For the past three years, I have tried to come up with fresh new content for every post. New topics, new discussions, new milestones, new funny things my kids did, etc. etc. etc.
But you know what?
90% of parenting is doing the EXACT SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
What? You don't like wiping your baby's ass? TOO BAD!!! You will be wiping it ten times a day for three years!
You find cutting a slice of pizza into tiny squares while making sure the cheese doesn't separate from the crust a mind-numbing exercise? Welcome to the next five years of your life!
Your kid likes when you swing her up in the air? On the 700,000th time you will not only want to shoot yourself, you will throw your back out. I guarantee it.
Remember when I wrote that post about Mazzy turning into a train? SHE'S STILL A TRAIN.
Remember when I mentioned potty training OVER A YEAR AGO??? We're still working on it.
Remember when my kids got sick THAT ONE TIME?? They are sick ALL THE TIME!!!!
But you know what's the most annoying? The fights. When I was in college, I used to fight with my room mate. About boys, about drinking, about trying to write a paper while she was "secretly" having sex with her boyfriend two feet away. Those were exciting fights. These are fights with with my three-year-old. About juice and television. They are the most uninteresting repetitive fights IN THE WORLD.
Here's are ten fights I have with my three-year-old daily. I'm sure if I thought for another hour, I could come up with ten more.
1) THE BATH FIGHT
Mazzy says she doesn't want to take a bath. I say she has to take a bath. Kicking and screaming ensues. Finally, I get her in the bath. Once in the bath, she says she doesn't want to get her hair wet. "You have to get your hair wet. That's the only way to wash it." "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" "Just lean back. It's not a big deal." "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" "Okay fine. If you don't lean back, I'm going to pour water over your head." "AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!! You got water in my eye!!!!!"
2) THE APPLE JUICE FIGHT
"I want apple juice." "If you are thirsty, you can drink some water." "I don't want WATER!!!" "Water is delicious. It's my favorite drink." "Apple juice!!!!!!!!" "No apple juice." She gets quiet. Collects herself. I think it's over. "Mommy, can I have some apple juice, please?" "That's very nice asking, but my answer is still no." "WAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
3) THE HAIR BRUSHING FIGHT
"Mazzy, I have to brush your hair." Mazzy runs as far away as possible. I follow her around the apartment weilding the brush. "I have to. Your hair is a mess." "NOOOOOOO!!!!!" She runs back the other way. "You can watch the iPad while I brush your hair." "Okay." I hand her the iPad. She sits on the couch. "You have to sit on the edge of the couch so I can reach your hair." "NOOOOO!!!!" "If you don't sit on the edge of the couch, I'm taking away the iPad." "Okay." I raise the brush. "That hurts!!!!!!!" "I haven't even touched it yet." I brush one strand of hair. "IT HURTS!!!!!!!!!" She runs away again. Repeat ad nauseum.
4) THE POTTY FIGHT
"Mazzy, we are leaving now. Let's go to the bathroom first." "NOOOOOO!!!!!" "Just go pee." "I DON'T HAVE TO PEE!!!!!!" "You haven't peed in four hours. Just go pee." "NOOOOOO!!!!!" "Just sit on the potty and see if you have to pee. If you don't pee, that's okay." "NOOOOOO!!!!" "Fine, let's go." We leave. Walk down the street. "Mom? I have to pee!"
5) THE HAND WASHING FIGHT
Mazzy pees, wipes and flushes. Starts to run out of the bathroom. "Mazzy, you have to wash your hands." "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" "Yes, you have to wash your hands." "NOOOOOO!!!!!!" "Mazzy, you always have to wash your hands after you go to the bathroom. That's never going to change." "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!" "I'm not letting you out of the bathroom until you wash your hands." "Fine." We turn the faucet on. "IT'S TOO HOT!!!" Kill me.
