You know that amazing part of Mother's Day when your three-year-old daughter runs into your bed first thing in the morning, refuses to give you a hug and then snuggles up with Daddy?
And then a half hour later, after the the two of them have been giggling and hugging eachother exclusively, you say, "Hey. Isn't anybody going to wish me a Happy Mother's Day?" and your daughter says, "Noooooooooooooo!"
And then your husband says, "Come on, Mazzy. Wish Mommy a Happy Mother's Day." And she repeats, "Noooooooooooooo!" and then runs out of the bed into the hallway?
And then your husband shrugs as if that's all he can do and you say, "Aren't I supposed to get pancakes in bed or something?"
And then your daughter yells from the hallway, "No pancakes in bed! Then you'll get syrup everywhere and make a mess!"
And your husband yells, "Yeah, Mommy! No pancakes in bed!"
And you have to agree because you've just spent the better part of two years convincing your daughter that she can't eat pancakes with syrup anywhere but the kitchen table?
So then you lay in bed while your husband and your daughter go into the kitchen to make pancakes to eat at the table and listen as your husband whispers, "Why won't you wish Mommy a Happy Mother's Day?" and your daughter says in the exact opposite of a whisper, "Because I don't waaaaaaaaaant to!"
And your husband repeats himself until your daughter gets upset and you have to scream from the bedroom, "It's okay! She's doesn't have to wish me a Happy Mother's Day if she doesn't want to!"
And then you come into the kitchen and eat your stupid pancakes at the stupid table (which are chocolate chip banana pancakes and thus, insanely delicious) and wonder what on earth you could have possibly done wrong to deserve a daughter who cannot find it within herself to say, "Thank you Mom for carrying me for nine months, pushing me out of your vagina, breastfeeding for one year and then dealing with my bullshit for the next two. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MOM!!!!"
The day was not all bad.
Mike took Mazzy to soccer and I got to have a nice couple of hours alone with Harlow who did me the huge favor of sleeping for the majority of the time, so I could take a well-deserved shower.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ME!
Then we all went to my mom's house (HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO HER!), including my very pregnant sister (HAPPY SOON-TO-BE MOTHER'S DAY, DR. B!) and had an absolutely lovely time playing in the backyard, barbequing on the patio and rolling around in a huge inflatable ball that took Mike half the day to blow up with a hand pump.
So fun, in fact, that when it came time to go home, Mazzy yelled, "Noooooooooooo!!!! I don't want to go home!!!!!"
Mazzy and I did have a few moments between us that were very special— like when she gave me the handmade (and laminated!) necklace she made in preschool. Yes, I know every mom in the class got the same one but she still seemed very proud.
Mike got me a gift certificate for a spa, obviously forgetting this means he just committed to watching the kids on the weekend or else I'll never be able to redeem it. Thanks, hon!
By the end of the day, I found myself saying that it was the perfect Mother's Day regardless of whether or not Mazzy was willing to acknowlede it was Mother's Day.
Back at home, I put Mazzy to bed as usual. After our books were over, I hung around a little longer as she made me tell stories and knock knock jokes, part of our nightly ritual.
Then, as I always do before I leave her room for the night, I told Mazzy three things I love about her. In addition to telling her things like "I love that you are so confident" and "I love that you give the tightest hugs", I usually incorporate things that showed good behavior during the day, like "I love that you tried to put your shoes on all by yourself" and "I love that you are good at sharing with your friends".
After I was done with my three things, Mazzy asked if she could tell me three things she loved about me. Don't get weepy. She's done this before— it's just a very effective stalling technique. As usual, I fell into her trap and said, "Okay."
She said, "I love that you are so good at giving me food" and "I love that you are so good at helping me clean-up" and "I love that you are so good at putting on my shoes."
I laughed and said, "Alright. Goodnight, Mazzy, sleep tight."
And then she said it.
"Mom?"
"Yes, Mazzy?"
"I love you so much."
"Awwww… I love you too Mazzy. So much."
She smiled through the darkness at me.
