I admit it. I’m a wimp when it comes to doling out punishments. I don’t want to take away the big moments, like the sleepovers or the the birthday parties, and I don’t want to threaten anything that might ruin my day too.
I tend to stick to small livable punishments like “no dessert” or taking away Mazzy’s American Girl Doll for a night, which they seem to be pretty devastated by… But then sometimes I think, maybe if I actually hauled them out of a restaurant in the middle of the meal one time, they’d be a lot better behaved in restaurants now?
Last week, I asked people on the Mommy Shorts facebook page to tell me the harshest parenting ultimatum they ever followed through on. Or… the biggest threat they remember their parents following through on when they were kids. I wanted to hear the stuff family legends are made of.
You guys didn’t disappoint.
21 Legendary Punishments that Kids Couldn’t Forget If They Tried
1) The Not-So-Great Adventure
“My dad actually turned the car around on the way to Great Adventure when we were kids. This, after we drove from LI to NJ and could almost see the roller coasters. Lesson learned!” – Diane
2) No More Bouncy Ball For You
“The kids were fighting over a bouncy ball in the car on the way home from school. I warned them that if they didn’t figure out a way to share it, then neither of them would get it. When my four year-old exclaimed once again that the ball was HIS and he would NOT be sharing it, I pulled the car over, walked back to his door, peeled the ball out of his hand and threw it as hard as I could into a nearby yard. I got back into the car without a word and kept driving. Felt amazing.” – Saushan
3) The Opposite of Screen Time
“I was taking the kids to the park and they started fighting. After I told them to “knock it off” three times, I said if they didn’t knock it off, I would turn the car around, go home and then sit and stare at a blank TV for two hours. My oldest punched his sister. I turned the car around, we went home, and we stared at that blank TV screen for two hours. Just like I said we would.” –Scarlett
4) Someone else will appreciate these toys
“I took all (and I mean ALL) my daughters’ toys and donated them to Goodwill. I had always just bagged them up, but they knew the bags would just go in my room and they would eventually get everything back. Nope. Not this time. They learned to keep toys off the floor after that.” – Angela
5) The abandoned bus stop
“I used to tell my kids that the people waiting for the bus on the side of the road were left there by their parents because they couldn’t behave in the car. They never tested me after that!” – Elizabeth
6) The Long Walk Home
“I put my sons (ages 4 and 6) out of the car and made them walk behind the minivan (on the sidewalk) until we got home (about a quarter of a mile) because they would not stop acting like wild animals in the car (arguing, screaming, etc). It never happened again. I could just pull over and they’d stop immediately.” – Patti
7) The Empty Room
“My kids refused to clean the play room, so I took everything out while they were sleeping. When they woke up, they had an empty room with empty shelves. But it totally backfired. They thanked me for cleaning and then played in the empty room with their blankies. It was about 6 months before they even asked about the stuff I had taken away!” – Allison
8) The Butt Naked Runaway
“I once told my mom, in the midst of a giant fight, that I was going to run away. She told me that was fine, but if I wanted to leave I had to leave her world exactly the same way I came in….butt naked. When she demanded I take off my clothes and go outside….I sluggishly made my way right back to my room…fully clothed.” – Sarah
9) The Canceled Birthday Party
“We canceled my son’s birthday one year when he was caught stealing from school. He got some clothes we had already bought but that’s it. No party and no toys.” – Lisa
10) Worse than the Canceled Birthday Party
“Instead of canceling my party, my mom moved it outside our house and I was not invited. I got to sit inside by the glass door, watching my friends play and eat my cake. All the presents went back to my friends too.” – Valerie
11) Family Cottage Denial
“My kids had been invited to spend the night at the family cottage with one of my aunts and some cousins. I had packed everything up in the car to take them and we were on our way out the door when they started behaving badly. I warned them repeatedly to stop back talking but they did not. The last warning had included the threat of “if you don’t stop, you are not going” and I had to follow through. It was meltdown city but at 7 and 5 years old they were definitely able to grasp the concept of consequences. Needless to say, they were much better behaved after that and were able to go the next day with much corrected attitudes.” – Carinn
12) Scrapping the Sleepover
“Just last night, I cancelled my 8 year-old’s birthday sleepover. I felt bad, especially because I knew her friends would be disappointed and I knew I was possibly changing their parents plans for the evening. But I had given my daughter several warnings that if she didn’t stop being sassy and rude, I would cancel it. I finally stopped giving the warnings and just sent out the message to the other parents.” – Anne
13) Disney World Denial
“My daughter was kicking the back of my chair really hard on the way to Disney World. I told her 100X to stop. Even took her shoes. I told her if she kicked my chair one more time, we were turning the car around. My husband looked at me like, “Why did you say that???” because he thought I would never follow through. She gave me one last grand kick and we turned the car around. We had even made it to the parking lot and were meeting friends there. I texted them that we weren’t going in. I get mad just thinking about it.” – Caroline
14) Dishes for a Year
“I got in some trouble in High School and my mom, who didn’t believe in grounding, made me do dishes every night for a year. I could still do anything I wanted, as long as I was home every night to do the dishes.” – Justine
15) Wearing Pajamas to School
“I was tired of having to yell at my daughter to get ready for school. One day, after several warnings, I made her go downstairs (a bit early, but she didn’t realize it), put on her shoes and jacket while she was still in her pajamas. She was so upset, begging to be allowed to go back upstairs to get dressed. I gave her a “final chance” (since it was still technically earlier than she had to leave) and she ran up and got dressed in record time. I haven’t had to yell at her over it since.” – Melissa
16) No blue eye shadow for you!
“When I was in high school, my mom took away all my makeup for one month. Every last mascara, tacky eye shadow, lip gloss, EVERYTHING. For a 15 year old girl, it was pretty devastating.” – Amy
17) UNICORN DREAMS DASHED
“During a hitting phase at age 3, I made a rule that if my daughter hit anyone, we would leave immediately. We went to a birthday party where she and another child had a disagreement, and my daughter hit her. So, we left. As we were leaving, the ponies dressed as Unicorns showed up. Yes, we still left, but those horsicorns upped the consequence to a crazy and unexpected level. (And yes, the birthday party was at a mansion and over the top. I mean UNICORNS!). I just kept telling myself to stay strong. She no longer hits.” – Carrie
18) No Christmas
My mom told me one year, if I didn’t clean my room I couldn’t have a Christmas. And I didn’t. I couldn’t go to Christmas Eve Service at church and I was allowed to open my presents on Christmas morning but I couldn’t take them out of the box or play with them. When the present opening was over, I had to go up to my room until it was clean. I just lay on my bed crying because I could hear my brother running around downstairs playing with all his new toys. By the time my mom brought up my breakfast, my room was clean.” – Nelly
19) Sesame Sorrow
“I was taking the kids to Sesame Place with two friends and their kids. My 5 year-old was behaving badly and I threatened to leave him behind. He actually called my bluff and said, ‘You will still take me, you always do.’ It broke my heart on the inside, but I dropped him off at daycare and went with my 3 year-old.” – Erin
20) Barbie Suicide
“My mom told my sisters that if they didn’t put their Barbie stuff away, she was throwing it all out the window. I clearly remember being 5 years-old and watching her chuck it ALL out the 2nd floor window of our house. My sisters were outside playing and heard all their stuff crashing down.” – Susan
21) The Biggest Lesson of All
“We were in the parking lot of Schlitterbahun (a giant waterpark 2+ hour from hom on the hottest day in Texas) when I smarted off that *one* last time and my parents turned around the car and drove right back home! I don’t know what was worse, being upset that we weren’t going or my mom’s disappointment/wrath because SHE really wanted to go! I knew my mom meant business after that. And, it was a really good lesson for me now that I’m a parent too. Sometimes it’s gotta hurt you too!” – Alyssa
What big parenting ultimatum have you followed through on?
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This is secondhand but I was told of a mom who threw an XBox out of a second story window when her kids wouldn’t stop playing when they were told. And I locked my 8yo on the front porch one morning for about 10 minutes before it was time for him to leave for school because he wouldn’t stop screeching.
That was a good idea and you should spank your children bare bottom so it hurts worse than leaving them outside all day
Dude, no.
It does work. My parents gave me a spank at a young age and it has worked. People see this as abuse but it really is just is a form of discipline.
When my older kid was 6 she (not maliciously; but purposefully as was no accident) damaged my friends’ property. I sent her to her room, then brought up a picture she was SO proud of as had made with her favourite babysitter. And ordered her to rip it up. She started bawling and I said “How you feel right now in this moment? That is how other people feel when you destroy their things. Just because it is meaningless to you doesn’t mean it has no value to them! So the next time you want to damage something? Destroy your own damn things and leave other people’s alone!!”. Yes, I let her keep her picture intact. But now 12, she can remember that moment as clear as a bell and if you know the memory of a 12 year old, that is a pretty good feat 😉
Also – I never backtrack on a threat. My husband doesn’t either. We don’t tend to overuse them because once we say something, we mean it. And due to consistency, my kids know this. If we say will we haul them out – we will. Once my daughter and her friend were bugging my husband, and he said if they put the toy on his head he would throw it out, the friend said “Aw, he’s just saying it. They never do!” my daughter said “No – he will. Trust me, if he says it, he means it”.
Harsh? I don’t think so. I think it is doing kids a disservice to not hold them to be accountable for their own actions and to not understand logical consequences nor that a parent will follow through; as at some point they will be in circumstances where they will be held accountable by other adults for their actions and will have consequences to deal with that will be followed through. Especially when I think ahead to the teen years, I am sure my kids will push limits and will get into typical teen mischief … just as I am equally confident they will never drink and drive, as we are drilling into them now that doing that is a HUGE unforgivable no, and if they ever did we would merit out HUGE punishments and we have been teaching them their whole lives that we mean what we say and will follow through. All of which I do think will resonate even in the face of teenage rebellion, bad decisions, and peer pressure – that there will be some limits they will just know are not to be messed with such as the aforementioned drinking then driving.
I love you for being a strong parent, I wish more people were like you. You don’t have to beat your kids to make them behave, but you do have to follow through with things… I can count on one hand the times my mom hit me (no marks left) but I knew if I acted like a fool, I would be punished… I don’t have any kids, but I am pretty sure I’m n known as the “mean” aunt cuz I don’t let them get away with crap at my house…
Exactly what I think about children gettng away with shit.
your mean and al lof you are teaching pparents to do thhat so then kids are sad im blocking this site instantly
The worse thing my Dad did when we were younger that I distinctly remember is following through on spankings – with the belt – when we didn’t tell the truth. My Mom had bought some things for a church function and had told us not to open the chips. Well one of us did (I am one of three girls) and when the person who did it didn’t fess up we all got spankings until that person told the truth. It sucked since it was my oldest sister and me and my other sister did not do anything wrong (we really didn’t know who did it, just that we hadn’t) but we learned my Dad meant business and that telling the truth was always the best option.
Your father hit you with a belt for eating chips? That’s not just a punishment, that’s child abuse.
The punishment was for lying, nor for eating chips! Corporal punishment works on a great number of children and the punishment was equal to the transgression. Children should be taught early that lying is not an acceptable behavior.
Corporal punishment is NEVER ACCEPTABLE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. why would you think it’s acceptable to beat your child when if you beat another adult, you could be charged with assault???
My parents used corporal punishment with both me and my brother. Not once do I consider it to be child abuse. And I will admit, I got it the most because I pushed my limits the most. We weren’t hit about the body, legs arms, back, or face. It was directly on the behind and behind only. 3 whacks with the belt. And depending on the transgression, it may be a spanking with a hand or if I really pulled a stunt, it was the belt from my dad. (Having a smart mouth was my biggest problem.) But each time it happened, it was not done in a moment of anger. We were sent to our rooms first while they discussed the issue. Then when we were called back, they sat us down and explained why we were being punished. Then we leaned over the arm of the couch, took our lucks and then moved on. Yes it hurt. But it worked. And no, I did not and do not fear my parents. We feared the belt. And there is a VERY big difference there. So people need to cool their jets when they hear corporal punishment. Not all parents pulled off a belt they were wearing and just started slinging it willy nilly, hitting what ever piece of exposed flesh they can see, all while being done in a moment of anger. And I had A LOT of friends who’s parents used a belt the same way mine did. And I will admit, that large group of us growing up got into the least amount of trouble out of the kids in our grade. And I thank my parents for doing what they did. They were consistent, followed through on what they said, but took the time to explain why we were being punished. We learned that when our behavior was inappropriate or disrespectful there will always be consequences. Always. Some may be worse than others, but there is always a consequence and we were to be accountable for what we had done.
You sound like someone who was never spanked as a child. I got my butt whooped a few times for different things and you can be sure I never did them again.
If the spanking has become a short hand for frustration or anoyance, or just ‘shut the frap up’ then. Yes I agree with you.
I was slippered just once in my life. I had been caught steeling money (to buy plastic model kits), and bear faced lying about it in the face of evidence. My dad was livid. I got sent to my room and he had to go for an hours drive to calm down..
When he got back he came up stairs and put me over his knee and tanned my backside.
To be frank the paddling didn’t smart half as much as the abject humiliation. But it taught the lesson that at the time I so needed, that there are lines, there are things you don’t do and you don’t tolerate.
In hind sight, I see that it wasn’t a hasty decision for my dad , that he knew not to act out of anger, yet I needed a lesson that was unambiguous and firm. I don’t think he made the decision to slipper me lightly (at least I hope not )
And that was the only time he ever raised his hands to me.
But it worked.
So as I said, if it has be come a regular, shorthand for frustration or silencing your kids, or because you can’t control your anger then it really is a problem. But there ARE lessons where it needs (depending on the child) needs to be drummed in.
Namely that society has limits that there are things that are not and should not be tolerated. Theft and lying(in the face of guilt) are two of them. And transgression on these taboos is likely to attract swift and unpleasant retribution.
so I humbly disagree with you. I was not repeatedly savaged by a mean drunk for whom beating her kids was an easy outlet for her frustrations. I was punished once by a loving father who had to draw the line and make sure I understood the lesson.
My brother and I GOT CORPORAL PUNISHMENT (on our butts, not where exposed for everyone to see) ALL THE TIME AS A CHILD AND I’M GLAD I DID. And guess what? I’M STILL ALIVE! And I have respect towards my parents (and others) and we have a really close relationship! No harm done in my eyes.
Personally, while I respect your opinion, I’m glad you don’t spank your children. If you (or anyone for that matter) cannot tell the difference between a beating and a spanking then you shouldn’t be doing it. I have a couple close parent friends who admit that they could never spank their child because they don’t trust themselves to calm down enough first. My dad was one of those people so he never spanked us. Mom, however, always used it as a last result, after a time out & an explaination. I have an amazing relationship with them and hold no resentment what so ever.