6) THE DRIED MANGO FIGHT
We always have dried mango in the house from Trader Joe's. Mazzy loves it. However. In each bag there is always one or two big juicy slices of mango and the rest are smaller shreds. Mazzy only wants the big pieces. "Can I have a piece of mango, please?" "Sure." I hand her one. "NO! A big piece!!!!" "That is a big piece." "NO! THAT IS NOT A BIG PIECE!!!!" "Well, it's the biggest one in the bag." "I WANNA BIG PIECE!!!!!!!" "Look for yourself." Tears.
7) THE POOP FIGHT
Mazzy still refuses to poop on the potty. She likes to hold it in all day until we put on her nighttime diaper. Every night, we have the following conversation: "I want to put on my diaper now." "Mazzy, do you have to poop? Let's try pooping on the potty." "No. I don't want to poop on the potty!" "Big girls poop on the potty." "I don't want to be a big girl!" Finally, I give in and put on the diaper. Mazzy goes to bed and three minutes later, "MOMMMMM!!!! I POOPED!!!!!"
8) THE DESSERT FIGHT
"Mom? Can I have a treat?" "You had ice cream after lunch." "But I want a treat NOW!!!!!" "You know the rule. Only one treat a day." "NOOOOOOO!!!!"
Or. If, she didn't have a treat after lunch.
"Mom? Can I have a treat." "Sure, but only one cookie." "Okay." I hand her a cookie. "Thanks, Mom!!!" She's happy. She eats it. She's done. "Mom? Can I have another cookie, please?" "I told you only one cookie." "NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
I can't win.
9) THE TRANSPORTATION FIGHT
"Carry me!" "Mazzy, you are not a baby." "Carry me!!!" "I can't carry you. You're too heavy and I'm already carrying a bag." "Carry me!!!" "I asked you if you wanted to take the stroller and you said you wanted to walk." "I don't want to walk!!!" "Well, it's too late now." "Carry me!!!!" "Let's get a cab."
10) THE TELEVISION FIGHT
"Mom? Can I watch a show?" "You already watched two shows this morning." "I WANT TO WATCH A SHOW!!!!!!!" "Why don't you draw something or do a puzzle." "I don't want to draw something or do a puzzle!!!" "Well, I'm sorry. You'll have to figure out something else to do." Mazzy runs into the other room. "Dad!!!! Can I watch a show????" "Sure." Mazzy runs back. "Dad said I could watch a show." AWESOME.
These happen at everyone's house, right?
Ha!
8 through 10 is a regular in our household. I pretty much ignore #5 because I am a terrible unhygienic mom. I also ignore #3 because I have a boy. Though lately I have tried to comb his hair and it does ensue into a chase game around the house. #4 depends on the parent. . . . I have few problems. . .. the hubby had a pee shower/bath/soak accident today. . . sorry I can’t do everything for you dude. (dude is referring to the hubs not the kid . . . .)
ummmm Yes. A couple exceptions but can substitute those for situations brewing for you (the dreaded sibling battles) and yup. 80% accuracy over here! Not just for the situation but for the conversation you typed. Like you have a hidden camera set up and are transcribing my life actually … hmmmm.
You forgot the dinner fight.
“I’m done!” “No you are not. You haven’t touched anything but your fruit.” “I’m full” “No you are not, 10 minutes ago you were DYING of starvation- 3 bites of (fill in main dish here).” “I don’t like (main dish)!” “You did last time I made it.” “I don’t want to!” “3 bites.” Eventually leading up to a hesitant barely there nibble and the exclamation that said food is his FAVORITE… Ugh.
Absolutely. Except we have a stuffed animal fight, as well. You know, we’re leaving and I tell her she can bring one “friend” and only one then we spend 10 minutes grabbing one heading for the door only to turn around to switch it out for another one. Ultimately, she brings 5 because she’s indecisive and I’m impatient. Let’s go already! Insert number 4 from your list here.
My daughter was the same way about pooping. She would only poop when she had a diaper on. I finally broke the habit by letting her put on a diaper, but she had to sit on the toilet with the diaper on to poop. I know crazy, but after about doing that for a week the next time she needed to poop she knew to get a pull-up on and sit on the potty. Then I cut a hole in the pull-up (she couldn’t see it) and when she pooped it went in the potty. She thought it was magic. However, about five minutes later she asked me if I cut a hole in it. I confessed, but the next time she needed to go poop I asked her if she wanted the magic pull-up. She said no, and we have not looked back since then. I don’t know if it will work for Mazzy, but it really helped my little one.
