I have a vested interest in both my daughters developing a strong sense of humor. If they don't find me funny, our relationship is pretty much screwed. Being able to appreciate a joke is basically the difference between them loving everything I've written in this blog since they were babies or locking me in a basement without a wireless connection until they go off to college.
When Mazzy was a baby, she never laughed. I watched countless YouTube videos of babies giggling over things like paper ripping, nose blowing, vacuum cleaning, etc. It seemed so easy! But Mazzy wouldn't crack a smile if I put on a clown nose and danced a jig. While juggling monkeys. With Will Ferrell. In drag.
I often wondered if Mazzy had no sense of humor or maybe just a really discerning one. Perhaps she didn't appreciate clowns and would rather the subtle observational humor of Louis CK.
When Mazzy was two, she thought people who laughed were funny. Which means, if I told a joke and Daddy laughed, she'd say, "Daddy's funny!" and I'd get no credit whatsoever.
At some point, Mazzy learned about "knock knock jokes" and now she asks me to tell her three before bedtime every night.
It's unclear what she finds funny. I don't think she gets the word play. She can easily memorize a set of words so she can successfully tell a knock knock joke, but then she'll mix the words up and find it even funnier.
For instance…
ME: Knock knock
MAZZY: Who's there?
ME: Boo
MAZZY: Boo Who?
ME: Why are you crying?
MAZZY: HAHAHAHA! Knock knock.
ME: Who's there?
MAZZY: Boo.
ME: Boo who?
MAZZY: Boo Who Shoe Boo Doo Doo! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
She also thinks putting the word "business" on the end of anything is hilarious. I think Mike might have made up a half-assed knock knock joke about "monkey business" and it all snow balled from there.
For instance…
MAZZY: Knock Knock.
ME: Who's there?
MAZZY: Monkey.
ME: Monkey who?
MAZZY: Monkey Business! HAHAHAHAHA! Knock knock.
ME: Who's there?
MAZZY: Chair.
ME: Chair who?
MAZZY: Chair Business! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
In that last few weeks, she has taken the big leap to question and answer jokes.
When she first asked me to tell her one, I made the mistake of asking, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" I forgot the joke behind that joke is that it's actually not a joke at all. Saying "to get to the other side" to a three year-old is like telling them any question asked and answered factually is funny.
This has translated to jokes such as…
MAZZY: Why is the toothbrush on the sink?
ME: Why?
MAZZY: Because that's where you put it.
And…
MAZZY: Why is food in the kitchen?
ME: Why?
MAZZY: So we can eat it.
Trust me, this can go on for several hours.
Eventually, Mike and I both looked up jokes online so we'd have one at the ready every time it was requested. Which is often.
Why was the man running around the bed? To catch up on sleep!
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop!
Mazzy laughs at all of them but again, I'm not sure if she knows what she is laughing at.
There is one joke Mazzy finds particularly funny and tells over and over again. I can even ask her to say it on demand if I want to show off my daughter's newfound sense of humor amongst friends.
Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the mooooo-vies.
She tells it with so much confidence. All the emphasis in the right places. Her timing is perfect. With this sly little smile like she totally knows she's got you.
Every time she tells it, I feel like it might be a window into the stellar sense of humor Mazzy will one day possess. The sense of humor that will allow us to bond over the stories in my blog instead of tear us apart.
And then yesterday, Mazzy asked me to tell her the cow joke.
ME: Why did the cow cross the road?
MAZZY: Why?
ME: To get to the mooooo-vies.
MAZZY: No!
ME: What?
MAZZY: To get to the MOVE FEETS.
ME: What?
MAZZY: To get to the MOVE FEETS.
ME: No, it's to get to the MOOOO-VIES.
MAZZY: NOOOO!!!! MOVE FEETS!!!!!
ME: Babe, it's because a cow goes MOOOO, so it's to get to the MOOOO-VIES.
MAZZY: MOVE FEEEEEEEEETS!!!!!!!
ME: Alright, move feets.
Uh-oh. If you can't find me, I'll be in the basement. Without wireless.
This made my morning! Mazzy posts are my favorite!
As a lover of corny jokes, here’s a few you can use……
What did the green light say to the red light?
Don’t look, I’m changing
Why is Peter Pan always in flight?
Because he Neverlands
What did the baby corn ask the mom corn?
Where’s pop corn?
