This month, ENERGY STAR is helping my family become more energy efficient. We are switching out the light bulbs in the rooms we use the most to ENERGY STAR certified LED bulbs. Apparently, LEDs are a lot less expensive than the used to be, come in a variety of options and have much better quality of light than when you might have tried energy efficient lighting for the first time about ten years ago.
But my biggest learning is that LED bulbs with the ENERGY STAR label can last for 22 years.
22 years???
In 22 years, Mazzy will be 27 and Harlow will be 24. I won’t even mention how old I will be because that’s terrifying, but let’s just say, I hope one of my girls is around to switch the lightbulb for me, lest I slip on the ladder and break my hip.
What will Mazzy and Harlow be up to in 22 years? Will they be saving the planet? Building their media empire? Bleeding us dry with Pinterest-worthy weddings?
Not still watching Frozen, I hope!!!
Being in your twenties is an interesting time. For me, it was the decade between being a student and being a mom, when I really had to figure out who I was as a person. My friends didn’t influence me as much as they once did and my kids weren’t there to steal my identity. Yet.
There are so many things I wish someone had told me about how to take advantage of my twenties, so I’m going to use this opportunity to impart some lessons learned.
Here are 22 things I want my daughters to know in 22 years:
1. Do not spend all your time looking for the man of your dreams. This was my mistake. I would have enjoyed my twenties so much more if I appreciated being single and doing whatever I wanted to do, even if there was no potential to meet boys.
2. Travel. See the world as much as your budget allows. Once you have kids, you ain’t going nowhere.
3. Don’t obsess about your weight. You’ve probably got my sweet tooth and ability to pack on the pounds, but you know when I got my skinniest? When I stopped being so extreme about what I allowed myself to eat. Try eating a chocolate chip cookie without pretending it’s your last. Then you are less likely to eat the whole box.
4. Unless your passion is making money, don’t let money guide your career choice. When you have a family, you will hate every second of your job if it’s about nothing more than a paycheck. The easiest path to work life balance is having your time at work and your me time be one and the same.
5. Wear sunscreen!!!! Don’t wait until you’re thirty-five to realize you should have been taking care of your skin all along.
6. Don’t waste time being friends with people who aren’t nice people. They might have been the cool kids in college or the most fun people to party with, but you aren’t winning any sort of contest because someone who doesn’t like many people wants to be your friend. They will suck your positive energy, steal your boyfriend and create unnecessary drama that you should have outgrown by now.
7. If you are ever wondering if a guy you are dating really likes you, he doesn’t. Get rid of him.
8. Floss. (I’m told. I’m still trying to learn this one.)
9. Your body is your body. If you have to go to extremes to change it, it won’t last and it will just take you longer to learn to love it.
10. If you are ever feeling lonely, call your sister. She comes from the same place and understands you better than anyone. If you want a shoulder to cry on or a person to brag to, call your mom. She wants to hear all news— good and bad.
11. If you are trying to find romance based on Hollywood movies, notice almost all rom coms end when the two people get together. Real relationships are about the ups and downs that happen after that.
12. Don’t look for yourself in male form. Your father and I are totally different but work well together. If we were interested in all the same things, we would drive each other crazy. If we brought all the same skills to the table, half the shit adults need to do would never get done.
13. If you want to have children and a career, find a man who likes to cook.
14. If you ever get laid off, know that you can bounce back from it in a big way. That’s what your mom did.
15. Live somewhere different for at least a year. Growing up in NYC is kind of a curse because so many people migrate here. I like to think it’s where I would have ended up anyway, but truthfully, my one regret is that I never really left home.
16. Pick up a newspaper every once in awhile. Or read the Times on your iPad. Or visualize it on your iHolograph 2000. Whatever. Just be informed.
17. No one feels like a grown-up. We are all kids in adult bodies.
18. Everybody thinks they have no idea what they are doing when they first start a real job. Some are just better at hiding it.
19. Don’t live with someone before you are ready because it makes sense financially. It’s really hard to break-up when you are sharing a bathroom.
20. Your two or three closest friends are really the only friends that matter.
21. Don’t feel pressure to have kids if you don’t want them. Having kids is life-changing and hard. Take that decision seriously and don’t just do it because that’s what everyone expects. Even if your mother keeps pestering you.
