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Today is Harlow’s birthday! (More on that later.) She turns four. Can you believe it? How can @insta2yearold be four??? In honor of her special day, I decided to post cake smash photos. What’s a cake smash? Babies going to town on their very first birthday cakes. 

Of course, Mazzy and Harlow are both too old for cake smashes, but even when they were babies, they were both absurdly neat when eating desserts. I think in Harlow’s case, it’s because she’s a neat freak and in Mazzy’s case, it’s because she wouldn’t dream of wasting frosting by letting it go anywhere but in her mouth. Both my girls had terrible cake smashes on their first birthdays. There was no smashing. Not even crying. Just indifference. I was like— come on, guys! I’m a mom blogger! Give me something!!!

To which Mazzy said, “NOPE.”

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Thank god I have you guys to show me how a real cake smash is done.

I asked for cake smash photos on my Facebook page last week and today I’m giving out awards to the best entries. My absolute favorite photo gets a six month supply of Bounty paper towels. Because judging by some of the pics below, these parents are STILL cleaning up the mess.

All we needed for my girls was a napkin. LAME.

The Cake Smash Smack Down Awards

1. The “I’m Glad We Did This Outside” Award

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2. Best Cake Beard

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3. Most Enchanted Smash

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4. Best Face Plant

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5. Best Sculpting Technique

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6. Most Likely to Share her Cake with Mickey Mouse

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7. Most likely to get tossed in the washing machine

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8. The “Go Away, I’m Busy” Award

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9. Most Perplexed Smash

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10. Biggest Sugar Rush

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11. Most Disappointed by a Cupcake / The “I Thought This Was Called a Cake Smash” Award

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12. The “I can’t believe my parents are letting me do this!” Award

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13. Biggest Sugar Coma

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14. Most Contemplative Smash

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15. Most Stoic Smash

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16. Least Kissable

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17. Best Cake Mitts

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18. Most Likely to Get Permanent Food Coloring Stains

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19. The “This Dirt Tastes Delicious!” Award

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20. Most Likely to Learn a Big Birthday Lesson

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21. The “Where’s My Seconds?” Award

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22. Most Innocent Smash

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23. Biggest Clean-up

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24. Most Miserable Smash

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25. Most Likely to Keep her Headband Clean

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26. The “Taste the Rainbow” Award

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27. Best Smash Stance

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28. The “It Wasn’t Me” Award

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29. The “Stuff Your Face” Award

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30. The “Eat it While I Can” Award

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31. Most Gleeful Cake Destruction

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32. The Teamwork Award

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33. Most Color Coordinated

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34. Most in Need of his Highchair Restraints

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35. The Fanciest Smash

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36. Biggest Mouthful

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37. The “I Don’t Have to Go Back to Eating Protein and Vegetables after this, do I?” Award

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And the winner goes to this photo taken by Faces You Love…..

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…Because they could use the Bounty paper towels to wipe away all their simultaneous tears.

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Congratulations, Jennifer G! Please contact allie@mommyshorts.com to claim your six month supply of Bounty paper towels. That’s 20 rolls of paper towels, in case you are curious.

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Whether it’s celebrating a first birthday or teaching your baby how to sip from a grown-up cup or coming out of the bathroom to see the entire kitchen covered in cracked eggs, parenthood is filled with messy firsts. When they happen, you probably run for the paper towels. Bounty rolls are super absorbent, so you don’t need as many to clean up, and the roll can last up to 50% longer.

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You can clean the mess quickly and go back to enjoying the moment, even if that moment is your baby crying over a piece of cake.

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Can I eat it?