So, uh, I grew up with actual child abuse. Until you have a man 4 times your size attempting to crush your skull against the arm of the couch, or strangle you while slamming you against a wall and breaking your nose, don’t sit there and call an ass-whoopin’ child abuse. Seriously, that’s not child abuse.
Thats your opinion, dont try to force your child rearing views on someone else…
In other words, mind your own business.
Actually, I was spanked. I was hit with a hand, and a wooden spoon. I was tied to the bed with strips of sheet to keep me in it. I had my mouth “washed out with soap” (ie. attempted poisoning, as far as I was concerned). And these, among many, many other things, are all part of the reasons my grandparents tried to save me from my parents by taking me in as often as possible. Today, I am a very good person, who lives her life trying to help others and advocating for the less fortunate, who learned it all either from her grandparents or on her own. All my parents taught me was how NOT to parent.
I was never spanked as a child and I will never spank mine. There’s other ways to punish, I find this the easy way out. Also, I think it’s cruel, not just physically but emotionally. My sister and I respected the ones who raised us and learned quickly not to do something to disappoint them. Start getting creative, you’ll feel better about it.
People like you are the reason kids are out of control. Real life consequences for negative behavior is the only way to go. You say don’t spank them to deter bad actd when young but will sentence them to death as an adult when they become criminals. You can’t breed animals and cry when they bite you.
That is why schools are like pre prison training with metal detectors, security guards, etc. When people would spank their kids for misbehavior and paddling was allowed in school there was no need for metal detectors or security guards. Just sayin
yeah i agree you all make poor kids suffer because i get hit in my head with a metal spoon because somebody posted that and my mom tried doing
It most certainly is not child abuse. TO NOT spank a child is abuse. You were clearly raised WRONG!!
In the State of Michigan, you may spank a child on a clothed bottom with your open hand. Using a belt or anything other than your hand, is considered child abuse. Using a belt on a child for lying is not good parenting. And all it teaches them is that hitting/abusing when you’re angry is acceptable. If you want to stop a child from lying there are other, far more effective methods. If your only acceptable method is corporal punishment, then do it the right way, with your open hand, on their clothed bottom so as to not cause damage to their skin and or muscles-which a belt will do! Even the number of spanks is limited to avoid serious damage because a great big male hand on a tiny bottom can cause serious damage, that amounts to abuse.
Are you a child psychologist and know the inner workings of their minds? Spanking with a clear explanation teaches them that there are DIRECT consequences to their actions. Now kids have no respect for adults and do things that would never even cross my mind. That’s a direct result from fear of punishing them appropriately.
Legality is a matter of power, not justice.
That is incorrect, there is no law on the books saying you cannot use a belt or other object. There is also no law saying you can’t spank on a bare bottom. I have a degree in Criminal Justice from a Michigan University, I know what the law says. CPS may not like it and may try to intimidate you out of doing it, but that’s not the same thing.
Belts arechild abuse. Whipping a child who hasn’t done anything to “make a point” or get the others to confess is most definitely child abuse! My “parents” bragged about it, but couldn’t understand why we never confided in them and tried to handle serious problems like bullying instead of asking them for help. They got all butt hurt that we confided in our aunt and eagerly chatted with herbut never them
I became a good person in spite of them,, not because of them. Thank God they are dead and in hell where they belong
I agree with Netbug. Anyone who is reading this needs to understand that Corporal Punishment IS abuse! Do you want to know how I taught my children not to lie when they used to lie for each other in situations like this? I would make them write “Thou shall not lie” 200 times in their best penmanship. It was a memorable punishment and I didn’t have to abuse them to teach them. As teenagers they are now unbelievably, and sometimes overwhelmingly, honest with me!
So when/if they refuse to write, then what? Some kids do that, you know…
And how long did you wait for the paper, every child is different what works for you and I’m glad that it did may not work for others
What was the “lesson” for the two children who were telling the truth but got beaten anyway?
Probably to make them understand that every deed has a consequence that also affects others. I am not saying it was the right thing to do but that’s how I see the reasoning behind it.
I worked in a school that used corporal punishment. Generally small amounts small problems. e.g. rude — 3 swats. Homework not done 3 swats. Cheating on a quiz 10 swats.
It worked. Oh sure, there were kids that it didn’t work for, but in 30 years of teaching it was the most polite school I’ve ever been in.
For it to work:
* It’s not a big deal. Half the kids got a couple swats for something once a week.
* It has to be soon after the offence. Our Head said, “Deal with it before sunset, or forget it, it didn’t happen”
* It wasn’t a beating. Swats were given over clothes with a 18″ long piece of 1×2. It stung (All staff got 5 swats before their contract was signed.) but it didn’t bruise.
But do they ever question themselves why they are lying to them. But nobody asks themselves that and nobody never wakes up and realises that their point of view isnt the same for child. I think the only reason children are lying is that they are scared of what might happen if they told the truth and thats because every time you lie you get spanked by your own parent.
I’ve had this problem as I have three children. The punishment is not for eating chips, it is for disobeying, sneaking, stealing, and lying. My husband once used the exact same tactics.
Seriously? He beat three children because one child–hello CHILD–made a mistake. Sorry, but that’s child abuse.
Three children got SPANKED. There is a huge difference between BEAT and SPANKED. Being beaten is abuse and being spanked is not. I was spanked as a child, I love both my parents and am living a very successful life. Both my brother and I have been complemented on how polite we are our entire lives.
I don’t remember exactly why we got the belt, but think it might have had something to do with not coming home from the school when we were supposed to. Maybe we weren’t even supposed to go! Anyway, my mom was a widow at that time, and my oldest brother was on leave from the Air Force with his wife and 4 boys. They all lined up to get a swat (1) from the belt, and I was just sure I was just as guilty, so I lined up with them. After I grew up he told me it broke his heart to do it, but there I was, leaned over with the others. He was a stern dad, and I remember my mom telling him he might be a sergeant at the base but he was daddy at home. And I thought SHE was tough on us!
I was spanked a few times, learned. The worse by far was by a teacher. Yes spankings work . I know and my children know. I’m sure you understand that your opinion has no validity. As well as the truth that some adults in society need a good spanking because their parents didnt teach them values. For instance the value if keeping your mouth shut rather than condemning a strangers parenting.
Just like it’s obvious from your statements that you’re an abuse know-it-all who has no problem lazily using violence instead of applying good parenting skills. Kudos to you.
Fully agree mate
Your forgetting the difference the understanding of the time. Jessica’s parents had no concept of what we would consider child abuse. To them, this was normal. If we apply todays standards of what child abuse is..then maybe. To use as an example, my bother ( the apple of my father’s eye) left the bird cage open one day, and the cat got the parakeet. My father was furious, and blamed me because I was the oldest child. He was not interested in listening and accused me of being a lying whore just like my mother. He took his belt, and said that he was going to beat the evil jezebell out of me. Needless to say, I was black and blue (was not my father’s favorite child) for weeks. My brother finally admited to what he had done and was rewarded for telling the truth. The point I am trying to make is this..just because someone used a belt as ameans of punishement does not necessarily mean that it is child abuse. Bad judgement yes, child abuse no. It is about understanding standards of the time. In today world, we have a greater understanding of how children think and of what works better to educate and displine them. We also have greater support systems for parents then we ever did before. In todays world, it is not necessary to punish a child by stricking them, because we now know that they do not respond as well to pain as they do to understanding that their actions have consequences.
no its not.. its called “pushing the limits and dealing with consequences…
No…
the punishment was NOT for eating chips…
It WAS for dishonesty.lies.deciet.theft.
I think the sister that did steal the chips should have gotten in more trouble when she was discovered to be the one in the wrong for letting someone else take the fall/punishment
unjustly.
its not child abuse
Parents who spank are simpletons. They have no other ideas on how to punish or are simply lazy and looking for a quick fix. Parenting is hard, requires you to think, be calm, rational and do what is in the best interest of the child. My children understand their actions have consequences, they know when we mean business and we have never hit them once. Sad but true if you spank you are either lazy or too simple to find an alternative form of punishment that doesn’t degrade, or physically hurt them.
The worst part of corporal punishment is not the belt on the ass; it is having to wait for it. My mother was never very good with corporal punishment. She would send me to my room and tell me to wait until my father got home. THAT was the hell!! I spent the rest of the day thinking about it. When my father got home, it was a bit of a relief. The punishment lasted about 10 seconds, and then I went on my merry way. The suffering was spending hours waiting for it.
Facts.
“Spanking” kids with a belt is fucked up to me, but more acceptable on its own. But it /enrages/ me to think that he CONTINUED to beat two other INNOCENT KIDS when they couldn’t control the situation at all. That is appalling and makes me want to cry. I bet if he got beaten with a belt for something he couldn’t control at all he’d call it torture.
The problem with the world today are the people who think that a spanking is child abuse. A spanking, not a beating…Probably the same people who think hardened criminals have rights and should live better in prison than I do outside of it…we’ve become to soft and it’s getting worse and worse, because there isn’t enough consequences taught at an early age…
Yet in the countries where hitting your child is illegal anti-social behaviour and crime are all at lower levels. Your logic is so deeply flawed.
That doesn’t prove causation.
So, you think people in prison live better than those on the outside?! WRONG!!!! Your post indicates that you have MUCH to learn about child psychology specifically, and humanity in general!!
I`ve read several of these other posts; maybe one or two indicate that there ARE parents out there who know how to use corporal punishment PROPERLY, while too many others simply DON’T!!!!
However, the use of corporal punishment has too great of I possibility of teaching that violence is okay, and THAT, RIGHT THERE, IS WHERE THE REAL TROUBLE IS!!!!
THE OTHER TWO KIDS WERE COVERING FOR THE THIRD. JUST AS BAD AS LYING.
Actually, the poster said that she and her other sister genuinely did not know who did it. Their dad just made the assumption that they were covering up or complicit.
I feel like waterboarding would have been effective here
There are more effective disciplines than spanking/beating with belts. My four boys are respectful, well behaved boys and I don’t beat them. Beatings are just lazy parenting, like the dad beating innocent kids to prove he’s boss they are done out of frustrátion and a over reactions.
Beating is not spanking, and the second you use those 2 as interchangeable shows that you are not being at all sensible about the issue
This wasn’t corporal punishment. It was a spanking with a belt. I had them as a child and did not consider it child abuse, I still don’t. She didn’t say she was beaten and no one replying here knows how hard she was spanked. She obviously felt her father didn’t abuse them and I’ll bet she tells the truth.
“Corporal” punishment literally means- punishing the body. Really. That is the actual definition.
I am thankful that spanking and other forms of child abuse are illegal here in Sweden.
And the kids…well behaved.
All hitting a child does is teach them that violence is an answer.
I assume the spankers are mainly from the USA. It figures.
Aren’t Sweden’s schools overflowing with children of immigrants right now? Isn’t your country having a hard time integrating these immigrants into your countries ideological values? Because of that human rights violation stories are coming out of your country left and right. I hear about child abuse stories from your country more then I hear about shit from the US these days. Maybe a decade ago you could of been so proud but from my Sweden news feeds I think your comment is no longer valid. Sweden is not the country you think it is anymore. Sorry
hi ,
what’s your age when you got that puishment?
what’s your age now ?
Beating a child with a belt or with anything is chlid abusement
I feel bad for you Jessica. Now I know I am not the only one.
Just two days ago I took ALL of my 15 yr old daughters make-up away from her. I even hid my make-up (everyday and stage make-up). She cried and carried on like someone died, but I’m hoping she’ll learn it’s more important in life to be on time (as in to school) and to get good grades than perfecting your wing tip and watching YouTube make-up tutorials.
Wish me luck!
Good Luck!! And smart for hiding your stuff, too!
dam baby u look so fuckin 🔥 WOW ur very BEAUTIFUL HUN so wats up baby gurl lets talk or text sometimes k hit pauly up shawty lol 🔥💯💝🌷
My sister did that it was not good. Her dsughter still resents her and tells her everydsy she hates her.So goodluck. She also skipped out of school she said no makeup no school. She would drop her off in her class and as soon as the bell would ring off she went out the school. She is 21 now and she still tells her mom she hates her. They lost there special bond just because she took her mskeup away.
When I was a kid, I rode horses and competed in horse shows. I was 13 years old and was being really sassy and not doing my homework etc. My mom threatened me that if I kept it up, I would not be allowed to go to my horse show the following weekend. I thought she was bluffing b/c she had already paid all the money for my entry fee to go. Sure enough, I did not change my behavior, I DID NOT go to my horse show AND I had to pay Mom back for the entry fee by doing extra work around the house.
Around the same age (preadolescence was a tough time for me behavior wise) I was really being a brat at the start of the summer. My parents warned me that if my behavior continued, I would be doing ALL of the outdoor yard work for the entire summer (instead of my dad hiring someone). Again, I called their bluff and I spent the ENTIRE summer doing yard work. My parent’s house is on 2 acres. My DAD loves to garden so the entire yard is landscaped with numerous flower beds, lots of grass to mow and we had a pool as well. Plus we lived in the South and it is very hot/humid (heat index in the 100s) the entire summer. Every morning my Dad left me a list of things he wanted done (weeding, mowing, cleaning the pool etc) and it had to be done before he got home. He got creative and I literally had a list long enough that took me all day. My Mom woke me up at 7 am every morning to get it all done. I HATED that summer. My parents did right by me, I deserved it. They had tried everything to get me to stop acting like a brat and they figured some manual labor would not hurt…only thing that got me in line! I was never so happy to see the school year start!
I gave my mum a bit of teenager sass one evening when I was 16 (not the first time!). My father was so furious with me that he made me wrote a For Sale ad for my horse.
I loved my horse more than I have ever loved anything in my life. My teenage years were hell. I had suicidal ideations and had undiagnosed depression. If it wasn’t for my horse I would be dead.
My heart broke into a million pieces as I wrote about Rebel and I had to include in the ad why I was selling him. I am 47 years old and I remember the grief and despair to this day.
I handed the note to my father and went to bed. I heard my parents arguing about what had just happened and my mother was defending me. What I had done in being cheeky didn’t warrant the punishment.
She fought for me and I got to keep Rebel but my
depression worsened as did my thoughts of suicide and it took years before I stopped fearing my father. Trust took even longer.
