Mazzy likes her father more than me. I made that clear last week. This is true for most little girls, I've heard, so I'm trying not to take it too personally.
HOWEVER.
Mazzy's love of Daddy goes beyond her need to be around him— it's a need to BE LIKE HIM as well.
The most clear example of this is her extreme dedication to her Giants t-shirt. I know I've mentioned it already but I really want to hammer this home.
She asks to wear it EVERY SINGLE DAY— temperature, occasion, be damned. Even Mike has begun to insist she wear other clothing. I have tried to relegate it as "bedtime only" so neighbors don't start to suspect neglect.
The daddy-like attire doesn't stop at her shirt. She has also become obsessed with Mike's baseball hats. She likes to wear them backwards and struts around like she's the coolest thing since, well… Daddy. (Doesn't she know that I'M THE COOL ONE???)
Don't get me wrong— It's very cute. I'm just struggling to adjust to the arrival of my new little tomboy.
I have read article after article on how to make sure girls get exposed to math and science and how to compliment your daughter's intellect over her looks. I want my daughter to feel empowered and like she can accomplish anything she wants.
So I never imagined I would be saddened by Mazzy's unwillingness to wear a dress.
After all, I refused to wear ANYTHING BUT DRESSES, when I was little.
A few weeks ago we went to a Purim party where all the kids were supposed to dress in costume. The story of Purim revolves around a Queen so mostly, the girls dress up as princesses.
Try as I might to get Mazzy to wear a tutu, it was just not happening. And by not happening, I mean Mazzy stood in the middle of her room sobbing and screaming, "TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!" like she had just stepped in a mouse trap.
We scrapped the costume and opted for jeans, a t-shirt and bear ears instead.
Then, at the party, while all the other girls sat with their mothers in little circles decorating crowns with stamps and stickers, Mazzy ran around in the back with a bunch of sword fighting ten-year-old boys.
I tried to slow her down and bring her back to the safer, more ladylike activities but it was no use. Mazzy had discovered that if she picked up enough speed, she could slide across the dance floor on her knees.
Three times she was taken out by an older boy and just got up to continue running. No crying. Mazzy doesn't cry unless she's really hurt. (I'm excluding emotional meltdowns, of course.)
The girl's got no fear. She's tough as hell. She's kind of bossy. And now she wears t-shirts and baseball caps on a regular basis.
WHO IS THIS KID???
My husband, that's who.
Even her semi-patronizing displays of affection point to lessons learned from my other half.
"Awww….Mommm-Meee. I love you." She'll say as she gives me a brief crooked one-armed hug before running back to what she really wants to do.
On Friday, Mike and I went to a parent teacher conference at Mazzy's pre-pre-school. I expected them to give us a glowing review just like last conference. But this time, they said in the nicest way possible— Mazzy's been acting a little agressive lately and won't sit still.
I looked over at my husband's restless leg itching to get out of there.
Yep, I thought— don't look at me…
You’ll have much better stories with a wild girl than one who sits quietly coloring. Enjoy the half-hugs when you can get them. 🙂
I was a tomboy when I was little. I even tucked my hair into a cap to look more like a boy.
Look how I turned out!!
(Ok I don’t wear make up. But I do like shoes. And bags.)
i hope you have that giants shirt in all sizes until she graduates from college.
She is awesome! What she is, is confident. That is a testament to great parenting.
True. If I am not too exhausted to write them…
Starting from nursery school, I wore only dresses. It was an early rebellion against my mother who dressed me like a boy when I was a baby. She claims unisex was in, but I know that she was trying to save money in case their next child was a boy. Easier to put blue sailboats on girls than pink hearts on boys back then.
Although I did love to climb trees and was excellent at dodgeball. So, I guess I had a tiny bit of tomboy in me too.
We do have to get a new one. The neck is getting small— but she suffers through it for the larger purpose.
She is most definitely confident. No doubt about it. That’s not from me either, sadly.
What, no more cute little dresses? That is sad. But hey, she’s totally rocking the baseball cap. And it seems like at least she will never have problems with standing up for herself.