"Do you want to wish me a Happy Mother's Day?"
"No."
I should learn to quit while I'm ahead.
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How was your Mother's Day? If it was than ideal, now's your chance to spill it. But I want to hear about the good stuff too.
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Haha, welcome to my world. I still get “No I need Daaaaaaddy to put my shoes on/wipe my hands/change my diaper (oh wait, WHY am I complaining?)
Happy Mothers Day.
Ha ha… love it! You’ll need to try for a little boy… my husband is often the same boat as you in terms of love and affection from our little guy, especially in the am.
I spent Mother’s Day at a dance competition, watching lots of kids that I don’t know and will never see again dance, trying to not do a repeat of a couple weeks back when I literally fell asleep in the auditorium and did the “sudden jerk awake shake” only less embarrassing as at least I was not drooling (what? watching dancing for ten hours straight of which your kid was actually on stage for only 3 minutes is tiring!!).
But at least I was spending the day with (one of) my kid(s). And at least I woke up to a homemade card containing “$3 of my very own money”. And beautiful flowers that my preschooler picked out – apparently the cheapest ones in the store, but I have no discerning taste for things such as flowers and wine, and actually it is one of the prettiest bouquets I have ever seen!). And a pink bag with some trinkets, of which my three year old said “I don’t know what is in the bag. I didn’t pick anything out for you!”.
We also had a yummy dinner and I was told by my kids “Today is YOUR day Mommy!” which was lovely until they still bugged me to do every task for them and then ended the night fighting non-stop.
So obviously a colossal success 😉
Mother’s Day is always a huge let-down for me. You’d think I’d learn by now to just expect a regular day with a generic card thrown at me in the morning before I get up and get everyone ready for church by myself as usual. On my first Mother’s Day, Hubby informed me that he didn’t have to do anything for me since I’m not HIS mother. FYI, that logic still means that I’m in charge of a Mother’s Day gift for HIS mom. The best part is that my birthday falls right around or on Mother’s Day so I get to be doubly disappointed! So glad that’s over for another year.
Aw, BIG hugs! Happy mother’s day, hon.
I spent my mother’s day trying not to feel like my heart was being crushed repeatedly by the people intent on giving me well-wishes by saying things like, “Well, you certainly qualify THIS year for mother’s day!” (emphasis probably mine…I’m still a little tweaked).
You see, I’m 25 weeks pregnant right now with our son, BUT I’ve been a stepmother for nearly four years now. And I don’t mean a weekend-warrior stepmom; the girl goes to OUR school, I pack her lunch EVERY day, I take her to swim and karate EVERY week, I make sure she gets a bath EVERY other night, I wash ALL of her clothes, etc. etc.
Unfortunately, apparently, you’re not a REAL mom until you sprout one from your nether regions. Considering that my family has always been so supportive of my loving relationship with my stepdaughter, it felt like a slap to the face everytime someone qualified my motherhood, instead of a celebration of my unborn.
So I’m right up there with you…what a crappy mom’s day 🙁
As a stepdaughter myself, I appreciate your commitment to your child more than I can say.
Luckily my daughter woke up feeling agreeable on mothers day so she didn’t torture me too much, though we’ve been having an ongoing arguement about whether or not she can take all the clothes out of her dresser and wear ALL of them ALL AT ONCE so I was not very pleased to find she’d done it again. “I don’t want to yell at the kids on MOTHERS DAY!” I said to my husband and he said sweetly, “Then let me know when they need it and I’ll yell at them for you!” Awww, who could ask for more?
Aww that is awful! Happy belated Mothers Day to you! You are a rock star for putting up with that but the important thing is that you have a great relationship with your stepdaughter, whether people acknowledge it properly or not. Kudos to you!
First time I’ve seen a picture of Dr. B! Congrats to her!
Believe it or not… I know the mommyblogosphere understands and loves me 🙂 A lot of the time, I feel unfairly persecuted for not being the bio-mom, but whatevs…I do my best not to be a complete martyr. I hope you took time out of your day yesterday to think about your stepmom too 🙂 Ty for the kind thoughts.