I love the punishments that benefit the parents. I frequently made my kids do cleaning as punishment.
hay A honey wen u were with the horses u never ever thought over stroking there big huge fat cocks i know u had a thought in ur mind cuz 🐎 all d hung asf andci wanna see u take a big fat horses cock in ur tight ass pussy and ass baby can u handle it lets talk shawty ima fuckin freak gurl so 📞 me or text me 👌 7347965506 love always pauly🔥💯💝🌷
My dad is a Behavioral Psychologist specialized in kids. When I was about 3yo my dad stop the car on the side of the freeway because I wouldn’t stop crying. He stopped and say: I’m gonna leave you here, have some money (gave me some bills). Someone will wan’t you, even If you cry so much.
I inmediatly try to stop crying and say “Why are you giving me away? I am your little daughter!” After that I off course behave better.
Even today (i’m 30yo now) They still remember that and laugh.
for a behavioral psychologist that was very poorly handled. threatening a 3 year old child with abandoning her is a terrible thing to say.
I don’t have a good punishment story, but I want to go to a party with horses dressed as unicorns! Too funny 🙂
baby alexis L u is fuckin 🔥 gurl well we can make dat happen 4 u but ima freaking freak alexis i wanna see u grt ur freak on wit a huge dog cock in yo pussy and a big fucking horses cock in yo ass of fucking yah baby i know u want dat let get freaky shawty im pauly 📞 me or text me 💘 k 7347965506
My mom bought me this amazing, electric blue adult dress for prom. I was a sophomore and invited by my junior boyfriend. The dress was insanely inappropriate for a 15 year old, but I looked so grown up in it with my high heels. I couldn’t wait. My mom was out one evening and I was left home to care for my much younger brothers, as usual. After I put them to bed, I invited my bf over (so not allowed). My mom came home earlier than expected, so I shoved him out the back door. I had had him park on the next street, just in case. My mom saw his car, put two and two together and I got grounded two weeks before prom. The worst is she let me try it on, do my hair and makeup and let my best friend take a couple pictures before she told me that I couldn’t keep the dress for another time. She took that dress back and I missed prom that year. My mom had always followed through, but to this day, that is the one I remember, and regret, the most.
Yesterday walking home from school my youngest kept acting up, so I told her she had to walk behind me nad her sister because I didn’t want to see her being snotty. She took this time to scream at the toop of her lungs. When I turned around she absolutly cringed and started to panic “PLEASE DON”T SPANK ME ON THE BUTT!” I told her I owed her a spanking, unless she could come up with a better punishment. by the time we got home she promised to write an apologie letter, and had 5 min with her nose in the corner.
You’re disgusting. Your child is cowering in fear because she doesn’t want you to hit her.
???? Oh yes, because spanking your child on the butt when he or she is acting up is TOTALLY the same thing and COMPLETELY disgusting. You didn’t get spanked enough as a child did you?
Any spanking is too much. It’s no different than assault on another adult.
Your ignorant as they come. People like you are the reason kids today are out of control. Some Adults need to be hit to so whats your point?
It actually is the same thing. Spanking is hitting a child on purpose. So yeah, it’s abuse.
And not that it’s any of your business, but since you ask, yes, I was hit as a child. With hands, belts, shoes, woodedn spoons. You know what it taught me? EMPATHY! I know what it feels like to have your parents – the ones who are supposed to love, teach, and protect – be the ones to PURPOSELY choose to inflict pain on the most vunerable.
My children have punishments and consequences for their actions. Fortunately, they rarely ‘misbehave’ because they are respeceted and treated as human beings. They in turn practice compassoin and repsect in all aspects of their lives. Sure, they have their moments of imperfection, we all do. But we find ways to turn that into an opportunity to learn and grow. All without violence.
It sounds like your parents diciplined you by instilling fear and spankings were just the vehicle. I have friends that were never spanked, but their parents used manipulation and guilt to instill fear and get control. And those individuals still are in therapy and have been hurt much more than other friends who were spanked without instilling fear. I am very thankful my parents did not do that to us. But just because some parents don’t have the capacity to not be abusive while spanking, it doesn’t mean all parents who spank are abusive. I’m truly sorry you went through. It does make me sad your parents raised you by instilling fear. That was never my experience with spankings growing up.
Really? A spanking is not abuse. No wonder we have so many children that do not have any respect for anyone or anything.
Pity it didn’t teach you respect. Should have been hit harder.
Oh please. I WISH my dad had wiped my ass. Not just the whole three spankings I got in my childhood. I got away with SO MUCH SHIT and I feel like it impacted me as an adult. What was worse is my Mom did whoop me (or once she took away all my stuff during a visit) and I knew she meant business.
A spanking is not a beating. A “whooping” isn’t a beating either. I have family members who could ACTUALLY tell you the difference and many friends who would tell you having to get a switch from the yard taught them to not be little ass holes.
Get off your high horse. A spanking is NOT assault.
Spanking is assault by definition and it affects people different… it is also a form of punishment that is not used by our justice system (corporal punishment ), effective or not… if our government, as it stands says it is unethical then it is unethical to administer it to a child. On a side note I think it is funny that parents feel the need to use a weapon (belt, spoon,etc.)on a 10 year old because they can inflict enough pain with an open hand…
Sod off
My father whupped us good. Often. I would far rather get whupped than suffer the psychological damage my mother inflicted on us by letting us all know that we fell short of her expectations.
If you think that either form of abuse is somehow preferrable or lesser/worse than the other, then you have already suffered psychological effects. Please seek professional help.
Somebody’s on her high horse. How’s the view from up there?
You need to read my earlier comment. My parents used a belt on our behinds. We didn’t fear our parents, we feared the belt. Not all forms of punishment were physical, some were losing privileges. But we would get the belt if we decided to push it. And it was not abuse. It was an attention getter and we learned about accountability and consequences. But NEVER did I fear my parents. I feared having to deal with the consequences of my actions. So open your mind and please think before you speak. Listen to the facts before you judge and jump to conclusions. And I’m not suggesting everyone should whip their kids with a belt. Do what works best for your family. I’m just saying it worked with me and my brother and we were not abused nor ever feared our parents. Too often I see parents respond with a knee jerk reaction when they hear about spanking or using a belt. And with some of those same parents, they are the ones who make threats, yell, are inconsistent and never follow through with punishments because they don’t want to be the bad guy. But yet are the first ones to step up and say spanking is abuse but don’t understand why their kids act out. Not all of those parents fall into that catagory, but I know many that do.
Spankings were reserved when all other methods failed. They did a lot because we were absolute snots. Spankings were far more effective because who likes that crap? I loved and respected my parents, never feared them, and we had an awesome bond. Excessive is bad and doing it in anger is bad.
I have only spanked my kid once, but so far she’s a good kid and responds well to the alternative punishments. She hates when I ground her from her books. I also implement the writing “I will not…” lines about 100x’s or more depending on the offense and how pissed I am. People tell me that those are terrible punishments because ‘writing should never be a punishment’ You can’t win this parenting thing without someone judging you.
Fear is what makes the world go ’round, Peaches.
Fear is the way it works genius. Do you “fear” “god” same concept.. Just like Raven below your the reason the children of today are out of control brats.
Disgusting?? She was afraid to get spanked what was the mom supposed to do let her scream at the top of her lungs?
Spanking your children in the butt is not a bad punishment. Your mother was probably a (too) nice mother that was a democrat.
My grandmother, who lived with us growing up, was pretty formidable. She had warned me and brother to pick up our toys, or she would burn them. We were about 7 and 9. One day we didn’t act quickly enough, and sure enough, we looked out the window and there she was, pile of toys on the ground at her feet, flames just getting started, and she had a bottle of lighter fluid in her hand. Up in smoke they went, and a legend was born.
When I was 17 I broke curfew once and came home around 3-4AM. My father had stayed up waiting for me and was upset, needless to say. He had planned to leave me alone at home while he went on a nice trip to see my brother play with an orchestra after winning an international competition. But he said he couldn’t trust me, so he cancelled his trip. I felt terrible that he had to miss seeing his son on this once-in-a-lifetime occasion, that my brother had to play without his father’s support, and that I had lost his trust. Much worse than if he had actually punished *me*!
My husband didn’t get to go trick or treating the year he was 5. However, this punishment was well deserved- he burned the garage down playing with matches.
A couple of years ago my kids wouldn’t stop bickering. We walked a block, I said if they continued we’d go home. We did.
I don’t remember this personnally, but it is legend in my family. My oldest brother wouldn’t clean his room and my mom got sick of it so she threatened to get rid of all his stuff if he didn’t clean. He didn’t clean it so she took all of his stuff and threw t in the wood burning stove we have and burned it all! My mom didn’t fool around!
see my dad did something similar to me when i was about 7…. he said if i didn’t clean my room he would shovel it all into the bin and i would have nothing. i had an hour. i spent 5 minutes picking up everything i wanted to keep (Toys, favourite clothes ect) putting them onto the bed and left everything i didn’t want, but couldn’t be bothered to pick up. he dutifully shoveled it all into a giant trash bag while i sat on my bed playing pokemon. i thought i was in the clear. the next morning, obviously i had been forced to clear the bed to sleep in it, i had dumped the bed stuff on the floor again. he came in and put it all into a bag as i was waking up. but since that was all nice stuff he thanked me for sorting it, washed the clothes and soft toys and took the whole bag to the charity shop.
My son Liam managed to shut down Dinotown because he got away from me at 3 years old. I told him if he didn’t stay by my side he was in trouble. He did it again. I couldn’t leave, it was my other sons kindergarten party. So I made Liam sit with me on a bench for the next 2 hours while all the other kids ran and played in the water park. Then on leaving I let my other son Evan pick out a toy and Liam couldn’t and to top it off Evan and I got ice cream and Liam couldn’t have any. Evan and I talked about how delicious the ice cream was all the way home. Liam just cried. He never took off on me again though
A teacher of mine from high school has a ten-year-old who didn’t have Halloween for three years because she was too mouthy. She got to pass out candy but wasn’t allowed to trick or treat. This is 100% something I will do when I have children. In fact, all of these are. Kids don’t learn otherwise.
Wow. I’d never turn around at Disney world! But I don’t live on that coast so maybe that’s the difference (it would require a ton of money to get there/plan that vacation). You parents are strong! Last year, my son begged me to sign him up for baseball, so I did, paid a ton of money for the league, cleats, glove, uniform, equipment, etc. After the first practice, he realized how hard it was and since he actually had to work at it, he decided he didn’t want to do it anymore- complete with screaming, yelling, and tantrums. He was nearly 7 yrs old and I couldn’t believe the fit he was throwing! So as a punishment (or really a lesson in not giving up just because it’s hard), he had to complete the season and I took away his video games for the whole season. If he actually put forth effort, I’d give him back his video games but if not, I threatened to sell all his games and systems. Luckily, for him, he finished out the season and got his games back but it was a good lesson in not giving up just because it’s hard and finishing something you’ve started. He doesn’t play baseball anymore but is loving karate and has learned to put in the effort! And he still remembers I did that and references it often when I tell him not to give up!
I don’t know what to say. Most of these stories are just horrible and so humiliating for the children. It makes me really sad.
Oftentimes, that’s the only thing that can get through to children…sometimes learning lessons is painful for all parties involved.
I think this is the wrong perspective. In parenting, a long perspective is necessary. Sure, in the moment, the child may be embarrassed. But what is embarrassment compared to the consequence of not learning the lesson? None of these things came without reasonable warning. Every child was given the choice to change his or her behavior before any consequence was imposed.
As a parent, I consider what will happen if my child does not learn this lesson. If they continue to sass and back talk to authorities, they could lose jobs, end up in prison, or any number of much worse consequences than missing out on a fun event. If they don’t take care of toys and such when young, it can cost them their possessions, even more dramatically than losing them to goodwill.
You get the idea. So many of these things show that the kids have more than they need…toys, parties, vacations, etc. If the children have not chosen to act according to the expectations that parents laid out, taking away extras is reasonable. These children were not deprived of food, shelter, or basic necessities.
I think with kids there is a definite “the punishment fits the person”. I have three kids. My oldest all you have to do is look at her with a disappointing expression and she breaks down. While my youngest would grab a bar of soap and eat it so that she could cuss you out (medication ended up helping) and even at three would put herself on timeouts once for an hour so she could misbehave. So her punishments always had to be severe.
Some kids respond to different punishments.
None of these punishments were abusive, nor were they random punishments for no reason. The child was told a punishment would occur if they continued to do something bad, in many cases they were given many warnings, and they continued. People nowadays are saying that millennials are spoiled and soft, and that may be true because they had baby-boomer parents who threw money and stuff at them in lieu of quality parenting time. If the circle is coming back around, people are seeing that having a soft childhood did not prepare them for a tough adulthood. I applaud these parents. In many cases the parents were punished just as much as the child.
Do you know what happens to kids who don’t learn consequences of their actions at a young age? They turn into “affluenza kid” and continue to get away with terrible behavior and could end up seriously harming or even killing another person because they just don’t get it. We were all disciplined in one way or another and most of us grow up to be decent hums beings who understand the basics of cause and effect.
Yeah, or they turn into Donald Drumpf.
No, it’s not humiliating, it’s enlightening. The main thread that happens in these stories is consistency and follow-through. I have seen WAY too many parents threaten to punish a kid if his/her behavior doesn’t change, and then follow up by ignoring both their threat and the kid’s behavior. What does that teach the kid? That he’s the boss and can get away with anything.
What these stories show is that the parents say what they mean and will follow through. The earlier the children learn that there are consequences to actions, the earlier they learn to consider consequences before performing those actions.
If you don’t want to tolerate a behavior, there need to be consequences if it continues. You don’t make “threats”, you make promises. These promises have to be reasonable, but severe enough (while still being safe) to impress the child. You also have to consider the effects on the family. You don’t want siblings beating on the kid for spoiling their vacation, or parents being resentful and taking it out on the kid.
Anna, either you are not a parent, or are intent on raising narcissistic sociopaths that will end up being total jerks…..or prison inmates. If children do not learn proper, socially acceptable behavior we ALL suffer later because they think the world revolves around them. When children misbehave they need to know there will be immediate and unpleasant consequences. “Time outs” are a ridiculous way to instill respect for their parents, and other humans in general.
This is what my husband and I talk about all the time. We have 6 kids between us, 4 that live with us. Time outs, grounding, restrictions, etc work sometimes with some of them. Other times we have to spank. We’ve never done it hard enough to leave a mark, but sometimes it’s the shock of you doing it that gets them. My 5 year old step son likes to be a pain in the butt about eating. I have never given him anything he doesn’t like, and even if I make something new I always have one of his favorites ready as a backup. Yet, he will still refuse to eat. Now he is told 2 times to eat before the food is taken away and he goes to school or to bed hungry.
