Yesterday, I was on an elevator with my dad when he asked a total stranger when she was due. I knew the answer before she spoke and the moment passed in slow motion with a long low “NOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo” in my head.
Woman: I already had him. 20 months ago.
Dad: Oh, I thought because you—
Me: STOP TALKING.
Thanks Dad for the horrible awkward silence that followed us for the next eights floors up.
I wrote about my experience on my facebook page last night and one very astute woman named Jenica said, “It is best not to ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you actually see a baby emerging from her vagina”.
HOW TRUE.
That comment inspired me to make the handy guide below. I think it will help nosy/brainless men and women everywhere (sorry, Dad).
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Love!
Same happen to me! I run into a colleague who had told me she was looking for baby #2, had a huge belly AND was wearing maternity cloths, so of course I congratulated her. She was not pregnant, just had colitis…longest elevator ride ever. Lesson learned. Never ask, ever, under any circumstance.
HAH! This is amazing. This is so true.
My neighbor once asked me if I was expecting. I asked her “Expecting what?” She babbled some nonsense and I walked away. NEVER ASK!
someone needs to teach children this too. i was asked by my son’s classmate and had to explain to her about different bodies, etc.
Awesome. I’ve done it. It’s horrible.
My favorite is “What are you having?” with no preceding question.
The clerk at the grocery store asked me this the other day and I had to hesitate for a moment and think to myself “does she mean baby-wise or dinner-wise?”
I was asked this recently. I just said “No, I’m just fat”. Person who asked was VERY embarrassed. lol
LOL Erin! My wife had that happen at the restaurant. The waitress asked, “What are you having?” My wife,totally appalled says, “We’re not sure yet, until the next ultrasound.” I tell my wife, “um baby brain! I think she is asking what do want to eat.” Needless to say, my wife made me tip her extra for her embarrassment.
I usually answer “What are you having?” with “A baby” or “Well, we’re pretty sure it’s NOT a kitten.”
We send Pearl (our daughter) to a school that some of our friends also send their kids to. I was talking to one of them about how silly the girls (there is a gaggle of girlies that hand out together) can be sometimes, he then proceeds to tell me that one of the little girls asked HIM if he had a baby in his belly. Yup, I couldn’t help but start CRACKING up. He was really awesome about it too, which made the whole thing pretty funny.
My husband asked our pediatrician this question and you’re right, it’s like slow motion but also happens so quickly you don’t have time to step on your husband’s foot and give him the look before he blurts it out. While checking our child, the pediatrician answered, “No I’m just old and fat.” AWKWARD. But I like her, she has a sense of humor.
Ugh. It’s never okay to ask. Once, while I was pregnant with my first, a skeevy old man came up to me at work and asked if I was pregnant. My boss didn’t know I was pregnant. My boss was standing about two feet away.
Awkward.
I said, “No.”
It is NEVER ok to ask…
My best friend passed away from a type of stomach cancer. The cancer always filled her belly with fluid and left her looking pregnant – at times like she was due any time. There were several times people asked her this questions. What do you say to them, “No, I’m sorry, I have cancer.” Talk about mouth dropping awkwardness. She would just politely smile and laugh about it when they walked away, but that’s they kind of person she was – truly remarkable. <3
My preschool aged daughter not only asked a woman who was NOT pregnant about the “baby in her belly”, she also patted the belly of a portly man and asked him why he “ate all the food.” I could not drag her away fast enough. I was so mortified. She should know better. Her family members all have different body types (nice way of saying I still look preggers).
I told myself when my son was born that I would never be offended if someone accidentally assumed I was pregnant again. Then the lady in the church nursery asked if I was pregnant again. I was so pissed.
When people ask me, I tell them it is a stomach tumor scheduled to be surgically removed next week.
I am actually pregnant. It is just fun to watch their face.