22. Contrary to everything you previously thought, your mom is pretty cool.
Did I forget anything? Probably. Who’s got something to add they want their kids to know in 22 years? If so, you could win a $250 gift card from Home Depot, and a pack of five ENERGY STAR certified LED bulbs from Philips, which will save you about $400 in energy bills over their lifetime.
My only requirements for entry are as follows:
1) Share this post in some way (facebook, twitter, pinterest, snail mail, whatever)
2) Watch one of the ENERGY STAR videos at the bottom of this post
3) Leave your comment below about one thing you want your child to know in 22 years
You can see the full rules here.
I’ll be picking my favorite answer to take home the prize on October 13th when I show off “before and after” pictures of my brand new fixtures.
There are tons more LED lighting choices available than ever before, but remember you must make sure your bulb is ENERGY STAR certified to ensure the quality of the light matches the incandescent bulb you are replacing.
ENERGY STAR is a U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) program that has been helping businesses and individuals save money and protect our climate through superior energy efficiency for the past 20 years. An ENERGY STAR label means the light has undergone rigorous testing and only the highest quality bulbs with the most energy-saving benefits make the cut.
Consider this: If every household switched just one bulb to an ENERGY STAR certified bulb, we would save enough energy to light two million homes for a whole year, save $460 million in annual energy costs and prevent six billion pounds of greenhouse gas emissions, equivalent to that of 550,000 cars.
Now that’s something that could help your child’s future.
To learn more about ENERGY STAR certified LED bulbs, click here.
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This post was sponsored by Energy Star, but all thoughts and opinions are my own.
What I want my children to remember in their twenties (and they are there now), is time goes by so quickly so take full advantage of it. Come see us parents and grandparents often ( we won’t be here forever and always glad to see you), do things you really want to do not because your roped into them, don’t spend so much money on stuff that you have to get rid of later to simplify your life, save as much as you can for retirement starting now, and start saving for your kids’ college as soon as they are born. Take lots of pictures with your kids and view every moment with them as a treasure and not a chore (even if it is draining on you)–they will never be that age again and it will be a lost moment. Most importantly, bring and keep your spiritual background and faith in Jesus to the forefront of your life–it will guide you well in all you should do and how you should live.
In 22 years my daughter will be 24. Everything you listed is what I like for her to know. But one big thing I would like for her to know is that always be yourself. Don’t worry what others will think of you or second guess your choice. If you what to dye your hair blue or whatever it’s your choice. No one needs to tell you what you have to do. It’s your life/body and your path of life. You are in charge of what turns to make in your path. Basically be a leader not a follower.
Be kind. Everyone you meet struggles. The works would be a better place if we all just showed some compassion towards each other.
Take time for yourself and be comfortable being alone. Live life and see the beautiful things in everyday life. Don’t get caught up in the daily grind.
People (probably) won’t remember what you say but they will remember how you made them feel. Be kind to the world and it will pay you pack ten fold (even if it doesn’t always feel like it)
Value privacy, avoid gossips, and being a gossip. If someone has wronged you, approach them privately. Never air your dirty laundry on whatever the social media of the day there is then. Say 3 good things to balance out every complaint.
Never let anyone dip into your bucket or dull your sparkle. We all make mistakes and it’s part of this thing called life 🙂
Save $. Money is tight in your early 20s but even if it’s $5 a week, save. Practice makes perfect even with saving.
If you are not willing to say it to their face don’t say it to someone else. 🙂
For my baby girl… You can do everything you want, you just need to take off all the doubts and give the first step ( this is the hardest, but after this everything goes well)
22yrs from now my girls will be 28 and 24. If there’s something I want them to know it’s that: You are beautiful, smart and very loved. Don’t go looking to the world for validation. If you ever need reminding– call mom! 🙂
You can do anything! Don’t let yourself be limited by social norms.
I took that for granted until I realized that my inlaws didn’t give that attitude to their kids.
Always speak your opinion. Be polite and never try to intentionally hurt someone’s feelings, but always speak your mind. It’s ok to have an opinion that’s different from someone elses. Never be afraid of anyone, your voice matters.