It doens’t matter how “hard” you hit someone when you do it ON PURPOSE.
Lord Almighty. This type of thinking is first of all dangerous, and second of all disrespectful to your children. Respect works both ways. If you teach your children to fear you, to use intimidation and humiliation to “teach them,” they will fear you, not respect you. And they will not learn to think critically about how to behave appropriately in various situations; they will simply learn to blindly obey.
I vividly remember the day my Dad taught me the consequences of lying. I was about six, and I was racing to jump onto the couch with my little brother with a lollipop in my mouth. My Dad, horrified at how dangerous my stunt had been, asked if he had really just seen me leap onto the couch with a sucker in my mouth. I lied and said no.
He sat me down and we had a very, very long talk. He told me that trust is like a wall that you build brick by brick, but that one lie can knock it down, and it takes a very long time to build the wall up again. He told me that he loves me and it’s very important that we are able to trust each other, and how much it hurt him that I would lie to him. That was almost 25 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday. I learned a very important lesson very rapidly, and to this day I have never, ever cringed in fear of either of my parents.
It is absolutely possible to teach your children the lessons they need to learn without humiliating them, destroying things that are important to them, or physically injuring them.
Oh my god. A spanking isn’t “physically harming” a kid. Jesus. A spanking is embarrassing and if used sparingly can be effective with SOME children.
And yes, there are some parents who are physically abusive, but I never once feared my dad the whole three times he spanked me in my life time. In fact, it never impacted my love for him. My mom who was literally beat for real? Scared of her parents. I don’t know ANYONE who got spankings or minor whooping a who were afraid of their parents.
Good lord.
That’s what it’s illegal in a lot of first world countries, right?
I agree with you, especially a lot of the comments here. It’s one thing to punish your child’s bad behavior, but some of these stories seem down right cruel. As far as what Milehilady wrote – you don’t need to be a parent to know how to properly address bad behavior. Some people think that having a kid automatically makes them better at knowing how to raise children.
I haven’t read a single cruel punishment. Obviously these kids needed something to get their attention. Those of you who think it’s cruel or humiliating have no kids or the kinds of kids no one can stand to be around.
I do have kids. And parents ask her for parenting advice because they are amazed at how well she turned out. I never had to hit or spank her. I treated her with respect and talked with her as an intelligent human being with a mind of her own.
I didn’t want her to just blindly do what I said. I wanted her to learn the logic behind her choices so she could make good choices on her own.
By 10 she was correcting friends. By 14 she was teaching her friends to be more grateful for all their parents did for them and to respect them. By 16 she was teaching them to work and earn for themselves rather than whine about what mom and dad wouldn’t buy.
At 25 my daughter is more responsible than most adults we run into.
FYI: some kids are easy and some are not. My brother and I were the easy two in my family. My sisters got the same talks and treatment, but we’re still frequently out of control. One of those same sisters has a daughter who is amazing, intelligent, obedient and helpful. That same sister has a wild child son with all kinds of issues. My son is NOT easy like I was, yet I get told often, by his teachers that I am one of the best parents they’ve interacted with. I’m involved but don’t helicopter parent. I don’t make excuses for him and I’m consistent and fair. Yet he struggles much more than my sisters daughter. That same sister is VERY uninvolved with her kids and much more worried about her next tattoo or going out to sing karaoke or her new boyfriend, yet her daughter is mature and wonderful. So keep in mind, you may be a good parent, but you may have also gotten lucky and what worked for you may not work for everyone.
MAYBE YOU’RE NOT READING BETWEEN THE LINES!! You mean to tell everyone on this post that you TOTALLY FAILED to see how one girl`s dad treated her like SHIT just because he loved her brother much more than her?!?!
She CLEARLY explained how she ended up black and blue even after indicating that she was NOT responsible for the bird`s unfortunate experience. Even after her brother later explained to their TOTALLY INSANE TWO-LEGGED TURD of a dad that HE was responsible for the situation, HER PIECE OF SHIT FATHER STILL DIDN’T APOLOGIZE FOR HIS OBVIOUS MISJUDGEMENT!!!!
Same here. The one closer to the top about all three kids getting the belt for one kid’s wrongdoing is making me feel ill.
You know what made me more angry? The dad telling his little girl he would put her out and give her money. I would rather get a spanking than have my parent tell me he wanted me to leave. I little spanking would hurt less than wondering if i would be left behind every time I was misbehaving.
Oh you poor bleeding heart, godless liberal. Want a lolly pop.
Wow, what a dick
Anna, you obviously don’t have kids or have ever tried to raise one.
My siblings and I were terrible on one beach vacation-we fought on the way down to the beach, the whole week, and on the drive home. My dad told us if we didn’t shape up, we wouldn’t be going on vacation next year-my parents would just go alone. We didn’t shape up, and my parents left the kids at home with a babysitter the next summer vacation. The punishment was way too far removed from the crime though because I don’t even remember having to skip a vacation so clearly it didn’t make an impact! I think my parents just wanted an excuse to go on vacation without their four kids! 😀
I dropped my 13 yr old son at Barnes and noble to purchase a book. He had money in his pocket to buy one. By the time I parked the car and got into the store he was walking out with a book and claimed he was done. I asked to see the receipt,as this was quite a quick transaction. When he couldnt produce one I made him go back into the store with the book. The manager was too understanding and let it go. I knew there had to be a consequence. I drove my son to the bank and had him withdraw $75.00 from his account. We then returned to the bookstore and he purchased $75.00 worth of childrens books. We then drove to the hospital and donated them to the pediatric ward. He never stole again.
I LOVE this one!!!
This is beautiful. A perfect consequence.
Now THAT is an appropriate punishment for something that actually deserves punishing.
When my older daughter was about 6, she filled her pockets with small goodies at the bookstore. Only when we had left did I realize we had about $15 worth of stolen do dad’s in her pocket. I took her back to the store to apologize to the manager and return the items. The manager was going to be nice about it, but I insisted that she pay for the items from her allowance (she had been saving up for something). Because they couldn’t be resold, he told her to keep them. But not wanting her to profit from her crime (or enjoy the proceeds as I had said no to the items originally ), we took them all tout the local McDonald’s playplace and gave each item away to a child, with an explanation of why mydaughter had them and could not keep them. She was very upset to have to explain this to total strangers, but she has never taken anything that didn’t belong to her since (she also had a habit of bringing things home from the classroom….that they didn’t “need” anymore). She’s 12 now and she tells that story to her younger siblings!
What a magnificent way to handle this. It taught him a lesson, and also benefited other children. Fantastic!
Back in the 90’s my cousin got grounded from ELECTRICITY! No tv, blow dryer, curling iron, or even turning on lights. It’s dark out – too bad, go to bed. I was both horrified that her parents did that, and terrified that my parents would do the same to me.
Now that I’m a parent, I think it’s brilliant.
I saw a picture online – I love the punishment where a mother put a lock on the plug for stuff, you know, there’s a little hole in the plug prongs? She wouldn’t unlock it until the child cleaned their room.
My dad installed an additional switch in the middle of a double power point outside my step sister’s room, it controlled the electricity to things like her television, computer and stereo but not the lights. Any time she was misbehaving (to a considerable degree) he would just turn the power off. She never did figure it out. Just thought the fuses blew A LOT…
My dad used to make us “write lines” which meant we had to write a sentence over and over again for as many times as we were instructed. In the mean time we were not aloud to use the phone, computer, tv, listen to music, do anything entertaining or hang out with any friends. We were grounded until we finished our monotonous, boring task. One time I was being a sassy 13 year old and I kept arguing with my dad. He told me to stop talking and arguing, or i’d write 100 lines. I kept talking. Another hundred. I said, “fine!’ Another hundred. “good! I don’t care” Another hundred. “whatever, keep them coming”… You get the picture. I ended up having to write “I will not disrespect my father” 6,000 times. It took me months, and at the end my mum hung it up with “Erin’s Magnum Opus” written on the front.
The best part of that one is your mom’s sense of humor. 😀
Ha I had to do hundreds of lines daily in elementary. Apparently it was my teachers’ favorite punishment. However, they never seemed to realize that it didn’t work for me. All I wanted was a simple explanation as to WHY my behavior was inappropriate. And I meant something more substantial than “Because I said so.” My response was usually “That’s not good enough. please tell me exactly what I’m doing wrong?” as I’m being hauled physically to the principal’s office. I had that argument with every one of my teachers from grade 1 to 5 until finally my grade 6 teacher sat down with me and explained exactly what my actions were doing to the class as a whole, as well as how it was making him feel, on a personal level. I thanked him and after that, I was never a problem student again.
I was very aware of the fact that a lot of adults didn’t view me as a child to be important enough to explain things to so whenever I have any issues with my children I make sure that not only do I follow through with every threat I make, I sit down with them afterwards when everyone has calmed down and explain exactly what they were doing and why it was important that they not do it. I did it even when I thought that they might not be old enough to quite understand yet. My kids are 9 and 10, and I know as teenagers this might not continue, but I haven’t had any behavioral issues with them since they were 5 and 6….
CONGRATULATIONS!! YOU HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON WITH ACTRESS RAE DAWN CHONG AND HER SIBLINGS!!!!
I clearly remember sitting in the back seat with my cousin arguing about a plastic bracelet. The kind that had water and glitter in them. Well my dad was stopped at the meter waiting for it to turn green to get onto the 405 during rush hour. He didn’t yell or threatened,we knew him well enough by then that just him asking for whatever we were fighting over meant it was gone. Just as the meter turned green he ask for the bacelet, tossed it out the window then got onto the 405. We had 1 and a half hour ride to think about that bracelet on the way to my house. I was 6 and she was 8 at the time.
My sons often misbehaved in the store. One time, I said I’d take them outside to the van for a punishment if they disobeyed, then we’d come in and try it again. I left my cart of food behind and took them out – this threw them off because they knew the routine of going through the line, during which they got worse. I gave them a stern talk and light swat in the van, and said we’d try again. If we could get back to the van with our groceries, and if they didn’t fuss, AND if they didn’t beg me to buy anything, they could have a candy. I showed it to them and said it’d be waiting in the van. After that, they were well-behaved! We never had to leave to go back to the van again. And they stopped begging me for candy at the checkout.
Call it a “light swat” or whatever euphamism you want. But you made a conscious and deliberate choice to hit your kids on purpose. You fail as a parent.
You’re one of those “new age” parents aren’t you? Or you don’t have kids and have NO room to talk. Don’t you EVER tell someone they fail as a parent when you’re in no position to judge
Child abuse is everyone’s business.
Jaxxxy is a troll….keeps making comments towards the people who spank their kids. I’m guessing Jaxxxy has no kids, but just likes to tell other parents how to raise their children.
I am going to have to agree with the pro-spanking parents.
Sometimes parents have no other choice.
When I was 14 I decided to skip school. Of course I got caught. My father (single parent) ripped my phone out the wall. I, being a smart ass teenage, was able to get another phone from a friend. Then about a month later I skipped school again. My father cleaned out my room. I was left with my bed, an alarm clock, and my clothes. He even took my curtains down. All this stuff did was piss me off. I thought my Dad was an asshole. A little while later I skipped again. Well, by this point my dad had enough. He went to the basement and made a paddle 12″ long and about 1/2″ thick. I got an over the knee spanking. I am almost 50 years old and I still remember how it hurt my behind. But guess what? I never cut school again and I learned my dad was not messing around. I also found that I respected my dad more for it.
What country are you from?
Here again, sod off
Oh , hello . I guess jesus died and left you in charge.
Fuck that. Do you know that psychologically a 2-3 year old kid naturally, BY Instinct has the mindset of a dictator or TYRANT? if you dont make them CARE about misbeahving they will only CARE about doing what THEY want. I have 2 step kids they never got disciplined and its to the point where I WISHHhh I could hit them or even leave them in an empty room for an hour. These kids think they make the rules and it needs to stop. They are 3 and 5 by the way.
My daughter (4) wouldn’t stop hitting my son (1) in the face with her birthday balloon (one of the big fancy mylar ones) in the car and it was upsetting him a lot. I warned her several times that I would take it away if she couldn’t keep it to herself, and ended up having to follow through on that. She wouldn’t stop screaming the entire 40 minute drive home about me taking it away after that and so I calmly told her if she wasn’t going to calm down she was not going to get it back when we got home and I eventually lost my temper. When we got home I took a screwdriver and popped the balloon right in her face and made her watch me throw it in the trash. Not my proudest parenting moment, but it sure made me feel better at the time!
My mom learned early on that I was going to be a tough kid to discipline. She could spank (it was the 80’s) my siblings, but not me. I thought it was funny. What I hated doing was homework. SO, my genius mom would give me standards to write. LOOOONG, obnoxious standards, like, “I will not yell at my sister because she is little and deserves to be treated better” and I would have to write it 50 times before I could play, leave, watch TV, etc. It was the WORST.
as a divorced mum working full time (teaching) I needed my girls to help around the place (and they need to learn too) so when they stopped helping and started just demanding, wouldn’t clean, get ready for school promptly etc there happened to be a teacher’s strike and they understood the principle (they were 13 and 8) so I went on strike at home. they thought it was funny for the first couple of days – 2 minute noodles and beans on toast are fun… but after a few days they wanted cooking – didn’t help when I got myself take away. I said we work as a team or not at all. they quickly decided to apologise and help out. the effect lasted for years!! the big thing from all of these comments is they were a punishment to fit the crime, a promise was carried through and the child was never at risk.. just disappointed! great life lessons.
When my son was in 4th grade he thought that he could be disruptive in class. The teacher took various steps to correct the behavior by redirection, removal of recess, etc but to no avail the behavior continued. She contacted me and with her permission, I told my son that if he acted out during class again, I would be attending class with him. As most kids do, he thought it was just an idle threat and continued to misbehave. The teacher called and let me know, so I dropped my younger kids off at Gma’s house and showed up to his class. At first my son got really excited because he thought I was there to pick him up early. That excitement quickly faded as he watched me grab an extra chair and started walking towards his desk to sit down. LOL It got even better when the kids around him asked…Why is your mom here? I told them that since he couldn’t behave himself for his teacher, I would be coming in to sit by him everyday til he could. My son was so embarrassed that after about 20 min my point was made. Needless to say, my son no longer had discipline issues in that class again. The teacher simply needed to ask him if his mom needed to join him again for him to get back on task.
