Getting gifts for a new mom is easy. They know nothing and they need EVERYTHING. Getting gifts for a mom having her second child? That’s a little tougher. They’ve already got all the necessary gear, they don’t need or want any more toys and you probably can’t “wow” them with a newfangled baby product because they’ve been there, done that.
So what’s a lady going to a “sprinkle” to do?
(For those not in the know, a “sprinkle” is a “shower” for a mom who has already been around the block at least once. I just learned this myself.)
Instead of getting gifts for the baby, I recommend getting gifts with the mom in mind. The dad too, while you’re at it. You know what my sister decided is her new go-to gift for a second mom? MY BOOK. Yep, that’s right. “The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parents.” Because by the time you get to number two, you know “perfect parenting” is a big charade and we’d all be a lot happier if we didn’t pretend that raising kids was a piece of cake.
For this month’s swag bag, I partnered with Plum Organics to put together a “Second Baby Survival Kit” to get you through the newborn phase AGAIN. Plum Organics has been a huge supporter of my book (even sponsoring my book tour) because they share my desire to celebrate the realities of parenthood. We both believe that by talking about the ups and downs of having a new baby, like in Plum Organic’s #ParentingUnfiltered campaign, we help normalize the experience for everyone.
Here’s what you’ll find inside our Second Baby Survival Kit:
1) Plum Eat Your Colors Line
Remember when you had your first kid and you thought you had to make all your baby food from scratch? HAHAHA. Those days were hilarious. Why make your life difficult when somebody has already done it for you? Plum’s brand new Eat Your Colors line comes in six vibrant colors which is a great way to get your baby to experiment with different foods and take in some extra nutrients too.
2) $50 Gift Card to Urban Sitter
You know what parents of two or more kids need more than anything? A NIGHT OUT. What stops them? Lack of childcare and lack of planning. On Urban Sitter you can find trusted sitters at a moment’s notice, recommended by people in your community.
3) Lifefactory Wine Glasses
Do I need to explain why parents need to relax with a glass of red every once in awhile? These wine glasses provide extra grip and protection and maybe prevent a spill or two. If they don’t prevent a spill, at least they prevent them shattering on the floor.
4) Chewbeads
Once you’ve dealt with your baby eating your phone, gnawing on shoulder and using your sunglasses like a chew toy, you realize you need a more foolproof teething plan in place. Chewbeads are the one thing you own that you won’t mind if it winds up in your baby’s mouth. In fact, that’s the point.
5) Ear plugs
When you finally decide to sleep train the baby, these “I’m Not Listening” Ear Plugs will come in handy. They’ll also come in handy when you breastfeed the baby and don’t want to hear your toddler screaming for help in the other room. You’ll get to him eventually.
6) “Stick a Cork in it” Pacifier
I remember “pacifier” vs. “no pacifier” being quite the debate when my first was a baby. Would it mess up her teeth? Would she become too dependent on it? Would she use the pacifier straight up through grade school??? Nope. The answer is NOPE. Both my girls used pacifiers religiously when they were little and we took them away when the doctor told us too (around 18 months), with way less drama than we imagined. I say, it it helps, “Stick a Cork in it.” The pacifier can be a total sanity saver.
7) Adult Coloring Book
When both kids are finally down for the count, what’s a mom to do? Sleep when the baby sleeps? NAH. Let off some steam with the Swear Word Coloring Book for Parents. Since your kids probably can’t read, feel free to color when they are wide awake too.
8) Assortment of Plum Snacks
Nothing makes parenting easier more than well-received snacks. Pre-packaged single serve snacks that you can toss in a diaper bag like Plum’s Little Yums Teething Wafers, Mashups, Mighty Snack Bars are what makes the world go round. Puffs were my go-to to keep my baby seated at a restaurant before the food was served. Now, Plum’s Super Puffs come in a larger variety of nutrient-packed flavors. And I can’t say enough good things about Plum Mighty Dinos. We go through a pack a day at my office and we don’t even have any children in here!
9) Sleep is Overrated Candle
This Strong Cup of Coffee-scented candle will keep you awake when you know going to bed is futile. You’ll just need to get up in a couple of hours anyway. Plus it can help you feel rejuvenated in the morning after another sleepness night. Did I mention that the scent can do wonders to hide that diaper pail stench?