Yes! I can’t believe she gave me permission to use it. I think she didn’t want to tell me I couldn’t post that lovely picture of all us. It’s also the first time she let me say she was pregnant!
Thank you, Jen 🙂 You’re absolutely right! My stepdaughter came to me this morning and pulled a letter out of her backpack for me (it’s a Mommy Week, so I didn’t get her for Mother’s Day) before going to school that told me she loved me. It took the sting off, at least 😀 😀 Ty for the comment!
I didn’t sprout anything from my nether regions either… but I’m raising my brothers two kids and have been for 6 years. Mother’s Day always sucks because I work so hard making sure my Mother, Mother-in-Law, Sister, Aunt, etc., all have a wonderful mothers day. And because I didn’t give birth to children, it’s awkward for me. There are people who go out of their way to say, “YOU ARE A MOTHER!” and then others that don’t even acknowledge it… like my kids and husband. (Well, I lied…he did say, “Happy Mothers Day” to me.) I FEEL like a mother, but I don’t have the title. I feel like a Mother in the way a substitute teacher probably feels like a teacher… you might do a great job, you might stay a looooong time, you might do all the duties of the teacher, but the teacher was there first and she gets the title and all that comes with it. It’s kind of depressing if you let yourself think about it too much…which is why I don’t usually. I do this because I love the kids and they needed me and my husband. One day a year of feeling like crap about it is way overshadowed by how healthy and happy they are now. (Not that I would turn down breakfast in bed or a laminated necklace.)
I guess we’ll let this be the Mother’s Day’s we’d all like to forget. Unfortunately my 2 1/2 year old decided this would be the day she would release her inner monster. Although I did get “Happy Mother’s Day” and lots of “I love you’s” in the morning–which should make up for the rest of the day–spitting on me because she didn’t want to use the big potty and “I don’t love you” because she didn’t want to eat lunch–I was a blubbery mess most of the day. But the hubs did step up with an AWESOME brunch and the porch swing I’d been wanting. Guess I’ll lower my expectations a tad from now on!
And those pancakes look AMAZING 🙂
And nothing makes a lovely picture lovelier than dog vagina.
I woke up to a sibling argument about the surprise they were going to make. Mother’s day is too overrated anyway 🙂 Too many expectations. I see it as another excuse to get together with the loved ones.
Happy mother’s day. The necklace looks pretty cool.
That kid is awesome. I want to wish you a Happy Mother’s Day.
Hugs.
judging from mazzy’s list of things that she loves about you…you are FABULOUS mom! 🙂 feeding, getting my 2 yr old son to clean up and putting on his shoes are pretty much the top 3 things that cause daily strife in my house. lol. happy mother’s day!
My Mother’s Day was damn near perfect, but there was one moment of crushing mommy guilt (there is ALWAYS one) …
My son was so excited to give me his present, which was one of those booklets that kids color and fill in, with questions like “I love when my mom ______”
And he wrote things like “I like when my mom …. cooks hotdogs!” and I was all like “Awww… he’s so original”
BUT then I turned to the page that said “When my mommy has free time she ______” and he wrote “plays with my little sister.”
And my first thought was “Ouch!”
And my second thought was “What mother@#$%& wrote this stupid booklet anyway…”
Great story and very funny. That Mazzy is a little pistol!
I had a lovely Mother’s day, getting flowers from the hubby, a card from my daughter, and my little man (3 months) gave me a cold. 🙂 Guess he didn’t want to feel left out.
Two words; PANCAKES. Glad the day was happy… mine was similarly happy, but my kids did manage to tell Happy Mother’s Day. Your year will come. I’m sure of it.