LOL – I have eliminated flight #4. In our house, we have “hiding pee”. Everyone has to get rid of the hiding pee before they leave the house. You know it’s hiding because you don’t feel it but it’s there! Works like a charm (several friends have adopted this one too).
OH man… I remember the dinner time fights. “You have to eat 3 bites of meat, and 4 bites of veggies and drink all your milk.” “How about 2 bites of meat and no veggies and I have a soda?” I finally told my husband I was SICK AND TIRED of having to do math word problems every night at the dinner table! LOL
We had the pee fight for a while too… we finally convinced them to “just try” and pee… for some reason that worked and they STILL do it. It cracks me up when I say, “We’re getting in the car, does anyone have to pee?” and my too-cool-tomboy 12 year old will look at me and say, “I’ll go try.” 🙂 I get a flash of the 3 year old who still let me put pigtails in her hair. 🙂
Of course all those fights are now replaced by the, “He’s sitting in my seat” fight and the “she has my ipod charger” fight and the “he’s irritating me, I HATE HIM” fight. I guess someday I’ll miss those too. 🙂
Yes. Yesyesyesyesyes. 1, 3, 4, 8, and 10. Every. Single. Day.
What is the big frigging deal about sitting on the potty before we go somewhere? Why is this such a battle?
And you know what’s even better? When my 4yo won’t try the potty before putting on a snowsuit. You know what happens next. Comes back in after 5 minutes outside. All wet and snowy. “MOOOOOOM I HAVE TO PEEEEEE.”
Argh!!!
100%
My oldest is the exact same age as Mazzy and this is pretty much my life. Just wait until Harlow starts voicing her opinion over everything too!
They sure do. I threatened to cut off all of my daughter’s hair if she didn’t stop fighting me on brushing it. I said I would cut it as short as her brother’s hair. That seemed to work. As for the pooping, we knew she had to go so we got her completely naked. I trusted she wouldn’t poop on the floor, and she didn’t. Two nights in a row of doing this and she was potty trained.
We have the same fights in our house almost every day! My son is only a month younger than Mazzy and I made the mistake of saying he’s getting much better as he gets closer to 4. Of course I spoke too soon…
Thankfully my son isn’t as verbal as Mazzy just yet, but we still have daily fights. He ALWAYS wants me to carry him everywhere. Once he started walking, he wanted nothing to do with me, and now that he’s used to it, he’s over it.
O.M.G. yes…all of them at our house except #7 & #9.
1-8 every damn day (except it’s not Trader Joe’s mango)! We drive most places where we live so the carry me thing doesn’t happen often but tv is a constant fight in our house.
If I have to have one more food fight, I may lose my mind. “Mason, what do you want for dinner?” “Mac & Cheese” “Okay, here you go.” “I not like mac & cheese.” “Yes you do.” “No I don’t” “You said you wanted it, now you have to eat it.” “I not hungry” ten minutes later… “I hungry” “Then eat your mac & cheese” “ok…” two bites later “I not want mac & cheese.” now starts lying mode… “daddy said I have to have ice cream for dinner.” “No he didn’t. Eat your mac & cheese.” exhausting….
As the mom of 13 boys (Did I say 13? I meant 3, it just FEELS like there are 13 of them on some days), I learned early on that explaining cause & effect was the best idea I ever had. You want to get out of the cart and walk through Target? If you get out, I’m not putting you back in but you’ll get tired of walking. You don’t want to potty before we leave? There is no potty where we’re going (there’s potties everywhere, but they dont know that) and you’ll have to hold it and you might have an accident. Somehow it worked wonders with our kids, even with jackets (you’ll FREEZE), snacks (this one will help you grow and be strong), and sleeping (you’ll need energy to do xxx later). Some of my reasonings are exaggerated, but my oldest (age 7) is really good at thinking about how his decisions affect him later on. I’ll count that as a win.
