Today, on Veterans Day, I am honored to introduce the Parks family, a family who has been serving our country for 9 years. Erika and Joe live on an Air Force base in Montgomery, Alabama with their four boys. On the day we visited them, Joe was home for a brief break from deployment but was returning to South Korea the very next morning for another five-month stretch. Erika says “military families are just like civilian families” with the same parental learning curve, toddler tantrums and struggles, but they’re often functioning as a single parent household, faraway from extended family.
When Joe is away, Erika says it’s hard for her patience not to be stretched thin, but she prefers to focus on how their service benefits their family.
“Our military family experience has made us stronger. Our boys have become more helpful around the house, a great life skill to develop early. They are learning patience in a way that’s hard to duplicate. We’ve all learned to be open and honest about how we feel, which is especially important when there’s so much time and distance between us. Our boys are growing up being able to relate to feelings in other people, with an ability to clearly express their own emotions.”
She also says that being a military family helps distill what is really important to them, which is a strong family foundation built on communication.
“Joe and I talk about everything and anything. He’s my best friend. I need to be able to talk to him about a terrible day with tantrums, a plugged-up toilet, and gymnastics fees. He needs to be able to talk to me about missing our son’s birthday, the weight of his chem gear, and the funny thing a co-worker said. It goes both ways, and I truly believe that developing open communication between parents is the foundation for a strong family. I am very thankful for the video chats that have helped keep us close while he is away from home.”
When we found out that Joe was deploying so close to our film date, we asked if we could follow them along to the airport. I wasn’t sure if Erika would want to have a camera crew around on such an emotional day, but she welcomed it, saying that she is usually the one holding the camera so it would be nice to see the full picture of their family saying goodbye, herself included.
When you watch the video below, I think you will see more than a family making do while their dad is away. Erika is truly Supermom, whether she sees herself that way or not.
Erika thought the video painted a clear picture of her family, “clarified the important things we do,” and helped her “see the beauty in the chaos.”
“Often, I’m so submerged in everything that I lose sight of the larger picture and this video helps me see it again.”
On Veterans Day, Erika usually brings her boys to the local parade. Then she plans to teach them about the history of the holiday, help them write thank you notes to veterans who have been important in their lives, and think about how both military members and their families serve our country.
“If you know a military family, ask them how everything’s going. We get a lot of ‘thank you for your service,’ but it’s nice when someone asks more, shows real caring, and offers real words of support. When someone tells you that you’re strong, or that they’re amazed by what you’re handling, it makes us feel less alone.”
I asked Erika if there is anything extra she would like her husband to know, if he sees this video and reads this post.
“I love you and miss you always. You balance me out, and I always feel wobbly inside when you’re gone, even when I have to be strong and not let it show. We’re in the home stretch of this deployment now, and we’re all looking forward to taking the next step together.”
Please leave a comment in support of Erika and her extraordinary family below.
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This post is part of the “Extraordinary Families” series sponsored by Allstate. “Extraordinary Families” aims to show what life is like, sun up to sun down, for families facing (and overcoming!) unique and challenging circumstances. As the nation’s largest publicly held insurance company, Allstate is dedicated to protecting what matters most.
Beautiful family, Erika! Such strength and love throughout the video with happy smiling boys. Thank you to our family for your service and sacrifice. I love your perspective in utilizing the difficulties of your hisband’s deployment to make your family stronger and build vital skills in your sons. You all are extraordinary! Thanks, Ilana, for continuing and expanding this amazing series.
Tears. So many tears. I will continue to pray for the Parks family through the deployment and afterwards. They are trying so hard and doing everything right.
I am grateful for an in awe of the strength of you, your husband, and your children. Thank you is a paltry sentiment for how much you are loved and appreciated.
Erika, I am so delighted to read about your family and watch the video. Your life is so full, it astounds and impresses me how you stay so organized and also so connected.
I honestly feel like we would be good friends.
Wow. What an amazing family! Thank you for sharing your family and your story. And Erika, I don’t know that i have the right words to describe the strength that you show in supporting your husband and children the way you do and not only keeping the household running but home schooling and raising what seem to be 4 wonderful boys. You’re doing an amazing job!
I don’t really comment – but this one I must. Thank you, I can’t pretend to know what it is like – but thank you – and I hope these 5 months fly By as fast as possible. ❤️ Your boys are seem like amazing kids, if you are ever stationed in Albuquerque we should meet up
Thank you for featuring a military family! And my heart is with the Parks family. My husband is an active duty AF pilot, the support and understanding of other military families and civilians who really get it helps immeasurable. It can be really hard to hear people complaining about a spouse being gone for a week… it’s not that they don’t have a right to their feelings but it seems like there is such a huge gulf between the experience of a non military family and one who says goodbye to their spouse and the kids to their dad knowing that their flying into a war zone. That the words “I’ll be safe” aren’t a promise that can be made. I loved seeing the positivity this family has and I hope on Veterans Day it’s sheds a little more light on the day to life of being a mil family!
Thank you for your family’s service! Erika, your family is truly amazing!
Erika, this is really awesome. 🙂 I’m lucky to be related to this amazing family, Joe is my little brother. He is an amazing dad to those boys, and I’ve never seen anyone as devoted to his wife. I think he can attribute some of who he is to his parents, who are also military veterans, our Da served 30 years, and our Mom is a combat veteran who served overseas and retired at 20 years.
Thanks so much for the sacrifices you and your family have made to ensure we have the freedom we enjoy. Your sacrifices are much appreciated! My father was a major in the Air Force so I can relate to how your kids feel… missing their Dad but also being so proud of what he does! God Bless you and your family!
I don’t think that’s a fair statement. These kids do tons of activities outside the home and seem very active in their community.
Amazing, what an amazing family!!! And Erika is a supermom!!!
And Btw, i do know many home schooled kids who are just like any other kids, social, active, respectful and just being kids! They do have home school groups in the small town I live in, that has designated days in a month to go on fields trips to the museums. Learning to help out at home, share responsibility are big life skills that these kids are learning…. and public schools are not good unless one can afford an expensive home in a good neighborhood or pay for private school. My kid goes to public school, but I don’t think there is anything wrong with home-schooling (Sorry didn’t know how to respond to a specific post)
Thank you all so much for your service and your family’s service. Beautiful family! Sending love and prayers!
Wow. Just wow. You are doing an amazing job and I hope the next few months go by quickly! Your kids are very lucky to have such a wonderful set of parents! Thank you??
I don’t want to just feed you back the words you said you liked to hear, but they are the truth: you are strong and amazing! Loved seeing what a team you and your husband are, and how thoughtful you are in raising your kids. So
Impressed that you are home schooling on top of everything else you do. I could never do 1/4 of what you do! Wishing your family strength to get through the tough times and a very happy reunion at the end of Joe’s deployment.
Beautiful, Erica! I was so moved by your extraordinary strength and positive attitude! Keep it up, we’re all rooting for you and your family!
Erika, thank you for sharing your family story with us! The amount of joy I see in all of you is tremendous, you and your husband are doing things very right. What a beautiful and extraordinary family. I wish your husband a safe return, and appreciate all that he and your family do for our country.
You have such a beautiful family! Thank you for sharing your story with us and I wish you the best of luck for a smooth deployment. I admire the courage and bravery of every member of your family and am so grateful for the sacrifice you all have made. It sounds so cliche, but thank you is the best I can say and send virtual hugs your way.