I don't think it should come as any big surprise that my husband and I don't make enough time for each other. Not that we aren't madly, deeply, passionately in love (although it gets harder and harder to say that with a straight face)— it's just that we are parents.
We are exhausted. We watch each other wipe crap off of little people's asses. We shake our heads at each other's lack of parenting skills. Mike has seen me hooked up to a breast pump while sitting topless at our kitchen counter. He's gotten up close and personal with my favorite nursing bra that should probably have been burned three years ago. I've watched him stumble into a wall in the middle of the night while carrying a pee-soaked sheet pulled blindly from Mazzy's bed. I've seen him with the most pathetic of ailments— THE MAN COLD.
Still, we are a team, we make things work and I feel pretty lucky we found each other. We just haven't made spending time alone together a priority in a long time. Unless you count watching television on the same couch while we both play on our iPhones.
This year, we made a New Year's resolution to go out more. Not as a family, but as a couple. Actual dates where we hire a sitter. Not parties, not double dates— BY OURSELVES.
Starting this month, I partnered with HowAboutWe to make keeping our resolution as fun and easy as possible.
HowAboutWe started as an online dating site but has now expanded from "finding love" to helping couples "stay in love" too. They give you a variety of curated date ideas tailored for two (stuff that goes way beyond "dinner and a movie"), you pick what interests you, and then they arrange everything for you at a discounted price.
Which is very helpful for a couple like us who has made this kind of promise before but never followed through. Kids are just too convenient of an excuse.
Mike and I started simple and agreed to use HowAboutWe to go on one date a month, our first date being last Saturday night.
We poured through options like "Ping Pong and Wings at Break Bar & Billiards", "Urban Oyster's Brooklyn Eating Tour" and an "At Home Couples Massage from Zeels".
Ultimately, we went with "Dinner and Dancing at Hotel Chantelle" because as our first date, it felt like the most romantic. We got a sitter, dressed up and even braved the freezing cold to get to the trendy downtown venue with a rooftop restaurant and an underground bar.
Then we drank too much, made fun of the fact that we were the oldest people in the place and ate ridiculous things like truffled tater tots and mini lobster rolls— stuff I never would have eaten back in my diet-conscious dating days. When the dessert menu was delivered and Mike said, "Let's get the Nutella Marshmallow Bread Pudding" and I answered "HELLS YEAH!", I knew I'd made a stellar husband choice.
We had such a great time, we didn't even look at our phones once!
(Total lie.)
We couldn't get many good photos because it was really dark in the restaurant, so here's a photo of Mike pretending to be really old and using the light of his phone to see to the menu.
At least, I think he was pretending.
I took a bathroom selfie because I was scared I'd have no photos of us to use for the post.
Bathroom selfies are very romantic, in case you didn't know.
But then, when we stumbled out the door way past midnight (it was actually 10:45pm, but just humor me), I asked a passing stranger if he would take a picture of the two of us.
I think this picture says it all. Two happy people thrilled to be in each other's company after a successful night out. Just like old times.
I can't wait for next month. Maybe we'll try a "Tour of NYC's Sweet Shops" or go on a "Scavenger Hunt in the Brooklyn Museum". Or maybe we'll even do this more than once a month.
Thank you HowAboutWe for motivating us and making this happen!
We needed it.
—————————
If you are interested in trying HowAboutWe, you can sign up for free and browse their date options. Plus, you can take $50 off your first date by booking through this promo link.
They are now curating dates in New York, Chicago, San Francisco and Seattle with plans to start in more cities soon.
This post was sponsored by HowAboutWe, but all thoughts and opinions are my own.
Very nice. Such a great help with ideas. Wish there were something like that down here in Texas!
That is great! My mom will be moving to my city soon … I too rarely “date” my husband, though it had something to do with not wanting to pay just as much for a sitter as for a night out! Last Christmas, my mom was in town so as her “present” to us, babysat the kids overnight and we went out to dinner and a hotel. It was amazing!! And honestly – all we did at the hotel was sleep 🙂 Hey, we can do the other stuff at home – how else did we produce two kids? But the 3 hour dinner at a restaurant, where we could leisurely enjoy our meal, not be interrupted a billion times, only go to the bathroom when WE wanted to, only need to bring our purse/wallet (not a backpack stuffed with toys/crayons etc.) – that was luxury, that was priceless. (Plus it’s ABOUT TIME a company invested in couples staying together, not just focusing on setting them up then, nada! Kudos to them!!).