My Son sounds just like Mazzy. I say “Tyler, even firemen and policemen use the potty.” He says “Yep, but not me!”
Ilana, Mazzy and my three year-old Molly are spirit animals.
During breakfast/lunch/dinner: The Sit On Your Bottom (both cheeks on the chair, please) With Your Plate In Front Of You (no, do not sit sideways) and Use A @#%@! Fork (not your fingers, please) Fight. Yes.
I have been telling them both that every single meal for at least 5 years and it’s getting old.
My youngest patches one eye for a couple of hours a day because he has amblyopia, so we also get the delightful daily fight about putting on the patch and how long he has to wear it.
I’m so glad I’m not alone!! Thankfully we don’t have the hair-brushing fight or I might lose it. We do have the bedtime fight – “5 more minutes mommy!”
The knot genie has helped us a ton with fight #5, no sorry its not a genie in a bottle that pops out & brushes their damn hair for us….that would be AMAZING!!! Look it up on amazon, totally worth $12. Netflix Daniel tiger has helped us with #4, “if you have to go potty, STOP & GO RIGHT AWAY. Flush & wash & be on your way.” I’m not sure what episode it is but my just turned 4 yr. Old has finally started washing w/o being told while she sings the ditty above 🙂
Mazzy sounds exactly like my oldest Adisen! She is 6. This morning was another typical battle getting ready for school. She had it in her head which pair of jean shorts she wanted to wear, not knowing I had washed them last night and forgot to put them in the dryer (mommy fail). After a 30 minute battle of me telling her they are not dry and she would be so uncomfortable I let her put them on only for her to tell me “ooh mom these are too wet”. and taking them off. Tear.
That’s my life!! I keep waiting for CPS to call but fortunately, her daily pop tart breakfast and lunchable lunches seem to keep her from wasting away entirely.
We battle hand washing all the time too. Our 3 y.o. son is a CHAMPION hand washer at school – uses a paper towel to turn the faucet off and everything! At home, he complains about hand washing constantly – his reasoning “I didn’t touch anything”. We have solved the potty before you leave by letting him pee outside on our big tree when we are in a pinch and need to leave ASAP (classy right?)
TV is the worst. We had a 30 minute melt down this weekend – after playing iPad for an hour, we logically refused to let him watch tv. He followed me everywhere around the house, throwing himself on the floor, crying to watch TV, while I got myself, him, and a 5 month old ready for the day.
The best is how quickly they turn it off and switch to the sweet and polite tactic. “Please mom may I please watch a little tv, just one episode of might machines”
My fight with my 3yr old son is putting his clothes on the right way round, (I know not a biggy)but then you have well meaning mothers telling me in the shop he has his t-shirt on back to front, (as if i don’t know and i spent 20 mins trying to convince him to put it on right…..) also my 2yr old is a minx for letting me put tights on them telling me she needs to poop!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Welcome to motherhood…. wheres that in the manual, oh i forgot there is no manual!
#1 – Check
#2 – Check, except with milk, because I deliberately don’t keep juice in the house.
#3 – My son has a buzz cut so the most he fights about is whether he can brush his hair while I’m brushing mine. No, you can’t.
#4 – Kid loves going to the bathroom right now, but I’m sure it’ll get there eventually.
#5 and #6 – don’t have, thankfully!
#7 – I switched my son to underwear and threw out the nighttime diapers, took a couple weeks of lots of sheet washing, but not having the option made him a lot more eager to get it where I wanted it to go.
#8 & #9 – alllll the time!
#10 – check, except we don’t have TV so it’s whether or not he can watch me play plants vs. zombies (and if we do, he gets really annoyed when I don’t pick his favorite plants.
