I thought I was finished with my "if and when to have more kids" series. We had guest posts from someone one and done, someone pregnant with their second and someone about to have their third. But then I got an email from Nicole aka The Ninja Mom. You might know her as "the one who leaves comments funnier than my posts". Nicole's got FOUR, count them FOUR children (ages 6, 4, 4 and 2) and she'd like moms considering a similar-sized brood to know exactly what they are getting themselves into.
If we're being honest, four is not even in my consideration set. I can only imagine that the severe lack of space would drive me out of my apartment and possibly out of New York altogether. Maybe I'd buy a farm somewhere out west. Put the kids to work to make the whole endeavor financially sound.
Although, according to Nicole, monetary issues would be the least of my concerns. Nicole says with four kids the problems get A LOT worse. Nasty even. DISGUSTING might be the best way to describe it.
Basically, if you have four children, you better own a dump truck, a closet full of Clorox and a less than stellar olfactory system…
WARNING: Content below should not be read before lunch.
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Having four children is a little like being Alice in Wonderland. Which is to say— like a really bad trip. Sure, the colors are pretty and you get to eat things off plates that aren't yours, but I am the walrus, koo-koo-kachoo, and let me tell you, it's the flashbacks in the form of lingering smells and dirty little reminders that get to you.
Seven Reasons Having Four Kids is Just Plain Stupid by Someone with Four Kids
1. Filth. Ever have a small bathroom trashcan that's overflowing with some toilet paper tubes and a Q-tip? I have 39,293 industrial-sized trashcans full of unidentified clumps of health code violations. Metaphorically speaking, one kid = one bathroom trashcan. Four kids = landfill.
2. Laundry. I've been doing a correctional facility's worth of ratty laundry for about three years now. It's heady with reek and covered with crusty unidentifiables. One child cannot match this level of dirty clothing output. One laundress cannot scale the mountain. I hope you like your laundry pile Everest-sized because you have four dirty sherpas bringing da funk.
3. Fecal Matter. One child leaves poo in one place. Two children leave it in two or three places (one stealth-squats in a corner while you're busy cleaning up the first's mess in the crib; both drag the corner scat to a third location because, hey!, nature's Play-Doh). Three or more children breed crap like Perdue breeds chickens; one turd atop another.
Editor's Note: I will spare you a diagram.
4. Stench. Do you like the smell of coffee brewing in the morning? Me too, but I don't notice it anymore because I have four olfactory offense makers. I want to stop and smell the roses, but invariably there's an offspring of mine in front of the rosebush spreading the gospel of farts, bad breath, curdled milk and a secret food stash that went bad when Clinton was still schtupping in the Oval Office.
5. Urine. Nothing smells worse than old diapers choked with pee except lots of old diapers choked with pee. I've had as many as three children in diapers at a given time and nothing infuriates me like the elusive stink of "What the hell is that? Did the kids load roadkill in the minivan?" Fun fact: Poo power fades over time, but pee spawns and its children smell like cheese and ammonia.
6. Food waste. Do you smell something? Is it that new dinner recipe gone awry or did Junior leave a cup of milk in your Tupperware cabinet? You know what? Imagine four juniors, each armed with food scraps more terrifying than the last. Salmon from last night's dinner in the bed sheets. A full Go-Gurt oozing silently under the couch. A strip of half-chewed steak tips from last week's crockpot surprise wrapped in your washcloth. When feeling optimistic I see this as a diet plan.
7. Noise. When we get hungry enough, all parents learn to eat with a poopy-diapered toddler on our lap. We all realize that moist grubby things will dry up eventually and become stiff grubby things that we can pile in a corner and ignore. But it's all the noise, noise, noise, noise that got to the Grinch, you'll remember. His heart may have grown in the magical land of Suess, but he didn't have four kids living under one roof. If I don't get some quiet around here I'm stealing Christmas.
CAUTIONARY FOLLOW-UP: You think this is as bad as it gets? It's only gonna get worse. Imagine four pubescent teens who've yet to embrace the joys of deodorant but learned to carry full plates of food to their bedrooms to rot for eternity, and who think the "volume" button is an invitation to increase the noise level on their Death-Punk-Techno Vanilla Ice cover.
