I’m about to talk about smells. Not the good kind (we’ll get to that later). The kind that makes you break out the air freshener spray even though you hate the way the air freshener spray smells. You’re just hoping the metallic odor of the air freshener will disguise the even worse smell.
What does it say about air freshener that we spray it as far away from our bodies as possible and then hold our breath as we run out of the room like we have three seconds before the whole bathroom detonates?
Did I say bathroom? Yeah, that’s where the worst smells in our house happen (totally not my doing *ahem*), plus I wouldn’t dream of bringing the air freshener out of the bathroom where it could actually be sprayed near things we eat and sleep in.
I do not trust my air freshener. I do not want to inhale it. I do not want to eat it. I basically use it for EMERGENCY SMELL SITUATIONS. And smell emergencies only exist in my house when we have visitors. Otherwise, I’d rather wait out the natural stench than breathe in the chemical fumes of the supposed “freshener.”
This is why I am so excited Method just launched its new air refreshers. They come in lovely natural scents: french lavender, beach sage, wild poppy, sweet tangerine and fresh clover. The beach sage is my favorite, followed by the sweet tangerine. Mazzy likes the fresh clover. I asked her what she thought it smelled like and she said, “leaves”. EXACTLY.
Since it’s Method, I know all the products are non-toxic and eco-friendly. The new air refreshers are designed with revolutionary pressurized air technology, which means unlike most traditional aerosol sprays (which are powered by petroleum-based propellant mixed in with the product), they are powered by PURE AIR.
How that works exactly, I don’t know, but I don’t really know how my TV turns on either. All I know is that when you spray, you fill your room with one of Method’s vibrant all-natural scents. No CFCs (those are the things that destroy the ozone). No dirty propellants. No need to run out of the room screaming.
Today, Method and I are launching something really exciting. Remember when I created the Healthy Mama ad campaign earlier this year and then asked you all to write your own headlines for a chance to win $750? And you guys wrote way funnier lines than I did to begin with?
I’m doing the same for Method Air Refreshers. I created five mock ads (one for each of their fresh scents) talking about the things that stink in my house.
Here goes…
Now, I’d like to throw it to you guys to come up with even better, more specific, stinkier headlines (I’m assuming things smell bad in your house too), for the chance to win a grand prize $1,000 Target gift card and a year supply of Method Air Refreshers.
Plus, nine secondary winners will get a $50 gift card and the complete line of Method Air Refreshers.
Enticing enough for you?
To enter, just make sure you…
1) Follow both Method and Mommy Shorts on facebook
2) Share this post in some way (like/share on facebook, tweet on twitter, call your mom, etc.)
3) Leave a comment below. (You can enter multiple times, but please only leave one headline per comment.)
The structure should be as follows:
It’s like Mad Libs for horrible household smells! (Feel free to incorporate car and office stench too.) If more than one person enters the same stench, I will select the headline I think is worded the best. If they are worded the same, preference will go to the person who commented first.
You can find the full rules here.
I’ll post some of my favorites next week and then gear up to my ten finalists on September 4th. Then the winner will be selected by vote on September 17th.
If the headlines are funny enough (and I know you guys are funny)— there’s a slight possibility Method could actually use this in their Air Refresher campaign…
Fingers crossed and good luck!
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This post was sponsored by Method, but all thoughts, opinions and ad mock-ups are my own.
Instead of my entire house smelling like a moldy cheeseburger I didn’t know was in the floor vent, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
My son was going through a phase and he looooved throwing things down the floor vents since he figured out how to take them on and off. Apparently he tossed one in there when my back was turned. At first the house would occasionally smell like burgers, but it a was summer and I thought I was smelling barbeques from the neighbors. Then it started to stink. It got worse and we scrubbed down the entire house- not that it was messy/gross but we were desperate to purge the stink. After about a week I caught him with the vent open and putting a cookie down there. When I checked to see what else was hiding there was a fuzzy, gross thing. The cheeseburger was just barely recognizable and even when cleaned out (yes I gagged) it stunk for days. The AC just kept pushing the stink around.
Instead of my classroom smelling like 30 post recess middle schoolers I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of the baby room smelling like a full diaper bin where the trash bag has split open, again, I’d like it to smell like Fresh Clover.
Instead of my closet smelling like camp sneakers, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine!
Instead of the laundry room smelling like last spring’s baseball cleats I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of my living room carpet smelling like a 140lb. sweaty Great Dane slept there all day, I’d like it to smell like French Lavender.
Seriously.
Instead of our boys bedroom smelling like feet and fritos for some reason, we’d like it to smell fresh clover.
Instead of my bedroom smelling like a diaper pail AND like my husband saved every fart, all day long, just for bedtime, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover.
Instead of the bathroom smelling like my three sons take the toilet as a “suggestion only” for aiming, I’d like it to smell like French lavender.
Instead of my children’s rooms smelling like week old diapers and moldy, hidden PB&J halves, I would like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my classroom smelling like 30 trays of school lunch I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my car smelling like I left the sunroof open during a rainstorm I’d like it to smell like Fresh Clover.
