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Today, I am going to Utah for a family ski vacation. All those words sound perfectly lovely together— vacation, family, Utah, etc.— but they leave out one very important detail. THE PLANE RIDE.

Not just ONE PLANE RIDE, but TWO PLANE RIDES.

Both of which will surely have their own special flavor of disaster.

For the record, Mazzy is fine on a plane. You just load some games and movies up on her iPad and she's content for the next 20-25 hours. 

It's Harlow I'm worried about.

Harlow, the baby who can only nap in pitch dark with a noise machine and NO INTERUPTIONS WHATSOEVER.

Never once have I snuck into Harlow's room while she is asleep and made it out without incidence. Harlow pokes her head up the second her door is cracked, as if she'd been wide awake the whole goddamn time. And then, when you quickly sneak back out (not even having attempted what you came in there to do), Harlow starts crying like sleep training all over again.

I was thinking about this as I was looking through all the adorable photos for the Team Cuddle Contest. Babies sleeping with dogs, babies sleeping with dads, babies sleeping with babies… I'm not amazed that all these babies are sleeping with a buddy, I'm amazed that someone was able to sneak up on them and snap a picture without the baby waking up prematurely and screaming her head off. 

Also, to take a good photo of your baby napping, there has to be light in the room. Harlow doesn't just sleep with the light off, she sleeps with black out shades that we had installed as soon as we realized our baby had a bit of a sleep issue.

I took TONS of pictures of Mazzy sleeping when she was a baby. I LOVE pictures of babies sleeping.

It's just not a possibility with Harlow.

All this is to say, Harlow will most certainly NOT be napping on our flight. 

Not only that, I'll be surprised if she even sits still in my lap. The girl is a squirmy one. 

She wants to run around, press every button she can find (nobody let her into the cockpit!) and only be held while I am standing up.

You think the flight crew will make a rare exception and let me just hold onto the seatbelt while standing in the aisle holding Harlow during take-off?

Yeah, me neither.

Also, I should note, since Harlow is under two, she is not required to have her own seat, so we did not purchase one. If we had, we could have buckled her into her car seat, which I actually think would have gone pretty well. Harlow is good in the car. 

But… we chose to save the cost of an extra seat ticket in return for possibly the worst four hours of our lives. I'm sure it will be worth it.

Oh! I forgot to mention the scariest part!

Remember Mazzy? The four-year-old who I said is perfectly content on a plane as long as she can play with her iPad?

I'm pretty sure that goes to total shit when you put her baby sister next to her. You think Harlow is going to let her big sister play with her iPad in peace?

Nope. She's going to touch, poke, grab and push buttons that end Mazzy's movie in the middle. 

Unfortunately for Mazzy (and *ahem* everyone else seated around us), nobody will be spared from the hell of Harlow on a plane.

Sorry in advance!

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Here's a pie chart I created after I took Mazzy on her first plane ride a few years ago. Oh, I thought I had it so hard then. Worrying all about one baby. I'll be interested to see how much my pie chart changes after this trip. 

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Any tips about traveling with two kids, please leave them in the comments!