10) Grounds for Change Coffee & Numi Tea
If the candle doesn’t do the trick, maybe actually ingesting caffeine will help. Grounds for Change produces fair trade organic coffee, including this bag of their Cafe Femenino blend from Peru. If tea is really more your thing, the Numi Tea Mini Sampler has 8 different teas for you to try.
11) Dry Shampoo
It’s called Dirty Secret for a reason. New moms don’t have time to shower everyday and new moms of baby #2 don’t have time to shower at all. But nobody has to know that if you’ve got the right dry shampoo.
12) Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Truffles
I’ll meet you in the kitchen to sample these Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Truffles from Alter Eco. What? You don’t see me? Try crouching down behind the counter so you’re not in your toddler’s line of view. There I am!
13) Basq NYC Bright Eyes
Remember how I said sleep is overrated? Somehow your undereye bags didn’t get the message. Hopefully, this cucumber eye cream will help with your dark circles, because we both know your sleep schedule isn’t getting any better for at least the next five years.
14) A signed copy of my book!
As I said, there is no better gift for parents of a second child than to tell them that’s it’s going to be a shit show for a little bit, but that’s okay. The shit show happens to us all. If you want to find out when the good stuff starts, turn to Page 154, which is titled “Why You Should Have Two Kids.” You can buy “The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting” here.
To enter, you must subscribe to the Mommy Shorts newsletter and leave a comment below sharing your best piece of #ParentingUnfiltered advice for moms and dads about to have their first or second or third or fourth or…
If you don’t already subscribe, you can do so here.
WINNER UPDATE:
Congratulations to Alexis L! Please contact allie@mommyshorts.com to claim your prize!
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This post was sponsored by Plum Organics, but all thoughts and opinions are my own.
Don’t worry about reading so many advice pieces. It’s all the same as the first time around and your not going to have the time anyways.
There will be days you feel like screaming, running away or like you are doing everything wrong. Best piece of advice whether parent of 1 or 6 is to not be so hard on yourself. Nobody is perfect but in your kiddos’ eyes you come pretty close!!
I’m three months into being a mom-of-two and I think the best of info/advice I can give is that the baby part is SO much easier the second time around! Just take some time to prepare your older child/children for the birth of their new sibling (if they’re old enough to know what’s about to happen). We did that with our 4 year old and, although the first month was a bit rocky, I think that preparing her for the birth of her sister, trying to explain how her world was about to change, was helpful. She is a great big sister!
Pick your battles and sometimes feel free to give in to a Ranch only dinner to make YOUR life easier.
i have a 2yr old and a 6mo old that doesn’t want to sleep when everyone else is sleeping, and we live in a 2bd apartment. we decided to move the baby’s crib into the living room so everyone could get a little bit more sleep when baby chooses to party it up at 2am…
Don’t feel guilty about just sitting around enjoying time with your newborn. Maternity leave is over before you know it and a clean house is way overrated.
Best kept secret: WINE
I’m expecting my 2nd right now, so this swag bag is very timely! My advice is to make time for yourself every week. Schedule a massage, take a bath, go to the gym, or just take a nap. You can’t take care of everyone else if you’re not taking care of yourself.
I’m preparing for baby #3 and the best advice I have heard that is true for any number of kids is the days are long but the years are short. Keeps even the worst days in perspective….and on those long days hide a bottle of wine in your bathroom! (When you’re not pregnant of course, lol)
I’m about to be a mom of 2 kids under 2 and I am a little freaked out about it all. Just take it one day at a time and try to survive. I’m liking all this advice on this board and I love the book Ilana. It helped me realize that parenting isn’t about being perfect but enjoying the little everyday moments that make you smile. Thanks for writing the book and the blog!
relax, the first one is still alive so you must be doing something right! Let the second one do more on their own. i.e. Hold their own bottle while you get ready for the day!
Turn out you CAN survive on 4 total hours of sleep and waking up every 2 hours at night. Plus sleep training is not one and done, with every developmental milestone sleep training goes out the window ??
Take a deep breath and trust yourself… and d never turn down an offer to help!
We’ve only had the 1 child so far, but the best advice I have is to pat yourself on the back more often! Parents focus so much on things they could’ve/should’ve done, instead of all the great stuff that they did do. Remind yourself that you’re doing great work every day.