I AM SCREWED.
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Editor's Note: Still think four kids might be for you? Head on over to Ninja Mom to take this highly scientific quiz so you can know for sure.
Oh. Dear. Holy. Mother.
Nicole, you have convinced me that I’m to stop at trash can and a small mountain of crap, laundry and various unspeakables.
Stay sane. Stay strong. Or just bail out when they’re teens and lock yourself in the one clean room you may have left.
Wow you sound like a terrible parent. I am a man with 4 under 4 and life is not easy for us but you are clearly not an able person to deal with this. Suggest you put them into foster care so you can get back to buying sweet smelling flowers and going for brunch!
Amen, while reading this all I could think was she was a horrible ungrateful mother.
What an asshole, just because we sometimes lose it doesn’t at all mean we don’t love, need or want our kids, until you have given birth yourself, I’d suggest you follow the golden rule: If you can’t say something nice, then just sit down and shut up. What kind of jerk are you anyhow, every woman who’s ever had a child needs encouragement, not degrading, so piss off in your own Cheerios, I am willing to bet your kids will probably grow to resent you.
Bitch
I think she was just kidding people…dont be so harsh
You probably find it easier as you had a really dull life before kids my 4 drive me insane
NO. NO. Stop it.
This? Will never happen.
Well, instead of sane I stay medicated. The good news is that I always have a child to harrass into cuddle time. “Come here sweetie! Mommy needs a kissie!!!” They’ll hate me later.
Too cute! I can relate! 🙂
I thought so, too. And then I had twins. Buwhahahahaha!
Gogurt the silent killer! Lmao! Pure funny and yet all very solid reasons why one and done keeps looking better and better!! That and my mil taunts me that twins run in the family. Twin mommas are my heroes and I can never fully live up to the pedestal I’ve put u on! 🙂 so I best not even try!!
Your depiction of pee diapers brought a floodgate of horrible horrible memories back from when I had two under two in diapers. Thanks for that.
And Gogurts? Definitely something invented by a non parent. Hate those effing things! Oh, and crush cups too!
Nicole, I have four children UNDER THE AGE OF FOUR!!! I feel your pain, believe me I feel your pain. And to any who doubt what Nicole says, sadly it is all true. Our adventures can be read here: http://fourunder4plustwo.blogspot.com/?zx=59c0de771b3648b9
Hmmm, now the prospect of perhaps having baby number 4 was under some consideration, now I”m not so sure. I’m already almost buried alive by the mountain of washing/ironing in my house (the bottom of the laundry basket is an urban myth, right?). I have to agree, that the power of pee does indeed outlive the power of the poo!!!!
What a great post!!!!
I think I’ll stop at 3, thanks.
If my doctor already hadnt told me to stop at 2 inside a year, this definately convinced me! Right now we have a 6 y/o, 21 months and 9 months … Every now and then my husband wants more, I think if I show him this and remind him of the laundry and dishes we already have, it will definately solve his ‘baby craving’ lol
I have two in diapers. And I’m done. Aha.
I’m probably going to be the only person who digresses a little but quite frankly, your post saddened me. I mean, I understand completely and think your musing were humorous, but perhaps the solution is to not have four children so close in age? I am a big believer that the problem with families who have 2+ kids is really parents’ inability to try and space them out better. I know this isn’t always probable, but for some reason everyone wants their kids “close in age” and I don’t get. It’s not like they’ll necessarily have better inter-personal relationships or be able to play better just because they’re close in age. Quite frankly, my sister and I are 7 years apart and I think we have an even better relationship because of it: I loved playing with her (house, dolls, etc.), she thought I was cool “just because”, I could help around the house and watch her because I was old enough, etc. I just wish there was more posts where +2 kid writings came with humor AND details for why it’s so awesome, versus awful.
