Since the brilliant Dr. B is incredibly busy these days (in addition to her full-time job, she has also taken on a gig as an adjunct professor— the nerve!), I am forced to relay her expertise second hand.
Today I want to tell you about a ridiculously useful tool that she gave us as a gift last week. It's called the TIME TIMER
As I've mentioned previously, we have been struggling with setting limits and getting Mazzy to listen to us.
If we shut the television or take away the iPad, she freaks out, no matter how many verbal warnings we give ("after this video", "five more minutes", etc.).
If it's time to take a bath or go to bed or eat dinner, there is usually a chase around the house that ends with a healthy dose of flailing and crying.
You know that horribly effective move where your child makes their shoulders dissappear so there is absolutely no way to pick them up?
We get that A LOT.
Dr. B says the TIME TIMER
Basically, it's a large clock timer with a simple visual reference to show time elapsing (the red section gets smaller and smaller as time passes). Saying "five more minutes" to a two-year-old means nothing, but seeing "five minutes" slowly deplete itself visually will eventually begin to make sense.
She recommended using it in the following way:
• Introduce and explain the clock
• Use it as much as possible throughout the day so that Mazzy gets used to the concept quicker
• Start by using it for positive things like "ten more minutes until we go to the playground" so Mazzy doesn't only associate it with negative activities (going to bed) or ending positive activities (putting away the iPad)
• Give warnings as time passes ("five more minutes until we go to the playground…, two more minutes until we go to the playground") by pointing at the clock so she can visually see the difference
• When time is up (an optional bell will ding), blame the clock for the switch in activity. Like this:
DING!
"Ok, time is up! Time to put on your PJs!"
"But I want to watch one more video!!!"
"Sorry, babe. There is no more time!"
Point to clock.
Sounds pretty easy, right?
We have been using the Time Timer for about a week.
Here is what I have noticed so far:
1. Mazzy is definitely interested in the clock, in a good way.
2. Mike and I are now on the same page because we can both use the clock for reference. He doesn't have to remember what limit I set for Mazzy because it's right there in front of him. And we are both less likely to go against the other's wishes by allowing Mazzy additional time.
In other words— the timer not only makes setting limits easier, it makes us more apt to stick to them.
3. Mazzy is beginning to put up less of a fuss when we stick to the timer.
CASE IN POINT: Last night, I told Mazzy it was time to brush her teeth and she countered with, "No, I'm reading!"
So I said, "Okay, five more minutes of reading and then you have to brush your teeth."
To which Mazzy responded, "Show clock!"
I had forgotten but Mazzy had not.
Dr. B's brilliance strikes once again.
Right, I need one of these!
We totally need this. Anna is in hysterics at just about everything these days. Someone suggested using a timer app on my iPhone, but I’m pretty sure she would just get distracted and try to snatch it away to play “Talking Tomcat”. Thanks to you and Dr. B!
I use the timer on my cell phone all the time. It has sound effects and she gets to pick the sound (old car horn, motorcycle, duck, etc.) I even use it when she’s having a crying fit (ex. “You have 1 minute to cry it out and then you are done.”) and it works 80% of the time. The other 20% of the time she’ll cry “no timer, no timer” but that’s OK. I’ll take my wins when I can get them. I use it in the morning (“10 minutes of video time and then it is time to get dressed”) and at bedtime (“I will lay with you 2 more minutes and then it is time for me to leave and you to go to sleep.”)
I have a son who has a horrible time with transitions, and this is what we’ve been using for a while now. We need another one for the 2 yr old though….they are amazing!
I’ve been using this method to get my 5 year old to get ready faster in the morning. I have an app on my Android called “YATA! (Yet Another Timer App)” that gives a visual representation of time passing by using a traffic light. When I set it, it’s green. When there is about 20% of the time remaining, it turns yellow. When it goes off, it’s red.
When I wake her up, I just tell her I’m turning on the timer, start up the shortcut, and leave it propped on the dresser so she can see it. Now her 1 year old sister is starting to understand it and yells “Yellow, Sissy! Timer yellow!” on the morning’s where she’s running behind.
I’d say we’re down to about twice a month where she isn’t actually ready on time, instead of every. freakin’. day.
I think I need one of those for my husband!
Your Dr. B is pretty brilliant.
Ok now please design one that looks cool. 🙂 this thing is genius and so is Dr. B.
This is exactly what I’ve been looking for. I had been looking for some sort of programmable hour glass or something. This obviously makes more sense. I will Def be getting one. Thanks!
I may very well be purchasing this.
I like this a lot better than my “It’s about as long as one Dora.” method.
Haha….we call the shoulder disappearing noodling and if they ever give out oscars….well let’s just say she will need to clear a spot on her shelfs…
Genius! Bookmarking that for when Q is older. Like, in a few months!
Ditto!
Yep, I am moving on to this one too. I use the kitchen timer or thealarm/ “beeper” on my phone all the time, but I think the visual would be even better especially when we have to give up the ipad. I use my cell phone alarm clock whenever I am out at the playground or any play place. I get some strange looks sometimes, but it really helps cut down on melt downs when we need to leave. I can blame it on the phone. I tell them, the BEEPER says it’s time to go.
We get the disappearing shoulder all the time! Great tool — I was thinking about using just a kitchen timer, but this one’s just so cool. Wish it were $15 and not $30 though! I instituted the 5-min warning for bath time, and it’s been ok so far. It’s just getting him into the tub that’s a challenge at time. Tks for sharing!
Have you tried Kiddy Timer app?
http://www.limefuse.com/KiddyTimer/
I like the efforts you have put in this, thank you for all the great articles.