I used to work in a plus-sized clothing store, and I’m a bigger girl. I not only had someone ask me when I was due, but when I told her I wasn’t pregnant, she actually ARGUED with me! One – I know if I’m pregnant or not, and two – what the hell?! You’re in a store catering to big girls, and you assume that the big girl helping you is knocked up BECAUSE she’s big??
I had a guy at work that I don’t know well ask me what I was having. I was actually pregnant and knew the sex but didn’t want to share with someone who is basically a stranger. I told him we weren’t sharing the sex and he called me a terd…a TERD! A grown man! I avoid him at all costs now!
Question no. 9: are you operating an x-ray machine and she is close enough to be affected? If so, you should definitely ask that question. If not, shut it.
Never ask. Ever ever.
Never.
I just smile.
And nod.
People think I’m dumb, but not rude.
ok your next post is clever things to say in response to getting asked if you are pregnant when you aren’t. I work in NYC and as i’m not a fat arse but I did have two kids I have a little belly. I am very self conscious about it so I wear larger shirts. I get asked this a few times by men and it drives me nuts. The next time someone on the train asks me if I want there seat because i’m pregnant I am going to go along with it!
My daughter (she has an enlarged liver) has been asked three times, each a year or more apart, by the same church lady. Of course the medical issue was explained each time, either she is stupid or just uncaring, which ever you won’t see my daughter in church anytime soon. Just don’t ask!
I haven’t yet experienced the awkward asking of if I were pregnant, but both times I was pregnant I had random people come up to me to tell me what I was having based on how I looked. I also experienced the horrifying moment when a stranger puts their hands on your belly and talks to it. I almost bought a shirt from CafePress that said, “Yes you can touch my stomach, if I can punch you in the face”. My husband said it wouldn’t be appropriate.
Tell your husband that it is a TOTALLY appropriate shirt. Invasion of private space in exchange for invasion of private space!!
When my son was about 4 days old, my husband and I made a target run. He was carrying the carseat and I was a few steps ahead of him when I ran into a parent from the school I teach at, and she said “oh my gosh, you are still pregnant!?!” To which I responded, ” no, he’s just right behind me.” She was so so so embarrassed!
Omg! This happened to me last week when I vounteered and my son’s preschool class. A little boy raised his hand and asked me if I knew I had a baby in my belly. Just wanted to die and my poor son looked so confused. Luckily his great teacher said, “No, she had 2 babies in her belly but now their out and moving on…” Sigh.
I am an early childhood educator and often get asked by the children if I have a baby in my tummy. I tell them it’s because I eat too much! (Actually, it is because I like beer too much, but probably not appropriate to say that to 4 year olds!) I don’t think an adult would ask me, as I am 50.
How funny! My 5 yr old told me that he thought this elderly lady was pregnant. I told him never, EVER ask someone if she is pregnant. He then asked, “Can I whisper it to you and then you ask?” Um, no. I will not ask either.
I so know what this feels like. Wearing the wrong tops! When I finally got preg I was so happy
Good stuff! I have gained weight over the past year or so and am totally experiencing the guessing game with people. I never realized how much people cared about how I look. Such ignorance. Never ask or stare at a woman’s stomach. We see you staring too, even if you don’t say anything. It ain’t your business and if she wanted you to know she would tell you. Mind your business and like me for who I am not what I look like. Such an eye opener for me and how much pressure there is in society for women to have the “perfect” figure. ISO t hear anyone asking men with bellys if they are pregnant. Lol. I also now understand why women have eating disorders. Back off people and focus on yourself.
Very funny!
That said, those of us guys in urban areas who use public transportation will often face the “bus seat” dilemma. Either I’m a a cad for not offering a pregnant woman a seat because I don’t know for sure, or I offer a potentially not-pregnant woman a seat and risk offending her. That leaves offering *every* woman a seat, so as a result I usually just stand.
Actually Not yet experienced dat but if anyone ever asks u dat qn! “just ignore en move on”so they’ll have to ask whom z talking to u knw #madperson thx