This weekend was a big weekend. On Sunday, I read my favorite post "Intruder in the House" for the Listen to Your Mother performance in NYC— my first live reading of my writing.
I sat seated on stage before my piece, scanning the sold out seats to pick out familiar faces— my family members, friends and co-workers, so honored they all came to see me. So honored to be amongst such great writers on stage.
I'm not going to lie— I was nervous. I didn't realize I would be nervous until the day of the performace, when old fears began to resurface.
A very long time ago (we're talking back when I wore friendship safety pins on my Keds and slouched E.G. socks over my jeans), I had dreams of being a Broadway actress.
I loved acting and singing and was in countless plays and musical performances up through high school, where I developed a terrible case of stage fright. It seems the combination of being a self-conscious teenager and putting your talents on display in front of your peers do not mix well.
It wasn't enough that I was afraid of performing badly or forgetting the words, I was most afraid of PEEING IN MY PANTS ONSTAGE.
Can you think of anything more embarrassing to happen to a teenage girl in front of their entire student body in a high school auditorium?
I credit my overactive imagination. I was like Speilberg thinking of worst possible end-of-the-world scenarios except on a much smaller scale.
I used to wait until the last possible moment and then try to relieve every last bit of liquid before I took the stage. If I misjudged the timing, I would go back and do it again, whether I had to pee or not, sprinting back from the bathroom to make my entrance— ensuring that I was always in a state of panic when I took the stage.
I remember during a final dress rehearsal, I tried to run through lines while being totally distracted by the supposed fullness of my bladder. You just peed before you got up here, I told myself— it's in your head.
Then my sub-conscious dared me to let my bladder loose to prove a point.
I remember the small trickle of pee that slid down my leg before I could stop it, then trying to get through the scene while wondering if anybody noticed. (Keep in mind— this was in high school, not after I had my fifth kid.)
It was enough to make me give it up for good.
Until Sunday.
I peed about twenty times before finally walking on stage, one last time practically delaying the opening of the show— old habits die hard.
And I thanked the production gods for putting me third in the line-up so I could get it over with and enjoy the rest of the show stress-free.
Once I was up there reading, I wish I could say that a different animal immediately took over. But I became very aware of my leg shaking as I began and silently cursed the fact that I had worn heels.
But the audience was very receptive and when I started listing the items my daughter had stolen from me to the 911 operator (read the piece if you have no idea what I am talking about), they erupted in laughter and applause so loud that I actually had to wait until it died down to continue.
There is nothing that feeds a performer more than laughter from an audience. I tried to soak up each moment for all it was worth.
When I sat back down, my intial reaction was one of relief. Not only had it gone well, but I had made it back to my seat with my bladder fully in tact.
But as I watched the other performers take the stage, it occured to me— I WANTED TO DO IT AGAIN.
I'm too old to let a teenage fear take away from a truly spectacular moment.
Next time, if there is a next time— I want the freedom to just enjoy it.
It's time to put this fear to bed.
Or lock it in the bathroom, where it belongs.
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What fear do you wish would die an ugly death?
Once, I played a really small role in a school play. And when I say small I mean maybe two minutes of onstage time, so really not that much.
But I went through every horror scenario that could happen to me: Peeing on stage, farting really loud, and, my worst fear, puking in front of the audience. I already saw the horrified expressions of all the onlookers as I emptied my stomach in front of them.
Luckily, the performance went well and I did not pee, fart or puke. But I can completely understand the stage fright you described above, I bet I would be just as nervous today.
So damn awesome. I cannot wait to see the ‘taped’ performance. I’m sure you were amazing! Congrats again. xoxo
Way to go! So proud of you for facing your fear. Wish I could have seen it in person!! If there is a video, you have to share it with us!
I wish I could get rid of the stage fright that constricts my vocal chords and takes away all my low notes when I try to sing. It started in college at school auditions and it was always terrible. One director even thought I was a soprano (which I am SO not).