Don’t put me on that pedastal, though. I dropped both twins on their infant heads when they were little. Accidentally, of course! I was trying to breastfeed them at the same time. It was right after ttha incident that I realized formula is AWESOME!
You don’t *like* mounds of pee-pee diapers? It’s the smell of parenthood! 😉
Crush cups baffle me. More than Go-Gurt. It’s my experience that my kid shoving his face in a cup of yogurt and smooshing it up onto his cheeks is a bad idea.
I remember the four under four days. I feel *your* pain.
Thanks, Gemma!
Isn’t that pee thing mind-blowing? I really thought, before kids, that poo was the unltimate in evil stink, but it just doesn’t have the staying power.
See? You’re one of those stable minded-ones. Smart.
I think the spacing issue is moot. It is what it is. I have much younger siblings and love that, my kids enjoy a lot of the same things and I love that, too. I find that most people have a lot less control over spacing their children over certain intervals than they might presume.
I think, too, if you’ll read closely enough, you’ll notice that I’m picking on the trappings of mothering 4 kids, not the kids themselves. They bring me joy daily. However, their laundry does not.
Clearly, you see that I’m joking around here. But I take your point about the joys of having four kids. There are joys everyday. I think I could write a post about that, too. So, challenge accepted. I guess you’ll have to follow my blog and see what I come up with.
Very funny! I’m always on the lookout for another amusing mommy blog, where the writer gets that kids are great, but the stories/anecdotes come from where you least expect it. I don’t think that you’re complaining at all – so don’t worry about your post coming off that way.
I’m a mom to an 18 mo old and trying to get preggo w/ my second…but I dream of getting preg with more JUST because I like the feeling of being special while gestating a human inside me. Maybe being a surrogate is in my future since my house is so small? No, I’d never give them up. I now see why people end up with so many kids.
Great job!
Yup… still content with my lone little garbage pail. 🙂
Thanks for the comment!
Good luck with number two! I was able to enjoy the twins more than my first because I was a lot more relaxed. More sleep-deprived, but eh, sleep’s overrated.
I don’t like to type that I’m set with one, because I fear a phantom sperm on the toilet seat will impregnate me the next time I sit to pee. I was sold even before the pee diaper bit.
Item #5 brought me back to trying to use a toilet while having 2 kids less than 2 years apart in age when neither was potty-trained.
I’d get mid-stream when the horrifying death ammonia stench of a rogue pee-soaked diaper would begin singing my nostril hairs. I had to decide to either stop peeing and run out of the room, kick the offensive trash can across the room, hold my breath while I finish my business, or simultaneously pee while tying up the trash bag (which we all can assume is overflowing). Gross.
In summary, my uterus was just absorbed into my abdominal cavity upon remembering all this. Thank you! I may not have to replace my Mirena next year, after all…
Every once in awhile I get the hankering for a third. Now I have some perspective to help me out. I am overwhelmed with gross already, can I really handle the gross factor going up? No. I can’t. Old pee diapers are the WORST! My 4 year old hides his wet pull ups in the morning because he wants to make me believe that he’s waking up dry. I found a stash of them in his closet. Worst part? At some point the kid had asparagus with dinner. HOLY COW does an old asparagus-pee pull up smell bad.
Three kids is awesome!
I don’t think you can blame it on the twins when you had the fourth afterwards!
I totally agree. Ninja Mom, you should space your children out more. What were you thinking having twins? Stop it. Stop having them be close in age. Spread it out. Make one of them 11. That will help. Hmm, if one is 11, how about another one 8, then 4 then a baby. Just do that. It will be so much easier. Stop having the inability to space them out better and just do it!
Match point goes to Mommy Shorts!
Moms of twins are heros for sure. I don’t know how they (you) do it. Although, I have to imagine that after the first couple of years it gets a lot more fun. You know, screwing up one kid and then still having a second one to hang your hopes and dreams on.
I have never heard of these “crush cups”. I don’t think I want to.
I’ve said it before – I don’t know HOW you do four. I can’t even keep the two naughty nappers clean and…clean. Remember – mine are the ones who have delightedly dunked pacifiers in hotel toilets and licked the bottoms of their shoes after leaving a New Hampshire liquor store rest stop bathroom.