Instead of my son’s bedroom smelling like he spent 12 hours playing baseball in the rain and afterwards left his cleats and uniform in a bag and opened it three days later in his room, I would rather his room smell like Beach Sage!!!
Instead of my laundry room smelling like projectile baby spit up, a week’s worth of yoga pants, and my husband’s funky body odor from working 12 hour shifts in the hot Florida sun, I’d like it to smell like French Lavender!
Instead of my bathroom smelling like I pushed my luck with my lactose intolerance, I’d like it to smell like Method’s Wild Poppy Air Freshener.
Instead of our shower smelling like a dingy, musty basement with leaky pipes, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of my bathroom smelling like the nursing home while potty training my 2 year old, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of my spare bedroom smelling like my potty training daughter sat on the carpet in multiple spots before I could wipe her poopy butt the day I ran out of spot carpet cleaner, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of my living room smelling like my toddler stole the horrid shoes of a professional athlete, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine!
instead of my car smelling like my friend’s Jack Russell rolled in dead fish, I’d like it to smell like beach sage. Btw warning to self never offer a ride home to a dead fish rolling dog again.
Instead of my bathroom smelling like my entire family has been using the tub instead of the toilet to do their “business”, I’d like it to smell like French Lavender
Instead of my car smelling like the “mystery smell” you can’t find , I’d like it to smell like French Lavender.
Instead of my living room smelling like my wet dog rolled in a dead animal carcass, I’d like it to smell like Method’s sweet tangerine.
Instead of my car smelling like the the lost but not forgotten sippy cup of milk that rolled under the seat 2 weeks ago, I would like it to smell like wild poppy.
Instead of my living room smelling like dog vomit, dirty laundry and old milk, I’d like it to smell like Beach Sage.
Instead of my couch smelling like a garbage disposal of spilled milk and stale, soggy Cheerios, I’d like it to smell like French Lavender.
Instead of my cat’s litter box smelling like I haven’t cleaned it in 3 years, I’d like it to smell like wild poppy.
Instead of the diaper pail smelling like the monkey house at the zoo, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover.
Instead of not being able to identify the smell in my teenager’s room, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover.
You can get Method in Canada. Canadian Tire, London Drugs, Target and Safeway sell it in Alberta.
Instead of my office smelling like the dirty diaper I’m sure the toddler hid in the desk, I’d like it to smell like beach sage!
Instead of my laundry room smelling like noxious feet, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine!
Instead of my workout room smelling like donuts, pizza and wine I would rather have it smell like fresh clover
Instead of my laundry room smelling like the musty clothes I left in the washer,I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my living room smelling like my freshly bathed dog took a skunk bath, I’d like it to smell like Method’s beach sage.
Instead of my laundry room smelling like wet dog,I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my bathroom smelling like my boys pee on the wall and floor instead of the toilet, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of the neighborhood smelling like the skunk our dog Sacha killed last night I would like it to smell like beach sage (or any.thing.else)
Instead of my little boys bathroom smelling like fusty diapers, I’d like it to smell like beach sage!
Instead of my hall closet smelling like a kid who wore jelly shoes all summer, I’d like to smell like Method’s Sweet Tangerine.
Instead of my living room smelling like the dead raccoon that I didn’t realize was in the backyard for at least three weeks, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of my bathroom smelling like my cat impregnated the entire neighborhood with his phermones, I would rather it smell like beach sage.
Instead of my bedroom smelling like my husband’s farting hot box, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my office smelling like the broccoli and tuna fish that someone reheated in the microwave, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover.
Instead of my nursery smelling like a baby who made poopy wall art for the first time, I’d like to smell like Method’s Fresh Clover.
Instead of the dining room smelling like week-old oatmeal that got stuck in the high chair, I’d like it to smell like French lavender.
Instead of my living room smelling like a dog that chose to roll through a rotten bouquet of trash, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of my bathroom smelling like missed potty training tries, I’d like it to smell like Beach Sage.
Instead of my entire house smelling like vomit for the second time this school year, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my living room smelling like my son’s sun baked puke, I’d like it to smell like Method’s fresh clover.
I don’t know. I felt like being more creative than using the format. I don’t think I’ll win anyway, so here’s my Haiku.
odoriferous dog
the putrid scent of sadness
french lavender, please.
(I love Method, btw! Good luck to everyone!)
Instead of my kitchen smelling like my lack of commitment, I’d like it to smell like French Lavender
Instead of my nine month old son’s cranial helmet smelling like the 13 year old version of him I’m not yet ready to meet, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine!
Instead of crowded metro/subway trains smelling like a melting pot of BO (body order) in the afternoon rush hour, I’d like it to smell like French Lavender.
Instead of my car smelling like I forgot to bring my breast pump inside on a 90* August day, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
*body odor
Instead of my entire house smelling like my husband forgot to empty the diaper genie before we left for summer vacation (he said he was going to do it!), I’d like to smell like Method’s Beach Sage.
Instead of my bedroom smelling like my husband spent the night before drinking beer, garnished with garlic, I’d like it to smell like lavender.