Second kids often come with different personalities, so don’t panic if what worked for your oldest doesn’t work for the new baby. Keep trying, you’ll figure it out just like you did the first time!
Also, once the second gets older, the hills you are willing to die on are much taller. 🙂
Advice for a second time mom? Let the guilt slide! And get out of the house everyday! (Front porch counts as out of the house!) This craziness is just a season of life- may not seem like it, but it will eventually pass. (Leave out the part that the next season is crazy too!).
Advice for a mom of 1-4: Just do what you have to do to survive, and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. As long as you are thinking of your kids’ best interest they’ll be fine.
Best advice: hide the good snacks or tell the kids they are only for adults. Nothing is more relaxing than sitting down with a nice box of cheezits that you know little fingers haven’t been in.
The best advice I got was from a dear friend of two who sat me down, looked me dead in the eyes and said, “Seriously sleep when the baby sleeps. …Your dishes will get done eventually, the dogs won’t die and your husband won’t hate you. You need to sleep when the baby sleeps.”
It is ok if you don’t read them 3 (or 2 or 1) bedtime stories Every single night. They will still eventually learn to read when they go to school. They won’t be permanently damaged from missing a night of a bedtime story because you didn’t get home till 9pm and had school the next day.
(Personal advice from last night) 🙂
Remember that kids are tougher than we think. The older one adjusts and the baby won’t remember that you let him/her cry a little longer when you were dealing with kid 1
I don’t even have a second kid, but that’s an awesome bag of stuff! The only advice I really found useful was to park next to the cart return, not at the front of the store. Makes it so much easier to put the kiddo in the car and pop the cart right into the return.
I just gave birth to my 2nd 2 weeks ago and honestly I’m way too sleep deprived to come up with advise. Maybe keep caffeine on hand… like in IV form.
Relax! As long as everyone is fed and happy (as happy as they can be!) it was a good day. Everything else can wait. And sleep when they sleep (easier said than done!).
Do what feels right, follow your gut and don’t feel guilty for not living up to society’s (aka social media’s) unrealistic standards.
If it’s not your first kid, you definitely won’t sleep when the baby sleeps! Did anyone actually do that with their first kid, anyway??
Get a dog, mine loves cleaning up the floor underneath the highchair and I don’t have to scrub the floors as often!
Don’t be afraid to ask for help! There really are no prizes for doing it all by yourself and even though they may not do it *exactly* how you like it, people really just want to help, including your spouse!
Patiently waiting for baby #5 and the best advice I have is this: Embrace the mess. I mean be okay with the dirt, stains, spills, and chicken nuggets stuffed in underpants. Most things are washable, kids included. Don’t waste time trying to be perfect because, sometimes, the best memories come from the mess!
So far with a 3 year old and a 6 month old my mantra has been, take the path of least resistance (I literally mutter it to myself), but I’m so tired right now I can’t think of any examples.
I had borrowed most of the $$ gear with my #1 and the people I had borrowed from were having #2 at the same time I was. So my advise is buying used is perfectly ok! Also, at my sprinkle we just got gift cards and diapers and it was wonderful.
Always accept any offer of help – particularly if someone offers to babysit!
Relax!!! Kids are like dogs, they sense fear and will attack :-)Nobody’s perfect…do your best and don’t be afraid to ask for help (or cry).
Let your SO search Google. I promise you can find every answer imaginable including, “You’re going to ruin your babies life!”. Just let them search so you don’t end up a crying mess on the floor. Again.
Always say yes to help! And to make the days go faster, always leave the house for at least a few minutes. It breaks up the monotony of the day, even to just drive through the post office, it it worth it!
Forgive yourself. You will not perfect. You will not do all the things you said you would do, and you will do some of the things you said you’d never do. It’s okay and your kids will be better for it. They will see how you act with adversity, how you pick your battles, how you deal with emotions ranging from fatigue, frustration, desperation, and fear (alongside some good ones) and it will be a good lesson for everyone. Admit mistakes to your kid and apologize when you take something out on them unfairly. It teaches them how to do these things and how to handle their emotions (and how to react to other people’s emotions). In short, Being imperfect is the best gift you can give your children.