I really hope you have a Bissell steam cleaner. It’s all that keeps my house semi-sanitary.
My mom had 6 kids. I’m familiar with this household scene. And am 2 and done.
Two things.
1) This only reinforces my decision that one mini-Godzilla is enough of a challenge for my feeble housekeeping skills.
2) I really want that Death-Punk-Techno Vanilla Ice cover.
I have found out (the terribly, horribly, no good very bad hard way) that what she says is absolutely true. I feel like three kids is just a preview of what four kids would be like. I actually said the phrase, “Why didn’t you tell me there was poop on your bedroom door?” yesterday. True story.
Thank you for making me feel normal right now! I also have 4 ages 7,6,4 & 3. This totally made my day! =)
im kinda considering number 5….maybe i should be put away!!!!
Lol, this sounds like my house a lot, I have a 13,8,7,and a 3 year old, and the landfill thing is so trueeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! just remember though when you’re old, you’ll have 4 sets of visitors and their families to your nursing home to rock things up a little 😉
Aw, look at you with the details! Clearly I was in the grips of baby madness!
Nah, we choose four. Suckers for our own genetic cocktails.
Asparagus, the pee diaper tattletale.
Who doesn’t want that cover? What, couldn’t find it on iTunes? 😉
I went through a phase, after the twins discovered each others diapers, when I’d obsessively clean any taupe- to chocolate-covered spot and then sniff the rag just to be sure it wasn’t poo. My heart still skips a beat when I see a fudge smudge on a bathroom door. Hey, whodathunkit? It’s only smeared Hershey’s.
Glad to do it!
Truth? We talked about five. I wouldn’t hate it, but I’m pretty sure I’m at my personal limit for good mothering. For all the excess chaos, there’s also an excess of magic. I woukdn’t change a thing (I’d just hire a weekly house clean if I could).
I have 3 boys and I swear I’m going to install HoneyBuckets in my back yard just so I don’t have to deal with all the bathroom messes and clogged toilets! I feel your pain..even if I have just one less.
Nicole, I love your response. Especially your last line. You. Are. Awesome.
And I’m even more in awe because you have four kids AND somehow find time to blog.
Rock on.
Blog as birth control. I like it.
Girl! You. Are. Hilarious. If it all weren’t true, it wouldn’t be so funny! I only have two and they are 7.5 years apart! I can honestly say that I cried through much of my last pregnancy (when I wasn’t sleeping or working nights) at the thought of all the stages we had left behind and were going to revisit *and yet* when I see Ry (10yo brother) who lets Eva (2.5 yo sister) do anything short of murder and simply pats her on the head or Eva, who is positive that Ry walks on water, cry when he gets hurt (no matter how trivial) I can say that, while we hadn’t planned to have any more/such space between them, I wouldn’t trade them for the world…but then again, he voluntarily schlupps laundry and she LOVES to ‘hep mama fode cwose’ (help mama fold clothes) 🙂
It’ll get easier as soon as the youngest is out of the crib. Why? The crib is where you store all the clean laundry. You’ll save time by not folding it and putting it in drawers and closets. Sorry I don’t have an answer for your garbage heap. Can you invest in a couple of big hungry dogs?
As a mom of four (13, 12, 10 and 8) I laughed until I cried reading this. yes, I’ve had 3 in diapers at a time. And oh YES, the smells get worse as they age!
Thanks for comiserating! LOVED it!
There’s a reason that animals PEE to mark their territory: the stench lives on forever. FOUR kids? I have two boys & that sometimes feels like twenty, particularly when it comes time to clean the bathroom. Have scientists studied the genetics of what prevent the male humanoid from actually HITTING the toilet with a urine stream? Is it really so hard? And if so, why not SIT DOWN? Besides, with four, you’re shifting to a zone defense, rather than one-on-one. Your post should be mandatory reading in high school sex ed classes…
It does get better, at least did for me, not just because my kids got older (I had more after 4 so still had the baby/toddler factor) but because I got more experienced. That helps.
