This post was written by my friend Lindsey, a stay-at-home mom who picks fights with other moms in her head. And never loses.
You know when your kids are running around, getting fresh air, and all is going smoothly? Everyone is getting along, going up and down the slide, laughing with each other and playing without a care in the world. Other kids join in. They’re laughing too. You look up from your phone and smile— you are really nailing this parenting thing today! Then some other kids’ mom comes up and says, “no no. The slide is for going down. The stairs are for going up.” Ummmmm wait. What.
I have no interest whatsoever in intervening and setting up rules at the playground for how the equipment gets used. Use it however you please, just move your little bodies! And don’t fight! I’m sure the mother is coming from a good place around safety, but just because this isn’t the traditional use of the equipment doesn’t mean it is inherently unsafe!
A New York Times article discussed how our playgrounds are too safe and its stunting the emotional development of our children. Playgrounds with tall climbing structures and slides allow a child to gradually build confidence against risks and overcome fears. When they are sheltered from these risks, they are not given the chance to overcome their anxieties that can grow into bigger fears later in life. Plus, safer playgrounds are not challenging and the children are not as engaged. We should be encouraging them to climb the slide!
And what’s the worst that can happen if the child did get hurt climbing the slide? As Alfred says to batman, “Why do we fall Master Wayne? So we can learn to pick ourselves up.”
Climbing the slide is more than just a physical feat. There’s a whole imaginary game that goes along with climbing the slide. By intervening in their play at the playground, we limit their imagination. They’re climbing a mountain! They’re running on a treadmill at an incline! They’re…. I don’t know, I’m not the one with the childhood imagination. Adulthood killed my imagination… It’s not my place to kill theirs.
We need to give our children more free play, less rules and guidelines. Allow them to reinvent an object’s use and purpose. Creativity is the key to progress. When we raise our kids inside adult constructed boxes with adult imposed limits and adult scripted play, we take away the challenge of them overcoming their obstacles. We don’t allow them the opportunity to problem solve and trouble shoot. A child learns when their curiosity is engaged.
It also allows them to learn how to resolve their own conflicts when we don’t get involved. If this mom wasn’t motivated by safety, perhaps she was doing it out of consideration. Its not fair when one child hogs the slide and no one else gets a turn. I like to stand back and give the kiddies a chance to find a solution on their own, partly because I don’t feel like getting up if I don’t have to… But also because sometimes these kids can come up with some pretty awesome solutions all on their own! And they gain confidence and learn empathy when this happens. When I can see they can’t resolve it themselves, I will go and help them solve the problem, but it doesn’t require a blanket rule ending the game entirely. Climbing the slide has, at times, turned into a game where all the kids on the playground participate.
(When babies and small toddlers are present of course I make an exception. But the rule is to be considerate. And I supervise more diligently)
A key to a strong relationship, any relationship, is to limit the number of battles you choose to engage in. This allows you to have a more enjoyable time together. That goes for parenting as well. Unfortunately, children will push every boundary they can – mine do at least. So if I can limit the number of battles I engage in by even just one, like “don’t climb the slide” let’s say, we will have a more pleasant day, my children will have more fun, and their little brains will have had an opportunity to grow and learn a new skill.
You can follow Lindsey at @daysofourshittylives on Instagram.
Want more? Follow Mommy Shorts on Facebook and @mommyshorts on Instagram. You can also see my life in real time on by following ilanawiles on Snapchat!
The situation is similar to “Let’s have your child figure out a solution when he/she gets bully”.
Do you step in or let your child figure it out?
Oh for goodness sake! It’s a SLIDE….you can’t slide up can you. Let it go.
The fact that you write “look up from my phone ” proves you’re a shitty parent.
Honestly, I think this mom is kind of inconsiderate. First of all, it’s a slide. It’s to go down. And I spent a lot of time when my daughter was too little to safely climb slides telling her, “We go UP the stairs and DOWN the slide.” When other kids are going up the slide it makes that a more difficult message to send. It also makes it more difficult when, as a teacher, I have to tell them to stop climbing the slide because having them break their heads on my watch is a very different story from when they break it outside school hours. I don’t want to have the “But Mom lets me!” conversation. It’s not fun.
I completely disagree with this post. I am that mom that will correct other kids on the playground, if they are making unsafe choices around other people’s kids. Too many years in the childcare industry.
It is fine and dandy that you and your kids are willing to accept the risks associated with going up the slide but it isn’t cool to force those risks on others. So if you are the only one at the playground have at it, otherwise I might ask your kid to stop.
