If you know a mother of twins, chances are, at some point, she has uttered the following words:
"You think having one is hard, try having TWO."
Then you are left to feel like a total jackass for being overwhelmed by the simple task of keeping alive a single human being.
Well, my friend Nicole (aka Ninja Mom) is guest posting today so that she can clear up this common misconception. She's here to tell you— moms of twins are FULL OF SHIT. Yep, they've been riding the "twins are SO HARD" sympathy train for far too long.
Nicole's got twins, the matching set of girls pictured up top, so we can trust her when she says, "Don't feel bad for ME. You're the one who's SCREWED".
Allow her to explain why having kids is easier when you birth them in pairs…
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Scene:
You're in a crowded grocery store. You see a mother struggling to haul two baby
car seats through the door. Stray sweaty hairs are slicked to her
cheeks and forehead. There's an open diaper bag, precariously close to spilling two-babies worth of supplies at her feet. Her eyes seem frantic;
her breathing is rapid and shallow. You're worried for her well-being.
Don't be.
Sure, she
squeezed two humans out of her hoo-ha (or her incised abdomen), and sure, I may
have dropped the babies on their heads—I mean "she" may
have!—when she was still trying to
breastfeed them both at the same time (go ahead, picture it). But a day will
come when she will see you, mother of singletons, at a park playing the Malificent
to her child’s Sleeping Beauty, and twin
mom will hide a chuckle beneath her hand because the secret to happy parenting
is having them in pairs.
Don’t believe me? A little pro con list ought to set you
straight.
Grocery Shopping, Twins vs. Singleton
Everyone
stops baby mommas at the store to coo over their finally snoozing baby. But infant twins solicit
something infant singletons do not. Help. Your cute singleton will be loved and
admired by old ladies, cashiers, and mothers who’ve just had their tubes tied. But when
you have twins, these same people will also load your groceries into your
car. You poor dear, you’ve got your hands full!
Tantrums, Twins vs. Singleton
So, you’ve got yourself a walking, talking, tantrum throwing
toddler. When he’s facedown on the Walmart
floor screaming for a cookie, people will tsk, tsk and shake their heads. Unless you have twins. When you have one twin on the floor and the other is sitting quietly with his hands and feet to himself, they will assume it’s the kid, not you. After all, you have one trained like a monkey, the
other must be defective.
Playtime, Twins vs. Singletons
You like
playing hide and seek? No? How about Candyland? Make-believe? Legos? Watching
Calliou? Of course, you don’t. Only deranged adults and other children enjoy these things. And
that’s exactly what twins are.
Other children. So when your singleton has you pretending to be the Man in the
Yellow Hat, there’s a mom of multiples somewhere
making that kid’s twin do it.
Potty Training, Twins vs. Singleton
When your singleton four-year-old is still having accidents,
people assume you, mom, are doing something wrong. When it’s a twin, chances are they
look a lot younger than their chronological age and, hey, no one needs to know
your diaper-wearing teenagers aren't wittle babies anymore.
Volunteerism, Twins vs. Singletons
Of course
you can’t do it all, twin mom! Why,
you must be busy as a bee making two lunches, laundering two sets of
clothes, helping with two sets of homework. The PTA understands that you simply
can’t find the time to volunteer.
That’s what the moms of singletons
are for! (And if you do volunteer, twin mom, well, you’re just awesomesauce, aren’t you?)
The moral
of the story is that if you want your parenting life to go more smoothly (not counting the need to cart twice as many
things, buy twice as many toys, and remember twice as many social security
numbers)—have twins!
Or test it out by borrowing a friend’s kid that could pass for your kid's double. Then skip the under-eye concealer. Make like you’re exhausted and beleaguered. Watch the sympathy roll in!
It’s practically a cake walk.
Albeit one where you have two college funds, two sets of crooked teeth in need of braces, two school trips to pay for…
…and eventually two tween girls that will get their period at once.
I
assume all my delusional BS will be out the window once the tandem PMS starts. So,
let me have my moment, singleton moms. You can laugh at me in ten years when I’m crying in the tampon aisle loading super-sized bottles of Midol into my cart.
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Read more from Nicole on Ninja Mom.
Ha, so funny! I am sure the first six months or so though is way harder, trying to tagteam feeding and changing and comforting twins! You do make good arguments for the rest of the time though, lol! But I have to say – if you don’t like playing Hide and Go Seek, all that is telling me is you clearly do not understand “Mommy version” i.e. hide well enough they can’t find you so you get to hang out alone in a darkened but at least quiet place for awhile, and seek poorly enough your kids remain hidden from you … if they enjoy a challenge of finding you, and giggle when thinking they have bested you by hiding so well, what’s not to like? 🙂
This article is FULL OF SHIT. Having one baby would be an absolute breeze, having twins is not easy and keeps you sleep deprived and hungry.