1 – while at university, study a semester abroad (even if that means you might graduate a few months or year later than planned). The experience will be priceless.
2 – once you graduate and start working fulltime, take advantage of your vacation days and see the world. Once you become too settled with work/boyfriend/girlfriend/children, it will be hard to find the time And money!
3 – don’t wait for the perfect time in your career to start a family. There really is no perfect time!
Travel. Travel. Travel.
Trust the timing of your life. – If an opportunity comes to you, try as hard as you can to take advantage of it. And if your life seems to derail, know that there is probably a reason for it.
(I didn’t plan on getting married during vet school, resulting in changing my plans from going for board certification for surgery to general practice so my husband could focus on his career after I graduated. Even more so, I didn’t plan on becoming pregnant 2 months after I graduated and was barely starting the career I worked – and paid! – so much for. But my son has been the greatest blessing and, although my life is not what I had imagined it would be 10 years after I graduated college, I could not imagine how it could be any better.)
Since I have all boys, my comment to add is learn to cook and clean for yourself. Even if you marry a woman who wants to be a stay-at-home-mom, there well be times where she is sick or in the hospital after having a baby and you will have to be able to cook so you and your children can eat.
Also, if your wife is a SAHM, never, ever, ever come home and ask what she did all day or insinuate that she does nothing while you bust your rear. She does so much more than you can imagine.
Always follow your dreams no matter what anyone else says!
I think I’d add that having a dog is a huge pain in the bee-hind, you will be the one responsible for it no matter what your children say, and also very expensive even if the dog is healthy.
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Laugh as much as possible, take the time to enjoy the little things, and live in the moment as much as you can. Most of the things you’ll stress over, you’ll soon forget.
Confidence is your best accessory. If you aren’t confident in something, put in the work learn more about it. Knowledge is power.
Learn to replace negatives with positives. Upset about traffic, turn on your favorite song and sing. Upset about a bad friend, send one of your good friends a loving message.
Never lose your child-like enthusiasm for life. Don’t stop yourself from jumping in puddles, stopping in a candy-store for sweets, or re-watching your favorite Disney movie. Be excited about the little things in life, not just the big.
Don’t ever do anything just because you don’t want to upset anyone. Follow your heart and worry about yourself before worrying about what I think. I made many mistakes because I didn’t want to hurt other people when I was only hurting myself in the process. I don’t ever want my daughter to feel that way.
Do not follow crowds, be yourself and be responsable for your decisions. Whoever really loves you, will love you the way you are. I do.
That it’s okay to make mistakes – it’s how we learn, rather than just being told. Plus, the lessons stick much much better that way, lol.
Bad things happen for a reason. It will suck and you may not know why it happened for decades, but there is a reason. You have an aunt I never got to meet. If she had survived you wouldn’t have your Aunt Julia & Uncle Mike. Mema and Pop Pops loss prepared them to help me when You older brother did not survive. There is a reason for everything. Don’t hem and haw and play the “what if” game, move forward and take what you learned with you.
Don’t worry; no one can fold a fitted sheet.
So true. 🙂
My son will be 27. Something I keep trying to tell him now (that I hope he understands then) is to stop trying to impress others. It doesn’t matter what they think it is what YOU think that counts.
I would want my kids to know at ages 24 and 26…
1. You are loved no matter what. Appreciate your family and use your support system when you need because it is there for you.
2. Include your mom in your wedding planning 🙂
3. Travel as much as you can and enjoy the world before settling down. Don’t feel pressured to settle down just because all your friends are doing it.
4. Surround yourself with people that inspire you and help you be the best person you can be.
5. Try to make good choices but don’t worry about mistakes. Learn from them and move on. Don’t worry too much.
6. Be kind to others and always make an effort to maintain your friendships and relationships.
7. Taking care of kids is tough. Make sure you are aware of all that it entails before you decide you’re ready.
8. Save as much money as you can and don’t spend it all on material things.
9. Make sure you can get along with your mother in law before you marry your fiance (that was my mistake!)
10. Probably much more but that’s all i can think of for now. Call your parents every once in a while and keep them updated with what’s going on in your life. Communication is important!