And since you linked to the other post, what happened to Abby Cadabby, fairy wands and tutus?
oh man. i’m on the complete opposite end of things. completely opposite. i’ve now completely given in to my pretty princess in pink. (omg i just gagged)
I’m trying to remember the name of the landmark psychological school study that basically revealed that girls like to sit and do quiet things because they are taught/forced to and boys are just expected to be loud and crazy (Dr. B will remember the title, I’m sure). My daughter still wears dresses and bows because she’s too young to dress herself (bwahahaha!) but she is already showing a preference for running, smashing into objects and taking flying leaps from high places. In fact, I just snapped a picture of her with a splint on her possibly-fractured leg while she wore her father’s baseball cap (the only thing that kept her happy in hour 6 of the ER). She is my opposite for sure, but she is a happy, sweet, loving girl. She might burn all the dresses I bought her one day, so I’m glad I dressed her nice and fancy when she was tiny! 🙂
Oh god, the “semi-patronizing displays of affection” – yup. I get those ALL the time from my 2 year old. Like “oh does mommy need a hug? poor mommy!”
My daughter was a total girl… until about 5 when she started playing tackle football. Now she refuses to wear anything but yoga pants in the winter and shorts and t-shirts in the summer. I can sometimes get a dress on her but it is only for special occasions. I can’t complain. I am a total tom boy still and didn’t know how to deal with the princess stage.
She still likes Abby Cadabby but the wand and tutu appear to be over for now. Although her favorite show is now Strawberry Shortcake so I probably shouldn’t be quick to place labels.
As for dresses, they are not completely out of the running. It’s just if I leave it up to her, she will go for the Giants t-shirt and jeans every time. Actually, the other day she was wearing a dress and when I got home from work, she made me put the Giants t-shirt on top of it.
Maybe Mike IS the cool one.
I was annoyed when Mazzy went through that phase too. Why can’t she just be a little bookworm art nerd like I was??
Love that image of your daughter in the ER. I mean- I hope her leg is okay! But so cute that she took comfort in her dad’s hat.
It’s not that she outright REFUSES to wear dresses (except the tutu), it’s just that her first clothing preference has been for that stupid Giants t-shirt.
Maybe as it gets hotter, she’ll start to appreciate the airiness of a dress. Fingers crossed.
….Although, that will probably mean a lot more skinned knees on pavement since Mazzy doesn’t appear to be slowing down any time soon.
It’s like I’ve taught her what I like so every once in awhile she does me a favor. Still makes me ridiculously happy. Pathetic.
PLEASE.
I think the larger problem for me will be if Mazzy and I do not ultimately share the same interests. I think I have to create some more exiting art projects to see if they hold her attention better.
Take heart your not the only one raising a tomboy. My 2 yr old girls loves motorcycles, bikes, skateboards, and most of all monster trucks. She is a tomboy thru and thru. Sounds like she has the same no fear attitude a Mazzy…Izzy doesn’t cry unless she’s hurt…really hurt. So I guess that’s why it took me 5 days to take her to the dr. after she broke her arm. Nothing to serious just a buckle fracture from doing flips off her bed. Good Luck…I know I need it.
Hee hee. Good one!
Oh, sealed the deal.
Love that girl. I love that girl.
I was a tomboy.
I was the middle in the family, born between two boys. I dressed in their clothes, went with them on our bikes, explored down by the creek.
Adventures, high adrenaline: they pushed me to do things I thought I couldn’t do and it filled me with pride and exhilaration. And a sense of fierce strength.
I’m only 5 ft 6, but still feel 6 ft 4.
Tomboys. One of the most wondrous things on the planet.
It’s sad that in our house my son tells Cheech that she is stronger than him all the time. I’m like dude, you need to build some muscles! She loves her power though and will display it by picking him up all the time. Reminds me of someone I knew, wait that was me. :/
Oh well, if they’re happy I guess it’s all good.
Mine would wear a dress daily if she could, but is tiring of bows.
I have the absolute opposite, I was a tomboy growing up, found my femininity in my 20’s and never looked back. My little girl is the GIRLIEST of girls I have ever met. Sometimes I want to knock her but right out of her fluffy pink skirt and have HER wear a Giants t-shirt. (no… not really, maybe Redskins, lol.) I didn’t think I would ever have such a girly girl, its shocking to me.
Oh boy. I mean, girl. I grew up w 7 brothers. If I wore a dress it was for church. My poor mother. This explains why the first time I got my eyebrows waxed, I was 30.
So the Sesame Street phase is over? Did you throw a no more Elmo party?
I heard that dresses with wide t-shirts are actually the next new thing. So maybe she’s really a little fashionista and just fooling you into thinking that she doesn’t care about what she is wearing.