Sleep deprived? My girls have slept through the night since 2 months on. Now they’re 15 months and I slept 9 hours last night. Guess it just depends on the kids. Mine are pretty easy and I love that I only had to go through pregnancy and delivery once and my girls each have a sister. Couldn’t have worked out better.
Sorry you can’t relate.
So you’re going to marginalize this person’s experience because you got oh so lucky and had good twins that slept through?
Well hate to break it to you, most twin parents aren’t lucky like that.
You shouldn’t reply with stuff like this if you don’t know.
I have read many reviews on how Clomid helps to increase our chances of conceiving twins. I am 30 yrs old and always had slightly irregular periods. The cycles could range from 30 days to 45 days… After a couple of months of trying to conceive with my husband, my period suddenly stopped altogether for a couple of months for no reason. I tested negative on pregnancy tests. So I got 50mg of Clomid that i took for one course on cd3-7 and i immediately became pregnant with twins! My insurance didn’t cover Clomid. So I got it online (thanks google). My sister gave me the code * CLO4MULT * ❤️ and she said ‘just Google it’.
Well, I may have exaggerated a teensy bit.
Thanks for sharing my nonsense!
The pics provided were so perfect! Dead on what goes on in our house. So funny, all of it. 🙂
Ha ha! I have 8 year old b/g twins and now that the first 6 months are a distant memory, this was pretty damn funny! Totally agree about the built-in playmate. It is pretty genius.
Wait until the extracurricular activities kick in at the same time, though. It is pretty much back to square one.
Amen to that, Kelly. I’ve got to sell so many damn Girl Scout cookies this year . . . And the ballet . . . and the, never mind. Let’s pretend it’s all unicorns and sunshine, shall we? 😉
As a mom of twins, I can say that not having to play Candyland and Barbies is really a huge perk! But I’ll be standing next to you in the tampon aisle, and I ain’t lookin’ forward to it 😉
My faves are the built-in playmate, really wish I had one of those. And the tantrum in the store which is the kid’s fault, not yours. Haha.
I totally just got a very vivid image of breast feeding two babies at once, ha! You must have milk pouring out of your boobs at all times. But hey, the more the merrier!
Oh, for crying out loud, Nicole. Did you have to go and expose all our secrets in one post? You could’ve just mentioned one or two. now my sympathy train’s gonna derail. Thanks…;)
Oh yes – so very true about the playmate. That part of having multiples is fantastic. Another thing some assume is so much harder, is the workload. I tell them it’s not THAT much different than one baby. I treat mine as a unit and do everything one time, but just three times in a row. The only difference is my tasks take longer. The only part that is and will always be harder, is the sibling fighting that comes from having kids the exact same age and same maturity level. No one steps up to the plate to be the hero and walk away.lol
I’ve always said twins is easier than a singleton! But, I DO think having twins is different than having kids close together. I STILL think that would be harder. Mine go through all the same stages at the same time. We conquer an issue and it’s over with rather than having to go through it again in a few years with a sibling.
Mother of 2 1/2 yr old twin girls and I agree the whole play mate thing yes ….but far as help from others I just got stares and stopped a lot and oh you poor child ( I’m 27 yrs old) I’ve had the door held open for me once being 110lbs caring 2 infant cars seats and trying to get my at the time 3 yr old son to walk along side of me…..it’s not easy having twins at all other the. At this age they can keep each other company grocery shopping usually takes about 2-3 trips in a wk bc you can’t fit everything in your cart, your twins are screaming you forget things and people just want to awe over. Them when all you want to do is get the hell out of there lol
She must be speaking about her own personal situation no kids are the same ya we might go through the process with twins at the same time but let me tell you it’s so much harder than singletons I have a 3 yr old boy and 2 yr old twins so ya I have triplets which is triple harder the tantrums jealousy and screaming and crying never stops did I mention my twins were colic ya not fun at all. I don’t get any sympathy from anyone. I don’t care for it either. The one thing I hate the most is when people stare at you when kids are screaming in public
Like your not uncomfortable enough stupid people have to sit there and make it worst I swear I can beat the hell out of some people in public because of this I don’t understand what there starring at do they want me to beat my child and if I do will they be satisfied or will they then play the mother abusing her children role give me a break it’s far from easy so I’d say anyone who says being a mom of twins is extremely hard kudos to all twin moms and moms of multiple babies were not full of shit we are true parents and anyone who calls us full of shit probably has nanny ‘s. I don’t trust anyone other than myself with my babies after all God gave them to me to raise not for me to have a nanny teach them.
Wow. You should really check your grammar! Sounding like a high school drop out REALLY doesn’t help good comments!
ha ha ha…hysterical! LOVE this!
