When I was little, my dad would tell the best bedtime stories. The stories were each drastically different but the moral was always the same. The fun part was seeing how he was going to get there each time.
Was the moral about family values? Respecting your elders? An important life lesson?
Not exactly.
Every one of my dad's stories ended with:
"And the moral of the story is… you can find everything you need at Waldbaums."
(Waldbaums was the local supermarket closest to our house. I guess the modern day equivalent would be Target.)
It's hard to describe how much joy this moral or the stories that led up to it gave me, but eventually, my dad and I would say the moral in unison, both crack up and then I'd finally go to sleep.
My parents got divorced when I was ten and besides his bedtime stories, there is honestly not a lot I remember about the time my dad spent living in our house in the suburbs of Long Island. Most of my childhood memories of my dad are after he moved into a loft in downtown Manhattan that my sister and I would visit every other weekend.
I mean, how could that not create a huge impression?
My dad had a permanent parking spot in a small alley between two buildings in the East Village in the '80s. His apartment was a big open space, with a skinny white entranceway that was so long we used to ride our bikes up and down it. There was a great view of the Con Ed building (that's the one with the lit-up colored clock) front and center in his living room window. There was a stairway off an open kitchen that led to a small loft space where my sister and I used to sleep. You couldn't stand up in there but it was fully carpeted with an elevated platform and I thought it was the coolest thing ever.
Actually, I'm mixing up two apartments. I think the loft was in one space and the long entranceway was in another. One of the ways my dad made a living back then was renovating apartments and flipping them, so we cycled through many different places in downtown NYC. The spaces were minimally decorated (my dad thought of the apartments as more of a business than as homes) and when he swapped, it would often include the furniture. I remember one swap gave him the weirdest set of the most uncomfortable chairs. Years later, I saw them in a museum in Copenhagan. If only my father had held onto them.
You're probably thinking that on these visits, my dad filled us with all the art and culture New York City has to offer. Fine art at the Met, the ballet at Lincoln Center, Shakespeare in the Park.
But we did none of that.
My dad let us choose what we wanted to do and that included four things only— getting toasted buttered bagels at the corner bodega, eating at Pizzeria Uno, visiting the Cabbage Patch Kids Museum and riding up and down the glass elevators in the middle of the Marriot Marquis in Times Square. You gotta appreciate a guy who would stand on a ridiculously long line to get into the Cabbage Patch Kids Museum multiple weekends in a row, when really it was just an elaborate set-up to get you into the Cabbage Patch Kids Store.
At some point growing up, going to the city to visit my dad became less exciting and more of a chore. In high school, I didn't want to leave my friends to spend time with my father and he didn't want to force me to come, so we agreed I could stay at home. When he came to Long Island to take us out for dinner (our Wednesday night ritual), we made it quick because I had homework to do. When he called to talk to my sister and me on the phone, we half listened while we watched television.
To my dad's credit, he never stopped calling.
It wasn't until after I graduated college that I started to see my dad (and my new stepmother) on a semi-regular basis again. I moved into the city and their apartment had a washing machine.
On 9/11, he was the person I ran to when I found myself in the West Village, halfway between home and the office, by myself with no cell reception. Then I crashed in their spare bedroom for a month because I didn't want to go back to my own place.
In 2005, my dad bought an apartment in my building. I was single at the time and wanted to kill him for invading my space. But eventually, I came to love that he was just upstairs. I would call him whenever I didn't have plans, go up there for dinner (always Chinese take-out) or to watch LOST since we both followed it religiously. It felt like our relationship had come full circle and now we were living under the same roof once again.
Mike entered my life the following year and luckily, he enjoyed the comical run-ins with my father in the elevator. They hit it off immediately.
When Mazzy was born, my dad (now Poppy) made a habit of visiting every morning before he went to work. In the beginning, we had all the time in the world for him, but once my maternity leave was over, he would often come right at that moment when everyone was trying to get out the door and our interaction would be rushed and apologetic. Regardless, I loved that he visited every day. It seemed both odd and wonderful that at this point in my life, my father would become such a regular fixture, and thus, a regular fixture for Mazzy as well.
Last year, he moved out of our building. Not far. But far enough so that we have to carve out real time to see one another again. With a three-year-old, a baby, a day job, the blog and everything else in my life, I haven't been very good at it. I mean to try harder and then another day passes that I forget to call him back or answer an email.
The other day I came home from work and my father was already there, playing with Mazzy. It was a Tuesday and I had forgotten he was trying to make Tuesdays a thing. Mike was working late that night, so my dad ordered us Chinese food while I put Mazzy and Harlow to bed.
The two of us sat across from eachother eating dinner, when Mazzy, still awake, called out from the bedroom with a small request.
"Tell me one of your stories, Poppy!"
She said it just like that. As though my dad had coached her to say it. Or like she was channeling me when I was little. I normally try not to respond to Mazzy's bedtime stalling techniques, but I looked at my dad's proud face and nodded at him to go.
I couldn't deny Mazzy one of Poppy's stories. And I couldn't deny my dad the chance to tell her one.
I hope one day she looks back at them as fondly as I do.
And I wonder if the moral will always be the same.
What a truly beautiful post! Love, love it!
That Post made me cry… I hope your dad gets to read it!
Love this.
I love this post! My dad is a big part of my family’s life and my son absolutly loves him, calls out “Papa! Papa!” when we pull into my parent’s driveway and runs up to him to hug him (he’s 15 months old).
Your dad sounds great 🙂
It’s wonderful that your Dad is such a big part of your lives.
What a great tribute to your dad!
What a lovely tribute to your father. Thanks for sharing!