I’m about 8 weeks away from officially becoming a mom of two, so reading all these tips is both comforting and terrifying. Guess I’m already on my way since I gave up on dinner guilt/ fight months ago (since I am still puking in my third trimester). My advice- life is too short to argue over how many pieces of Brocolli they ate… give them a gummy vitamin and move on to something more enjoyable for everyone.
Learn to just surrender to whatever stage your dealing with. Going with the flow instead of fighting it will make your life a MILLION times easier.
Accept that it is totally ok to be a hypocrite… “Only one piece of Halloween candy after dinner…” (quickly turns back to shove 3 Reeces in the pocket of your bathrobe to enjoy later.) #ParentingUnfiltered
Alternate mornings “on” so that you or your S.O. Will get a chance to sleep an extra hour or two in the weekends (or weekday – no shame!).
Don’t beat yourself up over anything – it’s all about survival and if you have any feelings of guilt that just proves you’re doing a great job!
A simple piece of advice. Do what works for you. Even if it’s different from what your friends do or what your mother-in-law did. As long as it’s working for you, ignore everyone else. Mama knows best!
Two things needed to survive becoming a mom of 2:
Wine & a crockpot
It’s ok to not have a revolving door when the baby comes. Take your time bonding and adjusting to the new little one.
Relax and don’t sweat the small stuff. I feel like I was so caught up in my daughter achieving her milestones for her age and rushed her out of being a baby. With my son I’m much more relaxed and feel like I have been able to enjoy him being a baby a lot more. If he doesn’t crawl, ever, because I’m snuggling him all day, I’m okay with that. Babies grow way too fast.
Everything is a phase that will pass eventually and some days it’s just about survival 🙂
If someone offers to help, just say YES!
I’m only 5 days in with baby #2, but my advice would be to relax. Try to enjoy this time and remember, we figured this all out once before. We can do it again.
This prize pack is awesome. We’re two months in with baby #2, my only advice so far? Let #1 watch as much tv as she wants during the first 6 weeks. Life will resume at some point.
Don’t be a slave to the schedule!
My advice: second, third, fourth babies— they are all different from any baby you’ve had, so keep an open mind, try new things, and you’ll eventually figure each other out! 🙂
I’m a week and a half away from having number 2. With my first, I worried about silly things like screen time. I’ve learned to let that go and already purchased a kindle for my 2.5 year old “from the baby.” Loading it this weekend with lots of apps then adding it to the hospital bag. I wonder if my daughter will be more excited to meet her brother or to get her kindle. 🙂
It took me a while to learn that it is okay to let the new baby cry for a couple minutes, so you could pee, or get something for your other kid, or hide in the closet and eat a cookie. Once I figured out it was easier to take care of my toddlers or my own need first, then I could focus on the newborn with must less stress all of us were much happier.
Don’t worry about sanitizing the pacifier or anything else after it falls on the floor. Your kids are going to decide to lick their shoes one day, so a little extra dirt won’t hurt them!
Best advice I ever received: If you can hear them crying, you know they’re breathing. Just finish rinsing your hair.
Totally! Have you read Ilianna’s post about showering after a newborn? Both hilarious and totally accurate. It was actually my first time reading mommyshorts and I’ve been following since!
Be prepared for your second baby to be nothing like your first! I was ready to use all the tricks I tried with my first on my second because it worked the first time, right?! Well my newest little one is SO different than my first! We are havIng to go right back to the drawing board to figure out all of her likes and dislikes but luckily this time it’s a bit easier to roll with the punches!!
My best piece of parenting advice is to just RELAX! The baby will eventually let you put them down, until then get a comfortable baby carrier and enjoy your TiVo! Housework can wait, besides isn’t that what dads are for 😉
I’m one month into being a mom of two. It is a bit easier the second time around. My advise would be to use a sound machine for white noise for when your toddler is playing but the baby is sleeping.
My best piece of advice is not to listen to the nay sayers. I had so many people tell me that they “just don’t know how you do it”. The truth of it all, you just do! You figure out a way and as long as your children and healthy, loved and happy, screw everyone else’s opinions.
Plus my pediatician reminded me “no kid has ever died from crying” so those ear plugs may really come in handy! Lol
Survival mode is a real thing! If they need to sleep in your bed let them.