I am a mom of twins (now 6.5 years old) and a 3 year old. I will say having two simultaneously was definitely harder (like tasks taking longer, less portability, less sleep, etc) than having one in so many ways….but at 6.5 it’s pretty cool. They are each others best friend (sometimes – other times WORST enemies). My twins are ENORMOUS (97% for height) so when I finally quit working TWO full time jobs to stay home with them, when we went out I was tsk’d all the time for them “not being in school”. Ummmm….yeah crazy lady wagging her finger at me, they’re only 4!!! I think now the biggest challenge is the insane level of sibling rivalry (and I have a boy and a girl!!! Couldn’t image the same sex!!).
I am insanely busy (I don’t know how NOT to be busy) so I’m at a point now (2 businesses, PTA pres, volunteer and waitress at night) that when a person with one kid tells me they don’t have time for something I want to punch them in the ovaries (as their kid sits quietly entertaining themselves while she sips her latte and reads a magazine and my 3 are having the MOST fun playing Power Rangers in the library and the twins are screaming over who is the better reader!).
With all this said….my 3 year old is as challenging as challenging can be!!! He refuses to be potty trained, stay in his bed at night, the list goes on and on. I sometimes find myself fondly looking back at those hazy crazy early days of twindom and double breastfeeding and double poopie diapers and think…ahhh…those were the easy days! LOL 🙂
This is hilarious!!! “Moms of twins are full of shit!!!” Picture this; “Come home after day 3 of c-section, no family member close by, few friends who are also busy with thier multiple sigletons, your c-section boobo hurts like hell, doctor tells you, don’t do any heavy lifting or tasks, (you must be sending me home with a nanny, doctor!). Day one at your home, tired as hell because you are doing everything(the nurses didn’t come home with you, ha!). Hubby has to go to work because his one week off is up already, got to feed 5 mouths right now instead of 3. Yep, theres a seven year old who’s had you all her life and now the attention has to be split 3 ways. Your nightmare becomes going to bed at night because you’ll be lucky if you get a total of 4hours of sleep at once. Your nipples are so sore you can hardly cover them with your bra(yes, singleton moms go through that too, but wait until you have twins!) You change many many dodos you don’t even smell them anymore. Outings are a nightmare, its in and out as quickly as you can. you can only window shop if you are able to gather the strength to pack extra this and that. Dont you dare go inside that store! you might come out “the hulk!” Well, lets skip ahead, shall we. The almost 5yr olds and the almost 12 are butting heads constantly, or just the twins. They do play very well though, but not without a fight every 30mins or so. They have to have the same thing; they both want the pink shirt in your right hand or the one on top if for any reason you try to out smart them by adding left shirt to right. Goodnight at night is another battle, both want to be the last to say goodnight. School extra-curricular activities are endless, back to school night for twins and a singleton, parent teacher meeting can all take a big toll on you.” I thought having a singleton was hard until i had twins. Of course twinny moms are full of shit! Because we’ve been shit on so many times!!!
I knew it!
Damn my ovaries and their single-egg-release feature.
I’m in the tampon aisle…..they got it together, and the PMS schedule in my house is horrendous – poor DH – the only male in sight – he never gets a hot shower, a dry towel or orange juice – and now he has to deal with four women PMSing – it is a wonder he still lives with us –
Paige, it’s okay. We flash our stomach and the sympathy rolls back in.
YES! I always said twins are like having one-and-a-half kids because you take care of them as a unit. Until both are puking at the same time. Then it’s like a thousand kids.
soooooooooooooo true. thats why i just don’t make eye contact and walk as fast as i can! {i have 24 month old twins and a 2 month old!}
hahahahahaha. i have three under two and i think the whole “my one baby is overwhelming” is hilarious. i know one can be, but let’s be real, two and three are WAY harder.
I dont have twins but I can say this is true! my kid goes to daycare with twins and every time I see her I try to help her with whatever I can, open the door for her, help with a diaper bag. I keep thinking, I have a hard time with one, I couldn’t imagine having two!
Dang it! I knew I screwed this up by having my kids one at time. Off to be jealous of all the moms of twins I know…
I have actually hid under the covers in my own bed.
(a mom of 4-year-old twins)
So funny! I could totally relate to the benefits of having a constant playmate. When we had only one daughter, I was on duty 24/7. She didn’t have somebody else to play with so I was her playmate. Now, with twins toddlers, I think that two at home is actually easier than just having one at home. I do actually get a little downtime when they are playing with each other.
My girls are only 5 1/2 months old, so I’ve yet to experience many of the “perks” of having 2-for-1 babies. Right now they barely acknowledge one another… To the point where one often refuses to even LOOK at her sister. I really hope it’s not an indication of things to come… Or I’m screeewed.
Thanks for letting us in on the real truth, now I really want me some twins, well at least until they grow into teenagers.
Yes, let’s.
