LISTEN FOR IT…
“How am I supposed to do this right if mom keeps putting these damn dippers on me?! See Jack, nothing~! I’ve done everything just like you do, and all I get is another itchy poop restricter. When you do this mom puts you outside and gives you treats. What gives?”
This is what I do, I sit on you, sit on you, sit on you…
(It’s obvious the child has been watching too much Adult Swim.)
“Watch, Jack. I saw Snooki do this once.”
ok jack,first you smell mine then i’ll smell yours.. like you do with your dog friends..
So you thought you were going to rule their hearts forever, Jack? Kiss this big boy!
Look mommy!! I can poop like Jack!!!
sniff this, b*tch.
darn, not a female dog….
now that his career as a pirate is over, Jack Sparrow has taken a day job as a sumo wrestling coach
bump
“No honey, I said let’s play Leap FROG!”
Okay, we all know how bad I am at these contests…so I’ll just keep wondering how in the heck she does keep the carpets so clean?!
“landon if I do that, I get in trouble”
You do it and all you get is aw aint that cute”
life sucks
Okay. My money’s on you.
DOG: If this guys is trying to do what i think he’s trying to do I’m gonna rip him a new a$$hole!!!!!!
Landon had quite an advanced vocabulary for an 18 month old. However, he chose to share his deep disdain for the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise through much more primitive forms of communication.
Okay Jack, let’s play leap frog. You go first. Ready??
Guess what I’m going to blame on you….
Snifffff… I detect hints of mum mums, a subtle undertone of vanilla and strong notes of blackberry. I’m guessing a blend from the 2009 Grand Reservd collection.