I’ve read the article about how our playgrounds are too safe and I think adding challenging equipment would be great. I don’t agree that a lack of challenging equipment should take away another child’s right to play on the playground as it was intended.
I always let my children climb up the slide, my daughter loves it! It’s pretty much one of the only things she does at a play ground, climb up and go down the slide! But when other children are trying to go down the slide then that’s when it’s time to start using the stairs to go back up. If my kid is going down the slide and another kid is climbing up I don’t urge them to get down, it’s not my place. I just sit and watch them get knocked down. I guess they have to learn someway?
A lot of parents don’t take the time to watch or play with their children at the park anymore everyone is on a tablet or their phones they don’t even pay attention to what their kid is actually doing!
This is exactly why there are a bunch of ahole kids out there who are growing up to be ahole adults who think the world revolves around them. Don’t stifle my kids creativity! Who cares if there is a line full of kids waiting their turn to go down the slide, MY kids creativity is way more important! Guess what, your kid is learning to be a bully ahole from you! I agree that kids need to play freely, BUT they also need to learn respect for other people and they learn that from their parents. Be creative, but your creativity is not more important than other people.
I will not allow my child to climb up the slide when others are playing on it.
1. Because a slide is generally for sliding down
2. My child is one of those kids who would continue to go down the slide, even if your child was there and kick them in the face- then you would make that my problem, even though your child is the one disrupting the flow. This is just irritating.
3. I don’t want my child to be booted in the face by another child.
4. Sharing is caring. Unless the slide is theirs, wait your turn and don’t disrupt other kids fun!
Really? There’s a huge difference between willingly putting another child in danger and letting kids play.
Any of you Moms want to explain to the little boy I saw today that got his face smashed in by a slide climber.
Funny, how the father was also on his cellphone not paying attention but that’s besides the point. I’m getting sidetracked.
What I witnessed was a screech and a little boy crying. A little girl run from the slide straight to her father.
“Daddy, I bumped my head!”
“You’re okay,” not even looking up from his phone. “go play.”
A little boy climbs out of the slide holding his left cheek, tears streaming, unaware of where he was supposed to go or what to do.
I went to him and found an already large, purple goose-egg just under his eye.
What happened?
He was playing with his brother, climbing up the levels (not stairs), running through tubes having a blasts. I saw him laughing, playing having the same amount of fun if not more than the other children.
There was a little blonde girl that ran in and the first thing she did was head straight for that slide and climb up it.
That little boy collided with her, taking her feet out from under her and she fell head first, slamming into his tiny face.
How would you like to explain to that little boy that girl had every right climbing up the slide as he did going down?
There are rules for a reason and those rules, warnings or precautions are there because there needs to be rules to learn.
Kids do need to learn rules as well as other things. Your job as a parent is to teach your children right from wrong, respect, empathy and that you will protect them, you’re always there for them.
That doesn’t mean you hover. That means you’re attentive and available. There are always situations that children need to learn to problem solve, communicate and sometimes you just need to sit back and let things play out for them to learn BUT you don’t allow your child become a victum because others assume they’re above the rules.
PS. Put your cellphones down. Your children are only small for a short time. You don’t want to miss your child slay a fire breathing dragon or swing across the monkey bars by themself with no help.
[…] when obviously it’s actually the gateway to becoming a criminal and you’re like— I WROTE THAT POST. And then you never play together […]
It is all fine and good until it is someone else’s kid that gets hurt. There is a playground that is 3 levels high. It is also covered. A kid was going up the slide. My son who was coming down couldn’t see him. He got a bloody nose hitting the kid’s head coming down because you go so fast. He refuses to get on that slide anymore. Guess what…he learned the “risk” wasn’t worth it. Not what you had in mind when you were talking about learning risks? So, if I see a kid going up the slide like that again, I will tell them not to.
Smaller slide, maybe not, but it doesn’t mean it is right. I have seen countless time where 1 kid is hogging the slide and making it impossible for other kids to go. They are usually way bigger and the smaller kids are intimidated. Not cool man. It’s called this isn’t a park for one, have a little common courtesy.