Not funny, genuinely frustrating to read if you’re a parent of twins.
Lisa my name is Lisa too funny because I am in the same sit with a husband working all the time and twins baby girls (no family to help)who thinks it’s the same or easier must have a ton of family help or is on antidepressants or some drug because I also have a seven year old a it was a piece of cake nothing like taking care of my twins on my own.I guess I agree this is funny because it’s a joke but it’s also offensive because ONLY a twin mom really can tell you how hard it is!!!!!
I know this thread is old. But I agree with you. It’s in no way easier. I have a 6 year old, a 5 year old, and my twins are 2…and one has CP. no one loads my groceries…this funny article actually irritated the bejesus out of me
Want to clarify. Being a parent of twins is FANTASTIC, by far the most fun thing to happen to me in my life. Just don’t think parents of singletons need more examples of why their life is easily as tough as someone with multiples. I’ve heard about that quite enough. I’ve heard “i basically have twins” or “I had my kids a year a part so it’s like twins only harder (which was a choice of the person saying this)” far more than I or my wife have uttered “having twins is so much harder”.
I always knew those parents of twins I saw with sweatpants, milk stains on their shirts and holding one bottle in their teeth and the other with their toes were pulling off an elaborate ruse! Seriously though, you never fail to make me laugh.
My twins do this too! My little girl loves looking at her brother and smiles and laughs at him and he just completely ignores her. Sometimes I think he’s going to twist his head right off in his attempt to avoid looking at her! Maybe it has something to do with her kicking him in the head every time he moved while I was pregnant with them!
Nice try! You’re still a hero to me, woman. 😉
I am still in awe of you. Nursing two babies at one time. Incredible. You deserve a cape, and all the help you receive.
Yeah, I made have exaggerated the help aspect. It might be more accurate to say there’s tons of sympathy, help optional.
I try very hard to ignore the future for this very reason.
The beginning is a whole ‘nother story. Not only was that a wee bit tougher than my singleton (read: sometimes excruciating), I don’t think I looked up for over 8 months. My head was constantly angled down at babies on changing tables, in cribs, being fed, getting clothed . . .
I only nursed two for a few weeks. I had it down at the hospital, but lost my touch at home. I just couldn’t get them both to stay latched at the same time and I couldn’t fathom feeding one at a time. I was so tired. So, I pumped instead. For a month or so, though, I kicked ass as Major Boobinator.
I see my piece didn’t appeal to you. It happens. Humor strikes people differently.
I’d explain myself, but I imagine that won’t change your mind. Good luck finding a piece you do like, it’s a big internet.
I used to be able to bottle feed the twins with one hand. I’d place them next to each other on the floor, prop two bottles between the man fingers on one hand, and hold those suckers in their mouths.
Related: I give a mean hand job. Zoinks!
You need better heroes. 🙂
I have been the man in the yellow hat so many times. I can’t wait for little brother to get just a little older. Two-in-two-years may not be twins, but it’s worth something. Come to think of it, I should stop correcting people.
This might very well be true, but I’m not about to test it out. Congrats to you for looking on the bright side!
XOXO
I find that this is also true for moms with more than one child! I can go to the store and have my six year old throw a screaming tantrum over junk food, but people still see my 8 year old and 5 month old smiling and minding me! Thankfully my big boys still like playing with the baby too!
Oh I don’t think you exaggerated at all! I had a conversation with my mom while the 3 yr old twins were playing in the baby pool. While we were sunning, I asked her if it was suppose to be this easy? She said no, if you had 1 you would be in the pool with them. So true! I wouldn’t trade having twins for the world.
You have no idea. I was a milk machine! Over 60oz a day and once they hit 3 months double feeding was a life saver/time saver. I remember the first few months seemed like one really long day-feed baby A burp and put down (45-60 min), feed baby B burp and put down (45-60) min, pick up the crying gassy one, 30 minutes on “me time” (insert laugh), and start all over again.
Then there is the baby roulette. When they are about 3 months old and you are begging for sleep and 1 baby wakes up to eat. You feed them…but when you are done and the fall fast asleep… Do you A) wake the next baby to sleep feed or B) chance that they will sleep another 2 hrs or will you go back to he’d and just start to fall asleep and baby B now wakes up and you are on this terrible schedule and get no sleep for the rest of the night because your rotation is now off by 45 minutes?
But again, I don’t know how I did it, but I wouldn’t change a thing.
That sounds like the nightmare version of breastfeeding twins that I tried ridiculously hard to avoid. Brava, mamma! I was either getting them both on the boob at the same time or not at all.
I did try to sleep/nurse with this BS position I found in a twin book. Lay on your side at a 45 degree angle tilting toward your back. One babe on the bed-down boob, and the other laying face-down on top of you in the vicinity of the “up” boob. HA! Nope.