I had the same issue with my daughter when she was middle school aged (13-14), and I used the same correction. I took a week of vacation, and cleared it with her dean and teachers first. She was thrilled when I told her I’d drive her to school that morning (no bus!), which rapidly became fury/embarrassment when I told her I’d be attending her classes with her because she wouldn’t stop being disruptive. A moment I still laugh about: one of her friends greeted her in the patio between classes, asked her what was wrong, then saw me standing there and said (with a look of horror) “Oh Erin, I’m SO SORRY!”
We talked about it during the ride home. She told me I had embarrassed her, I replied that her bratty, disruptive behavior in school embarrassed me. I told her I did not like being there, as I’d graduated middle school a long time ago, and resented having to be there to monitor her when she was old enough that it should not be necessary. I also told her that I was prepared to be there every day until she graduated–if she made it necessary. Maybe needless to say, it was never necessary again.
My son is very young still but have pledged myself to this type of punishment if necessary as well. My younger (middle) sister goofed off and was a very undisciplined child, (I as the eldest and my baby sister were the ones beaten every time my mother was angry about something), and did not graduate highschool. Better late than never, my mother finally took time off and escorted and accompanied my middle sister to her summer classes to earn her GED.
It sucked that you lost out on vacation time because I felt my mother losing out on vacation time was well deserved as she let the middle child do whatever she wanted ending up with it blowing up in their faces. I commend you for acting so early, as even though my sister got her GED I believe it was too late in highschool to teach her a lesson as she is now 31 and STILL believes that as she did not ask to be born, my parents are still solely responsible for her…and her boyfriend. HA!
My mom did the same thing, but it was after she convinced the principal not to suspend my Junior-in-Highschool brother. Turns out having your mom make sure you get to class on time when you’re 17 isn’t so cool.
This is brilliant!
One year on Christmas eve, my brother (7 or 8 maybe?) was being horrible. Mouthy, rude, wouldn’t listen, etc. My parents said that Santa wouldn’t leave him anything if he kept it up. He didn’t stop. I am older and knew about Santa. After my brother went to bed, my dad enlisted my help to set my gifts under the tree, and my brother’s in a pile in a different room downstairs, away from the main floor and tree. Christmas Day dawns and my little brother zooms downstairs to get to the presents. I’m right behind him. He starts out enthusiastically. “Oh it’s for you! Here’s another…wow lots of stuff! You, you, you…you…”
Then it occurs to him.
There’s nothing with his name on it.
His lip starts to tremble and he goes pale. Then he starts to cry, which wakes up my parents. My brother is hysterical and my dad finally says, “Well I warned you last night that this was going to happen because of your behavior. Now…why don’t you look other places. Maybe Santa felt bad for you.”
My brother finally found his gifts and his tears became tears of joy. The whole family still talks about that year though.
When my son was about 11 I had told him he needed to clean his room. He put it off and put it off all weekend knowing it was to be done by Sunday night before bed. Bedtime came and it still wasn’t cleaned one bit. I told him fine, I would do it for him while he was at school the next day. When he came home from school, it was still a mess. He even commented “I thought you were going to clean my room?” Oh, I did. I left the mess but cleaned up every toy and fun item out of there. It didn’t take him long to discover exactly how I’d cleaned it and he didn’t like it one bit! Took him a while to be able to earn his things back. I never had to offer to clean his room for him again! 😉
We took a family trip to The Great Wolf Lodge (an indoor water park) after having my third child. It is a good 6 hour drive from our home without traffic and there was a lot of traffic & road construction on this particular trip. We arrived for our 4 day vacay with just enough time to swim for an hour before they closed the water for the night. That night my older two kids started acting up at bedtime. We warned them several times to go to bed. It took me several hours to get the baby to sleep. When they wouldn’t go to sleep or quiet down we were about to explode. When they woke the baby up, daddy had had enough. He packed us all up and we checked out & drove home at 2am.
One night, when I was about 6, I refused to eat my dinner.
My dad told me to sit at the table until I was ready to eat, everyone finished, the table was cleared, and everyone left. About an hour later, he came in and shut off the light on me.
What can I say? I was stubborn.
About 8 or 9pm rolls around, he comes back and tells me to get ready for bed.
The next day, the family went out to Dairy Queen. As I was about to get out of the car to place my order at the window, my dad says, “WAIT!” and pulls my dinner from the evening before out of the glove compartment.
I had to sit there and eat meatloaf, green beans, and potatoes, while my sister and brother scarfed down sundaes and cones!
Classic & Perfect! lol
My 15 year old daughter had a habit of not letting me know when she arrived home after school or where she was. I gave her warnings about it and said ..” The next time you are grounded!” Of course she did not believe me, lo and behold Tuesday came around and she did not call. I came home and told her she was grounded for 30 days. At once she began to protest, as this was happening , I also let her know that for every day she complains she would add a day to her ” sentence” and for every day she was accepting of the penance she would get a day removed…well, I must say it was amazing!
Since she was grounded ,so was I! I had to stay home too. I couldn’t go out , I couldn’t see my friends.
She and I ended in having the greatest time getting to know each other
; putting make-up on each other and dressing up , play acting! At hend she did not care about her friends or “freedom” . She had such a good time getting to know her Mom. I loved every moment.
Punishment is not to punish it is to teach. They need to know there is always hope.
It drives me crazy when parents say things like, “I never make empty threats and my kids know it so they always respond when we make threats.”
I never make empty threats either, my kid is just so stubborn that he couldn’t care less. We throw away his toys, take away screen time, cancel playdates. We make threats and he puts us in check mate the only way he possibly could he doesn’t give a flip.
Military school. That’ll fix him.
I was exactly the same way. Grounding meant nothing to me, nor did taking away stuff or privileges. My parents were frustrated for years and tried anything and everything. There were only two punishments that made an impact on me. #1: I never brought my homework home and didn’t care about school. So my dad started coming to my school and waited at my locker after last class to make sure I brought home homework. It was humiliating, and he kept it up for months. I definitely learned that lesson. #2: This was the most successful punishment of my life: I was horrible and yelling and I went to my room and slammed my door. My parents yelled back, “if you slam your door one more time you won’t have a door to slam!” Well of course I slammed it 3 more times just because I was angry and challenging. So my dad got a screwdriver and took the door away. For many months. Every time I started to act badly they would ask me if I wanted to have no door for another month. And they meant it. They took away my sense of privacy, my sense of entitlement, I don’t even know why but it worked better than all of the things they had ever tried. Finally getting my bedroom door back was humbling.
I have dealt with this as well though not from the parenting perspective. I was a strong willed child myself and my parents had to be very creative in my punishments because I taught myself not to care. Keep trying though. I know for me one of the things that really got through to me was when I was supposed to attend a camp and did not complete the requirements for me to go. (It was finishing a math book or something along those lines. Nothing unreasonable) I did not end up going and had to pay that money back to my parents and only so much could be earned by doing chores. I had to come up with creative ways to earn the money otherwise. It took me at least a year to pay IIT back but now I have a very strong work ethic and hate being in debt so I learned what I needed to learn. Just hold fast it will get better.
Hi Amanda,
I am a Human Behaviour Consultant and it sounds like you have a child with a Dominant Behaviour Style. They are the hardest kids to parents because of their high energy and they constantly challenge you.
A few things to try.
Your child has an overwhelming desire to be in charge.
Give him opportunities to be in charge with boundaries.
Bedtime: Instead of you need to go to bed at 9 pm. Try You can go to bed anytime between now and 9 pm but 9 is the latest.
Explore ideas where he can lead or be in charge of certain things at home.
Dominant kids are motivating by competition and winning. They also need lots of space to move around and lots of physical activity.
(I was just talking to another parent last week about their 3 year old dominant child, something as little to us as letting your kid walk about the ladder to her bunk bed versus being picked up and put in to bed makes a huge difference to them. It is a safe opportunity for them to be in control of their decisions.)
Good Luck!
When I was young I used to poke my little brother all the time, making him scream. My father said one day he was going to cut my right hand off if I kept doing it.
I just burst out laughing at work when I read this comment.
Some of these made me laugh, some made me think, but more than anything it reminded me how hard it can be at times to parent a child and get it right. I once thought I had a brilliant punishment for my kids that would have fit well on this list; turns out it was ME who learned the biggest lesson of all: https://www.facebook.com/ron.pacheco/posts/4109529112884:0
I was a sneaky kid, always opening the chocolate chips and sealing them back up etc…the year I was thirteen, I found my Christmas presents and opened them. But when I taped them back up I didn’t line the tape up as well as I usually did, and my mom realized what I’d done.
She came into the room and flung the gifts at me, made me open them again and told me her present on Christmas was watching us open our presents, and I ruined it for her. She was crying…and she never cried. She said I wasn’t getting anything else, only the presents I’d already opened.
Christmas morning came and I didn’t get anything else. Nothing. I watched everyone one else open their gifts. I didn’t sulk or say much of anything because I knew what I’d done and that I deserved it.
That taught me that there was also joy in giving, (the joy I took from my mother) and that there was a wonder in surprises. It was a great lesson that stayed with me my whole life. My mom was pretty smart.
For some reason, my mom needed to punish me and she made me read fables (multiple) over a summer and write essays about the morals of the stories. That was one of the most painful punishments to be doing school-type work over my summer and reading things I did not choose myself to read!
As a librarian and author, I don’t like punishments that make reading and writing seem unpleasant. My two cents.
I’ve never really been one to follow through and my girls know exactly how hard to push to get me to cave. BUT recently I’ve absolutely had it with my youngest. A 14 year old, bluehaired terror! We have had a trip to Hawaii planned for 3 months. In the last month, she has proclaimed that she is “tired of being an underprivileged child and wasn’t going to take it anymore”. My kids are spoiled and this was the shining beacon that said somethings had to change. When I attempted to take her iPhone, tablet, DS, laptop, and flat screen TV she became physical. I called the police and they came out and read her the riot act…the next day she went to her counselor at school and said she was abused which prompted a CPS visit. The CPS worker was professional and I’m sure she has seen real abuse, when she inspected out upscale kid oriented home, the video I took of my daughters massive tantrum and the police report, she told me to get drastic with her. That she was pushing and if I didn’t hold my ground now, she could be a kid at risk when she gets older. So, I told her she wasn’t going to Hawaii. She didn’t believe me until I invited her older sisters best friend in her place. She has been very subdued since that realization. She is now spending her spring break at her grandmas helping her with yard work while we are in sunny Maui. As much as I want my kids to have the world, I can’t help but think we are ‘giving’ too much and need to go back to teaching them to earn. Hold your ground Moms! It was over a $1000 to change her ticket! But I never said a word to her other than it was worth it.
My pre-teen had begun to develop a bad habit of slamming her bedroom door to express anger or frustration. My husband told her, “You slam that door one more time, and you’re gonna lose it.” She did. He calmly got a screwdriver, went upstairs, took it off the hinges, and said, “Privacy is something you’re going to have to earn.’ It took two days, but it took.
When we slammed doors, my mom would make us open the door gently, apologize to it, kiss it then shut it gently. We had to do this even in front of friends or guests. Rarely did slamming doors ever escalate to my dad having to remove it.
Some are cute, but none are as bad as what my mom did. We were going on a road trip from California to New York when I was around 10, and my sister and I were not the best at getting along. Well throughout the first few days of the trip, we got on each other’s nerves, so we would argue and scream at each other. Well my mom got fed up, told me to get out of the car at a rest stop and just drove off, leaving me in the middle of the US at a crappy rest stop, where I couldn’t see her. So after a minute, I started walking, not sure what to do, she finally drives back 10 minutes later, tells me to get in and warns me to not argue with my sister for the rest of the trip. Let’s just say I shut up for the rest of that trip.
When my brother was about 10 he was caught playing with matches and fire…..twice. The second time my mom packed a picnic lunch for us. Took us down to the local fire station which was on a triangular block with a small park area at the corner. The rest of us kids got to enjoy the park and food treats while my brother had to run around the block and continually yelling “I’m a bird, I’m a squirrel and I’m running from a fire”. He had to run many laps….until he was nearly ready to collapse. The firemen that were on duty at the station gave my mom an enthusiastic thumbs up. I will never forget that day almost 60 years ago now. Don’t think he ever was wreckless with fire after that, he did join the navy and became a firefighter.
This made me laugh out loud!
My daughter (then 8, now 17) was misbehaving. Having recently obtained a Neopet from McDonald’s happy meal, she became obsessed with it, like it was a very precious possession. She was warned several times to shape up by me & her dad, otherwise He was going to cut the prized Neopet in half. She didn’t shape up, the Neopet was decapitated. She definitely learned her lesson. It haunts her to this day. Follow through is EVERYTHING, folks!!!
I’m confused. How was she misbehaving? Were you and her dad simply irritated by the Neopet? If so, I feel like that was a really drastic decision.
I have two stories, both about punishments my mom has given to my brothers.
1. my parents were fairly strict when it came to what us kids were allowed to watch on tv. After numerous warnings about sneaking into the family room and watching shows they weren’t allowed too, my mom told my brothers that if she caught them again she would throw the tv out. They tested her and she followed through, literally throwing the tv out the front door onto the driveway, where it shattered. The really funny part is that my brother complained about it in school and, about 2 weeks later, she received a letter from Child Protective Services that she was “denying her children a lifestyle to which they had become accustomed to and one to which she could still afford” and that she had 10 days to replace the tv or they would be filing charges on her. She said she would see them in court; they never filed charges.
2. One of my brothers (I have 7, all older) was in a massive fight with my mom when he declared that he was going to call the cops and leave the home (he was about 13 at the time) if she didn’t let him do whatever it was he wanted to do. My mom promptly went into his room and packed up ALL his stuff into plastic bags, loaded all the kids up into the van, drove to the police station, unloaded all of his stuff in front of the station and told him to get out. By this time he was in hysterics and the rest of us were in “Bert the Turtle” mode (duck and cover). After about 15 minutes, she took everyone home, including my brother, and informed all of us kids that they would NEVER use that type of threat against her. None of us kids ever did again.
Oh, just remembered, my brother, the same one who threatened calling cops, started wetting the bed on purpose. My parents took him to doctors, specialist, psychologists and anyone else recommended to them to ensure that this was a behavioral problem rather than a medical one. After all the results came back that this was something he was doing on purpose, my mom bought the bulkiest, noisiest diaper that she could find and made him wear it to school under his normal jeans (he was about 13 again); he never wet the bed again.
Reading about the reaction of CPS to your mom’s throwing out the TV made my blood boil. Don’t let me get started on how I think everyone in CPS deserves a special place in hell. (I know a couple of people who were sexually abused in foster care by a *known*pedophile; the CPS people said it was not their job to do background checks on foster homes.) Good on your mom for standing her ground! I’d like to know what law says you *have* to provide a TV for your children.