Live every day like its your last. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, as mistakes build character.
To my two daughters and my son:
Leave a legacy of helping humanity. Having money may make you happy for a moment, but helping another soul find comfort or happiness leaves a bigger mark on your life AND theirs than you could possibly imagine.
Learn to keep I touch well. Your best friends are the ones walking by your side 5000 miles away or right next door. Friendship is just as important and just as much work as a romantic relationships.
Never stop trying new things. If you can’t find any new foods, languages, books, or hobbies to try then you’re either in a coma or not trying hard enough.
Remember you are never too old to know that mom and dad have your back (14&16). 2)As be the better person and this includes when you are dealing with teachers and coaches in your life. Don’t lose your temper, take the higher road and come talk to is. We will help you figure this out. Sometimes adults act like children and you need to re group and try again the next day. Just because you are getting older doesn’t me we aren’t here for you. We want you to be the adult we are just here to help gently guide you in that direction.
When applying for a job, always bring an extra pair of pantyhose in your purse. Be prepared to change them in the car because if you are anything like me, you will snag the ones you are wearing on the way to the interview. Use the same logic for anything that is important that you wear pantyhose to.
I want my son and daughter to know that they will never be too old for me to still be mom. Ill come to the rescue no matter what. At 25, I struggle with where my relationship stands with my mom. Can I still talk to her or ask for help on a rough week? I feel embarrassed but she never fails to help and continue to be the same mom she was 15 years ago. Thick or thin, young or old, I will always be mom!
Too funny but yet great advise. Thanks!
I really like the one about basing a career on passion. And the travel one. And the ones about accepting your body. Actually these are all great!
The one that I would add – sometimes you have to work at being happy. Doing what is easy is not always the same as what will make you happy.
OMG in 22 years my son would be 30, my daughter would be 28 and the younger daughter would be 24 …. I can’t imagine them so old lol. I just want to add only one thing that is to listen to your heart yeah obedience is a good thing but don’t be a puppet of older people …. They tell you do this don’t do this … Yeah I know they want you to be safe and they don’t want you to do the same mistakes they did but I wanted to live this life too in my own way
Travel! YES YES YES. This is one thing I missed out on, but thankfully next year I can finally start travelling. It just got pushed back a few years due to unexpected babies : )
Sadly, in 22 years. only one of my babies will still be in their 20’s (man, I’m getting old!) In fact, in 22 years, my daughter will be almost the age I am now . . . so what do I wish she’d know earlier than I’ve figured it out? I would say that you NEVER have to be completely defined, done, finished. You can always change, evolve into someone new. We’re expected at 18 to know what direction we want our life to go in, and at 22 to have completed an education/training that puts us on that path–and if we changed our minds more than once in those years, we were so immature, such flakes! NO MORE. As long as you don’t continue to put off life by being repeatedly trained in something new, you can change your mind as often as you want. In fact, you know what? Forget that too. If you’re doing enough to take care of yourself (i.e. paying your bills, feeding yourself and anyone else who has come into your responsibility, etc.) then who cares how often you start over? You are not a static character–you are the most dynamic ever, so prove it!
What a great post-I shared it on my Facebook wall-
My advice would be this quote
“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”
― Maya Angelou
You will have to work twice as hard to get half as far, but you will always be twice as good and that’s worth its weight in gold to the right boss.
It is absolutely ok to fail sometimes, because it means you tried. And sometimes it is absolutely ok to quit. You will never be the best at anything if you don’t try, and if you find that you aren’t the best at something afterall, you don’t have to keep doing it. You just trying and doing until you find what works for you.
The fear is often bigger than the wolf.
As you become an adult will see people- strong, intelligent, driven, respectable people- make major life decisions—career, marriage, if/when to have a baby— based heavily on fear, mainly of the unknown, or fear of doing something outside the box and outside of their plans. Do not be that person. These people may unknowingly make you second guess your own decisions, when you decide to be brave. Do not second guess. The fear is bigger than the wolf. Test your strength and rely on your faith. Dreaming big is torture if you do not allow yourself to act big.
I would add to the list to speak your truth and always remember before you say something…is it true? is it kind? Is it necessary?