Love this, Nikki. You are brilliant! My cousin has twins and I got to see her tandem breast feed once. She could have sold tickets. What an amazing feat of coordination that was. You know, I never understand people who say to other mothers “I don’t know how you do it!” They may as well say, “Boy am I glad I’m not YOU!” Can’t we all just get along? (Bitch.) Every family has its pros and cons. Being able to find the humor, regardless of your family size is definitely the way to go, and you do that perfectly! XO
Love this Nicole!! I had twins my first pregnancy. I actually thought it was pretty easy. I was never bored, I always had something to do, and I got lots of attention from people. What more is there?
lol! My other favourite game was “Who can be quietest the longest” as my eldest was a champ and wanted to win. My second one when she was old enough to play quickly piped up”Not me! Mom? Mom! MOM! Why aren’t you talking to me mommy? Um, OK! I guess I will just talk to MYSELF then!!” (to clarify, I was not merely ignoring her, I was still entered into the silence contest with my older child, who actually enjoys the game and gets annoyed when it ends too quickly even if she had won).
You almost had me there… up until the puberty thing. No thanks, I already have enough kids to hide from when their awkward(er) years roll around.
Love this! My twins are now 9 so the sympathy has ended (it’s way too easy now to even try), but I love, love, love this perspective. I’ve always told friends, yes, it was hard for a time, but then so fun! And besides, I never had a napping infant and a 3 year old running around driving me crazy – now that looks hard!
I blogged the same thing when my triplets were babies. You definitely get cut a LOT of slack. Mine are 5 now, and I still get it (which I don’t deserve, but I’ll take it. ha!)
Here’s my post:
http://pyjammy.com/?p=2721
I’m not a twin mom, but my boys are 13 months apart, and I can relate to almost all of these. Although, we didn’t get to treat them as a single unit until recently (they’re now 3 and 4), I love the closeness and the bond they share. In fact, we just had #3, a girl, three months ago and I really want to have another one ASAP so my daughter can experience this closeness as well. 🙂
Awesome. I do that too but not for hide and seek. 😉
Ok I have two adopted boys who are 5 months apart so its *kind of* like having twins and *kind of* like having 2 close together. The stages seem to last forever because precisely 1 day after the older one gets throu gh it, the younger starts it. But they are the same size and close developmentally. They’re both 3 now and its starting to get easier finally. The playmate thing is getting super awesome!
As I was laughing through your post I was thinking Braces! Periods! College! No rose colored glasses for you. You’ll rock being a teen mom. Wait. I mean a mother of teens. Whatever. I’m so tortured by the hormones in my house you’re lucky I’m typing. Ellen
As a fellow twin mommy (though mine are boys) I 100% totally agree. My twins are almost 6 and my singleton (which I get made fun of for calling 1 child a singleton but you get it) is 2 1/2 years. I wished and hoped and prayed that he was twins when we got pregnant with him, no such luck but he is pretty perfect.
I am a mother of twin girls that are now 24 years old. They have an older brother, 31. I was a single parent; I volunteer head start, they were in separate classrooms;I worked part-time; went to college part-time; and we attend church whenever the church doors were opened. I just did what had to be done;yes, when they were babies, it may haven taken me 3 hours to get through the grocery store, because everyone was in awe over twins; if one didn’t think of mischief, the other one would. I was told by a very dear friend, years ago, that the Lord blesses special people with twins/multiples. I am truly bless and wouldn’t change it for anything.
This is so true Nicole, especially the part about not having to play with them. My kids constantly entertain each other, with a whole bunch of fighting and arguing in between, but I rarely have to play anything.
I have too LOL – also a mother of twins 🙂
I always wanted twins wanted to keep trying to get them but hubby said NO…………..my sister had twins the little cow………I mean………no I mean cow……..lol
My twins are only 8 months old and I guess I’m still too exhausted to have a sense of humor about this. I call B.S. I’m also insulted. Hopefully after I’m able to get some sleep (yanno, in a couple of years) I’ll revisit this and have a laugh.
You almost had me – until the periods at the same time. Yowza. I have two girls who are 2.5 years apart and holy hell, I am not looking forward to the years of simultaneously raging hormones in this house. When it starts, I might have to ever-so-conveniently start traveling for work. A lot.
I have a friend who is the mother of twins, and she had a few more Benefits of Twins to add to your list:
1) NOBODY asks when you are going to have another child. You can be done in just one shot, and nobody raises an eyebrow.
2) If you breastfeed them, you never have to worry about your boobs being unbalanced.
That being said, as a mother of four kids, I can still honestly say, twins scare the crap out of me. And if we had to deal with puberty hitting the house all at once, my husband would definitely leave the house to go and build houses in Mongolia. So my hat is definitely off to you all.
Exactly! 1 and a half is the perfect way to describe it.