Life is hard but good.
oh my, i totally thought having a fourth kid was when it got easy? don’t people with large families always say that?
i have three and laundry defines me. in fact, i gotta go do some now!
Severely in the one and done camp .. My older sister has 4 kids (bless her and all you other moms of multiples {not just meaning twins}) … though it has nothing to do with the mountains of laundry/dishes/diapers etc (okay, maybe not NOTHING but .. little to do with it) ..
I’ve been there done that, love my daughter wouldn’t change a thing (okay, maybe her snarkiness starting at the age of a minute) .. but I don’t want to do it again.
Does that make me bad? Nope. Makes me honest. and Happy.
Rock On NinjaMom Nicole
Amen, sister. I like my chaos. I do.
So, to frighten you, I would dress as a sperm?
You have me grinning. On Halloween, Bee (my 6yo) was shepherding her sisters and borther through the trick-or-treat process. “Don’t forget to say ‘thanks’!” “Look, you got a lolliopop!”
I must say the most surpirsing thing is that I have so many people in one house taking care of each other. It’s not only the Hubster and me doing the caregiving. Sure, they squabble, but they are like a gang. If an outside gang attacks, my kids iwll cut them.
That crib bit is genius!
I do have two large dogs. Alas, they are getting picky in their old age and I’m stuck sweeping up more and more crap. Lazy mutts.
Thanks so much!
Too funny! I’m adopting “The stench lives on forever” as a new family motto.
I have my teenaged brother and sister come stay every summer for a week or so. It’s how I provide birth control.
There’s a crappy attittude some people have toward parents of famlies larger than three kids. Some people believe those parents no longer have a right to moan, goran, or commiserate. It’s the “you did this to yourself” phenomenon.
So, as a defense mechanism, I think we larger families (and I’m at the low end of that spectrum, to be sure) put on the smile and say, “It’s a breeze with 539,932 children in my home!”
And, like all scenarios, there are pros and cons. Just like for all parents, whether they have one or one hundred, this job is HARD.
I welcome all complainers.
Amy, for me, no joke, I look back and feel that those fisrt two years as a mom, with only my Bee to parent, were the hardest. I found a certain amount of freedom in having more kids to spread my attetnion amongst. I eased up on my Bee and myself.
But that’s me, momma. I think it’s important to know two things: 1) your limits, and 2) that you’ll always have moments where you’ll wonder if you have made the right decision concerning the size of your family.
That’s life, and that why there’s wine to help life do down more smoothly.
ooh a backup! I never thought of it like that…oh the things you leave me to ponder shorts…damn you
Happily! I just hope that all of us Mommy writers solidify all the bad *and good* of parenthood so that when our kiddies read it one day, they get the full picture. [Plus I know too many people who want just 1 kid and can’t even have that and my heart breaks.] Can’t wait to see some more tales from your Ninja Mom Blog!
This is hilarious and humbling. I thought 2 was tough. I’ll stop complaining now. Well, right after I point out that I’m writing this at 4 am with one hand while nursing…
Ooh, Ninja Mom, I am impressed with your level and mature rebuttal! I think I want four, but that is said from the naive viewpoint of the mother of one. ONE is so easy! ONE naps and I can nap without coordinating anyone else! ONE is in the wrong spot? Pick her up and move her! But two… and three… and four… I still think I want them.
my mom always said 4 was a lot easier than 3, that 3 was the hardest because you now had more children than adults, and more children than you had hands.
Old cloth diapers soaked with pee trumps old diapers soaked with pee. Trust me.
Baby #4 for me was twins.
20 months later baby #6 joined them.
Plus 3 additional step kids.
I completely agree, mothering itself is a total joy, but the side effects? Where’s Alice? I need a maid!
Hi! i would love to hear the positive comments of having 4 as we can get some help with them points. I have two girls 4 and 1.5 and i’m pregnant with a third girl, as you can imagine i hate all the people’s faces when you tell them you are having three girls! it’s very upsetting! so maybe one day i’ll have four to try for a boy, but who knows that’s why it would be nice to hear that is possible rather than an impossible thing to do….