Model brave behavior, they’all be less likely to be easily flustered if they see you taking safe risks.
My best #ParentingUnfiltered advice is to make use of your crockpot, or acquire one if you don’t have one yet. I prep and throw everything in during nap time, so the food is cooked and ready to be served come dinner!
Don’t compare yourself or your kid to anyone else!
Drink all the wine. You’re welcome
My best advise could be to ask for help. It’s sounds simple enough but when it comes down to it we all forget. Let your family come over and do things like, laundry, cleaning the bathroom. Basically whatever you need done. Also don’t be afraid to turn people down when they ask if they can visit. Just let them know that they can come another day which is more convenient for you.
You know that mom you see out and about with a baby about 6 weeks older than yours who seems to have everything figured out? She feels just as clueless as you and thinks the same things about the Moms who have kids that are just a bit older than hers…
My mum told me to make sure no kid can touch another kid in the car. I’m pregnant with number three and this is a top priority when looking for our next car!
Having two kids is great ( I’m preggers with number 3) – when one is being a dick you can look at the other one being sweet and think ‘it’s not me– its them’
I’m 3 months shy of becoming a mom of 2 and I’m terrified/excited/anxious/overwhelmed.
My advice for first time moms and advice I fully intend to take this time is ACCEPT THE HELP. I felt the need to prove that I could do it all with my daughter. I didn’t want to admit I needed help. I’m already asking for help now and I still have a few months. 🙂
I don’t have much advice for parenting multiples. I have an almost 2 year old and 11 weeks pregnant with my second. My only guesses/parenting advice is to always bring something (toys/snacks) to keep the toddler occupied. A glass of wine (or my preference ice cream) is ok at the end of the day! Watch your mouth around your toddlers. And the crockpot is your best friend.
Just survive somehow (JSS)?
Due with my second in April, I’ll soon again be reminding myself of this very advice – trust your instincts and do what works for you and your family!
Dear lord do I need this! I have a 2 year old currently potty training, a 4 month old that won’t sleep and a hubby out of work on injury. I NEED this.
#parentingunfiltered all kids will need therapy one day. So do your best and have some fun!
Monthly cleaning service. So very worth it.
I’m about to have baby number two and recently a Mom of classmate to my three year old (and a Mom of four herself) told me, in response to my lamenting over the struggle to get my daughter dressed in the morning when nothing pink is clean, “I just went to the Gap and bought six pairs of pink leggings and was done with it.” I don’t think she meant it as advice but I suddenly felt like a light was shined on the most obvious solution to a daily battle. Needless to say my daughter’s wardrobe got a little pinker that weekend (which she was thrilled about)!
I’m a mother to a 2 year old and 6 months pregnant with my second. I’ve come to appreciate the phrase “mind your own damn business.” Every mother on the street has some idea on how to raise your kid better than you can. I call BS on that. You wanna feed your kids chicken nuggets and ice cream for dinner because you are freaking tired, you do it. If You let them eat the whole bag of cookies so you can grocery shop without a tantrum, you do it. If You give them benadryl for their runny nose instead of essential oils in a diffuser, you do it. Raise your kids the best you can. If they are fed, healthy, and happy, you did good for the day! Even if they fell asleep in yesterday’s outfit…again.
Haha. I love this, I wish I had a mummy friend like you. I would feel so empowered , instead of feeling shamed for all the choices I make, to get it thru
#parentingunfiltered my best advice is to not forget about yourself! Too many times we become slaves to taking care of our babies , husband , and having a clean house that we tend to forget about ourselves. Have a cup of coffee (or 2) and sit back and enjoy some time to yourself. We work so hard , we deserve a few minutes of peace !
I’m expecting my third this December. I have two girls (ages 6 and 2) and this little bundle is a boy! I’m hoping to be lucky enough to land this swag bag for some sanity. Some helpful advice for those expanding their family is that a messy house is a home that is lived in and where parents are spending time enjoying their time cuddling and playing with their children. Children are little ones for a limited time so cherish it while it’s here (with wine to curb your own tantrums when things are too stressful).
I have a 3 year old and a 5 month old. The best piece of advice I have? There is NO SHAME in using the TV to keep your older one occupied while you tend to the baby. Curious George is a favorite around here!