You have 1 feeding…but every time it’s just longer and there’s more food on the ground.
Maybe it’s because I’m a Dad, so I approach it differently (I’m a stay at home Dad, I work freelance so my hours are weird), but I never take our boys to the store. Why would you? The cart only has 1 kid slot!!!!
We only take them to Costco that has two slots.
One of us goes during their nap or after their asleep…and guess what….our lives are so much easier and our grocery trips are quick, easy and tantrum free,
Yeah, upon reading this I was initially angry like Brad. I’m a mostly stay at home dad. But then I realized your article is being ridiculous and funny. All the points you make, except the playmates one, have to do with the perception of others, and actually don’t have anything to do with the real work that goes into caring for twins.
I got offered a lot of help when we went shopping. Not by the employees but by other shoppers. I guess I looked like I needed it. I had three babies in a year. I was hauling twins in car seats and their 11 months older brother around. I had them when he was only 11 months old. And since they were preemies, the monitors had to go with them too, even after they were cleared for public outings. It was exhausting and 5 years later, it still is. But you get damn good at diaper changing and multi tasking.
I love this!! My big sis has twins but I have ‘Irish triplets’ (3 born in 31 months), plus an 8-year-old, and guess whose life’s tougher? Hers, of course ;)))
wow … sounds you’re really multi-tasking!! I have much respect for what you must be going through …
That’s so funny. I just had my second and my first was so hard that it is a million times easier with my not quite two year old and my newborn than it ever was with just my first as a newborn. I can’t get over how easy my life is now that my first is bigger and doesn’t cry ALl THE TIME because my second is a normal baby who actually sleeps.
I have two ways if thourght here it’s not all help and can I do for you can I carry for you blah blah it’s a stupid and unrealistic thing to say…as a mother of b/g twins myself and being their only carer since the age of two, the twins are nearly three now, I dont find this at all !! I have been lucky enough to scrape 9 hours per 7 days where I can go to the docs dentist have a bath in peace talk on the phone etc etc it may just be where I live but it is ludicrous to believe that this really is the real world!! I will agree however that they do play together and can leave you with 10 mins to empty the dishwasher without “help” but that 10 easy/quiet mins has just made you loose 20 in toy clearing? And two can and do make more mess than one!! It is hard for some people with multiple births as not every one has doting grandparents not everyone has a doting daddy for their perfect twin birth.. Some struggle everyday with no help, there is no government help for multiple births health visitors have 6 listening visits per person….!! All the multiple birth websites offer words and no practical help and then I fall upon this which is also no help!! All this said and done my twinnies are excellent little people and I wouldn’t change mine for the world either I believe there are pro’s and con’s to having twins by yourself or with a loyal father but saying were a full of shit isn’t really an accurate discription of what having twins is like, you stay with your rosé coloured glasses and ill stay feet well on the floor, I’m proud to be a mum of twins but for so many reasons that are so far away from yours :o) peace love and light to all
Imagine… me as a 21 yr old mother trying to single-handedly feed three babies (one with a bottle). Hell on Earth. Believe me.
I love this. I have a 15 mo singleton and expecting spontaneous twins in September. My first won’t even be 2 yet. I’ve already changed my shopping schedule so that I never have to take the kids shopping. I may just take one at a time. I can’t imagine pushing a stroller and a cart. I got stopped a lot by strangers with my first…I can’t imagine how long it would take to get through a pack of strangers with twins.
I understand completely…I have twin boy and girl…and I am about to lose my mind..they just turned 4 and where as a single 4 year old chatter box is cute…2 is nerve wracking
I have 16 month old twin girls and I have learned to master pushing a stroller and pulling a grocery cart. The longest we have spent in a store was 3 hours on a Saturday because we were stopped by 4 or 5 people that wanted to share their twin story. I never knew twins were that common!
You’ve got to be kidding me. All but one of those is a comment on the sympathy or reactions of other people. There is something to be said for having another kid to play with, that’s a perk. But unless, truly, the hardest part about mothering for everyone is THE THOUGHTS AND COMMENTS OF PEOPLE IN PUBLIC, then there’s only really one point to this list.
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Not everyone has the option;) I’m a military wife with 7 month old twin girls and my family is across the country and my husband is gone. And pretty often too!
I’m a mom of triplets and a singleton…I can tell you right now—LOVE having ONE! This is what motherhood should be. I got a lot of unwanted attention with the trio (as they slowed down a hurried, exhausted mom as I desperately tried to find a way to get 3 kids in a shopping cart and out the door before one of the variables erupted or got the other 2 doing something stupid), and they are soooo different personality-wise, we’re still waiting for the “built in playmate” part. Hubby and I are stuck taking turns entertaining all 3 separately while they play with their preferred toys/games. Plus, I’ve been chewed out by a lady at Target before when 1/3 threw a holy fit. People are more than happy to give you evil stares and looks regardless if there is another child or two who are not acting up. And unfortunately, people are NOT as willing to be helpful as you might think. Maybe it’s our area, but people will be happy to comment, but holding the door or loading your groceries doesn’t EVER happen. I think there’s a lot of grass is greener out there and myths. Everyone’s situation is so different. The built-in playmate is a 50/50 deal and LARGELY deserved after all the expense, juggling and sleep deprivation of 3 unique individuals while being heavily outnumbered from day one. I don’t get why moms of one feel like it’s a competition??? Who cares???