Ugh, no one likes that kid…I know I didn’t. Even at a young age I knew that kid was never going to be my friend. That kid didn’t understand the rules and didn’t care about other kids. That kid did what they wanted and would only get worse as they grew older. To each their own I guess, but a slide is called a “slide”, it isn’t called a “climb up…” It has a ladder for a reason…
Here is my issue with up the slide. My child was 5, just turned 5 and going down the twisty slide. She was tall enough to be on the slide. She stood in line and waited her turn. She sat down and started to go down, unable to see the bottom. Then ‘that kid’, the side climber was there. In my child’s efforts to stop and not kick him in the face, her leg got caught between her, him and the slide, fracturing her leg. My 5 year old spent the summer in a leg cast and ‘that kid’ got off scott free. So it’s not all about the slide climbers safety- it’s the sliders too. If you are alone on the playground, or it’s in your back yard- whatever but if it’s a busy afternoon. Please tell you little climber that today is not the day.
I am ALL for conflict resolution. I am not all for kids using playground equipment grossly inappropriately. I don’t know about your parks but our parks have rules. Posted ones. They say to use the equipment as it was intended. Slides are intended to, well, for sliding. Not climbing. There is a rock wall, rope ladder and spiral ladder for that. So, I have every right to expect your kid to follow the rules that the county/city put in place. That rule was set for a reason. Oh and if my kid bust his face on your kids climbing knee, be prepared to hear about it- can cover any medical damages.
If you let your kid go up the slide don’t get mad when my kid wipes them out, her foot in their face, crying because they were going the wrong way.
As a mom of two active boys and a camp nurse I can tell you first hand about what’s wrong with going up the slide. I have been the unfortunate bearer of bad news to have to call a mom or dad to let them know that their kiddo is on the way to the hospital with a broken nose. This isn’t just a fluke, a body in motion going down is just no match for a face going up.
No one wants to curtail kid’s creativity, fun or sense of accomplishment, but sometimes rules are just rules and in place to keep themselves and others safe.
This is an old article but it’s still being shared so I’ll comment. I made it about 1/2 way through the comments before I gave up. I think from reading this it’s a lot more evident why some kids grow up to be bullies while their parents still believe they are little angels. The slide thing is just one of many examples of parents who don’t think social etiquette applies to their kids. You can remove the slide from the equation & apply it to many scenarios. The “let my darling be creative” stuff annoys me to no end. I have a 12 year old and to this day no other parent has had to step in and tell my kid to behave because I have taught him to be respectful and yet he still has a great imagination. So when I see mothers saying “you tell my kid to stop and you’ll have me to answer to!” I eye roll and imagine it probably happens to them frequently.
Those kind of people who’d relish an awful confrontation in front of their kids and walk away from it thinking they were right & everyone else sucks. Yeah…I see your child doing the same thing in middle school to other kids.
You don’t have to helicopter parent but you don’t have to let your precious one do whatever they want in order to “let them be creative” if you want to let them express themselves and not feel stifled, feel free to let them loose with a box of crayons on your walls and furniture in your own home – if you’re that “creative” but when in public. Please don’t raise monsters. Those monsters have to go out into the real world one day.
This!!! Exactly!!
I love what you said about not wanting to kill their imagination.
There is plenty of time for kids to grow up. Right now they need to move and use that imagination.
There is so much good that can come from climbing that slide. Including building muscles and coordination. I let mine climb the slide all the time, with a few exceptions. Obviously, if someone wants to go down the slide, they are not to climb up it at that time. And I usually say no to climbing up tunnel slides, unless we are the only ones at the park.
I dont know… Sure if they are the only ones there or there are lots of slides. But this gets iffy when you have little or anxious kids up against someone’s preteens who won’t leave the slide. Or a big kid at the top who will brain little Suzy right in the face. You don’t have to be the park police but this sounds more like “I don’t feel like telling my kid what to do today because I’m at the park and can finally ignore them”
[…] You know when your kids are running around, getting fresh air, and all is going smoothly? Everyone is getting along, going up and down the slide, laughing with each other and playing without a care in the world. Other kids join in. They’re laughing too. You look up from your phone and smile— you are really nailing this parenting thing today! Then some other kids’ mom comes up and says, “no no. The slide is for going down. The stairs are for going up.” Ummmmm wait. What. Full blog […]
I absolutely let my kids go up the slides… if no one else is there and there’s no queue etc… i do teach them that otherwise, if someone wants to gets down they have to use the stairs… I also look at my phone from time to time when there isn’t any danger around ! All that doesn’t make me a “ahole” parent and my kid is not growing up being a “ahole” child because of it !!! As some of you said !! My children are considerate and kind, they are no angels ! But will be happy to help and care for someone in need or else… so just chill out…