Loved this story – tearing up at work. I’m sure your dad is going to love this post too. I have distant and complicated relationship with my dad but have always yearned for this closeness. I have always hoped my son (4 months old) would bring new venues for us to relate and connect.
Happy Father’s day!
This beautiful story made me cry and miss my dad. Even though I don’t have any particular memory with him like you do.
All my family is half way around the world and I am always a little sad about my daughter meeting/talking to them via FaceTime. She met them only once when she was about 4 months old.
Mazzy is so lucky to have a grandpa who can tell a bedtime story with great moral. 🙂 She will remember him as you do when she grow up.
So your bedtime stories were just The Aristocrats restructured. I like that.
And now I have to call my dad. Thanks for the reminder.
When I was 14 weeks pregnant with my second baby, my dad was in a really bad accident. He miraculously recovered – only to be told less than a year later that he had stage four cancer, and passed away when my second was just nine months. I was not especially close with him, but he had a different relationship with my kids … I loved how much he loved my eldest – I was so happy when he had recovered enough from his accident to meet my baby – and it makes my heart ache to this day when I see how my eldest is forgetting him and my baby has no clue who he was. I am so glad your Dad took the time and initiative to stay a part of your life, to figure out ways to be inclusive not intrusive, and I hope all the joy I miss from being unable to witness my Dad with my kids is transferred to you and your wonderful family. You are blessed – but is also because you both nourished that blessing! xo
You have a gift Ilana! That was a wonderful, precious post! Thank you for sharing with us the beautiful stories about your family
Definitely one of my new favorite posts of yours. I probably would have cried if I wasn’t at work reading this.
I won’t be celebrating Father’s Day with my dad since he pushed me out of his life to let his new girlfriend in. As much as I want to punch everyone in the face for having a dad in their life, I love this story (and it doesn’t make me want to punch anyone in the face). And it’s been a while since I’ve said I love anything dad related. I hope he reads this and knows what a wonderful daughter he has!
So sweet. Life after my parents divorce was very much the same… every other weekend with Dad and Wednesday dinner until high school, when high school life took over and he moved 2 hours away. My dad still lives 2 hours away, but we still try to get together once every month or so, and my son loves his Papa dearly. This weekend my husband has graciously deferred Father’s Day to my dad, so we’ll be packing up the kids for the day. I can’t remember the last time I missed a Father’s Day with my dad, but I don’t think it would be the same without him.
Tears. A bunch of tears. On my face.
Thank you for sharing your heart today.
OMG! I teared up and am going to call my dad whom I am not close with. Every call feels like a chore and usually ends in an argument as neither if us like biting our tongue. So glad your kids have a Poppy who WANTS to be involved out of live, not genetic obligation. Happy Fathers Day, Poppy!
Beautiful post, Ilana. I love how it all came full-circle.
Loved this I’m not a crier at all and this brought a tear to my eyes!
So sweetly personal. Thanks for sharing. Made me cry! How lucky are you and Dr. B and your girls to have such a man as Poppy in your lives. I didn’t have a committed father in my life and now it means more to me in the world to see my husband so wildly in love with our little girl. I hope she will have special happy memories always of her daddy.
Stupid allergies! Sniff, sniff.
I love this story, my parents were divorced when I was 6 months old and my father lived 2 hours away for most of my childhood. The last time I saw him I was 8, he died when I was 12. My memories of him include the science centre and driving in his jeep in a parking lot with parking tickets flying about. I love that you remember and appreciate those bedtime stories and now you get to share them with your kids.
He was right about Waldbaums, by the way.
you suck, i’m in tears. beautiful, just beautiful. hold on to those beautiful moments. Happy Father’s Day Pa (that’s my dad who’s watching us from above). I miss your endless inappropriate jokes.
I feel for you. My Dad died of cancer when I was 4 months pregnant with my first. The last smile I got from him was when I told him a month earlier that he was going to be a grandpa. My heart aches when i think how much he would have loved his 2 grandbabies. So painful.
I have the same Dad. The same story. The teenage years were probably harder on Dad than I’ll ever know, but he (like your Dad) never stopped calling.
such a beautifully written post once again.. im sure uncle J will enjoy this for sure 😉
i can especially relate to this post — with my mother being gone now and only seeing my dad here and there (he works a TON) i have to remind myself to carve out the time which can be difficult with 2 little ones to tend to. but its so important that i try..
hope you are enjoying your visit with your dad this weekend
–Ashley
This is such a sweet post! Made me a little misty.
I just read this and am balling. Thx. Ha!
So well written!!! xx
So sweet. Thanks.
Really appreciate this post. My fiance does not get to see his kids as much as he would like. It tough, but he keeps calling, keeps trying and stays patient. His sisters and I always tell him “this is a moment in time”…that if he stays diligent that the kids may not live so far away their whole lives, that they will grow out of the teenage years, etc. He is a lot of fun and the kids love him so much…his specialty: Weeeeee piggy (never gets old)! Passed along this story as I knew this would make him feel good.
beautiful!
Loved this honest recollection of the relationship with your dad. It had its ups and downs, since we are all always changing as kids and young adults, but so great that your dad persevered and stayed in your life. I hope he’s a big part of Mazzy and Harlow’s life too. Very sweet indeed. Reminds me to call my mom more often!
That post just made me cry — makes me miss my dad!
I’m not a mom ( nor am I married yet), but I love your blog and hearing about your kids! This, however, is probably one of my favorite posts ever. Relationships with dads can be complicated, but hearing about how your dad never stopped trying to be a part of your life really moved me. Thanks for the happy tears.
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