One of Mazzy's favorite games to play is "Sleep". Which sounds awesome but unfortunately, Mazzy is much more into the "WAKE-UP!!!!" part of the game than the lay-your-weary-head-down-on-this-fluffy-pillow-and-get-some-much-needed-shut-eye part.
It goes down like this…
She shouts— "Everybody go to sleep!"
Mike and I lie down in the bed, foolishly thinking that we will be snuggled under the covers for a good three to five minutes. Nope. Two, maybe two and a half seconds later, Mazzy yells at the top of her lungs…
"TIME TO WAKE UP!!!!!!!!!"
Then, we must jump out of bed and fully stand up before the game can continue.
"Ok, everybody sleep!"
We lie down again. And on it goes until I feel like I am doing warm-up drills for the Olympics.
Mazzy is a very active kid who won't stand still unless she is physically restrained (or in the presence of an iPad). In contrast, I spend most of my time utterly exhausted and about to keel over. SO. I have made it my business to come up with games that we can play where one of us (me) is seated.
For instance, this Saturday was incredibly hot and humid. It was that thick hot wet air that makes you want to crawl inside your air conditioner and take nap in there until it's over. The last thing I wanted to do was take Mazzy outside to play.
Of course, she insisted. Since walking two blocks to the park was out of the question (did I mention how hot it was outside??), I ended up taking her to the communal rooftop of our building and having her run around up there.
"Play with me, Mommy!!!" No f'in way. Until I came up with the perfect game.
"Let's play Red Light Green Light!"
"OKAY!"
"You stand back there and I'll sit down over here with my back resting wonderfully up against the side of the building. Then when I yell 'green light' you run. When I yell 'red light' you stop."
"OKAY!"
"Green light!" She ran. "Red light!" She stopped. "Green light!" She ran. "Red light!" She stopped. And on and on until she had made it all the way to my reclining self. I didn't have to move a muscle.
"Alright, now go back and do it again!"
"OKAY!"
We played twice and then the inevitable…
"OKAY, now YOU RUN and I SIT!!!!"
"Sorry, sweet pea, time to go back inside…"
Another game I am a big fan of is "Homemade Blue's Clues". Make 5-10 blue pawprints (blue marker on white paper, than use scissors to cut them out, even a kindergartener possesses this level of craftiness) and tell your child to go in her room while you hide the clues about the house. Then you get to sit on the couch while she looks. IT'S AWESOME. The more Blue's Clues you make, the longer the game takes. You can even yell out misleading clues to their whereabouts while you put your feet up on the coffee table and check your email.
Or, how about "Pillow Pile-Up?" That's when I lie in bed or on the couch and Mazzy piles all the pillows she can find on top of me. I'm even allowed to close my eyes once the over-the-face pillow is administered. This works out great until the "Now I jump on top of the pillows!" portion of the game, which is usually followed by the "BE GENTLE WITH MOMMY!!!!" bonus round.
Here's another favorite. It's called "Go Get The". As in, "Go get the remote!" or "Go get me a tissue!" or "Go get the throw blanket and place it nicely over Mommy while she lies down for a moment!" The trick is to make each demand seem really exciting.
"The Window Game" is fun too. I tell Mazzy to sit by the window and tell me what she sees. "Do you see cars?" "Yes!" "What else do you see?" "I see buildings." "What else do you see?" "I see trees." "What… else… do… you… Zzzzzzzzz…."
Over at Nickmom, they are taking it one step further than playing in a reclining position. They've got the "Top 9 ways to Sneak in a Nap". Like building a pillow fort and then volunteering to test it out, playing "Hide & Seek" and then locking yourself in your bedroom, and my absolute favorite…
"Play doctor! But only the part where everyone takes Benadryl."
Better yet, forget "doctor". Play the game of "COMA"!
"Oh no, Mommy can't be revived!"
Such fun for everyone.
What half-assed games do you play with your kids that are actually designed to give you a little break?
I like to try “Daddy just got squashed like a pancake. What squashes people like pancakes? Big trucks, that’s right. What does daddy always say you’re supposed to do to not be squashed like a pancake by a big truck? Look both ways, good. And hold Daddy’s hand? That’s right, you get bonus points. Now, I’m going to moan here on the ground, and you need to pat me sweetly and say, ‘it’s okay daddy, it’s okay.’ When you get tired of that, you can play doctor and try to make me better. Here’s a roll of scotch tape. To put me back together again. That’s right, like Humpty-Dumpty. Have at it.”
I wouldn’t say half-assed for any of your games, because the kid is playing with you and having fun. Half-assed better describes the parenting of my husband and I letting the kids watch TV/movies upstairs while we obsess over True Blood downstairs. Ahem, but I digress …
To answer your question – What Time Is It Mr. Wolf ( you end up running but can delay it by choosing low times) and d’uh – Hide and Seek of course! Mommy hides really well! lol! Though we taught it too well, one time my 3 year old hid to avoid us (bedtime) and was so quiet we were seriously freaked out, not knowing where she was!