A friend told me that her husband disciplined one of their daughters by not allowing the girl to go to a school dance. The kid complained to CPS, who called the cops and had the husband arrested. Yes, put in jail. Oh, he was let out after a few days, but CPS stood by their statement that not allowing a kid to go to a dance is child abuse.
In case I didn’t make it clear: I hate CPS workers.
Sometimes CPS workers need their heads examined. They called me once about my child’s diaper rash, after an over zealous daycare worker reported it. The daycare boss was livid that she did that and luckily was on our side. We considered suing both CPS and the daycare.
I wonder how many of these stories are about children who have legitimate cases of ADHD. Yes, it is a real disease, which can be detected in various tests such as MRIs, and which has been found to have a genetic component. You NEVER, EVER punish a child with ADHD for so-called bad behaviour because it doesn’t work, and they can’t help it. They aren’t choosing to misbehave, it’s messed up brain chemistry that’s causing it. Excuses such as “because I said so” or “because I’m the mom, that’s why” are lame and make zero sense… If you actually take the time to explain reasons that actually make sense (other than, you know, “I’m the adult and I want my arbitrary wishes obeyed because I had to do what I was told as a kid and now I’m going to inflict the same bullshit on my kids”, you will get MUCH better results. Or you could hit your kids, or give them nonsense reasons, and end up with a 40 year old son or daughter like me who still resents their parents for completely screwing up their child’s life to the point of no return.
I would say none of them, because it sounds like all of these kids learned from their punishment and didn’t repeat the behavior. And I don’t see where any of these parents were just wanting their arbitrary rules followed. They are all teaching their kids valuable lessons. I wish more parents would do the same.
I would say there’s definitely at least a few, if not more, judging from the behaviours displayed. I also see plenty of arbitrary rules. Lots of stuff that deserved an appropriate punishment (sadly not many of them were appropriate), but lots that didn’t.
You seriously think you can diagnose ADHD from a short paragraph or two?
WTF is wrong with you?
Nothing’s wrong with me, other than being surrounded by morons. But when you have ADHD yourself and you’ve done insane amounts of research on it, you start to be able to recognize it in others.
As an adult with ADHD (which I’ve had since childhood), wife of a man with ADHD, and the mother of a stepson with ADHD (yes, we’re the ADHD family), we know darn good and well the difference between what is an issue due to the chemical imbalance and what is just him wanting to be a pain in the tuchus. You cannot blame EVERY bad behavior and every time you act out on the disease, although it is such a fun and convenient excuse, isn’t it? To say “You NEVER, EVER punish a child with ADHD for so-called bad behaviour because it doesn’t work, and they can’t help it” is a crock of… well, it’s misguided. We’ll say that. There are times when people with ADHD ARE “choosing to misbehave” and times when they are just bored and acting out and there IS a difference and our son was punished when he DELIBERATELY misbehaved. He had the diagnosis at a young age and had a ‘plan’ at school so the teachers knew how to deal with any issues, but there were also times that had NOTHING to do with a chemical imbalance and EVERYTHING to do with his being a rotten little brat (at times) and well deserving of punishment. You’re delusional if you think that ADHD is some sort of “get out of jail free” card and people with the disease have NO CONTROL over their behaviour. Please. It is more difficult with ADHD to control those impulses, as I well know, but it IS something that you CAN learn to do and to use it as an excuse to misbehave is a cop-out. My son deliberately stole an ATM card from a classmate with developmental issues and got that sweet, trusting, young man to share his PIN with him so that he could then withdraw money and go on a spending spree at the game store and the convenience store; that was NOT his ADHD. The parents of that boy were trying to give him some sense of independence but he was not good with money, so they gave him the card in order to allow him to go to the convenience store on his way to his after-school program. They only put in about $50/week and kept an eye on it daily so he didn’t overdraw, which is how they noticed it empty on a Monday, asked him about it, and found out that he had given it to my son, along with the PIN. Given that we were overseas with the military and my son was a minor, we couldn’t exactly have him put in juvenile detention and the local police had no jurisdiction on base, so we had to be creative with punishment. He had to do extra chores around the house to earn money, which he then had to repay to the other young man AND he was picked up immediately after school and brought home (off base) as opposed to allowed to stay on base and hang out with his friends, (essentially grounded), for a month.
My son has (diagnosed by Drs) ADHD, and he was one that ONLY understood consequences by either physical (spankings) or losing his allowance (when we had the money for allowances). Things were calmly explained to him (usually after a calm down moment for us adults) as to why his behavior wasn’t acceptable or appropriate. He was then given time to think it over and ask pertinent questions about what he did/didn’t do and the consequences coming to him. He admitted (at age 5) that no other consequences fazed him as they didn’t matter & he would be fine (no electronics or games, no snacks/treats, no playing with friends, doing extra chores, & so on).
He is 19 now and 6’5″. His last butt whooping happened when he was 16 & 5’11”.
Even now he admits being spanked and losing money are all that ever bothered him & kept him in line.
Actually, I have ADHD myself, and yes, diagnosed by psychiatrists. And yes I know, saying never ever punish them is a little bit of an over-generalization. But the point that “traditional” punishments don’t generally work on kids with ADHD stands. As the poster above me stated, the only thing that worked on her son was being spanked and losing money, and since spanking is child abuse… well, you should be able to see where I’m going with this.
As the parent of a child with ADHD, I’ll tell you right now that you are way off base. ADHD has to do with attention and impulse control, not disrespectful, harmful, or destructive behavior. Nor does anything I’ve read here back up your allegations of “because I said so” or “I’m going to inflict the same bullshit on my kids”. Sounds like maybe you were misdiagnosed or not diagnosed as a kid and have anger and resentment as a result. You should know that it’s possible to get a diagnosis and treatment and improve your life even if not treated until you are an adult. I wish you the best.
I have a few my parents did (I don’t have children). My Mum always said, “I don’t make threats, I make promises.”
As a teenager, I slammed my door once too many for my Dad, he took it off the hinges for a month. I haven’t slammed a door since (I’m 47).
My father got fed up with my sister being glued to the TV from the time she got home from school until he pried her away at dinner time – no homework or chores got done. So, he built a wooden box that went around the power plug in with a padlock on it. She only got to watch TV when he was home and felt like unlocking it.
I can remember my mother deserting a cart full of groceries because we wouldn’t stop bugging her to buy things that weren’t on her list. She was pissed, because she was going to have to spend another evening doing groceries.
As soon as my Mum got quieter and enunciated every word, we knew we were in deep poop. She never yelled. Ever.
Oh I love your Mom’s way of not yelling but get quieter and enunciate words. I know following through is the key but raising my voice is my downfall I want to change. And I will try this though it will be very hard with kids with selective hearing.
I was having a huge problem with my kids being cruel to each other over the course of several weeks. I had tried reasoning with them, timeouts, grounding them…nothing worked. So finally, I told them to scrub the toilet with their toothbrushes. I then told them that since their mouths were so full of filthy words toward each other, they shouldn’t have a problem brushing their teeth with filthy toothbrushes. What they didn’t know was that when they weren’t looking, I swapped the toothbrushes out with identical ones. When they were done gagging and brushing, I told them they’d better think long and hard about the words they choose to say to each other because the toilet always needs a good cleaning. Needless to say, they were very kind after that! They are all teenagers now, and to this day talk about that incident. They tell me it’s what made them realize that, once they were forced to be nice, they actually do like each other!
one night after a fight with my sister while my girlfriend was staying over while i was still 18, 19, living at home i stormed out in anger and when i came back the house was locked in my blind anger i had forgotten my key… i was out there all night until my mom woke up at 5:00
On the way to see my grandparents, my cousin and I fought the whole way (35 kilometres), with my mother threatening to put us in the boot (trunk) if we kept it up. We started doing the same thing on the way home, and she pulled over on State Highway 1 (runs the length of New Zealand) and tried to stuff a 5 and 6 year old into the back of her car.
There was much screaming, wailing and thrashing from both of us, and I distinctly remember so many cars driving past and honking and waving at her!
We never fought with each other in the car again!
You mentioned New Zealand; from my understanding, there’s a law against corporal punishment (hitting of ANY kind), so that may have been the only option your mum may have had.
isnt that child abuse?
Before I was adopted I was forced to visit my birth mother. Every time I did something she thought was wrong (such as not eating with utensils as a baby or coughing while she was on the phone) she would beat my ass. Once I begged to keep one of the puppies our dog had just had and the psycho threw the dishes she was cleaning at me. I told her I hated her, that made my punishments worse. I still do hate her. However I have had spankings for being a little shit to my grandparents. Let’s just say we had a lack of wooden spoons and paint stir sticks when I was being a little shit. I have worked with developmentally disabled children and have followed through on what I say I’m going to do. I babysit my cousin’s kids every now and then and her middle child is a pain in the ass most days. Even his mother agrees. Once he hit another child with his lightsaber (and on top of that he lied and said he didn’t do it) and I was told to take it away and if he wouldn’t go to bed willingly that I had permission to smack his bottom. I do not hit kids, however if I did have kids and they were being little shits they would get spankings. I know the difference between a spanking cause the kid is being a little douchebag and being beaten for asinine reasons. If I acted the way kids now act to my grandmother she would have knocked me so far into the future that nothing would exist anymore. Kids these days are spoiled and time outs do not do jack shit. I worked at a daycare and once the parent blamed everyone at the daycare cause her son acted like a little shit every day and got time outs. He was about 4 or 5, and that was back in 2011 so I’m hoping he outgrew that phase. I also hope his sister got the help she needed. The girl was a premmie, totally adorable, but she was at the age where she should have been walking and she couldn’t even crawl. The mother said nothing was wrong with her too. Once the girl came in and had pink eye and a fever, mom was pissed that we told her to take her kid to a doctor, she did and brought her back, contagious as hell.
This is ten years ago now, but my fourteen year old son had developed a habit of stealing when he wanted something and I had noticed some of my DVDs going missing, two or three at a time. None of the movies his father watched, just mine. My husband thought I was confused and they were movies I had rented, not bought, but finally a movie went missing that he had seen me purchase and we searched the son’s room. Nothing. After some questioning, it came out that more than two dozen movies (back when DVDs cost about $20 apiece) had been smuggled, two or three at a time, to school in his backpack and sold so he could get junk at the convenience store after school. He thought he’d be grounded for life, but I told him that he wasn’t grounded at all and he should go hang out with his friends… while I packed up the two game systems and the box of games his brother had given to him when he joined the military. He asked “How long are you keeping those?” and I replied “I’m not ‘keeping’ them. I’m taking them to the Thrift Store and selling them so I can use the money to replace the movies you stole from me.” After a moment of shock, he screamed “You can’t take those! They’re MINE! You can’t just SELL MY STUFF!” and I looked at him and said “Why not? That’s what YOU did and at least I’m not lying to you about it or sneaking around.” and he thought about that for a minute, then said “You won’t really sell them. You’ll just hide them from me. You’re not that mean.” Oh, really? Well, he went with me to the Thrift Shop and watched as I turned them in and gave them my information to call when they had been sold (on consignment) so I could come and get the money. I even made him carry one box in. Never questioned me as to whether or not I meant what I said again.
I was lucky to have a daughter who rarely misbehaved. A five minute time out in her room was sufficient. She was never spanked and grounded only once. She was 13, her father and I had been divorced about two years, and she started to learn to play one parent off the other. If dad said no, she would ask mom not mentioning dad’s response and vice versa. After that, my ex would always call me for my opinion in front of her, ending that behavior. One day her father heard her using foul language with a friend while at his home. When confronted later, she admitted that she did that at school on occasion when she was with that friend. He grounded her for a week. I picked her up from school a couple of days later and she sassily said in front of the friend I’m going to mom’s so grounding is over for a few days. To her surprise, I called her dad, learned the reasons for grounding, and I continued the grounding at my home, extending it over the next weekend. Lesson learned for her, and her friend. We didn’t want to ground her from this particular friend since the girl was having so many parent troubles of her own and encouraged our daughter to be a better example for her. Now grown-up, she’s in grad school for mental health counseling focusing on adolescents. When I asked her if she chose this field because things were so hard for her growing up with divorced parents. She said no, because things were so good for her and she knew other kids in the same situation did not have it so easy. It would be easy to take credit for her choices however, her 10 years older brother had similar parenting, and there’s not enough space on the Internet to cover all of the creative punishments we tried to work out for him.
Ironically the best way I found to change the behavior of acting out, Refusing to help with anything, and refusing to listen to me at all from my oldest teenage daughter (14 going on 15 at the time) came over the summer last year. She wanted to go to New York City with her drama club and I told her in order to do so, she needed a job because it was an expensive trip I could not afford. So she went to work with my at a local amusement park for the whole summer. One day after coming home and finding that yet again house chores had not been done by her younger siblings and that yet again we would have to do all the cleaning after having worked a full day of customer service she finally turned to me and said “mom I understand why you ask us to help out now. This SUCKS having to work, then come home and work!” needless to say, she doesn’t fight me about chores around the house anymore.
When I was eight or nine, on the way home from an early November swimming class, my parents asked me how it had gone. I answered them with a series of implausibly tall tales (lies) about my feats, which they accepted wordlessly. When we got home, they led me inside as though nothing was wrong, then my mother handed me a green garbage bag and told me to put all of my Hallowe’en candy – two very large grocery bags’ worth – into it, one handful at a time. I wasn’t allowed to dump them, I had to carry my treats from one side of the room to the other in handfuls so I could get a good look at what I was throwing out on each trip. I asked them if I could save small amounts of favourite bits, and I deliberately left the ones I liked most at the bottom of the bag hoping for mercy, but it never came. All of my candy ended up in the garbage bag. She then told me to dump the half-full kitchen garbage, which was full of cut meats and bathroom trash and other very inedible things – into the candy bag, twist-tie it shut, and put it in the garbage area. And through it all, she never once spelled out for me what I was in trouble for. Once I figured it out, that was it for the fibbing for good.
I’m the disciplinarian in my household. I once took all the toys and books out of my son’s room and boxed them up in the attic. He had to earn them back one at a time. Another time my oldest son and I had plans to go to the Cinderella movie with some other friends and their children. He wouldn’t stop back talking so I kept him home with his dad and went to the movie without him. Spankings don’t work with this child, but take away something he likes or wants to do, and it teaches him about consequences.
Some of these in the blog are hilarious, some very well thought out. A lot of the ones in the comments are downright scary and physically and or mentally abusive. But enough on that.