You are fully aware of what is coming for Planet Teen! BWAH! Thank you for sharing the link.
But you know what the cruel part is? There will be a lull around the time your youngest is in first grade and the others are… you have too many for me to calculate (don’t give me crap about two being the same age).
You’ll be like, aren’t things better. Wow, some of them can even take care of their own hygiene and the others even occasionally flush the toilet. And then wham, Planet Teen. But the upside, you can actually leave your kids at home without CPS being notified. You can always find the silver lining once the dump truck turns over the landfill pile. Ellen
I am so, so, so close to the sweet spot. I have a first grader (I’ll do the math for you) and the twins start kindergarten in the fall. Sure, Roo (he’s almost 3), will still need to be shuffled to pre-school and whatnot, but he’s a pretty fast learner in terms of independent dressing, butt wiping, etc., because his three little mothers help him, wether he likes it or not.
I’m dreading the instantaneous teen change. I assuem it will be like Michael J. Fox’s groundbreaking film, “Teen Wolf.”
load of crap…
This is bs.
oh this is an old post but GREAT!!! No wonder I sit here like a zombie! I deserve to be exhausted. we had 4 children 2 1/2 and under. 1 boy – 2 1/2, 1 girl 16 months then twin boy and girl! cute as anything and oh so adorable. exhaustedly loving every minute of it. 🙂
just want to add that our oldest child will be 4 at the end of January 2013 so – we are now 4 under 4 🙂
Ep only a mom of twins can appreciate the hummor one must have to stay sane during the early years. I have 6 including 6yo twins. GoGurt and Crush cups have been banned for obvious reasons. Thanks for the good laugh Ninja Mom.
This made me laugh! But then again that is all you can do some days to get by with 4. I had twins first then surprised with #3 just a mear 14 months later. Then as if we had forgotten the cause of babies #4 snuck in there 3 years later. Each day is a struggle and Blessing. We celebrate the small stuff and this year is my year to have my finial child out of diapers! I am so very excited because I have been changing diapers since 2005! Whoop whoop !
Now I am terrified! I am pregnant with baby #4 right now.
Just watched hotel Transylvania with my older two. My younger two are crashed out. Loving itt!!! Yes I’m exhausted but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.. Teach your kids to help and do their part. That’s the only way it will work. A house of lazy kids and a negative mother is bound to be miserable.
This is awesome! Preggo with #4. So true bout the bathroom trash and the laundry!
LOL!!! I love this post 🙂 I have 4 kids under 5 ….. A girl 18 months, a girl 3 years, a boy 4 years and another girl 5 years. Currently considering a 5th! I think I am mad… Or at least the crazy cat lady’s twin sister… Hehehehe
Hahahahaha!!!!! I have 4 boys, 6y, 3y, 23months and 5months, I can cpmpletely grasp where your coming from, although its a never ending job, I’m sure you wouldn’t have had it any other way like me. Ballz of steal Ninja mom 😉
I have 4 kids one 10yr old girl and 3 boys 5, 2, and 1. I have to say, I thought it was going to be difficult but it doesn’t bother me. for some reason I never have backed up laundry there is never a mess and those dirty diapers (poo or Urine) go straight to the dumpster outside in a separate bag (never leave them in the home) Well I guess you can call me a clean freak but I just know how to manage my 4 kids and they get me…… I am thinking of having my 5th but we will see…… I wouldn’t give them up for nothing in the world…. ( Not even SLEEP 🙂 )
My father had 14 GIRLS no boys I’m pregnant with my fourth and I gotta say it doesn’t seem half bad I have a five year old two year old and seven month old sure our fourth was not planned but a much anticipated surprise I grew up with chaos let the whirlwind begin
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I have four and can’t relate to this (except the noise: my teenager rivals my 6-year-old in that department), probably because there are 9 years between the oldest and the youngest.