Ha ha, the 3rd pic look so cute, by the way, some people who want to have twins usually feel too fear if one day they find it difficult to care their two children .. based some opinions that you been written, it seems that have twins baby now looks more interesting. For those of you who want to have twins, could see this href=”http://pickthegenderofyourbaby.com/how-to-have-twins.html” – about making twin baby.. thanks Nicole
Sorry about broken link, here’s the true.. thanks again.
https://www.mommyshorts.com/2013/01/5-reasons-having-twins-is-easier-than-one.html
and other one : http://pickthegenderofyourbaby.com/how-to-have-twins.html
This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Having one baby is harder than twins? I have never had anyone carry my groceries out or offer any extra help than I would have received had I just had one baby. You don’t want to be playing candy land with your child? Teach them to play by themselves. Anyone who has struggled with juggling two little babies will be disgusted by this article. Shame in you…there are some moms of multiples out there barely hanging on. To hint that they have it easier is insulting and offensive.
AMEN!!!!!
The hardest part for me as a twin mom is that I don’t get to enjoy them individually like you would having one at a time. Especially infancy. And I agree that this list is rediculous. Who cares what other people think? I don’t want sympathy, but I don’t want to pretend like its not twice the work and a completely incomparable experience than having one at a time. Not to mention mine were 3 months premature from an unfairly shared placenta.
Not a fan of this article.
Hi Emily, You should better say thanks because many couples want to have twins, and you are the lucky one.. seriously.
You’re kidding me right. Sure it’s funny, but you don’t really believe that getting more sympathy makes it easier. My twin boys are 2 1/2. I’ve never had just one but I have had them one at a time in occasion and it feels like a breeze. I imagine when they are a bit older and are happy to play with each other without clinging to me or fighting it may be easier, but right now, not. 2 screaming babies not sleeping, 2 starving babies being breast fed. 2 toddlers throwing tantrums on the supermarket. 2 toddlers throwing stuff around everywhere to the point where keeping your house clean means non stop following them around. 2 sick toddlers needing constant attention. The list goes on. I resent your blog making it out as of all twin mums are holding something over everyone else. I don’t complain, I’m on my own with no help. Having twins at this age is not easy.
Thank you Natalie! Nicole must be on some serious drugs to write something so ridiculous. Maybe when they get a little older and have each other to play with, it will be nice. My twins are 22 months and let me tell you, every second has been hard. There is no sleep, especially for the first year. Everything is X2, why on earth would that be easier??? I cant even take them down to the soccer field to watch my older son play because they run in opposite directions. I am just speachless by the stupidity of this woman.
I would agree if I had I not had already experienced being a mother to a singleton, but once you have spent two years doting on one child and “mastering” motherhood you have first hand knowlege that parenting one baby is easy but twins plus a two-year-old is a whole other ball game….especially when the news of your unplanned and unexpected identiacal twins calls for selling you current home a week before Christmas, allowing the news of your home selling in 4 days to really sink in , accepting that you have no choice but to move to an apartment while continuing your now 9 month search for a bigger home, go into labor the day after moving into your new apartment, realize your two-year-old without his backyard and his best friend next door become “mr not nice”, buy a new home and move in when the twins are three months old, spend nap time and late night hours unpacking your new home, all alone b/c your hubby works 24 hours a day, and then finally feeling at peace, at home, and as if you might actually be “mastering” twin mommyhood as you celebrate the twins 9 month milestone and the fact that “mr not nice” is fianlly back to his previous happy care free self now that he has his yard back and not one but two little babies to torture all day long….only to wake up to your husband telling you he wants a divorce, without so much as a real explanation as to why he has decided to leave his wife to raise three children under age three all alone! At that point you realize being a mommy to any child is never actually and easy task and that motherhood is without question the most difficult job there is.
Let me predicate my comments by saying everyone’s situation is different. As father and primary caregiver to a 2 year old boy and 5 month old twin boys, I can say from experience that this article is not accurate in our case. But articles based on blanket statements are meant to elicit discussion or controversy, so this is hardly surprising. Not all parents are the same, not all children have the same disposition, physical or emotional. Not all follow the same developmental patterns. Not all communities are as helpful or tolerant of young children. Not all parents have as much time, money, or help as others. While this blog post is partly tongue-in-cheek, as you can tell from the comments, not everyone saw it that way. And when it occurs to this extent, yes, that is something a writer is responsible for. Finally, aside from the (very) notable exceptions of pregnancy and childbirth, it’s not specifically motherhood that is difficult, it’s responsible parenthood. Sadly the cultural attitudes of many fathers have made some people blind to this.