Honestly one thing that helped me get through the first few months of having a newborn was having a routine. Always going for the same walk, eating lunch at the same time and watching a feel good show…etc etc. In a new world where it feels like everything is unpredictable, you have control over a little piece still.
Mom of one due with number 2 in just 27 days!! My best parenting advice is not really advice at all but I’ve always told my friends that parents make everything up as we go along, there is no right or wrong…you just do what you do in the moment and hope it works.
Do what works for YOU! Forget about what other people think.
I’m about to have my second child and I’m terrified. Mostly because this time I’m having a girl! My advice for first time parents is to definitely let things go. I’m a perfectionist and felt everything had to be perfect (the house, the holidays, trips to the store) when really this lil blob human won’t remember anything.
6 months pregnant with a 21-month old. I get asked regularly if I’m ready. I remember after my first one was born vividly. This one can stay in as long as it likes! Advice given to us is to make time for our first born with each of us, everyday. Can’t wait to see them grow up together!
Be prepared for baby number 2 (or 3 or 4) to be totally different from baby number 1. Be ready to go with the flow since some things that worked might not work this time… Or baby 2 could surprise you and be a calm easy going baby 🙂
To be honest, I’m 3 months pregnant with my 3rd & often forget that I’m even pregnant! With the first you have so much time to focus on every detail.. but with the 2nd, 3rd etc.. You’re so busy already “Momming” you don’t have time to sweat the small stuff.
Just enjoy each moment as it comes, because it will all go by so fast.. & you’ll look back & wonder where it all went.
“Let them be little!” ❤
The best piece of advice I can give is to have a sense of humor. Getting puked/pooped/peed on at 3am or right after you finally got to shower for the first time in ages may not seem funny at the time, but I promise it will eventually! In the meantime, trying to see the bright side of every situation will help you keep your cool when you are outnumbered!
My best piece of advice? There is NO SHAME in making the kids play outside for the next couple of hours (or days) after you get the house clean! Dress them appropriately and off they go! You will feel 1000x better when your house is clean for more than 3 minutes!
Nap when they nap.
It’s okay to be content with a calm life — after having kids, I learned to appreciate a Friday (and Saturday, and Sunday…) night at home just being a family.
Throw a couple of light-up toys into the crib with the toddler when he wakes up early, to buy yourself a few extra minutes to nurse the (surprise bonus) baby in silence/dark.
Also, even if it’s with a crappy phone camera and nothing special, take a picture, every day, of each subsequent child. That way, in 20 years and they’re trying to blame us for not loving them like the others, you have proof you tried!
Don’t read the books. Except mommyshorts of course ? We have been parenting for generations and most of us came out ok.
I completely agree with one of the comments above – if you can hear them crying they are breathing and get your task at hand done.
The days are long but the years are short. Find joy the long days (and nights) because it goes by quickly. #ParentingUnfiltered
I’m not entirely sure I’m qualified to hand out advice, I’m still trying to figure out this thing called parenting. Perhaps that is my advice, that no one really knows what they are doing 100% of the time. Sometimes you have to wing it.
Accept help every single time it’s offered. You won’t regret it. Also, freeze as many meals as you can before baby #2 comes around.
I am expecting baby #2 in about 8 weeks. Expect to have to toddler become the “big helper”. Have
T planned nearly the same amount as the first time around ?
Don’t let your mother in laws judgment of your messy house get to you. The only reason her house is spotless is because she doesn’t have small children living in it. And she wishes she did.
My advice would be to think about yourself more this time. As moms we tend to feel guilty or bad when we want or need our a lone time. Make sure you take it this time, it’s not a shame it keeps us sane!
don’t worry when you’re out and the baby starts to cry. You’ll probably be in target or eating at an Olive Garden. A newborn baby crying summons emotions from everyone who has been there. NO ONE JUDGES and if they do then they are jerks! I would get so worried and want to hurry out to soothe my daughter and feel like I was seriously doing something wrong. No need to feel self concious. Every parent has been there and we get it! And we miss it!
I’m a new mom to my 2-month old baby and everything is still a roller coaster but it feels a lot better than the first few days so my advise is that it will be better and sleep is definitely for the weak! Haha.