My son, actually stepson, at age 3, had every single toy out of his toy box and on the floor. In the past he would help me pick them up, but there were never that many on the floor before. So this time I told him he needed to pick up his toys and left his room to make dinner. I came back and now the room was a bigger mess because he had started taking some apart instead of putting them away. So, I told him he had better start picking up the toys or I would throw them away. He threw a toy at me and told me he didn’t have to do what I told him to do because I wasn’t the boss of him. So I gave him one last chance and said If I have to pick up your toys, I will throw them in the trash. He then said I don’t have to do what you tell me to you B I T C H. Yes he spelled it out. I went into the kitchen and got the trash can and brought it into his room, before I got a chance to pick up a single toy, he grabbed the can, started bawling his head off and began picking up the toys and throwing them in the can himself. With every toy he said, “I naughty, I throw away.” Then it just became, ” throw away.”. After he cleaned his room and we had dinner I asked him if he knew what B I T C H meant (yes, I spelled it to him) When he said no, I told him to never use words like that if he didn’t know their meaning. Then I asked where he had heard it and he told me his mother said it every time she hung up the phone after talking to me.
I did go through the trash can after he went to bed and pulled out all the salvageable toys, some were too damaged after he took them apart. I ran them through the dishwasher to be sure they were clean. After he went back home to his mother’s, I unloaded the toys back into his toy box, sorting out the ones I knew he no longer played with or was too old for to donate to Goodwill. He never gave me lip about putting his toys away again and I never had to help him do it again. He only took out what he wanted to play with and put it back before taking out another and his floor was clean every night before he went to bed. I just wish that had stuck, because at 28, his room is an absolute pigsty.
When I was about 9 – 10 years old, I was playing a game at Sam’s Club, and my dad kept telling me to stop or he was going to leave me. I called, what I thought was, his bluff, and he actually left me there. It backfired on him though because I walked roughly 4 miles to my grandpa’s house, and scared the crap out of my parents when they came back to get me. Taught my dad never to threaten me like that again. On a side note, I was usually not this defiant as a child, so this was an exception, not the rule.
I took my 3 sons to hit golf balls with me and the youngest wouldn’t stop running in when his brothers were taking their turns. I repeatedly told him to stop or he wouldn’t get ice cream when we were done (which is part of our tradition). He kept acting up, so we ate our ice cream while he watched us. He now manages to stay in control of himself fairly well. 🙂
My mom was the disciplinarian of our family. I had 4 sisters, and we were all about 2 years apart, and all typical brats. She and Dad quickly tired of trying to figure out who did what and so she gathered us together one day, told us since they didn’t know who did something they shouldn’t, she’d just spank all of us. We learned the power of peer pressure swiftly after she actually did, because with five daughters, she didn’t see why she should make her hand sore using it alone when a few licks with her husband’s belt on our butts made her point much more clear and memorable. The next time one of started doing something she shouldn’t, the other 4 would announce they weren’t taking another spanking for her and put a stop to it themselves. Being sisters, the punishment was a lot tougher than anything my mom would do and immediate. We became amazingly well behaved. Abused by the belt? Please. We didn’t even get bruised. We did learn we could trust our parents to mean what they said and that there were consequences to our actions. I knew a 4 year old once who had no respect for his mother at all and ignored everything she told him. My sister and I, who often babysat him, would simply whack his bottom a lick or two when he pulled it on us. His mother thought that was wrong until the day he refused to get out of the middle of the road that ran in front of their house when she ordered him to and nearly got run over by a dump truck. My sisters and I never worried about explaining to a kid why they were expected to do as they were told. You teach a child to obey without argument or explanation from day one, because one day you will not have time to do either when they are in danger. There will be time later for both if you did your job right and they don’t lose their life. I don’t mind spanking a child, especially if I have seen them ignore other punishments, but I rarely do so. I took my two year old niece to the grocery store once. Her mother said she could have either a small piece of candy or a small drink when we were leaving. I asked her which she wanted as we came up to the checkout, and being a normal two year old, she declared she wanted both. When I told her she could only have one, she started that ear shattering air raid siren buildup as all the adults within earshot cringed. I just looked at her and said calmly, “Don’t bother making that noise. I am not impressed. If you keep it up, you won’t get either one.” She immediately fell silent and quietly asked for the drink. The clerk checking me out leaned over and whispered, “How did you DO that?” It was easy, because even at two, she already knew I always followed through, and throwing a tantrum with me just earned her a swat on the bottom. Once a child knows that you always follow through, they know they can trust you, and that is very reassuring to them. I know this because they have told me. Children rarely give me any trouble. I once had to babysit on no notice at all an 8 to 10 year old who all his family members, parents, relatives and family friends agreed was a little monster, and expressed abject apologies for leaving him to me in an emergency. I was babysitting his two younger cousins. He was astonished that I never took my eyes off the three of them and called him out every time he started to bully them. He acted as though he had never had an adult pay any attention to him before. After a busy morning playing in the yard and then lunch, I told the kids to lay down on a blanket on the living room floor while I sat in a chair. They immediately denied needing a nap. I told them they didn’t have to nap, just lay quietly with the cartoons on so I could rest for a bit. Of course the two youngest were asleep in about five minutes. This child went to the bathroom and afterward stood in the doorway looking at the three of us almost in wonder. I pretended not to see him, and continued pretending out of curiosity as he began to edge slowly closer to my chair. Instinct and perhaps years of handling stray animals had me continuing to pretend as he eased onto the arm of the chair, then onto my lap as I moved my arm around his back, never looking at him. In moments he was curled in a fetal position in my lap, head under my chin, and thumb in his mouth. He sucked his thumb silently for an hour as his cousins slept and I slowly stroked his back. Once the two younger children woke, he swiftly climbed out of my lap. He and I never said a word to each other about it, but he never gave me another moment’s trouble the whole time I knew him. It broke my heart to realize he was so desperate for a kind touch that he would even try to sneak it from a stranger. Children, like adults, are all different. Some you only have to look at with a raised eyebrow, some only understand physical consequences. Some are only affected by being embarrassed in front of their peers. Discipline is the demonstration of consequences for actions. Abuse is the infliction of pain, whether physical, verbal, or other, without cause or care for the victims’ feelings, health, or property. There’s a huge difference, and children know it. My mother once babysat her nephew, and instead of spanking him since he wasn’t her child, she would send him to his bedroom, no toys, no tv, no music, no NOTHING, for at least a couple of hours. After a few times, he came back in and asked to please just spank him so the punishment would be over. She told him she didn’t like spanking because it hurt her hand. He decided for himself that just behaving would keep him out of his bedroom, so he didn’t give her any more trouble. I’ve always admired her ability to read a child’s mind. She’s never been wrong. Her grandchildren and now her great grandchildren are being raised the same way she raised us, and it seems to be working just fine.
Those teenagers of today obviously have no respect for authority and their elders and their parents don’t care what they do……….by the time their parents start caring about their responsibilities and their kids it’s already too late as their kids are either charged as an adult with serious crimes ranging from violating curfew all the way to capital murder charges or their kids are in the morgue…….we need to bring back the belts and the switches that are used for corporal punishments.
Funny you should say that considering that over 90% of prison inmates have been spanked as kids.
HOW SEXUALLY PERVERTED OF YOU TO WISH B.D.S.MY. TO BE INFLICTED ON A SMALL CHILD!!
THIS IS MUCH, MUCH WORSE THAN IF YOU MOLESTED THEM!!!!
Some of these are fine examples of parenting. Some of these are downright horrible and should be written up in a textbook for actual mental abuse. Wow.
When my oldest daughter was in high school, she broke curfew and got the expected punishment: she was 15 minutes late, so the next time she had to be home 30 minutes early. If she was late again, she was grounded for a week. She was late again, I grounded her for a week, even though that was prom weekend. She sobbed that her boyfriend already paid for the tickets and I said, “Well, I guess he’s going to be pretty mad at you then!” She never missed another curfew.
When I was a kid, we had HoHos for dinner. I think the box held 24. Each of us had one. I wanted a second one, and made a nuisance of myself about it. Finally, my father said I could have another one, but I had to finish the whole box. I was crying towards the end, and I never pulled anything like that again.
My 7 year old stepdaughters had been giving us problems for about a week… general disobedience, mouthiness, getting into food, hiding food, etc. We kept threatening that if they kept it up, they wouldn’t be able to go to a birthday party they had coming up that weekend, during which time they’d also get to see their mom. Friday morning as I was leaving for work, one of them asked if they could have “kid coffee” and I said no, no coffee, it was for their older brother, who was watching them while their dad and I were both at work.
A couple hours later I got a text from my stepson that while he was in the bathroom, they decided to help themselves to the coffee anyway. So they weren’t allowed to go to the party.
They were still picked up as usual on Sunday, by their mom, but they didn’t see her until then.
They have been much better behaved since then, lol.
I have been in several different positions involving Criminal Justice and Psychology. Our jails would have fewer inmates if parents disciplined their children. I spanked mine while they were in diapers (which means they didn’t actually feel anything) they are now 13 and 11 and I haven’t had to lay a hand on them since they potty trained. Why? Because I’m the parent and I’m in charge. They know that and we have no problems. Straight A students. Polite in public, and VERY caring individuals. The spanking did no physical or psychological damage.
You’re clearly incompetent at schooling and parenting. More than 90% of prison inmates have been spanked as kids. And “because I’m the parent and I’m in charge” only proves that you have some sort of superiority complex.
You uncovered a VERY BIG problem here; TOO FEW people know the difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline can be performed WITHOUT punishment; however, punishment can NOT be conducted without discipline.
Furthermore, you MUST come to the understanding that the VAST MAJORITY of criminals suffered corporal punishment as children!!
I work nightshift so I tend to be the person friends call if their children get sent home from school. It has become my policy that any child sent home due to misbehavior is my maid for the day. They scrub toilets, clean floors, fold laundry, wash dishes, and whatever else I can find for them. After a couple of times they usually learn that behaving in school is a lot easier than coming to my house.
LOL I LOVE that idea! i will promptly pass it on to parents I know whose children are regularly sent home from school!
It was the 70’s. I was the youngest of four kids and I can remember the time my mother went on strike. I was probably about five at the time. Mom was fed up with having to pick up after everybody else and with being responsible for all the household work. In my own mind I feel like the whole thing went on for a month. It seemed like forever, but it probably wasn’t more than a week. It worked though. My sister, who was the oldest at about 14 made a rotating schedule for washing dishes, drying dishes (no dishwasher in our house), setting the table, and clearing the table so that we all had a chore to do every day. I loved it when I got to wash the dishes. That is not a job I would normally have been trusted with at such a young age. We stuck to the schedule for a couple of years at least and when individual activities and such made a strict schedule impossible we were all pretty good about helping out, even if we sometimes had to be asked to do it. I always wondered though, if the strike was supposed to be a punishment for my dad too since Mom literally did none of the obvious work around the house and it wasn’t like it had been a planned thing. Mom just threw up her hands in exasperation one day and said “I’m going on Strike!” And Dad had to cook supper for us all and do all kinds of other things himself every day of it.
I also remember the day that Mom said if the Lego didn’t get cleaned up right away she was going to throw it away. She did too. But I also remember her picking it out of the garbage piece by piece the next morning. I think the remorse came from the fact that Lego isn’t exactly cheap and it really did occupy us for hours on end.
When my kids were young teenagers, I told them if they continued fighting over the XBOX I would take it to work with me so they couldn’t play it the next day while I was at work. Needless to say they continued fighting, do the next day when I went to work I took all the cords and controllers to work with me. They still had the XBOX but no way to play it.
That stopped the fighting over it. ????
My mother was pretty creative when it came to punishing my little brother and I. We fought a LOT when we were young. One day we were at each other’s throats in a big way, and I was the aggressor. She told me to be nice but I did not comply. She made me sit at the edge of our driveway with a sign that said “I <3 my little brother" and hug him every time a car went by.
Like most kids, our rooms were hideous. We were told to clean several times but kept playing instead. We were threatened that she would give all of our toys away, we laughed at her and made faces. The next afternoon when she collected us at the bus stop she had a box with her that was full of the toys we had left out. She let all of the neighborhood children have their pick of OUR stuff right in front of our faces. We traded other things we had with our friends to get some of our favorite stuff back later, but it was still quite a shocking experience.
Probably the most memorable punishment of all was the McDonald's incident. We were acting like little jerks in the grocery store and begging for Happy Meals nonstop. She told us if we behaved we could stop and get them on the way home. We continued to act up, as usual. When we left she told us we weren't getting the meals, so we screamed and carried on in the car. We THOUGHT she had caved in when she pulled into the drive through and ordered the his and hers meals…but it was only a clever trick to keep us quiet. Once we were home, she made two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for us and then ate both of the happy meals while we watched in horror. Then we both cried while we watched her gleefully play with her toys at the table before bath and bedtime. We were little saints at the grocery store after that.
My son, an avid 10 year old hockey goalie on a travelling team had to phone his coach and say he could not come to hockey because his room was not clean or tidy. Not only were they missing a goalie, the coach tore a strip off him, and the rest of the team were annoyed that he wasn’t there. Lesson learned very quickly
My mom was horrible at follow through until she realized she had 2 kids that needed opposite punishments. When we were teens, she figured out what the ultimate punishments were. For me it was forced time sitting between my dad and sister w/o a book or the TV remote. For my sister it was room restriction. To this day I still have a book on me wherever I’m at and my sister hates solitude.
Spank or don’t spank don’t matter..what matters is that you teach your children to be respectful to others and that there are consequences when not. The debate of spanking or not will always be there.. don’t beat your children if u decide to spank.if you don’t spank ok but teach them they will have to pay for what they did..good luck..
I cancel play dates often for ill behavior or not finishing chores. And he’s currently on an undetermined hiatus from the ipad. But the one thing that gets him right now are the Pokemon cards. He has about 200 currently. If he is disrespectful or blatantly doesn’t try at this club sport, he has to physically throw away 1-2 cards. This kills him. Needless to say, we’ve only had to throw away 4. I’m now going to flip it and allow him to earn them back. He also earns computer and tv time with chores.
So my brother had made my mom cry one time (I dont really remember why something with him being really mean to her or something he just had this really mean angry phase) Well mom grounded him and sent him to his room. When my dad got home and heard about it he went up to my brothers room. My dad told him to go apologiese to my mom. My brother refused. My dad told him if he didnt go downstairs and apologiese he would smash my brothers computer by throwing it out the window. My brother again refused and added something about my mom being a bitch. I think the swear word really pushed my dad to follow through with the threat. My brother ended up apologiesing but he did not get another computer until he could pay for one himself.