For some reason, I did OK for speaking on stage and got cast as a witch in Macbeth thanks to my awesome cackling skills. One night before the performance, I ate something, shall we say, avant garde at the cafeteria and my stomach wasn’t loving it. The stage manager told me to leave the stage to hurl if it came to that and I warned the other witches that they might have to take my lines. But the second I hit the stage, the adrenaline hit and my stomach felt fine.
And yet, I’m a much better singer than actor, so go fig.
I remember how much I loved that piece when you first wrote it. I’m so glad you read it for everyone.
And that no pee was involved.
I also love to perform, but there is something about “imminent entry onto the stage” that makes you feel like you have to pee. I remember it always hit right before a dance number or theatre scene.
Thankfully, my bladder was still intact then.
I have the same nervous bladder so I understand this fear.
I am glad the show went well. I can’t wait to watch the video. 🙂
I’m so proud of and excited for you!
So awesome.
Congratulations on conquering your kidneys.
It’s a memory you will have forever; and now you know not to wear heels…
you were AMAZING!!!!! AH-MAZING!!!!
plus I got to see your “DEBUT” first hand!!! YAY!
Ok, this is probably gonna sound ridiculious – but you should totally buy discrete depends (it’s 2012, surely they have something like that by now!), or at least the jumbo sized pads – JUST IN CASE! LOL… no one has to know and then your worst fears are totally averted!! Just a thought… LOVED that piece! And SO glad you had a great time despite your fears. Such a cool thing to be able to tell your daughter someday! 🙂
Go you! So wish I’d been there to watch you read (and not pee on stage). That’s one of my favorite pieces of yours.
Yay for taking on the terror! I was in the audience at LTYM and agree, you were Awesome. And, as I’ve already told you, I’m infinitely more touched by the experience of and the courage of someone showing the truth of what they’re going through than by a polished smiley mask. In my book, vulnerability trumps EVERYthing.
Wish I could have been there! Way to go, Ilana!
I wish I didn’t have a fear of driving and being killed in a car accident. I have to spend a lot of time in a car, hoping I don’t kill my family in a crash.
And I had no idea you were thinking about pee dripping down your leg on Sunday. You killed it.
You were PHENOMENAL. Congrats again!!
Congratulations! My stage career began and ended in 6th grade when I played the doctor in MacBeth (I “set up” the famous “Out Damn Spot” scene). There’s a video of it somewhere… which I must find and burn.
After that, I remained a theater geek, but behind the scenes — playing violin in the pit orchestra. It was the best, we were “in” every scene, didn’t have to memorize our parts or worry about blocking/staging, etc. Often under-appreciated (if we were noticed, it was a bad thing), but it was such a good time. Some of my best memories of high school, including when I musical-directed the senior play and had to teach a bunch of football players how to sing “A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Forum” 😉
Damn, girl, you’re making me all nostalgic today..
So glad you had a great experience! I’d love to hear it live- I did love that post!
I loved that post – it was among the first of yours I ever read. Can’t wait to see your taped performance. I attended the DC show and it was phenomenal. I think I might even audition for next year’s show and I have a death fear of public speaking. Although somehow reading my own words that I practically know by heart doesn’t seem so bad.
And while I can’t say I’ve actually ever consciously feared peeing my pants in public, I do always have to make sure I go to the bathroom right before anything “major.” Like, say, getting married. Yup, five minutes before I was slated to walk down the aisle, I was suddenly all, “I gotta go pee!” For me, it’s more that I don’t want to have the distraction of a full bladder than a fear of actually wetting myself.
And if I do audition for and make the cast of LTYM next year, this is now what I will think about .
Glad you enjoyed the experience and are looking forward to the next one!
Congratulations on not peeing! It’s so true that after a big event like that is over, you totally want to get up and do it all over again. I always picture the woman who was the act right before the Von Trapp Family bowing and bowing and bowing and not wanting to leave the stage.
What do you mean that’s obscure? It’s The Sound of Music!
Illana …. you were great. And the delivery perfect. And you’ll see just how great you were when the YouTube videos are up. Proud to be in the room with you, and relieved to hear you were nervous, because truth be told — you were awesome.
ps. i wore a panty liner for well, you know, unexpected leakage.