My husband and I recently high fived each other because we were so excited that our 7.5 month old daughter seems to prefer yellow to any other colour. Cause a babies preference at that age, at any is a real indication that she isn’t going to be a total princess, right? Small victories. When I was a toddler I insisted on wearing a night cap everywhere I went, then this strange Gilligan’s Island hat, it will pass, but be sure to get plenty of pictures in the mean-time.
She’s got spunk! Spunk keeps things… interesting.
I speak from experience here.
P.S. It would either be very unwise or hella fun to let our daughters meet – I’m not sure which. 😉
It’s so funny these little people with their big personalities. I also wonder where my son came from. Your Mazzy is so adorable!
love her strength and fearlessness. my 5yr old is just as strong, confident and fearless. that’s how i always describe her. but, she’s the opposite of a tomboy. if she could wear a dress everyday, she would. all kinds. summer ones, fancy party ones. all of them. i have to tuck them away in the closet so she stops putting them on in the morning. and she’s having a full-on princess (sleeping booty) tea party for her bday. pink princess everything, sipping tea with pinkies up in in the air. yep. but love that she will still wrestle with daddy (much to my chagrin) playing favorite wrestlers and loves anything pink with skulls. and if it sparkles, even better. she’s definitely a girl, with an edge apparently.
Mine is a tomboy in a dress. She adores her older brother, and always wants to play with the big boys, but she insists on wearing a dress almost every day. It makes some of the running a little difficult, but she’s learning to tuck the dress into her leggings.
Great post – loved the ending!
My twins are not girly girls at ALL. They love to wrestle with their dad, get muddy outside, and just be crazy. My youngest is a little more girly, but she still doesn’t realize that she’s 2, not 4, and has NO FEAR. It’s okay. When I found out I was having girls I was terrified. I don’t know how to play tea party and princesses. I was on the soccer field.
You may be able to trick her! My new guilty pleasure is Jen and Jac Designs on FB. You can send her a Giants shirt and she will make it into an ADORABLE dress for Mazzy….for CHEAP. But it is such good quality. I had a Northwestern Soccer dress made for Avery from my hubby’s old shirts and it is so stinkin cute.
The baseball cap is ridiculously cute. I have to admit that I would have been disappointed if my (almost) 2-year-old daughter refused to wear the over-the-top girly things, mostly because she has 3 older brothers and I thought that I would NEVER get the chance to dress somebody in a tutu! Which I recently learned the hard way — toddlers apparently don’t wear them to the mall here. People were pointing. Oops.
Aw, kinda adorable! At least you wont be blamed for the aggressive behavior! LOL
Maybe as a compromise you could try a Giants dress, and just tell her it’s a big T-shirt?
Or better yet, make Mike wear pink ruffly stuff for as long as she insists on imitating him.
I have to girls. One was a princess, that wanted to wear nothing but pink and had a handbag with every outfit, then turned into a Tomboy at the age of 5. The other one was a Tomboy and now she’s walking around in tutu’s doing ballet all day..
I, too, was the little girl who only wanted to wear dresses (and spin around so that the skirt flared out around me); I was as girlie as they come.
(Not anymore, I might add. Now I wear sweats and barely shower.)
My daughter on the other hand refuses to wear anything but shorts and jeans. She is almost 13 and doesn’t want to wear make-up, shave her legs or own an iPhone.
Who IS this person?
I will say the year my son was three, he wore his Peter Pan costume (from Halloween – so cute – his sister was baby Tinkerbell – the last dress she was willing to put on)for 365 straight days.
So. Pretty much, my daughter’s a tom boy and my son wanted to be Sandy Duncan.
Good thing I’m progressive.
Oh yeah.
What, oh what, is so wrong with her liking her daddy? Most woman complain that dad isn’t involved. Clearly her daddy is, and thus she isn’t a storybook princess, but, gasp!, an active child who likes to DO rather than watch.
What you have is a girl who isn’t crippled by restrictive gender roles. Please stop trying to “fix” her and celebrate that you are raising a woman who will be able to stand on her own two feet.
Much of what I write on my blog is tongue and cheek. I am in by no means trying to change my daughter, I am THRILLED that she has a good relationship with her father and that he is very involved and I would love nothing more than for her to grow up to be a strong confident woman.
Obviously.
Oh, I love this child! She’s brilliant.
A ballsy daughter is the shiz. Although I already have two sons….so maybe I SHOULD encourage knitting and tea parties with Harlow…