Never had two in diapers, god forbid, and now I’ve got a live-in babysitter. The hardest thing about it is not being able to fit the whole family in a normal car.
After reading this, having 2 under 2 (and 6 months pregnant with #3), I must be certifiable… I still think, “I could do 4!” Granted the landfill gets emptied at least once a day, because the power of pee diapers is nothing to joke about. I love having my boys so close.
Wow, I am considering three.. My mother had two and we were three years apart. It was kinda boating bc our personalities are like day & night. The older we got the more we clashed. I ended up moving out and starting my own life. I have two currently.. And they are seven years apart. I thought they were going to be distant, they will never attend school together and I figured I probably waited too long. However it’s the opposite! My 8 year old helps out with his brother a lot! And his brother admires and imitates all that the older one does. I can get a lot done.. They too have different personalities, my oldest is mild, mellow.. Introverted whereas the baby is wild free and scared of nothing as long as his big brother is with him! I admire this bc me and my sister didn’t start actually getting along until about two years ago. I’m thinking I want to add a third (try for a girl) & when my oldest is out the house the last two will be closer in age and grow up together. Looking back on it I feel my oldest missed out on having a 24 hour play mate.. And he’s been more introverted since his brother came along. I definitely don’t want four after reading this lol! My husband comes from a family of six and wants more but I think I’m limiting it to three.
I am a fifteen year old girl and the oldest of nine children (ages 15,12,9,7,7,5,4,3, and 1… 4 boys 5 girls) and we home school. I can assure you that my entire family is sane. There is a lot of noise, and dirt, and general craziness, but one smile from any one of my siblings makes up for any unpleasantness that is an after effect of having a large family. I think it is a grave misinterpretation that it is a terrible thing to have more than 4 children. We shouldn’t focus on the negative, rather the joy that each person brings to our lives.
As we have gotten older my parents have relied on us more, but it makes us feel needed and loved, which is honestly the best feeling you could ever have. I am very close to all of my siblings and I would not give up where I am for the world. When we go to the grocery store, or the soccer fields we get crazy looks, dirty looks, and stunned looks, but honestly they don’t know what they are missing out on.
Everyone in in our family as a playmate, no one is left out. The more people you have the higher the chance that someone is going to be happy at any moment in time. The work actually gets easier the more you have ’cause many hands makes light work ya know? You actually don’t get less attention, you get more! If you need help with something the more people who are available to help you! Our dinners are crazy, but there is always lively conversation, never a dull moment. How many people can boast that? Children are blessings, not burdens 🙂
I thought this might be a funny read, but I have to say that I am DISGUSTED. Anything is possible if you are organized and stay on top of things. And is having the cleanest house the most important thing in my life? No. Not even in the top ten.
I have two children, one little girl 2 and half,a baby boy almost 8 months old and I am pregnant now with baby #3, I want or I am considering baby #4, I really want 4 children but my husband and I agreed to have 3 children not 4 children, I grew up with one sibling, sometimes I felt lonely and always wanted more siblings not a good experience with 1 sibling you get too bored many times. My husband grew up with 11 siblings, he said he loved his siblings, He also said that mothers have to think very carefully, seriously, wisely about having 5 children because he knows, studied and experienced that after 5 children mothers lose their freedom and flexibility and sometimes personal life with many children, 5 or more children is not so smooth it does not matter age, genders, money. That’s is really pushing to the limits. But I definitely decided to have 4 children with my own guts can someone tell me honestly how is it with 4 children close age gap like mine.
I understand this was written to be humorous, but obviously if you have this much hate stored up about noise and smells I don’t think you should really be a parent at all. Those are things that come with the job, what did you expect?
I can’t wait to have 4 kids. From what I read, it sounds like your glass is always half empty. Instead of writing about all the things that are tough about having 4 kids, why not write of all the things you love about your kids? Show the world how great of a parent you are, not how bitter you are about being a parent.