My 3 yr old son has not started into joke telling yet but he has gone into the “thats silly” stage. Like he will pretend to throw his plate away or put his shoes in the fridge. He will just stand there hovering the item till I look at him then he starts giggling saying “thats silly” or like the other day on the ride home he saw a truck that looked like his dads old work truck thinking it was daddy I said no remember daddy changed jobs he waited a minute then said “daddy drives a firetruck now?” no “daddy drives an icecream truck now? paused then he burst out laughing saying “that would be silly” I love this stage!
You should get her into popsicles jokes! Those are normally aimed towards kids – although they’re my favorite kind of joke.
My all time favorite (popsicle) joke is..
What did the girl melon say when the boy melon proposed?
I’m sorry – we cantaloupe (can’t elope) HAHAHA, you can thank me later.
Right now my 3 yr old’s punchline to EVERY joke is “Underpants!” As in, “What did Dora make for lunch? Macaroni and cheese and underpants!” Then she shrieks with laughter.
It doesn’t get any better… My kids are 10 and 12 and they STILL tell the worst knock knock jokes on the planet.
One of our family favorites is:
Knock knock
Who’s there?
Interrupting Cow
Interru (person one interrupts)
MOO!
So my kids will do interrupting banana, interrupting chair… on and on and on.
my daughter’s favorite is “there’s a chicken on your head” and then she cracks up hysterically!! Of course, my husband laughs with her so now it’s really funny…. then she adds…”and it’s not paying rent!” or… “and it has to go to the bathroom!”…. now the two of them are practically spitting their food out at the table they’re giggling so hard! My husband will come back in another life as a 7 year old girl!!
Do yourself a BIG favor and stay away from the knock knock joke with oranges and bananas. It.never.ends. Knock knock hell.
Every funny man has to have a straight man. It’s the way these things go. You’re the funny and she’s the straight. I had to laugh when you mentioned the cow joke. We live in Ontario, California. Dairy farms everywhere, so kids around here know ALL ABOUT COWS. If my daughter Mariah tells the cow joke, she gets a very solemn, straight answer from her best friend, Gwen. “No, Mariah, they don’t go to the movies, they are cows.” There’s no point in arguing with that kind of logic, now, is there?
It takes a while… My almost-8-year-old has been telling jokes this whole school, but still doesn’t get the word play most of the time. The sillier the words sound together, the more funny kids find the joke. His younger brothers almost always find his jokes funny, but I just roll my eyes every time a joke session starts.
We love the song Seven Ate Nine (They must be Giants kids cd) but at 6.5, I think kiddo JUST got it recently because now she can appreciate that Eight and ATE sound the same. It’s developmental.
But her favorite riddle is: Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
Correction – wrong album. It’s on the Barenaked Ladies kids cd.
Please accept my sympathy. My 7 yr old tells the worst jokes and now has my soon to be 3 yr old saying them too. The soon-to-be-3-yr-old is delayed in his speech, but the kid says knock knock jokes. His favorite:
him: knock knock
us: who’s there
him: Mario
us: Mario who?
him: weeeeeeeee
He’s a Mario Bros. fan. The weee makes no sense but it does get me everytime.
Hee. Don’t fret too much. My eight year old still doesn’t understand knock-knock jokes 😛 She’s only now getting the “Why did the Chicken…” jokes. 😀 Pretty standard MO from kids, as I understand it.
I am in complete agreement – keep her ignorant to knock knock jokes as long as possible.
Knock knock mama.
Who’s there?
KUH
KUH who?
Car!
ahhh you are amazing, i enjoy your posts so much!!
cant wait to read your next one.
&& also my sons 9 weeks so we are slowly trying to introduce ripping paper fake sneases etc to see what he finds funny so far nothing but obvi still early.
your daughters are both so incredibly beautiful and have distinct looks to them, adorable.
Whatever she says is right ;). Having a sense of humor is actually a big milestone for kids!
She won’t grow out of it any time soon. My daughter is 6 (going on 16) and loves, Loves, LOVES jokes and riddles. Some of her favorites:
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Panther
Panther who?
Panther or no pants I’m going swimming.
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
And my fave to tell her when she asks for the bajillionth time:
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Leaf
Leaf who?
Leaf me alone for a minute!
Maybe he’s saying “Wii?”
Hi there! New here. But I can’t resist sharing my favorite joke of all time. Ready?
Why doesn’t Cinderella play soccer anymore?
Because she had a pumpkin for a coach and she was always running away from the ball!
Ok. I’m done! Love this blog…
You are so hilarious and so relatable. Thank you for making the awkwardness of motherhood seem perfectly normal.
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