I should, at this point, not have any expectations. I’ve come off of a hellish month of being sick, the kids being sick, and an oral surgery to boot that has rendered me unable to eat solids for 8 days now. My 6 yr old threw a colossal shit fit off and on for most of the day. I made my own frigging breakfast of scrambled eggs, cooked dinner and baked a cake for my own mom and mother in law. I’m demanding a re do asap. I did ask my husband, pointedly, what he was expecting to do for Father’s Day, when he asked me if I wanted to take the kids to the science museum or indoor playground. I’m lucky for the family I have but Mother’s Day seems to be a thorn in my side.
Being a biological mom is easy, because genetics and hormones and weird sciency things like that make the majority of moms and their biological kids easily love each other no matter what (yes, some depressing exceptions, but I mean in most cases – if we didn’t have that ingrained urge the human race would be extinct!). It is NOT a strong biological/hormone/sciency thing that causes someone to love a child who did not spring from their loins. THAT is a relationship built from the truest meaning of the words “love” and “mom” … THAT is the type of relationship biological parents strive to achieve with their own biological children … THAT is the epitome of true motherhood/fatherhood.
I lift my hat to you ma’am for your daily demonstration that “Mom” is not spelt “V-a-g-i-n-a” but “L-o-v-e”
Can I be happy for her and jealous of her boobs all at once?
Read my reply to Dy above. That is obviously applicable to you as well. xoxo
Happy belated Mother’s Day! Glad Mazzy said “I love you” by the end of the day. And congrats to Dr B! My Mother’s Day was fine. I expected flowers or breakfast or a gift, but got none of that since my mom was in-town and we took her out to breakfast so my husband didn’t eat breakfast and didn’t find a need to make anything either. Just as well, I suppose. My mom had a great Mother’s Day, so at least one of us was happy. The best part though was my 2.5-yr old saying Happy Mother’s Day to me first thing in the morning without me asking. Don’t mean to rub it in though!
You are not alone. I raised two step sons for eight years and never heard a whisper on Mother’s Day from my in-laws until I birthed a child the old fashioned way. Same boat here, full time custody of the stepchildren and I did the lion’s share of the parenting due to my husband’s work schedule and their bio-mom’s apathy. Being a parent can be hard, being a step parent is so much harder.
Those pancakes look and sound deeeeeeelicious, and your family is so precious. Congrats on the shower!
I have found that Mother’s Days are highly overrated since we seem to expect things we don’t ever get. However, now that my kids are grownups, I get lovely cards from my beloved daughter and funny, sarcastic ones from my son. He makes me laugh and she makes me cry. My daughter is the one who gives me flowers and gifts, the husband and son do not. No big deal about the boys, they’re male, it is what it is, but I am so glad my girl expresses her love to me on those days (and in lots of other ways). I know I’m loved and appreciated by all of them. And if I want something….I go get it myself! And then say, hey thanks guys, look what you got me!! Then they give me money for it hehehe.
Littles don’t really get the whole concept of Mother’s Day so don’t fret ladies. It will come. Eventually. Maybe when you’re a Gramma lol. 😀
I say good job preschool teachers all over the world who make sure we get some sort of sentimental home made gift from our kids who aren’t yet at an age where they choose to not be centre of the world all day long. We had Mother’s Day back in March – I scored for a child-directed breakfast with 7 mini portions of different cereals and a bowl of ice cream – though my son stole the smartie from the top of the ice cream much to my daughter’s dismay. Then they wanted to know when Kids Fay is so they can have ice cream for breakfast which all made it seem a bit too much like hard work! Given that kids day is every day and ice cream breakfast is never. Best bit is the hubs feeling he has to be superman for the day since to be fair he already sets the hands on dad bar pretty high!
I was going to say… you sure have some beautiful X chromosomes in your family! Lovely picture of all of you!
loved reading this! haha i love the part about not being able to eat breakfast in bed(:
i did a whole mothersday post about my 1st mothersday if youd like to read about it
http://beautybehaved.blogspot.com/2013/05/care-to-share-my-1st-mothers-day.html
warning and all – you still made me weep! And CONGRATS to Dr. B!!!
Just came across your blog on Instagram. Have to tell you I LOVE IT!! Love you honesty and humor.