<3
yes
Oh the fun we have to look forward to!! Our son is 22 months old and his least favorite thing in the world is having his teeth brushed. I remove everything from the bathroom counter, sit him up there and place my body in front of him so he can’t fall (or more likely jump) off. Next, I try to squeeze some toothpaste onto the toothbrush while my son tries to lay on the countertop and stick his hands and feet into the sink. I pull the hands and feet out of the sink so I can turn on the water (not fair, he has four and I only have two, one of which is wielding a toothbrush with toothpaste)! Finally get all limbs away from the sink, try to get the toothbrush into his little mouth. He wraps his lips around his teeth!!! Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle the toothbrush in about the same time the limbs have wiggled free and are now repeatedly turning the fan and light switches on and off! EVERY DAY, TWICE A DAY!!! And I didn’t even get to his other tactics… Think it would be easier to have him stand on a stool, NOT! Then he tries to stick both arms under the water, buries his face in the sink, and jumps up and down off the stool until he decides to completely collapse himself onto the floor for me try and scrape up!
Yes!!! My almost 3 year old is the same way! So exhausting.
I would pay money for someone to come over here and convince my children (almost 5 and almost 3) that peeing and pooping on the potty require less time than 8 outfit changes a day = more play time. It is easier to stop playing, go potty, resume playing. Why don’t they understand this? Why do they fight me EVERY time I make potty break a requirement? Why? Why? It is a logical rule yet they still cry and yell and never have to go. And we run out of underwear every other day. Maddening. Good thing they are cute.
100% yes…except the bath thing. She likes baths (minus hair washing)
My son is 2 and I think everyday since he was born I have had to wrestle him down to get clothing on . I am so tired of saying you must wear pants in public. The best part is he only fights with me about it not dad or the grandparents.
So very familiar, all of it. The not being able to win is what really gets me. So frustrating!!! Kids are ridiculous and irrational. Adorable and a total joy and blah blah blah – but ridiculous. So glad we’re all in the same boat, at least. 😉
Yes, that Daniel Tiger episode totally helped my son with the washing hands thing, too!
I feel your pain! Somewhere around 3-1/2, he finally stopped fighting me about putting them on to leave the house, but the second we walked back in the door, they’d be off. And I had to explain that everyone else’s house counted as public, too. Nothing like going visiting and having him strip down when we walked in the door. He’ll still take his socks off, though, but at least the pants stay on now (he’s four).
We gave the “i’m still hungry” fight after a child doesn’t finish their food, the “Get off your sister/brother” fight every afternoon and of course the “I don’t want to go to _____”
Ilana, my daughter stopped complaining about the hair brushing after the time i went bat shit crazy on her and fetched the scissors. I told her i wouldn’t actually mind cutting it myself…
These are so true to my everyday life with my 3 yr old boy, I could haven’t written this myself. Only substitute veggies chips for the mango slices! I live in crazy town, that’s for sure! And I have learned with my 8 yr old that while things get slighty better, the fights don’t go away we just fight about different things now. Oh the joys of parenthood!
You forgot the addendum to #1 and #5.
#1…Time to get out of the tub now. NOOOO!!!! I’M PLAYING!!!
#5…why are you still int he bathroom?? Haven’t you finished washing your hands yet? “Ummmm….almost done!” and then you walk into a sink full of suds, water-soaked counters and floor.
It’s a fight to get them to do it, but once it’s begun, you can’t seem to get them to finish!
My husband and I were just having a what-is-wrong-with-us-why-can’t-we-be-better-parents talk this morning. Why? Because of our fights with our 3-year-old about bath time. And TV. And handwashing. And carrying him vs. the stroller.
I would add The Jacket Fight. My son hates putting on his coat. We live in Seattle. He HAS to wear a rain coat. We go back and forth and back and forth until finally I agree to let him “carry” his coat. Then after 2 minutes outside, “I’M GETTING ALL WET!!!!” Yes, son, you are.
When my son turned 3 it was like a switch went off! It reminds me that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Therefore, I think anything we do as parents should not be held against since we should be deemed clinically insane!
I got lucky on the pooping in the potty with the twins. Everything is a competition. “My poop’s bigger!” ” Uh uh! Mine is MONSTER POOP!” Both: “Mom! Take a picture!”