TLDR: if this post is a joke, it’s misleading and unfunny; if serious, it’s misleading and predominantly untrue.
This is actually the biggest bit of crap I have read, I am a mum of twins,okay so mine haven’t hit the playing age, so I imagine that them playing together will make it easier,and save me the job of having to play hide and seek.
I have never had help with my shopping, i have everyother person asking me ridiculous questions “are they twins?” “are they natural?” “did you try to have twins?”
Everything takes twice the amount of time, it would take having just the one, or even having two of different ages.
It doesn’t shock me that someone without twins would write this, a twin parent does not think having one child is easy, no child is ever easy, but having twins is definitely not asier, nor do i believe it to be more difficult. Every child is different, my two have there good days and bad, but unlike if a single child has a good or bad day, i have two babies to try and please and juggle on my own, both still at an age that need comforting. So for someome to write an article is clearly being misled.
Maybe consider what the parent has been through before judging. I do.
Love those additions! Man, I have four, too. We should bond. 😉
I wrote this and those ARE my twins in the picture up top. (Plus I have two other kiddos, one older than the twins, one younger.)
Hang in there, momma. I wrote this as a humor piece, a tongue-in-cheek look at twins parenting which, as you mention sure is tough. But, reading your comment, I can tell where you are in the process: the super crappy part.
Sam, know this, I wrote this as a way to laugh at the hard parts, not a way to diminish the struggle, but a way to relieve the burden of it by smiling. I know where you’re coming from and I want you to know I sympathize. I hope it gets easier for you soon; it did for me.
Best, Nicole
Define “serious drugs.”
Ah, well, stupidity is not one I get often. But it’s possible that I’m stupid. I try not to ask around because ignorance, as they say, is indeed bliss.
Good luck with your twins. The running in opposite directions phase is painful. I remember canceling basketball for my oldest because I realized I had no good way to contain the twins at her games.
Anyway, sorry my stupidity rendered you “speachless.” Good luck with the kiddos!
Hey, you said I was “funny”! So I’ll take this whole comment as a compliment. Wee!
I loved this because I am pregnant with twins and wanted to hear something positive and funny about it for a change vs everyone else scaring me to death. I liked it. Thanks 🙂
As a twin mom I disagree. Things are pretty difficult most of the time. My girls fight over everything, including identical toys. No one helped me, I was a new mom of 2 week old twins taking Care of them on my own while my husband was working and then alone at night since he was always on call. It has actually gotten worse for me, not easier. Yes there are double hugs, kisses and cuddles but we really can’t even take them out anywhere without a double meltdown.
Yes…but having multiple children twin or not you still carry that many more toys, do that much more laundry, or groceries, multiple car seats and we only have 2 hands also. I am a mom of 4 kids and do ALL of this as does any mom with more than one child, so same age or not its a juggling act and you get use to it and manage.
Having more than 1 child you still have to split your time and still have to share your time and have the guilt of not having that 1on 1 time. Twins or more than 1 its the same hard times and struggles. You have to just tey to do the best you can.
So funny! My favorite line from complete strangers is “you’ve really got your hands full!” Ugh, so annoying. My boys are currently playing with each other while I’m preparing my costco list. Gotta love taking three crazy kids to Costco! Let’s hope I don’t lose anybody!
Lisa, how old are your girls now? I promise it gets easier when they can dress and feed themselves. Sure, there a new challenges, but it does get easier. Yes, the mess is non stop and the kids do fight. I remember the days when my boys were brand new and I couldn’t imagine living through it. But here we are, almost 4 years old(with an almost 6 year old bother) and we are getting through and trying to have lots of fun along the way. Keep a positive attitude. The more outings we do, the more empowered I feel. A lazy play date in the house is always fun with a good friend that you don’t have to clean or put on normal clothes for. I wish you the best!
Nicole,
I am a twin momma of 3 year old twin boys, a 5 year old boy, and. 17 year old girl. Quite the spectrum, I know! I loved your article. We are finally in the stage where things are really fun and I love to see a humorous, positive outlook. I am tired of the pointing and the staring when I takes kids out. I was actually asked if we were on a field trip not too long ago. At least that was original! I’m sure you know all too we’ll the struggles if having kids one at a time as well. I always try to point that out to parents that automatically think I have it “worse” than them. One at a time is hard too, guys! Don’t let twin moms discount that! You do what you gotta do to get by. So far so good , I think, at least everyone’s accounted for!