Ahhhh, this is hilarious. You forget too often that other moms are just as tired as you are and make up the same ridiculous games to trick their children. I love it.
We would play hide-and-seek and when he would hide we would sit on the couch and yell every few seconds, “we’re looking for you” and “we can’t find you” and then make walking noise on the floor, that would give us at least 10 min of rest time. Kind of felt bad but we could hear him giggling so he was happy.
We used to play “Monkey in the Courthouse.” It was really a game about being quiet, but it often lead to rest. It goes like this:
Mommy says, “Monkey in the Courthouse, monkey wants to speak. Speak, Monkey, speak!” And everyone would clam up because the first person to speak (kind of like a staring contest with sound) would be the monkey.
When I was a kid, I NEVER wanted to be the monkey. Nor did I want to lose any game of any kind. My kids? They yammer over each other to be the first monkey.
Jerks.
Glad you liked and shared my NickMom Top 9! You’re the best.
I also play cars with my son while I lay down, and he plays around me like there is hills and mountains and I barely hold a car or my car is parked.
I used to babysit for a preschool during parent meetings, as in 10-15 4 year olds and I was by myself. We played a lot of marshmallows. It goes like this: What do marshmallows do? (puzzled looks) That’s right! Nothing! Marshmallows sit VERY still and are VERY quiet. Now who can be the best marshmallow??
Just use an excited voice and ‘tut-tut’ whenever a kid breaks out in giggles. You can get as many as 5 quiet minutes if you’ve got competitive kids.
We used to play a lot of games while lying on the floor and I always fell asleep. Exhausted mama. I like the idea of getting buried under pillows, as long as they are gentle when they jump 😉
I told them to go hide once and that I would come find them. After about 12 announcements of “I’m coming! I’m gonna find you!” they got wise and were super pissed.
That is sooo funny! Reminds me of “Who Can be Quietest the Longest?” game I made up … obviously from descriptor, same idea. Count to three then whoever makes the first sound loses. Was brilliant for car rides – well, it was when my eldest was my only and into the second being a toddler. Then the youngest got old enough to “play” too – except her version is me saying “Who can be quietest the longest”, her saying “NOT ME!!!” then proceeding to ask in an increasingly agitated tone “Why aren’t you talking? Why is my sister not talking to me? ANSWER ME!!” combined with her sister who really DOES want the play the game and well … yeah. It was a short-lived brilliance apparently! 😉
I heard my daughter & her friend playing house the other day. My daughter told her friend, “Okay, you be the mommy & take a nap.” Because, apparently, that’s all I do around here according to her…
My husband plays “Frozen” where he pretends to be frozen in on the couch and the kids have to run around him in circles to try to generate enough heat to unfreeze him! If he falls asleep they are just not running fast enough! Brilliance!
HA HA That is one great post!! We’re always looking for new ways to laze around while the kids think we’re playing with them! We also play “we’ll hide the toy and you go find it” When the girls close their eyes, we throw a couple tiny stuffed animals behind bookshelves, behind the couch, under tables, anywhere we can throw them from where we’re sitting! Then they open their eyes and have to go find the toys we just “hid”! It’s one of our favs! LOL
That’s awesome. I love that you’re youngest got incensed over the silent treatment. Too funny.
Genius!
So funny! I’m totally taking notes for when/if hubby and I have kids.
It also reminds me of when I was 16 and one of my half-brothers was about 1 and 1/2. I babysat him a lot, and his favorite game was to bring me random objects and command me to “Sing!” Like he would bring me a toy kitty, and say, “Sing!” and I would have to make up a song about the kitty. The funniest part would be when he would take a toy to someone else and expect them to know the song I had made up. When they didn’t know it, he would sigh and look exasperated.
Love this post and love all the comments!!!!
Is Mazzy big enough to do your hair yet? That is my all-time favorite. Hairdresser!! It involves me sitting on a pillow on the floor leaning against the couch and getting a head massage with my eyes closed.
It only works when they’re old enough to brush gently…before that, it’s just sitting on the floor while somebody rips your hair out by the handful.
But when they reach that magic age. Sigh.
haha, I make up songs too, and my kids prefer them to traditional ones … not sure why as they sure aren’t clever! But then my kid gets so upset when she is somewhere that a song request can be made, and no- one knows ” The Mommy Song” …. and I am way too embarrassed to sing it! lol!
* the songs. The songs aren’t clever. My kids are quite bright … unlike their Mom who needs to proofread better … ((facepalm))
Oh man you all are hilarious and geniuses. I’m definitely going to try some of these. We’ve done the quiet game, but my crazy 6yo will start giggling 30 seconds later and there goes that. It was nice while it lasted though. Hair and make-up are the best. I like the playing cars idea too. will definitely try that. blues clues and window are also must-trys.