Instead of my furniture smelling like dirty dogs, I’d like it to smell like wild poppy.
Last one cause it’s fresh (as in just happened, not the smell):
Instead of my garage and entire house smelling like we lost power while were were away for the week and a freezer full of meat went bad, I’d like it to smell like Method’s Wild Poppy.
Instead of my office smelling like my co-worker’s curry lunch, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of my family room smelling like a huge doggie Dutch oven, I want it to smell like Sweet Tangarine.
Instead of my living room smelling like the occasional burst of stink bombs while following a video workout routine of jumping jacks, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of the playroom smelling like someone smooshed teething quality poop into the carpet, I want it to smell like Sweet Tangerine.
Instead of my family room smelling like something crawled up inside my dog and died, I’d like it to smell like Beach Sage.
Instead of my bathroom smelling like everyone used it blindfolded, I’d like it to smell like Beach Sage
Instead of my son’s room smelling like a NFL locker room, I would like it to smell like Fresh Clover!
Instead of my kitchen smelling like roasted cauliflower and litter box, I’d like it to smell like Sweet Tangerine.
Instead of my bedroom smelling like wet dog, I’d like it to smell like French Lavender.
Instead of my laundry room smelling like my kids’ morning breath after an Olive Garden dinner, I’d like it to smell like Fresh Clover.
Instead of my living room smelling like something rotten I can’t find, I’d like it to smell like Fresh clover.
Instead of my son’s room smelling like a heard of mountain goats, I would like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of my mother-in-law’s bedroom smelling like that pile of clothes the cat peed on, and she insists she’ll get around to washing or throwing away but never does, I’d like it to smell like French lavender.
Instead of my living room smelling like the dog that rolled in something dead and rotting, I’d like it to smell like Fresh Clover.
Instead of my kitchen smelling like the moldy potato I found at the bottom of the bin, I’d like it to smell like Sweet Tangerine.
Instead of my minivan smelling like the ghosts of petrified apples under the seats, I’d like it to smell like Fresh Clover.
Instead of my laundry room smelling like dirty clothes and despair, I’d like it to smell like lavender.
Instead of my car smelling like sweaty boy after Tae Kwon Do class, I’d like it to smell like Beach Sage.
Instead of the van smelling like three weeks worth of energy drink cans that hadn’t been rinsed and had been left in 90 degree heat, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of the nursery smelling like the incontinent bladder of the “house trained” dog I pet sat, I’d like to smell Sweet Tangerine.
Instead of my ENTIRE HOUSE (including my own closet?!) smelling like I have 3 boys, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of the porta-potty that my potty training daughter insists on going in when she says she has to poopy (but doesn’t!) smelling like that exact porta-potty, I would rather it smell like beach sage.
Instead of the bathroom smelling like the ghosts of poopies past, I’d like it to smell like Wild Poppy.
Instead of my bathroom smelling like a regretful night of too much tacos I’d like it to smell like French Lavender
Instead of my laundry room smelling like the load of towels I forgot in the washing machine 5 days ago I’d like it to smell like Fresh Clover
Instead of my kitchen smelling like burnt metal and sausage from leaving the burner on while toddler tantrum-ageddon happened, I want it to smell like Sweet Tangerine
Instead of the van smelling like my husband forgot to close the hatch and every stray cat in the neighborhood spent the night humping and fighting (and probably peeing) inside, I’d like it to smell like fresh clover.
Instead of my bathroom smelling like the porta potty at a state county fair, I’d like it to smell like Sweet Tangerine.
Instead of my laundry room smelling like a weeks’ worth of dirty scrubs, I’d like it to smell like Fresh Clover.
Instead of my laundry room smelling like a sweaty teenage boy after 2 hours of football practice in 100 degree heat, I’d like it to smell like Beach Sage.
Tweete via @cp3007
Instead of the office kitchen smelling like Lean Cuisines and regret, I’d like it to smell like sweet tangerine.
Instead of my mudroom smelling like rotten athlete’s foot, I’d like it to smell like Beach Sage.
Instead of the office kitchen smelling like burnt popcorn and regret, I’d like it to smell like wild poppy.
Instead of the nursery smelling like the incontinent bladder of the “house trained” dog I pet sat, I’d like it to smell like Sweet Tangerine.
Instead of my linen closet smelling like the tunafish sandwich that my daughter hid last week, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of my office smelling like the microwave popcorn my coworker burns EVERY SINGLE DAY, I’d like it to smell like beach sage.
Instead of my entryway smelling like the old dog just couldn’t wait one more moment till I got home and let her out, I’d like it to smell like Beach Sage.
Instead of the couch smelling like my dogs visit fish markets in their spare time, I’d like it to smell like Fresh Clover.
Instead of the garage smelling like a garbage can full of rotting meat, I’d like it to smell like Fresh Clover.
Instead of my son’s bedroom smelling like “The room where things go to die and rot”, I’d like it to smell like Beach Sage.
Instead of my family room smelling like a high school locker room from all of my teenagers, I’d like it to smell like beach sage!