OH MY GOSH YES!! We have 8 out of the 10 fights on a daily basis with our 2 year old. We can replace those other 2 with the “cover me up” fight which happens every single night even if it’s 85 degrees. She needs to be covered up and she needs ME to do it. And the “its to hot” fight. Any food or drink over room temperature is “too hot.”
oh, I’m laughing at your 10 fights — too funny! — but laughing at you SYMPATHETICALLY because I know how frustrating the 3’s can be! Everyone kept talking about the Terrible 2’s and I secretly smugly congratulated myself because my kids were angels when they were 2. Then they turned 3. RELEASE THE KRAKEN! Oh my Lord, the 3’s were KILLER! (But they survive and you survive. And it’s all good until they hit PUBERTY! EEEEEEK!)
Re#7 this is a great idea as long as your kids DON’T share a room…..mine do and so do Mazzy and Harlow. It’s hard to change sheets and bedding when there is a baby in the room. 🙁
Yup. Fights before the bath. Every. Single. Day.
Is time for your bath Ethan, NOOOOOOOOO, (runs away as fast as he can) after screaming, kicking and tears we successfully take a bath.
NAP TIME. Is a biggie around here, if someone fed me and put me in my comfy bed at noon, I would be ALL about it, taking my son for a nap is closely attempt of murder for him. He cries and screams WHYYYY??? while he is in his crib, cries for 10 minutes and passes out for the next 2 hours. T
Lunch/dinner fights. My husband and I try to sit down all together in the table, my son sits in his high chair, has 2 bites of nuggets, screams ALL DONE and starts to climb off the high chair.
I feel ya sista! Hang in there.
The patch sucks! I haven’t had to wear one since I was 3 or 4, but I still remember that I hated it!
You really need to develop a few ‘mommy skills’. Really?! A little more flexibility wouldn’t kill you – but your current approach might.
If your goal is to make every single issue in a three year old’s life a classic power struggle, you have succeeded.
This is sure a lot of avoidable drama, mama!
What!?
I meant WTF?!
Thanks for posting this Ilana! Lately I was starting to feel like I was always fighting with Ella lately, but now I realize its pretty universal. I feel so much better! :))
My 3 year old likes to fight with me about putting his pants on. He doesn’t want to be naked, but really doesn’t want to pull his pants up himself. He has thrown hour long fits about me not pulling his pants up for him. Pure joy, I tell ya.
So… you’ll probably all hate me on this, but no.. we don’t have these arguements… simply not tolerated… bath time is bath time, she has time to play w/her toys & after its time to wash, if she tries to argue, no toys next time…juice fight.. nope.. she gets what she gets & that’s that…haur brushing… she’s expected to sit down & get her hair brushed & done… she knows if she makes it hard on her, I will give her ‘boy hair’ and I’m not joking… did it to her sister for continuing to bite her hair off to the point of chewing pieces off.. so, cut it too short to bite… they listen about hair time now…potty time… sit & try… that’s that… hand washing… told her if she doesn’t then she won’t wash away bad germs that can make her & all of us sick… she’s fanatical about washing…dried mango or desert fight… If she gets a treat… Its expected that she week be grateful & if not, then it gets taken away or not given or next time she gets none….poop & potty time, she’s expected to try…about transportation, she knows she’s not s baby & expected top walk….television… Minimal is allowed….sounds like you could do with revisiting who’s in charge & stirring boundaries, because I do not argue with a toddler… I am the parent, she is the child…. Our worse time is meals, but then again, she had a tine to eat, when that’s over, is done, if she hadn’t finished an acceptable amount, nothing to east again until next meal… We have very minimal arguing in our home because we have set consistent boundaries
I am not mommy (yet– yes, I still want to even after reading through all of this!) but I work with autistic kids for a living, and one family also had issues with toothbrushing. Since he was 4 and tends to get violent, they would wrap him in a towel with his arms and legs restrained and brush. When he was finished, he earned access to the iPad, and before long he stopped fighting, and decided to do it on his own. Now, he’s so used to it, they don’t need the iPad as a reward. Some techniques I would add is use of a timer. You could start out with a small amount of time, and as soon as the timer goes off, release him from the towel, praise him heavily, and then give whatever reward he likes (favorite toy he only gets on special occasions, tv show, etc– whatever it is needs to be something he can’t get on his own). Then gradually increase the time
Continued– the second technique I would add is ways to make it “fun” sound effects, songs (there’s a brush your teeth kids song by Raffi, and there are probably others) The third thing, that probably should have been mentioned first, is “priming” which essentially means preparing your child for what’s coming. “First, your going to play for 3 more minutes. Then we are going to brush your teeth. When you are all done, you get to (whichever reward you’ve selected.)” You could also use pictures to help explain– a illustration of toys or a picture of his, one for toothbrushing, and one for his toys.