My mom had 4 children( all 2 years apart) her and my father took care of all of us just fine and had NO problem because they were up for the task plus having 4 children was NOTHING compared to my Grandmothers my dads mother had SEVEN CHILDREN and my mom’s mother had NINE and they were perfectly fine
I want to have 6 when i’m older. It all depends on if you can handle for children or not as the oldest of 4 children having 4 children isn’t that bad. I’ve helped my parent look after my other brothers and sister. They also had help from my aunts , uncles and grandparents so raising us was no problem at ALL.
People shouldn’t be discouraged about having a big family as long as you can take care of them, have help and love them you’ll be fine.
[…] A hilarious post about the realities of having four children. -Mommy […]
All I can think while reading this is she should have stopped at the first one.
I have 3 kids, I want a fourth. All 3 of my kids are in diapers cause the older 2 are special needs (autistic etc), and my house smells amazing. It’s perfectly clean, no rotting anything anywhere. No mountains of laundry etc, and we play/learn all day.
If you keep ontop of things, clean as you go, and so on you do not face any of this Hollywood horror story projected in this article.
This isn’t even a humorous post, it just seemed like a rant of pent up hatred she had for children.
This post just makes me sad. I have four kids in 6 years and it’s great. Yes, it’s hard and a lot of work to manage them, but not nearly like you describe. They are human beings, with feelings. How do you think they will feel one day when they read this and wonder if they were a mistake to you? When you sign on to be a parent don’t be surprised when it takes hard work. I intentionally had my kids close together for a hundred different reasons. It is very close minded for someone to think that was poor planning. My kids all play together, they are interested in the same things at the same time. I wouldn’t go back and change anything.
Reading this makes me glad I spaced out my four kids, haha. The ages are 20, 17, 14, and eight. Having TWO teenagers at a time can be REALLY tricky! Trust me, if you can help it, (regardless if you’re going down the adoption or biological route) spacing out your kids is the best thing you can really do. That way, you won’t be put through the same hell as poor Nicole here!
Speaking of which, GOOD FREAKING LUCK, Nicole! You’re going to need it! I can’t imagine all the sanity loss you’re experiencing but try to remember it’ll all be worth it in the end and you have many parents’ support! 🙂
I almost never comment on random internet articles, but this one disgusted and disturbed me.
I have four small children and am pregnant with my fifth, in no way is it easy. But it’s not disgusting like this!
No ones pooping in corners, our house doesn’t smell, and if a child had a poop diaper we change it before we eat with them. We don’t make them sit it in.
Yes laundry gets crazy and dishes get crazy but this paints such a horrible picture of raising a large family. I wouldn’t even call this raising a family. It sounds like abuse.
There’s no positive message or helpful advice. Not a funny or useful article at all.
So true! I agree!
Wow…maybe it’s the times we’re living in. My mother had 5 children and she and my father ran a tight ship. She has passed that type of parenting on to each of her children. Our house was always orderly and clean – she was the prefect mother; I feel as though I could never be as good as she was at running a household with 5 little ones running around.
As soon as we were old enough to do chores (as early as 4 years old), everyone pulled their weight. We were taught how to do things the proper way, and as we became older, if we dirty, we had to clean our messes, or else we knew what the outcome was going to be (a belt to the fanny). I’m not advocating spanking/punishment in order to keep a clean house (especially not babies!), in fact my parents seldom had to use corporal punishment. I believe it’s about setting expectations from a young age. I get it, it takes work trying to teach and instill certain things, and the temperament/personality of each child creates its own challenge ,but it is worth the time and sacrifice. My siblings and I were spaced 2 years apart. There seems to be an issue when parents decide to have too many too close, then, everything becomes overwhelming which is to be expected with many little ones in diapers. Hats off to you moms who struggle and still manage to spend quality time with your littles.
We all parent differently, we all experience parenthood in our own unique ways as well. What’s most important is that your children feel loved and no matter how stinky the situation gets at home, they should know that mommy, daddy and the rest of the crew have their backs – after all, dirt don’t hurt! :-;
Ok, it must just be me, but I am 100% certain that this was either satire or written when she still had a newborn, because there’s no way 4 can be THAT much worse than 3 for long.
If not, my life would kill her 🤣