Laugh as often as possible and encourage laughter in others but never at the expense of another person.
What a great list for any parent! If I were to add anything, I would say remember to slow down once in a while and appreciate the small things. Enjoy a cup of tea, smell a flower, take a walk… life moves so fast, so slow it down sometimes.
It is more than ok to say no sometimes. It is also OK to give in on occasion. Choosing your battles does not mean you are selling out or being a door mat. It just means you know when you need to stand up and when it’s OK to sit out a round.
it’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice
If everyone is saying one thing, and your head/heart/gut are saying something different, listen to yourself, not other people. Ultimately you are the only one who has to live with your decisions. Make sure they are actually YOUR decisions.
In 22 years my guy will be 24, almost 25.
My advice to him is that it’s okay if he’s not totally grown up at 25. A lot of us aren’t.
It’s okay if you’re still finding out who you want to be at 35. As long as you’re kind.
Be your own advocate. No one will do it for you when it comes to your job. Know your limits and strive to be comfortable with your salary in relationship to the job that you are doing and the one you hope to do in the future. I had no idea a low starting salary to just gain experience in my field would pave my path until I had to start validating the job I loved against the cost of full time daycare.
Your actions DO have consequences, so think before you act. There will always be someone or something to remind you of your mistakes.
I want my daughter to know, in no particular order (sorry about the long list) :
“1. Don’t let your life & decisions revolve around money – it will not bring you happiness.
2. Have a big heart for those who deserve it. Be humble but strong & independent when needed.
3 .Don’t let people take advantage of you. You do not need to take crap from anyone.
4. Rely on your family. Vent out your feelings – do NOT bottle them up.
5. Carry yourself with Grace. No one can take that away from you.
6. Don’t be quick to judge.
7. Fight for what you think is right.
8. Be disciplined but, don’t forget to live.
9. Travel, see the world.
10. Read a lot. Be creative.
11. There is just one you. Just one beautiful you. Never forget that.
12. Always know that you are loved & cherished by many.
13. Don’t cry over things that don’t go according to your plan. Maybe God has something else planned for you. Get up, dust off & start living again. Never loose sight of your goals.
14. You are important. What you want is important.
15. Life is a struggle sometimes. Don’t get disheartened. Things will fall into place.
16. Crying does not make you weak.
17. Be there for your friends to lean on.
18. Try to be a better person everyday. Try to make a difference by doing good.
19. Don’t be insecure about your flaws. No one is perfect. Avoid people who point them out.
20. Try not to have regrets.
21. Know that your mom loves you with all her heart and always wishes you the best, even if she isn’t with you.
22. Be positive & most importantly – Be yourself. “
I want you to always be kind to others. Realize that everyone has challenges you may not know about and your kindness might make a difference to them.
That you should only go to grad school if you really know what you want to do, not because you need to “find yourself.” I actually got a lot out of grad school, but plenty of students find themselves thousands of dollars in debt with not much to show for it!
Learn to walk in high heels. There’s nothing more confident looking than a young woman who can rock stilettos in a board meeting. Likewise, there’s nothing more humbling than a face plant.
If you meet a man you really like but find you have NO interests in common….try out one of his hobbies, you might love it! I did!
I will always remind my son that : You are good enough and always have been.
Someone somewhere is going to make him feel he is not good enough……
My son is two now, so in 22 years I want my son to know that it’s okay to be upset at times, as long as you express your feelings and then begin to do what you can to change why you’re upset (instead of complaining about life but never trying to change anything).
Get to know yourself and try everything: food, experiences, friendships, and heartbreak. These will help you figure out who you were meant to be. Have no regrets about your life (unless you commit a major felony… Maybe regret that.) Your twenties are the only time you can really live life on your own, so don’t waste them doing what everyone else wants you to do.
This looks awesome! Glad to hear it was good with beef too, as that is what I am more likely to have on hand.
I found this recipe via pinterest and wanted to take the time to comment on this wonderful dish. Very easy to make, delicious flavours and easy to follow directions. I added 2 tbsp of sriracha sauce and found the spice level good for hubby and I, but a bit zippy for the kiddo’s (which can be easily fixed with less spice). Thanks so much for sharing your recipe.