It’s a very small shop. It sells two items. It doesn’t even sell my book because that would be silly when it is available in real shops like Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Places where shipping is presumably much cheaper. But you guys asked if I could make the Remarkably Average Mug (which was the pre-sales gift from my publisher) and the Mommy Shorts Tote (which was the gift bag for my book launch party) available for purchase and I thought… how tricky can this e-commerce thing be?

I mean, I figured out Snapchat and Instagram Live so I’m sure I could set up a little e-store…

So here it is! The Mommy Shorts Shop!

It’s merchandise is VERY SPECIFIC. I sell a thing to drink out of and a thing to carry other things in. I hope you are looking for one or the other or both.

So far, since mentioning it in my holiday gift guide, we have had a ridiculously large influx of sales! The total is NINE.

Now, I know that might seem like a small number to some but I fully expected to sell NONE, so I am tickled by this. Allie and Pam even surprised me with a letter board to track the sales, pictured up top. It sits in our office as we anxiously await the need to update it. We practically fight each other for the honor. So please know, if you purchase something, it will not just be tallied on a website somewhere out there in cyberspace, it will result in a real life celebration of three on the top floor in a corner office of some building south of Union Square and North of Houston. YOU DID THAT.

Actually the first person who placed an order left a comment on Instagram saying, “Mommy Shorts Tote! Ordered and en route!” And we all laughed and laughed because we were like, “It is???” Unless one of us physically gets up off our ass, puts it in a box and takes it to the mail room, NOTHING IS EN ROUTE. (You’ll be happy to know that we are very efficient team and our first customer received her tote pronto!)

In case you haven’t seen them yet, here is the Mommy Shorts Tote:

It is roomy and well-made with a denim top and yellow raincoat material on the bottom. It has VERY SUBTLE branding. Since I gave them out at my book launch party, I have witnessed numerous people carry it around. My mom friends, of course, but also dads, children and twenty-something-year-olds who are in no way close to having kids. They usually text me pictures with captions like, “Look at what tote I’m using today!”

Well, of course you are, Danielle Guenther. IT IS A GREAT TOTE.

And then there is the Remarkably Average Mug:

It’s for parents that are not just accepting of their average-ness, they want to show it off to their family and co-workers. Or just admire it as they flip on Paw Patrol and turn their attention away from their kids to more important things like finishing a Stranger Things marathon.

Remember when I told you the eight things you could do with your Remarkably Average Mug? Those all still hold true. Particularly the #babymugging. Check out this cutie!

Both the mug and the tote (clicking on either will take you to my store) would be an awesome add-on to any holiday gift including “The Mommy Shorts Guide to Remarkably Average Parenting.” I mean, the book would be a great holiday gift on its own, but if you want to amp up your generosity, I recommend some additional Mommy Shorts merchandise!

I’m hoping to produce more Mommy Shorts items in the new year, but for now, I’ll close here.

Humble beginnings at the Mommy Shorts Shop. Stay tuned!