Also to add insult to injury my brother had to go clean up the broken computer.
Not my parents, but one time one of my uncles was babysitting my brother and I and I started misbehaving. As a punishment, my uncle put me in time out in my room, without my toys. I did not like it, so I threw a massive temper tantrum, slamming the door, banging on it, and screaming like a banshee.
So my uncle decided to start banging on the door from the other side and scream like a banshee too.
I stopped screaming, opened the door, and my little sassy 6 years old self asked him if he had gone crazy.
Needless to say, I never threw another tantrum like that one because he made me realise even at that age how ridiculous I was being.
When my younger brother was around the 8th grade, he applied to various boarding schools in the New England area. He was very fortunate to get into one of them with a full scholarship. While this was awesome news (my mom was secretly looking forward to having more time to herself), she began to notice that my brother saw this as license to relax and majorly skimp on his schoolwork. There was one project in particularly that he was supposed to be working on over the entire school year, and three days before his scheduled presentation, she and my step-dad had him deliver his work to gauge was was going on. It was a complete and utter disaster, and there was no way he’d be able to pull something decent together (he ended up with something like a D on the whole project). To my brother’s complete shock, my mom and step-dad let him know right after that there was no way they would let him attend the boarding school after completing such horrible work. This decision cost my parents a significant amount of time and money (the school he was attending was around $5000 a year and was a 40 minute drive away, just one way), but they knew my brother would never learn the value of hard work otherwise. The next year when he re-applied, he wasn’t awarded a full scholarship anywhere. Needless to say he’s definitely learned his lesson! He is incredibly hard-working and doesn’t take anything for granted. I greatly admire my mom and step-dad for following through on such a huge matter.
When my youngest was 4 he always screwed around instead of getting dressed in the mornings. I always threatened that I would take him to pre-school in whatever he was wearing when it was time to leave. One day I finally followed through with the threat. He went to school that day in underwear and shoes. I did take a bag of clothes to give to his teacher so she could dress him when she saw fit. I also got high fives from the teachers and the director of the school. I even took a picture of my son to commemorate the occasion. He’s almost 9 and whenever he decides to screw around in the morning I show him the picture and he gets dressed really fast.
Two incidents come to mind for my son. Once when He was about five he was standing behind the chair I was sitting in flicking me in the back of the head. Not a particularly bad thing but annoying. I told him if he didn’t stop I would tickle him until he wet him self. Next thing he new he was pinned to the floor with soggy pants. The other incident occurred when my son was about 11 or 12. He had gone to bed but did not pick up his dirty laundry after showering. He had only been in bed for about 15 minutes so I went down to his room and told him to get out of bed and go pick up his laundry. He argued with me for a while until I told him if he didn’t get out of his bed willing and go pick up his laundry that I would drag his little butt out of the top bunk, carry him up to the bathroom put the laundry in his hand, then carry him to the hamper and make him put it in the hamper. He said I couldn’t/wouldn’t so I did. From that point on he has never tested the limits of my patients (to much).
When I was younger, my dad tickled me until I wet my pants. It wasn’t a punishment, he just thought it was funny. To this day, I don’t like being tickled. My now husband would try to tickle me when we were dating, and it always ended up in an argument. I think it was a pretty shitty thing for you to do to your son.
I LOVE using tickling to punish my little boy (6 years old). It really gets him to stop whatever he was doing!
My family pretty much all live on the same street and when my boy needs a tickling, I invite all if my sisters over and we tickle him until he goes mad. His pants are always completely soaked when we’re done. Lol
Yes, I agree that tickling is VERY effectie method how to keep him in line. But it is also quite cruel and torturous, especially if he is pinned and helpless agains his attackers. For sure it is very hard to build any kind of resistance or defense against tickling in the time. But remember – it is real TORTURE, so give him breaks often during sessions and don’t make it last too long. Lol
Yeah tickling can be super mean. Especially if you make the victim pee himself. I also feel that as a guy getting tickled can be extra humiliating. I say this from experience as a guy who got pinned down by his dad and grandpa on his own 16th birthday and then had his worst spots tickled till i wet myself. But since then i havent been cocky around them because they always remind me that they could do it again so i guess it works xD
Just to weigh in on the spanking thing. It messed me up in ways I’d rather not detail here.
But I will say that I’ve never forgiven my parents. And I’m a fully grown adult.
I agree completely. I have been battling depression and lack of confidence my entire life (I am 65) because of the physical and verbal abuse I endured. My parents died several years ago, and I hope they are both rotting in hell. I never raised a hand to my two kids, now grown, and we have a good relationship.
I cured my stepsons (13 & 15) of ignoring me when I called them for dinner or anything similar. They are usually both firmly ensconced in front of their various devices and far too busy to take any notice of me. I felt horrible that I had to compete with the Internet for attention, then realised that none of the devices will work if you pull the plug on the modem. The first time I did it they emerged from their rooms, blinking in the light, demanding to know what was wrong with the Internet. When they found out “nothing” and that I’d pulled the plug they couldn’t believe it! The horror! The horror! These days when I call them, they pay attention.
Told my kid to get his grades up, get his license, and quit being a jerk to his mother and me, or we’d sell the new car we had just bought him. He did none of the requested actions. He came home from school one day and asked where his car was. Asked him what his grades were…he mumbled. Asked him about his license. He said he would get it that summer. Then, I told him he was still treating his mother and me poorly. Car was sold while he was at school. Lost $8k on the car, but he knows when we ask him to do something, we mean it…
Two Christmases ago I threatened to cancel Christmas because my 8 year old son was acting very entitled and spoiled. I gave him so many warnings from October to early December. One day he claimed that he deserved a toy every time we went shopping. I was so angry with him that I pretend dialled the North Pole and left a message for Santa. I said, “You’ve been watching Sylas all year long so I’m sure it will come as no surprise to you when I say that you need to skip our place this year. Hopefully we can bake you cookies next year. Be safe out there, Santa.” I pretend hung up and immediately began coming up with a letter to my son telling him the importance of appreciation and humility.
We didn’t celebrate Christmas or decorate. Sy got Christmas morning and saw the letter from Santa. He framed it and hung out on his bedroom wall so he never forgets.
This is a good one but I dont know any 8 year old who believe in Santa.
Once when I was about 12, It was my birthday and I was upset that I didn’t get a gift that I wanted, so I was being bratty and not cutting cake for anyone but myself. My dad said If I can’t have any, nobody can! and threw the whole thing out. I cried for a long time.
My mom was scary creative with punishments and never made threats, but promises. If she said she’d throw everything away if one of our bedrooms wasn’t clean, she would. One Christmas, she found out that my sisters had gone snooping and found their presents, so she switched what they got. Imagine their indignation when they saw the other one open the thing they wanted. Once or twice, she put a sticker on the wall in the corner, just above nose level, and made us stand on our toes to touch our nose to it for ten minutes. When my sister started getting really picky about eating, she made all of her meals with peanut butter. She told us that groundhogs ate children who went outside after dark. I also remember waking up one morning to my mom supervising my older sister at the kitchen table as she read and took notes on the works of Edgar Allen Poe because she snuck off to meet a stranger she had met online.
My parents made me call Santa and tell him how I didn’t deserve presents because I disobeyed my grandmother. Our garden had grape vines that, in the rain, amass large puddles around the stems. I snuck out for s bit of puddle jumping. My new duck boots got lost in the red mud and I was caked with it. She was the one to go out in the rain, dig out the boots, and clean red mud off of me and all my clothes.
reminds me of my childhood reading these stories…
My aunt received a toy key chain and gave it to me. She did not say that it was supposed to be shared with my brother. I was going to hook it up to my backpack when my brother stole it, claiming she also gave it to him. My father got mad at our noise and throw all of our toys right on the spot. How are you suppose to share a key chain anyway??
All very entertaining ideas! And even more entertaining to read! 🙂
I will never forget driving somewhere with my 3 & 5 year old girls, they had a balloon and continued to bat it back and forth between them. It came in the front at my head a few times and I told them to hold the balloon down that it was distracting me and they could play with it when we got home. Needless to say, I “warned” them several times and of course they couldn’t control themselves. I get that balloons are fun and they are children, but they need to get that a moving vehicle is not a playground. That dang balloon came in the front again and before I could even think, I snatched it, bit a hole in it, and tossed that deflated sad little balloon over my shoulder right back at them. My 5 year old sat there with a look of total disbelief and my 3 year old screamed like a banshee, boy did she scream! Needless to say, for several months whenever they started acting out in the car, I reminded them of “the balloon incident”. They are now 8 & 11 and they don’t dare goof off in a car. I have finally gotten them to understand that cars are not playgrounds and that in order to get them safely to and from places, I (or whoever is driving them) needs to focus on driving and everything else can wait!
Good one!
I have pulled over when I get the “I’m bored” and made them pick up trash off the side of the road. I said if your that bored then here’s something to do! They don’t say their bored anymore lol!
I love this one.
*you’re *they’re
I’ve got two. Both from my teenage years. The first happened when I was feeling smarter than the world and was upset with what my mom had told me. I stormed down the hallway and slammed my door shut. She had warned me about slamming the door before. The next day when I got home from school there was no door on the hinges to my bedroom. At 15 to have that privacy taken away I was devastated, it took two weeks to get my door back, and I never slammed it again.
The second came from my teenage “forgetfulness” which was really just I didn’t want to. I had “forgotten” to take the garbage out to the curb three weeks in a row and now it was overflowing with bags. One day I called my mom to ask permission for some girlfriends to come hang out after school, she told me sure no problem, honey. But when I got home with my friends every last bag of garbage was piled in the middle of my bedroom floor.
My mom was a genius at making sure the punishment fit the crime. She also liked to buy me magnet “presents” as reminders of when I had gone wrong and had to be corrected. Those were the worst, because I’d get excited about a gift and then the gift was a reminder. A major bummer, but majorly effective.
Did anyone hear about the mother who made the kids walk behind her car to school for missing the bus and has been charged with child neglect?
My parents spanked us hard, usually with a belt on the bare bottom. But the ultimate punishment was having to take off all your clothes and get whipped naked with the belt. These naked whippings seemed to hurt so much more, even though you’re still getting spanked on bare skin either way. It just made you feel so vulnerable. I was always scared of getting spanked accidentally on my genitals. It never happened but these spankings were horrible anyway.
THAT WAS VERY GOOD FORM OF SEXUAL CHILD ABUSE!!
My little brother and I thought it was funny to pee outside – anywhere we got the urge. Well, one day we did it on our neighbors lawn and my mom didn’t think it was so funny. She ordered us to take our clothes off and then came at us with a flyswatter. (?) Normally she spanked with a belt so this was weird. This time however, she whipped us both very hard right on our bare penises. That stung like nothing else! She was so mad, she told us if it happened again she would use the belt and whip us until they fell off! Believe me, we never peed outside again. And I never got my bare private parts whipped again, thank goodness.
Wow! TWO examples of sexual child abuse back-to-back!!
I grew up in the USSR. Corporal punishment of children was banned by law. In fact we were easily controlled most of the time because we were always very group oriented, and the parents, teachers, and most of all the other kids would use psychological techniques to make us feel miserable if we stepped out of line. On the other hand, in some army units the discipline was quite brutal and lots of first-year solders got their ass kicked on a regular basis. So it was not a case of being soft. It was just the tradition in the Soviet Union that children should be loved and protected and that any adult who hit a child was a monster. I agree 100% and I am happy to see now in the USA how some parents and teachers are being punished for hitting their children. I have three boys and they are very well behaved because my wife and I teach them by example, we have lots of rules, and if they break the rules they get nothing from us but cold stares. If they want hugs and kisses they must behave themselves.
I was never spanked with a belt. However, when my parents were upset, they would usually make me pull down my pants. My father would than spank me over his knee in my underwear with my mother and sometimes even my sister present. The worst part about it was not the pain it was the embarrassment of being spanked this way. I probably got 4 or 5 spankings like that from ages 6 to 11. I realize some people think spanking is wrong. I disagree. I think sometimes a spanking does more to get a kid’s attention than any other form of discipline does. Dad never had to spank me for the same thing twice. I view it as an important part of my growing up.
How weird! Your dad has taught you that not only physical violence, but embarrassment is perfectly normal!!!!
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So I got hurt a few months ago and i haven’t been in the best shape. My dad for every grade (including assignments) below 93 in my honors classes makes me run down and back along the out skirts of a baseball field. I’ve been doing this for a few weeks and done over 200. after I do them my legs ache and he tells me to get over it and get stronger.
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My parents always locked me outside for being naughty, one time overnight. What did it do? Made me fear the outdoors.
My age is 14. Everyday i use to get hard spanking from my dad and mom. To decipline me my dad use to remove my uniform skirt and position me like my butt peep out. Then with a hard stick he use to strike on my butt for 30minutes non stoply. After i am untied i see my panty. It will be stored. My buttocks will be reddish. But since I am getting for many years it will never pain. Next my mother make me to wear a tight bra,banian inside school uniform and tight jeans.In evening when I play in swimming pool. On my wet buttocks and breast, i use to get hard hitting.that is to get perfect shape of breast and buttocks.All are pleasant experience s…
That is a bit much for discipline. It only takes a few seconds to convey your point. It is really just supposed to sting, and I am sure that humiliation fits in there somehow. Doing it too much just neutralizes the punishment. Like you said…after a few years, it quit hurting. The worst part of corporal punishment is the waiting. my mother was never very good with meting out corporal punishment, so she let my dad do it. She would send me to my room and tell me to wait until my dad got home. THAT was agony,,,sitting around with nothing more than my imagination. The punishment was actually the relief.
Hi men french spanker juste ok otk hand longt buttlook red ok
Our daughter started puberty just after age 12,and started wetting the bed every night.To be eco friendly we used cloth diapers and plastic pants[rubberpants] on her evry night.She wasnt overly happy about wearing them,but accepted them. Her bedwetting went on past 14 and her 8th grade confirmation was comming up.Per the parish dress code,all the girls had to wear a white,poofy,short sleeve,knee length dress with a veil,white tights and white mary jane shoes.The three weeks before,she had been acting up and lying and staying out past curfew,etc. For her punishment,we made her wear her bedwetting diapers and rubberpants under her white tights for the ceremony and her confirmation party.Word got around at her party that she had the diapers and rubberpants on under her tights and some of her friends and female cousins lifted up her dress and checked them out! She was quite embarrassed and we didnt have any more problems with her after that!
I’d like to meet some of these idiotic parents and treat them the same way they treated their kids.
same
I’d like to meet some of these idiotic parents and treat them the same way they treated their kids.