Hope some of this helps!
I’m sorry, but did you get the wrong kid because that sounds exactly like mine! Yep, all of those. My recommendation: HAPPY PILLS. (for you, not the kid)
So funny we have most of these same fights with my 3.11 year old! I found a good solution (temporary I’m sure) for the hair brushing fight…I tell her I have to brush her hair so she doesn’t get bugs. They do lice checks in her preschool and I tell her that if I don’t brush her hair the school lady will find bugs and she won’t get to go to school anymore. Then I can also get a minute for styling if I promise to make a hairdo just like Belle (half-up) but if I try any other style…MELTDOWN!
Ours is exactly the same fights. Although, after we are running 10 minutes late because of the PEE before you leave argument, he then says he has to POOP. So then, he has to strip down to nothing to go to the bathroom. When he is done, he then fights me on the hand washing because “he didn’t touch anything.” Not sure who taught my boys that one, but boy that can be frustrating!
What don’t you get? I think it’s all sad.
OMG. I need you in my house. Yes, boundaries and clear expectations are a must, I totally agree with you. I recently had a dose of reality when visiting a friend who has 8 kids and there is no arguing, whining, crying or fighting in that house. They run a tight ship. I felt like the biggest whimp of a parent. I do admit that I allow way too much. I’ve also had to threaten with a boy cut and it worked beautifully (just fyi Mommyshorts), but we still have a lot of arguing. After visiting my friend, we’ve come down hard on talking back and fighting back. It’s hard to undo the damage we’ve done, but I think we’re making a little progress.
So, in sum, yes, this happens to a lot of us. We get sucked into the whole dance routine, but we have to lay down the law at some point. And Erin brings up valid points.
Also, I have to add that many times I just feel to exhausted to be the disciplining parent and that’s when I go soft. I know that so now I have to work on. I’m just too damn tired to think straight and be the parent. I know, bad.
Try putting her in underpants at night.
We have the exact same child. Oh my god. Sorry, but this post makes me feel awesome because either you and I are both doing something wrong, or this is just normal 3 year old behavior!! I am going with that one.
Can I just tell you all: it gets better. And so much easier, yet harder in different ways.
The worst is the nightly fight at 3am where my 3yo insists that only daddy can help him to the potty. The boy likes to be mean and say “I don’t want you” and likes to be loud, which wakes the baby.
Rest assured, we have these very same fights. Except about the mango. And we had the only-poop-in-the-diaper problem, too. I told her there were more diapers and it took her about three days to get it. Good luck!
As a mom of four, I can tell you it’s harder to avoid fighting with a very verbal child. It’s much easier to ignore vague complaints ( “no want” ) than a full fledged dialogue of what they don’t want to do and why:) looks like you have a talker on your hands, good luck!
Forgive me if someone has posted this already, but my niece has trouble with her 2 year old having no fear of running into the street. When they are out in the yard, as soon as her current activity has lost keeping her attention, she’s off to the races. Any good suggestions for getting a 2 year old to understand boundaries.
Fights I have with my five year old
1. Hairstyles. I want to put her hair in two braids, but she wants a bun.
2. Kindergarten. I literally have to shove her on that bus everyday.
3. Taking her mittens off. She loves them more than anything in the world.
4. The pool. She wants to go in the pool, but it’s too cold. (Insert tantrum)