Such a good idea! I keep saying we need to go on some sort of date once a month but our last date was back in August for our anniversary… So, yeah. That’s working out for us.
I think this sort of thing would make it way easier since it comes up with ideas for us. We’re totally lame and prefer Netflix marathons to actual thinking and planning.
This looks like an awesome service. I already found 3 dates that I want to try with my husband… now we just need to find a babysitter for our 3 month old!
Unfortunately the $50 off the first date isn’t coming up when I try to check out… are there any exclusions?
very awesome! but paying for a sitter on top of a date night tends to be too expensive for us to go out even once a month 🙁
I am so so so so so sad:
Wonderful experiences…for two.
We’ll be in your city soon
Right now we’re curating HowAboutWe Dates in New York, Chicago, San Francisco, and Seattle. We’ll let you know when we’re in your city.
Cute idea! I just wish How About We had some dates for our city.
I signed up for the website and they’re no in Nashville yet : /
Bummed because I absolutely love this idea. Hopefully they’ll come soon!
How fun! And Nutella Bread Pudding is motivation enough for me to get out of the house more with my husband!
First – OMG. THE MAN COLD. dealing with that right now and it is pathetic.
Second – Glad you go out! Inspired me to try to do that too. Now I need to find out who to con out of free babysitting…
Third – Your husband reminds me alot of someone I had a serious crush on in college. And Nutella desserts! You’ve got a keeper.
that website is a great idea, and the NY resolution is good too! congrats on following through!
I just emailed them to see if there is a problem with the link. Will report back soon!
Okay- I had the wrong link. Should be working now!
Good grief, you two are cute together. What a cool website, I’m excited to check it out!
With my 7 mo old preemie sequestered in our tiny apartment for the winter to avoid illness and this Polar Vortex – I have been feeling very secluded and lonely! I want to go on the horseback riding/wine tasting!
The hubby and I work opposite schedules so it is near impossible to schedule date nights, nevermind the fact that I don’t want to pay for a sitter, so we’re at the mercy of my friends’ and family’s generosity. We do need to make more of an effort (I do have a bit of a guilt complex when it comes to asking people to babysit).
My husband’s work party is next week and his manager insisted we bring the boys (all of his coworkers love the kids) but we put our foot down and say “no.” Parents sometimes need the opportunity to act like regular adults, too.
I say take a tour of the Sweet Shops! That sounds awesome! Plus, you guys look amazing! A few months ago, we arranged for a monthly night out with a sitter. We don’t always go by ourselves, but we do get away from the kids. Happy dating!
I spent more time talking to Mike this morning at Chelsea Piers than I’ve spent talking to you in the last 6 months! We need to make a date too!
Awesomeness. We have one baby and try to get a sitter every other Saturday night. You have to make time!
Yay for date night! Also, thanks for posting this new service. Can’t wait to check it out!
Your dating resolution has inspired me. We have a seven month old baby boy who has taken over our lives. This year I want to date my husband.
So were going to go for it…but I’m a little worried as the system seems to work like a Groupon… Do the wait staff treat HowAboutWe patrons similarly to how Groupon patrons are treated?
I’ve never used Groupon but the wait staff was incredibly nice to us! We had no problems.
You guys are such a cute couple! This is a great idea, especially doing things together that give you something to talk about besides work and the kids. Cmon DateBook, start one up in New Zealand!
What a great post! I laughed out loud at the part about not looking at your phones once 🙂 Well done! (Both the post and the dating …)
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Greetings………..What a great and wonderful testimony.
I am SMITH TRINITY JANE from northern ireland, i want to use this golden medium to appreciate Dr. IMONAH a great spell caster for helping me retrieving back my relationship with my ex husband when he ended and turned back on me for quite a long time now (5 months ago). He performed a spell for me and for 48 hours after the spell had been casted i recieve a text from my ex husband saying that he is sorry for the pains and tears that he had caused me and that he will not do such thing to me again in his life again. I was surprised but later accepted him back again. Anyone that is in the same line of problem or different one and want to contact him should happily contact him now on this email address. (drimonahspiritualtemple@yahoo. com) He is very powerful and can help you.