Yesterday, when I posted on facebook about my desire to mug the Royal Baby, people figured it would never happen and suggested photoshop. Well, aren't you all the biggest bunch of pessimists!
If I say the Royal Baby shall be mugged, than he (yay! a boy!) will be mugged, and as is always the case with baby mugging— there is no photoshop necessary.
Exhibit A: Photo above.
Yes, that's me holding a mug in front of a picture of the Royal Baby on my computer. Yes, I turned by laptop on its side to snap the photo. Yes, I am proud of myself and don't think there is any element of lame-ness whatsoever.
In fact, yesterday I decided that saying you don't care about the Royal Baby is just as lame as saying you do care about the Royal Baby.
Therefore, we are all free to do as we please and unless you don't mention the Royal Baby at all, we are all in the same boat of lame-ness.
And don't even think about commenting to tell me that you are one of the few people that won't mention the Royal Baby, because the very act of commenting negates that fact.
You see?
We are all actively caring and not caring together. Isn't it beautiful? The Royal Baby divides us. The Royal Baby brings us together.
The Royal Baby. The Royal Baby. The Royal Baby.
In case Will & Kate would like to mug their baby properly ("proper" being the thing to be in Great Britain), below are nine baby mugging suggestions. Take a guess which one is my favorite…
Can we petition parliament to make this happen? PLEASE????
Also, when Kate went into labor, I asked everyone to guess the cover headline of the New York Post. There were some very worthy guesses ("What a Royal Pain!" from Melissa Lawless and "He's Heir!!!" from Lauren Parker were two of my favorites) but ultimately, the Post went with "Crown Jewels".
That's not even a pun unless they are assuming most people associate "Crown Jewels" with something else, in which case, DISGUSTING. And who the hell is that nine-month-old boy?
Disappointing.
The best headline went to a satirical British newspaper called "Private Eye".
Cause, yep. She did.
Tomorrow's headline: Royal Baby Poops Just Like Commoner Baby.
I hope there aren't photos.
LOL! You’re so funny!!
Royal Baby has been mugged?
LOL
This is hilarious. “The Royal Baby Brings us together.”
I’m in the don’t care but still that hasn’t stopped me from commenting on social media about it.
You are FUNNY and extremely creative!!!
I just want to know his name, I hate how they are keeping it a secret, (THAT BABY HAS A NAME, TELL ME WHAT IT IS!)
but other than that, I’m just glad that everyone is healthy, happy and home.
I know that Kate is napping more than I did 😉
I must be disgusting because THAT’S exactly what I thought when I saw the headline “Crown Jewels.”
So. Ashamed. (not really.)
Totally they are going for the pun. And totally more gross than funny.
On the other hand “Woman has baby”???? FTW!!!! Brilliant in its simplicity. “Why yes world. A woman did what billions have done before her and billions more will do after her. Reproduce. Slow clap.”
(Yes I realize that THIS particular baby carries some significance to the UK nation but still. She didn’t solve world hunger. She had a BABY! A cute baby, and it’s special ’cause it’s her baby, but at this point – it’s just a baby”.
Being a Londoner I feel entitled to some excitement about the baby in the same way it was totally ok to throw our own parties for their wedding and the jubilee. Though I can understand why the rest of the world might want to gloss over it having your own heads of state and all….
But my real question is how did she manage to walk out of the hospital elegantly in heels after delivering an 8lb 6 oz firstborn? What about shuffling in sensible pumps with a slight waddle like the rest of us? Or is that the mark of true royalty?!
Mine was 5 days overdue and 8lb 6oz. I was immobile for entire week due to severe degree of tear. Yes I am much smaller than Kate but how did she manage high hills??
She must be on serious pain killer!!
I love the fact that Kate walked out of that hospital proudly showing her still poochy belly. Finally someone famous who doesn’t girdle themselves into discomfort and actually shows what a real woman looks like right after giving birth.
So. Alrighty then.
In other news, I have a question about your baby that’s been haunting me for months. When does Harlow get to join Mazzy up top in those headliner photos?
😀
If you have some sort of cloning tool that will let me be a mom, hold a job, write the blog and recreate my headline banner, I am totally up for adding Harlow. 🙂
LOL. I’ll get right to work on that…
I really wish they would have given him some random name and not some “king-worthy name.”