I love it! There is no shame in sly, nap-friendly games. On the contrary, you deserve bragging rights.
Being avid thrift-shoppers and collectors of silly, mid-90’s figurines, we have too many little trinket-toys. We keep ’em hidden for rainy day games. One of our favorites is hiding a few of Jake’s favorites all over the house, and drawing a map, with stickers marking the spots (basically your Blues Clues game). I lounge while he searches and rejoices over the rarely-seen toys.
Pure joy.
Right on! Depending on the delicacy of your little one, this could be really, really relaxing. Your hair will look worse than before, but the relaxation is oh, so worth it.
haha the go get this game we call it the gopher game and she crawls on the floor like an animal while she goes for this or goes for that…my fave mommys sick game ever!!!
My niece was the best ever at this. Hours of intricate, delicate braids. It was better than a massage. She’s 14 now and for some reason significantly less interested in playing beauty shop. 🙁 my six year old does ok but man do I miss her cousin’s magic braiding fingers.
When Alyssa was two, I could get 15-20 minutes in the early morning with two questions: “Who loves you, Alyssa?” “Mommy and Daddy and Grandma and Papa…” “And who do you love?” “Mommy and Daddy and Grandma and Papa…” It was great!
This morning, ‘we’ played Candy Land. My daughter drew the cards for me and moved my guy while I cleaned the kitchen. ‘We’ had lots of fun, until I won…Apparently a 4 year old doesn’t know how easy it would be to cheat with that set up. lol
I like the scotch tape idea. I see hours of enjoyment. I bet you can even read a book while they have at it.
Googling “What time is it Mr. Wolf” right now… And please don’t worry. There is plenty of— you watch Dora on TV while I watch HBO on my phone with ear plugs on in my house too.
Maybe you could record a tape of your guys yelling and making stomping sounds and then you wouldn’t have to do ANYTHING!
I’ve tried to play the quiet game with Mazzy and either she just doesn’t get it or she’s totally on to me. Either way, it’s a no go.
That sounds like a game I could into. Must buy Mazzy more cars….
I always lie curled on my side so I can shield my face and my belly. I don’t trust my daughter as far as I can throw her.
That is some seriously thought-out bullshit. I’m stealing it!
Love that you don’t even get up to hide the toys. That is a serious devotion to staying parked on the couch. I like it.
At the moment, doing my hair means hitting my head with the back of the brush. Or, sometimes she gets the brush turned in the right direction but it’s usually on the days where my hair is tightly pulled back in a pony tail. Not for long, obviously.
The map suggests actual good parenting. But I do like the idea. Maybe on a really motivated day…
“Sleeping Lions” is excellent. The kids lie on the floor and pretend to be sleeping lions, not allowed to move a muscle or make a sound. Winner is the last person to move. All the better if they want to swap place and let you have a turn!
My husband used to play drive through with my niece. He would sit in the chair and pretend he was driving a car. My niece would take his order and then jump up to get him what he ordered at the drive through window. It lasted a long, long time!
Oh, how lucky you were. Hope your 6 y/o jumps on the braiding train 🙂
Oh no! My nephew thought he’d mimic the girls and “do my hair”, but he fiercely tied knots. Literally, knots. He was ousted.
Good parenting, I suppose. But the map isn’t intended to teach navigation skills as much as it is meant to stump the little dude.
I love the red light, green light! I love how you told her it’s time to go in when it was your turn to run. haha. Yesterday, I sang ring around the rosie, fast and slow, and my son went around in circles and fell down for about 15 min. Then he wanted me to play. What the heck. I don’t go to the gym anymore ;).
i am stealing every single one of those games. they’ll come in handy on those weekend mornings – when all i wish is to drink my coffee when its hot 🙂
My mom used to chant this to us.
No telling if she made it up or stole it, but here ya go. It is so f’in creepy it is guaranteed to get your brats to shut their pie holes.
“QUAKERS MEETING HAS BEGUN.
NO MORE LAUGHING, NO MORE FUN!
FOR IF YOU DARE TO CRACK A SMILE
YOU WILL WALK A QUAKER’S MILE”
Whatever bull we were pulling ended because those Quakers sound like jerks and we assumed their mile was probably ten times the distance of a normal one.
Once, in Colonial Williamsburg, when we were having one of these fun “meetings” in our station wagon with wood paneling, my sister blurted out, “this place blows” and they pulled over and told us to walk a Quaker’s mile. They drove off and we just stood there. Pretty sure you go to jail for that these days, but she never talked during another Quaker’s Meeting again! Ever!
Here’s a post we wrote last year: “Sleeping Beauty” and Other Games that Let Mommy Snooze.
http://alphamom.com/family-fun/sleeping-beauty-and-other-games-that-let-mommy-snooze/